# aaarrggghhh-weddign vent



## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

removed before client sees this...


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## souljourney (Jan 1, 2008)

Ugh...no advice for you but I had to give you a :hugs:!  This is why I _don't _shoot weddings anymore.  Some people are made for that job.  I am not one of those people!  

Best of luck with Bridezilla!


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

She is one too! )
I just plain old want to say forget it. I am done with you but I know I can't do that. ...


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## dpolston (Jan 1, 2008)

I will probably try to re-read your post later, I think I missed something.

First and foremost "stick to your guns". Tell the bride that you have edited the photos for quality and content, which is a common practice, therefore some are rejected (for poor composition, lighting, focus etc.) and some (for artistic reasons) play better in B&W or by some other manipulation. Also explain that yes, you were happy [lie] to share in her day but the photos are a representation of your photographic work and you need [and will - be very firm here] to control the overall "product", which are your images. Also try to explain the she hired you as a knowledgeable professional and she needs to trust your judgment. 

If this fails... play the "did you a favor because of budget" card or my favorite, Tell her [politely] to eat a big ole bowl of "Get Over It".

Hope this helps.

Seriously... you control your photos!!! It's your reputation at stake. If she shows the ones you think are bad to other people, this might hurt you down the road. Also, if you don't use a contract now, please consider putting these types of stipulations into the contract (bold, underlined... you have full creative control of all images blah, blah, blah!).

David


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

Removed


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## Mike_E (Jan 1, 2008)

It may be her wedding but it is Your reputation!  Random chance causes some photos to be sub (to your) standard and you will not have your name associated with them in any way, therefore, you deleted them as they were never going to see the light of day.  

Hope this helps in the future.:lmao:


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## dpolston (Jan 1, 2008)

boomersgot3 said:


> I should add that the number is not guaranteed? Or just an estimate?



Yes... and estimated is a great word. I tend to estimate [to myself] how many shots I'll take for whatever event, and then generally half that number (so I think I'll take 1000 shots, I'll say something like I "estimate" to proof you out 500 images). That way I can _surprise _them when I produce 750 proofs of those images (hopefully) and they think their getting more bang for the buck when in all actuality, you have kicked out 25% of the bad [to you] shots.


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## Big Bully (Jan 1, 2008)

Wow you guys are a lot nicer than I am! I only take (depending on the wedding) 200 shots. But then again the last few weddings I did as favors for family members. 
But I agree with Mike_E. It may be her wedding, and she is "hopefully" only going to get married once, you on the other hand are going to take wedding pictures for more than one couple. They are YOUR photos, you are the one who created them. And it is also your reputation. So you need to be firm and tell her that although it was her day, these are your photos, and you will make the final decision on what will or will not be on the cd. If she doesn't like it, don't look at those pictures. 

Your bridezilla sounds just about as good as mine.. But I'm not going to steal your limelight.:lmao:


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

removed


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## jols (Jan 1, 2008)

you vent away.

i do what dp does as well.

i offer up to 100 pics to chose from but it is generally 200 and then they are happy.

lets hope your next wedding is better

dont let this put you off


can we see some of the pics of the whingy bride ha ha


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## Big Bully (Jan 1, 2008)

Oh yes, lets see the wonderful bridezilla!!!

In my wedding I had bridezilla's mother to deal with and my mother, not to mention, the bride and grooms families didn't like each other, and the brides parents hated each other.. SOOO that made for a wonderful night..


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## jols (Jan 1, 2008)

yeah.

lets see some grumpy brides instead of the smily happy people


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## Big Bully (Jan 1, 2008)

Who knows, the bride might have actually been pissed that she was getting married... :mrgreen:
Which could be why she was letting everything get to her.


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

removed due to client info. Don't want her to see this.


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## dpolston (Jan 1, 2008)

I would remind her that even though she is the bride... YOU OWN THE PHOTOS. You are the one that crops the image and her manipulation done to the images violates your copyright and she does _not _have you permission to manipulate them in any way. 

If this fails... (and I know this is a hard pill to swallow) demand the cd that you have given to her and all copies, then refund the money less any materials and the pure hourly cost. Walk away.

This bride will KILL your reputation if you let her. Shut her up as quickly as you can. But be firm... stick to your guns. DO NOT give in to her. If you do this time, you'll not recover from it very quickly.

edit: I just read that you have not given her a cd... GREAT! Tell her that this [getting all the photos] is absolutely NOT what other photographers do. She will be a hard one for you but do this... give her your edited pics only. No B&W or crops or anything even if it's only 300 photos. Tell her that you have removed the sub-standard photos and the will not in any way be included in the cd... period.


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

So are you saying to just walk away from this? She was to pay $1000 for cd, and $500 for my time. She gave me $1250 at wedding and was to pay the other $250 when she recieved the cd with the images. She has alrady viewed them online and ordered from smugmug. Should I simply refund her $500 and tell her I am washing my hands of this. I am done? I am not too worried about her ruining my rep or anything as 1-they are very LOW income and couldn't afford even my sitting fee and 2-they live 2 hours away in the middle of nowhere...


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## JerryPH (Jan 1, 2008)

Edited post on behalf of boomer.


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 1, 2008)

I will be re-writing my contract TONIGHT!


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## dpolston (Jan 1, 2008)

BTW - if she slams your reputation (and she will) you just need to be honest with your explanation (if you give one). Say that you refuse to compromise the overall end product of your work for the bride. You are the professional, not her. 

There are a lot of posts here with great wedding advice. (I'll pm you some links)


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## elsaspet (Jan 1, 2008)

Hi Boomer,
I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience!  Mom truly sounds like a terror.

Here are some of the problems you might be having communication wise, though.....

1.  First of all, you need a contract that states that it is up to your artistic opinions which images are received.  Mine goes on and on to basically say, "Im taking a ton, but you will see only the best-and you have to trust me as to what best means".

2.  Secondly, try to stay away from the numbers game.  If you can't, give them a really wide range-500-1000.  That way you have some leeway.

3.  Don't count a bw conversion or a crop (most times) as a seperate photo.  The crop can fly in formals as a separate photo, but that's about it.

4.  When people gripe about how they look in a photo, "Im not smiling in any of them", remind them that you are there to document the day.  You only shoot what happens.  (Or as I sometimes say, "I'm a technician, not a magician")  If she is griping about not smiling in formals, then yes, some of that might be your fault, but only some of it.  The other half is her responsibility.

5.  But the main thing is this:  Who signed the contract?  That is the only person who matters.  For all you know the kids are over the moon in love with the photos.  If Mom didn't sign, I'd politely let her know that you are under contractual obligation to the bride and groom.

Is there any way we could view the gallery?  I'm just curious as to how you are counting photos.

But other that that, the lady sounds like a loon.  You get those from time to time.


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## JerryPH (Jan 1, 2008)

Didn't you go through something like this a while ago, elsapet?


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## dpolston (Jan 1, 2008)

JerryPH said:


> Didn't you go through something like this a while ago, elsapet?




SHHH... she's repressing some memories!   lol


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## elsaspet (Jan 1, 2008)

JerryPH said:


> Didn't you go through something like this a while ago, elsapet?


 
And LOL David....so true.

Yeah, I had a mom who went on and on that the church walls weren't the exact color she remembered.

I've had a couple of nutty mom's come to think of it, but now days, I don't let them praddle on too much.  Even if they write the check, I have bride and groom sign the contract.

But even then the nuts get through.  That's when I add to my contract.  :lmao:  I've got a "Nut clause" for just about every contingency.


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## Big Bully (Jan 1, 2008)

elsaspet said:


> And LOL David....so true.
> 
> Yeah, I had a mom who went on and on that the church walls weren't the exact color she remembered.
> 
> ...


 

A Nut Clause, that is classic! I'm going to have to remember that one!


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## Mike_E (Jan 1, 2008)

White balance is an artistic decision.


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## KristiJo (Jan 2, 2008)

_I know exactly what you are going through when it comes to brides.. I just remind myself.. weddings are good means to pay bills.._

I always... always make them sign contracts.. even my closest friends.


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## JerryPH (Jan 2, 2008)

Brings new meaning to the word Bridezilla... lol

Love the nut clause, I could see it coming in handy quite often!


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 2, 2008)

I recieved several pms suggesting I remove the post due to risking client seeing it. At first I thought...Good She will know I am not wrong. But I have decided it should be taken down. thanks for the advice. I will be mailing her the cd COD (cash on delivery) signature confirmation and cash only. I will not do anythig else with her. She is asking about prints and wanting toorder from a lab at cost since she has the cd. I emailed back with teh simple phrase (WALMART) in bold letters. That is all I have to say to her. Just glad it is done!


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## boomersgot3 (Jan 2, 2008)

Oh and Thank you all for your great advise!!!!


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## Big Bully (Jan 2, 2008)

Well I hope everything turns out for you. Sorry you had such a bad experience.


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## ScottS (Jan 3, 2008)

Gah i HATE missing the whole story!!

Oh well best of luck to ya?


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## Big Bully (Jan 3, 2008)

ScottS said:


> Gah i HATE missing the whole story!!
> 
> Oh well best of luck to ya?


 

Yep you missed a good story!...

Hey boomersgot3 is your customer a member of the site?


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## JerryPH (Jan 3, 2008)

What I want to know is how a customer would find this site, unless they were a photographer themselves, and the coincidences of all the points was obvious.

Even though it is potentially very uncomfortable, it doesn't change the facts of the situation.  Truth hurts sometimes... lol.

I respect your decision to edit your posts and I quoted a lot of your initial reply.  That post is now cleaned up.

Good luck with your challenge!


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## boomersgot3 (Apr 29, 2008)

In the end the client did have to pay me total amount due... plus attorneys fees of $300+. So I feel pretty good about it all....


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## LAW2 (May 1, 2008)

Wow I just read this for the first time and missed the whole backstory, which I was ok with until I saw the post from this month.  Looks like a lot more transpired in the last three months.


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## JimmyO (May 1, 2008)

geez, boy did i miss out, haha


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## boomersgot3 (May 1, 2008)

Just a bridezilla


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## boomersgot3 (May 2, 2008)

LAW2 said:


> Wow I just read this for the first time and missed the whole backstory, which I was ok with until I saw the post from this month. Looks like a lot more transpired in the last three months.


 

She tried to sue me... Said I wasn't a good photographer becuase she wasn't pretty in any of the images..... I am a photographer not a magician..LOL The bride wasn't the prettiest
So judge noted in my favor and she had to pay attorney/court fees as well as the remainder of her portrait purchase... Still stressful but she got what she deserved I thought.


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## LAW2 (May 5, 2008)

Did the judge also rule that she was not as good looking as she thinks? 

Glad to hear that you prevailed.


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## table1349 (May 5, 2008)

The moral of this story is..... If you are going to shoot weddings, you equipment list needs to include a Glock 40 and a full magazine.  :smileys:




Now where did I put my Bridezilla License and tags?


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## boomersgot3 (May 6, 2008)

LAW2 said:


> Did the judge also rule that she was not as good looking as she thinks?
> 
> Glad to hear that you prevailed.


 
LOL! that is soo funny! He told her that she needed to exclude her emotions when dealing with him. She said I intentionally captured her not smiling in like 75% of the photos... I told the judge I wouldn't do that as I make money on images she likes so why would I do that? It is not my fault she wasn't smiling in any of them. It was pretty funny in all reality. Stressfull but funny!
Yes I prevailed !


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## NateS (May 6, 2008)

I wish I could have seen the original post.  This lady seems like such a "tool" that I would say who cares if she finds the site/post at this point.


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## Aggressor (May 6, 2008)

boomersgot3 said:


> LOL! that is soo funny! He told her that she needed to exclude her emotions when dealing with him. She said I intentionally captured her not smiling in like 75% of the photos... I told the judge I wouldn't do that as I make money on images she likes so why would I do that? It is not my fault she wasn't smiling in any of them. It was pretty funny in all reality. Stressfull but funny!
> Yes I prevailed !



Maybe she wanted you to tell her to say, "cheese" for every shot?


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## boomersgot3 (May 8, 2008)

Thats about it. I will never do a "I can't afford a photographer-will you doit cheaper" wedding again. Invitations included "please bring a dish to pass" LOL! If they can't afford my services they need to find another photographer.


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## Mike_E (May 8, 2008)

Never say never.  :mrgreen:


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## tonyao (May 8, 2008)

omg this thread is shameful, you call yourself a professional Candance? Your actions and comments toward your client is nothing more than pure childish. For whatever reason you have no right to bash where someone lives, maybe they have money problems, but of course if they were like you they could sell stuff all over the internet and not send the product just take the peoples money. Or of course they could post other peoples photography work as their own on the internet to try to help their biz like you did. So consider you actions in the past before bashing someone else.


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## rubbertree (May 8, 2008)

Sounds like a complete nightmare!
I have done a few weddings in the past but no more. Not because of anything horrible happening, I just don't like doing them. I don't like having friends and family assume I'll do it for free or cheap.
Anyway, can you tell us what you learned from this experience and what you would do in the future so that it doesn't happen again? What can you add to a contract to protect yourself against this king of thing?


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## boomersgot3 (May 8, 2008)

I have learned that if they can't afford the photographer's actual prices not to offer your services at a discount. I offered a cd with all images for a really great price. Last time I will do that. Thank goodness my contract covered EVERYTHING. It is what saved me. Make sure it includes a section that states NOTHING is guaranteed. I try my best but I can not guarantee to get you smiling in every image. All in all the images turned out well. Alot of people were very happy with them. I have since done 3 weddings and they have all turned out perfect. Brides loved them!


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## Big Bully (May 15, 2008)

Like you said, it isn't your fault that she wasn't smiling. I mean geez you weren't the one who picked the guy, so how could you make her smile the whole time?! And if she didn't like what she looked like in the pictures, well give her a mask to wear next time. 
And heck at least things worked out for you, it could have been so much worse!


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## boomersgot3 (May 15, 2008)

I so agree!!
Big Bully-I am from Idaho as well. Born in Soda! Love it there!


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## Big Bully (May 16, 2008)

boomersgot3 said:


> I so agree!!
> Big Bully-I am from Idaho as well. Born in Soda! Love it there!


 

Really, I know some people from Soda. I am about 2 1/2 hours away from Soda, I think.:mrgreen:


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## Kiron Kid (May 16, 2008)

Tell her they've already been deleted. No way to retrieve them.


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