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When I was considering a D4 that stupid card thing was a real turnoff.
All that said, and as much as I HATE Sony, seems like your issues here have to do with a lot of vendors and manufacturers, and not Sony alone. Plus, expecting you to pay to send the card back isn't unusual. I didn't read all of your wall of text there, but did you ask about a cross-ship? Usually you can provide a credit card number and they'll ship you a new one immediately, and just charge you if you don't return the bad card.
All that said, and as much as I HATE Sony, seems like your issues here have to do with a lot of vendors and manufacturers, and not Sony alone. Plus, expecting you to pay to send the card back isn't unusual. I didn't read all of your wall of text there, but did you ask about a cross-ship? Usually you can provide a credit card number and they'll ship you a new one immediately, and just charge you if you don't return the bad card.