# Who wants to help critique my resume?



## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

So my goal is to get into the NFL. and it is not about money to me, it is just something I love doing the most with my photography. I have worked on commercial/product photography and felt I got lucky. worked with a few MMA promoters who did ammy and Pro events. And do major cheer events. and then I have my wedding. but everything comes from knowing someone. How the heck do you get into the NFL with not knowing anyone?

or what about if I wanted to run a business of being the schools photographers for their events and portrait??? I have worked for studios that have done it, but I would love to start that up on my own.

so in any case should I be listing the projects I have worked on? What should I do to make someone say wow?  and etc?.... if someone says I need to step into the newspaper world, I will. Because I am not looking for an answer to landing me a job tomorrow of my dreams. But I am looking for one that can get me there in 5-20 years.

Thanks,
GoldenHourStudios.net


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## Trever1t (Feb 12, 2017)

Not going to write it for you but avoid using redundant words. With With in the first sentences. Also shorten verbage and use more more intellectual terms such as interdependently in place of "alone" and so on and so on.

Nobody reads these things after the first paragraph if their bored to death. Keep it short and concise and stop padding it. 

That's all for your literature lesson today.


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## crzyfotopeeple (Feb 12, 2017)

Yes. It is perfect in every way. Hello NFL! here comes Mashburn!


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## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

Trever1t said:


> Not going to write it for you but avoid using redundant words. With With in the first sentences. Also shorten verbage and use more more intellectual terms such as interdependently in place of "alone" and so on and so on.
> 
> Nobody reads these things after the first paragraph if their bored to death. Keep it short and concise and stop padding it.
> 
> That's all for your literature lesson today.


Lol, yeah I'm not expecting you or anyone to rewrite. More so pointers of anything to add remove in context of jobs, experience, gigs, etc. 

But if you think the only thing is verbiage, than I feel good. And I can hire a personal to word it for me. I am just not going to hire one that would not have an idea on what a job would be looking for in a photographer. 

Thank you

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## Designer (Feb 12, 2017)

I should be the last one on here to emulate, but I do know that you've got some serious issues with the resume that you posted.  My advice is to go to a professional resume writer and pay the money.  

Without going into specifics, I would say that this resume is nothing at all that I would expect one would use to actually get a job with the NFL.  

You've got two pages of stuff, most of which have nothing to do with sports photography.  Do you have a portfolio?  Preferably a portfolio of sports photography.  

Good luck.


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## OGsPhotography (Feb 12, 2017)

Sorrybit is a terrible resume, put some workinto it. You trying to be a vet kr an accountant Indont know its confusing. 

Not editing this


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## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

OGsPhotography said:


> Sorrybit is a terrible resume, put some workinto it. You trying to be a vet kr an accountant Indont know its confusing.
> 
> Not editing this


So remove my work history? And I'm not asking for anyone to edit. Just advice. 

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## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

Designer said:


> I should be the last one on here to emulate, but I do know that you've got some serious issues with the resume that you posted.  My advice is to go to a professional resume writer and pay the money.
> 
> Without going into specifics, I would say that this resume is nothing at all that I would expect one would use to actually get a job with the NFL.
> 
> ...


How does it have nothing with sports? I have Pro/ammy Mma, cheer competitions and etc on there in my profile. Is that what I should be putting down in my experience area?

And my website is my portfolio which is listed at the top left. When you enter my page it has my weddings column, sports column, travel, etc. And all you have to do is click on sports and see what I have done.

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## JonA_CT (Feb 12, 2017)

I'm not sure why people are giving you so much crap for asking for this type of help. I think TPF is a reasonable place for you to test your resume since you are looking for a I didn't think you were asking someone to write it for you by your post.

I work in a completely different industry, but a few things that might be helpful...

1. Find the best writer you know, and sit down with them to edit your resume. You have a lot of language errors that inhibit reading your resume.

2. Delete everything that isn't related to the job you seek, unless you have a really good reason to put it in. You've been a full-time photographer for the last 5 years and you are seeking a full-time photography job. I don't think future employers will care if you used to do accounting or worked at Circuit City.

3. Make it much, much more concise. What are you looking for first, why you are the right person for the job, what your _related_ experience is...

4. I don't know much about photography jobs...but...shouldn't you throw a couple of photos on the resume too? I wouldn't assume someone will go look on the web for your work.


All of that being said...I think you hit the nail on the head earlier. You probably need the right connections, and probably should start spending more time shooting sports. Your resume doesn't read as a sport photographer to me. I think I'd spend as much time at local football games as possible -- high school, college, whatever. There are several people here who do a fair amount of sports photography that might be able to give you some tips on that.


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## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

JonA_CT said:


> I'm not sure why people are giving you so much crap for asking for this type of help. I think TPF is a reasonable place for you to test your resume since you are looking for a I didn't think you were asking someone to write it for you by your post.
> 
> I work in a completely different industry, but a few things that might be helpful...
> 
> ...


Thank you. what you said actually makes me want to read more. LOL. 

as for adding pictures. I was curious as well......... I had one job at a studio, and they actually went to my website. but I just feel I should have something that says here is my book of what pertains to you or something. On my website it is set up in columns, so I think it would help. but still I have no stinking idea. 

Also thank you for reading it in detail. I really appreciate that. 

as for the grammar/language. I will be sending it to a resume place I pay for. There is some great people around me, but I trust a resume person more.


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## OGsPhotography (Feb 12, 2017)

Sorry, re reading it it is even worse to me. 

Get to the point much, much faster. 

Reformat the whole thing!

Header is OK.

Put an objective. " To work for the NFL" would suffice at this point.
 Delete " profile", its called a Cover letter where tou can get a bit specific to the job.

Education- Delete- your sure you want to be a photog?

Skills section, Delete. You are applying for a photography job ALL that is assumed.

Accomplishments- delete- except Photog of the year MMA

First thing I would ask you is what you won gold in " Skils USA". Pretty random info in there.

Whatever that defree is your working in better pertain to the job as well. I'll have to google it I guess.
Omg IT, awesome.

You might as well be applying to be a dishwasher is all Im saying here is a bad resume for the specific job you are looking for.


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## OGsPhotography (Feb 12, 2017)

I checked out your site, you have some talent!

Looking at the foosball photos, out of 50 photos, I see about 6 faces, and some of them pbotos have 10+ people in them... What Im saying is only show your best photos, you may have to many on there.

People want to see faces scoring touchdowns. Or pain or whatever you watch football for Im not sure.

Delete a lot of words off your resume is my advice.

Your email should be .yourdomain name if you want it to look professional.


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## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

OGsPhotography said:


> Sorry, re reading it it is even worse to me.
> 
> Get to the point much, much faster.
> 
> ...



Skills USA, s3 magazine, MMA photographer of the South. Are accomplishments to photography. 

Education. Sure it might not show photography. But it shows education. And associates degrees at that....... This is something everyone looks for. 

So you want me to delete my profile and just put that in the cover letter? Not sure where you are from, but I know in Germany they have a page of a cover letter. But not here in America. Profiles are a very common thing in resumes, and cover letters are way different than across seas. And if you put your goal of where you want to be, you can forget about any other job wanting to hire you. 

As for my work history. It shows a history and not someone sitting on their butt. 

I'm not trying to be rude here. But honestly you seem to know very little about resumes. So cut the trying to be a prick. 

If I was to show up with having only my business on there with things I have done. Zero education. No other job history. And saying my goal is to use them as a stepping stone. I have zero chance of getting an interview. 

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## Mashburn (Feb 12, 2017)

OGsPhotography said:


> I checked out your site, you have some talent!
> 
> Looking at the foosball photos, out of 50 photos, I see about 6 faces, and some of them pbotos have 10+ people in them... What Im saying is only show your best photos, you may have to many on there.
> 
> ...



Reason I have so many 50+ photos in football is so it shows different teams. 2 NFL teams, and then semi pro teams. 

I might add/remove some. To make room of expressions. 

But I'm lost in your comment, "whatever you watch football for". Which leads me to think you are not from here or don't know football. And if you don't, than why are trying to critique my work? I mean I don't know soccer, so I'm not going to put my cents into someone. 

By the way you calling it "foosball". Lol. 

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## OGsPhotography (Feb 12, 2017)

Yeah sorry just trying to inject levity because I was being too negative. Foosball etc... 

Back to the negativity; Im not a big fan of football. I did however watch the superbowl, that was freaking amazing.

I really dislike bad resumes. 

I was doing an interview once and they had as a current employment " Owner of bla bla bla Photography". 
I went straight to that and the whole thin fell apart real quick. They were not applying for a photography job. They were a bit bewildered I wanted to talk photography, if they couldn't handle that, keep it off the resume please! 

People put rediculous things on resumes as filler all the time, and resume READERS see right through it. Dont waste the readers time, which you are doing by pasting words straight off your website.... at least take the time to re write the thing. 

By the way what was your skill award?!?!


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## Designer (Feb 13, 2017)

Mashburn said:


> How does it have nothing with sports?
> 
> 
> Designer said:
> ...


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## Mashburn (Feb 13, 2017)

Designer said:


> Mashburn said:
> 
> 
> > How does it have nothing with sports?
> ...


So I have MMA, Jeep, cheer, football at training camps, highschool events that range from football to volleyball, cheer competitions. 

Where should I be putting those?

And I'm not taking out my job history or education. They may have nothing to do with photography. But it shows I have done something with my life instead of sitting around. 

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## pixmedic (Feb 13, 2017)

I dont know too much about resumes, so i wont be too much help as far as formatting goes....
but for what its worth, if your really serious about the job, and you think that a proper resume_* might*_ make a difference, then I would look around
for a professional "resume builder". might find someone locally, might find an online source. easy enough to email them your current resume and have them tweak it for you. 
couldnt say how much it would cost, but like photography, a "good" resume might just be worth paying for.


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## Designer (Feb 13, 2017)

Mashburn said:


> Where should I be putting those?


If you mean; "where" as in; formatting, you put it where it makes the most sense.  

As you prepare for your visit to the resume writer, I suggest you get your portfolio in order.  Assemble your best sports photographs in a concise, well-organized and presented portfolio that shows you know how to take photographs of football.  

You're exceedingly welcome.


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## Mashburn (Feb 13, 2017)

pixmedic said:


> I dont know too much about resumes, so i wont be too much help as far as formatting goes....
> but for what its worth, if your really serious about the job, and you think that a proper resume_* might*_ make a difference, then I would look around
> for a professional "resume builder". might find someone locally, might find an online source. easy enough to email them your current resume and have them tweak it for you.
> couldnt say how much it would cost, but like photography, a "good" resume might just be worth paying for.


Thanks. They are not much, 125$ for a photographer. 

I will hire one. I was just seeing if anyone here knew if I should have something in an area or not. 

Thank you

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## tirediron (Feb 13, 2017)

I think there have been enough comments made on grammar, formatting, etc.  I'll leave that alone.

First and foremost, what position are you applying for?  What I see is a piece of paper that lists some generic photography experience and that's it...

Moving on:  "Skills" - They don't care about manual settings, white balance or your fancy Elinchrom lights.  Likewise your lenses and printing.  This is utterly irrelevant.  As to "Background"  WTF?  WHO CARES???

The past experience/education is good. 

"Accomplishments"  "Increased yearly revenue"?  For who and why do I care?  "Employee of the month - Circuit City"???  Really?  "Won gold in Skills USA" What skills?  What is this?
"S3 Magazine"?  What? Did you shoot the cover? HOW were you acknowledged for your photography at USFFC?  My Mom said she liked a picture I shot; that's an acknowledgement! 

Start with the position(s) for which you are applying, and then tailor EVERYTHING in the resume and covering letter to that.  As a photographer for the NFL (there can't be more than... oh.. 10,000 people looking for that job) you need to emphasize the skills that go along with that.  You need to be able to think and work independently, problem solve, work calmly under pressure and tight deadlines, and above all have a top-notch portfolio. 

Start by getting some good NFL and college-level shots.  Start with 25 and pare it down to ten.  Have those printed and put into a HIGH QUALITY portfolio.  I would go with 6 game shots and 4 player portraits (all different teams) for the final cut, but that's just me.  FWIW, I saw NOTHING on your website that IMO, would even get you passed the secretary's secretary.  I'm not calling your work down, but you're trying to move into a whole new level, and VERY, VERY few people make it. 

All that said, good luck!


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## Mashburn (Feb 13, 2017)

tirediron said:


> I think there have been enough comments made on grammar, formatting, etc.  I'll leave that alone.
> 
> First and foremost, what position are you applying for?  What I see is a piece of paper that lists some generic photography experience and that's it...
> 
> ...


LOL thanks for laying off the grammar. because that is something a resume builder will be fixing.  I will make it a little more in detail the accomplishments. And change the word acknowledged to "award", because that is what it was. 


as for my portfolio. that is what I plan on doing if I got an interview.


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## tirediron (Feb 13, 2017)

Mashburn said:


> ...as for my portfolio. that is what I plan on doing if I got an interview.


Submit that WITH your resume, or you will never get an interview.  You have to have a hook that grabs them, and if you a job as a photographer, the only good hook is your work.


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## Overread (Feb 13, 2017)

tirediron said:


> Mashburn said:
> 
> 
> > ...as for my portfolio. that is what I plan on doing if I got an interview.
> ...



This - also consider putting together a professional looking website that JUST shows your best in what you're applying for. List that website first and foremost and clearly. You can always put in a second link to your other website that is more general. The idea is that you're showing your results; your photography in the field that they want you for. 

In a creative pitch that's going to be a core part of what they are after from you before anything else. All the rest is important, but unless its a training position; chances are you won't get far unless you can wow them with your photography in 10 shots or so.


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## robbins.photo (Feb 13, 2017)

Ok, so quick tip.  You want an interview?  Realize that it has nothing to do with you, it's all about cya.  Or at least that's how almost every HR department on the planet functions.

So, put this resume down as a reference.  Go and look at the actual ad where they posted what they are looking for in terms of qualifications.

Then write your resume specifically so you can check most if not all of those boxes back to their HR department.  Don't make them guess or infer, they won't.  Make sure your resume speaks specifically to the qualifications they say they want.

That will get you an interview.  The rest is up to you.

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## Designer (Feb 13, 2017)

Mashburn said:


> Reason I have so many 50+ photos in football is so it shows different teams. 2 NFL teams, and then semi pro teams.


One more thought just crossed my mind: Does the NFL actually hire photographers?  I was not aware that there could actually be a job in the NFL as a paid photographer.  If so, then I learned something new.  

And if so, then the existing photographers are the people who are your competition.  Even if the NFL should decide they need to hire one more photographer, you will still have to be that good.  So how good are you?  

My own presumption (based on nothing at all) is that all the photographers we see along the sidelines are freelance photographers, not hired by anybody, let alone the NFL.  

So here's your homework assignment for the week:  

1.  Find out if the NFL actually hires photographers, and how many, and where they work, and how they are paid.

2.  Compare your football photographs with those that have been shot by the pros who are already on the sidelines.  Are yours at least that good or better?  Can you produce that level of work consistently? 

You can turn in your homework at any time this week before Friday at 3:00 pm.  Thanks.


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## Mashburn (Feb 13, 2017)

Overread said:


> tirediron said:
> 
> 
> > Mashburn said:
> ...


Thank you. This is what I needed to hear. 

I have someone working on my resume that I hired. So I'll update the thread later. 


robbins.photo said:


> Ok, so quick tip.  You want an interview?  Realize that it has nothing to do with you, it's all about cya.  Or at least that's how almost every HR department on the planet functions.
> 
> So, put this resume down as a reference.  Go and look at the actual ad where they posted what they are looking for in terms of qualifications.
> 
> ...




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## unpopular (Feb 17, 2017)

Way too wordy. Resume is about talking points, leave the discussion for an interview.

I'm going to be honest here. Your 'skills' section is kind pretty derpy and the print section in particular stands out to me. Everything here reads like 'stuff you heard somewhere'. Do you know why you can print a billboard at lower resolution? And teh web part is just wrong.

The problem is that you don't have space to shoot the sh*t over technical matters on a resume. Just list out your skills.

Your objective/profile/philosophy should be one or two sentences. Just a brief statement. Mine is "To provide the highest quality visual products while incorporating novel solutions into existing workflows." 

That's it. 

Sums up everything about my approach to visual effects. My skills section takes up less space than your profile.


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## snowbear (Feb 17, 2017)

Designer said:


> Does the NFL actually hire photographers?  I was not aware that there could actually be a job in the NFL as a paid photographer.  If so, then I learned something new.
> 
> 1.  Find out if the NFL actually hires photographers, and how many, and where they work, and how they are paid.
> 
> ...


^This.  If they do have staff photographers, are they employed at the corporate level (the "NFL") or at the franchise/individual team level?

As far as resume writing, in general, look at the local community college and see if they have a class or workshop in how to write them.  Sometimes local governments will have job fairs that may include resume writing workshops.


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