# That sounds dirty!



## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

For some time now I've been trying to put together a list of words that are innocent enough...until you need to say them in front of your parents. I know that we all have different things we will say in front of the 'rents, but I think we all know what I mean...I'm not talking about the "F" word or the "S" word, or even the dreaded "N" and "C" words. No, I'm talking about the ones that are NOT dirty, but just sounds dirty.

Here's my opening contributions:

Dick (for Richard)
rectify
***** (as in female dog)
bastard (as in illegitimate child)
chicken breast

What else?


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## terri (Jan 17, 2006)

Private dick.

That's a term that just needs to die!


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 17, 2006)

Wang (as in the computer)
Shag (as in rough cut pipe tobacco)
Thrust (as in jet engine)
Hump (as in bridge)
Frigate (as in sailing ship)
Bang, pork, poke, prod, ram... and so on.


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## KevinR (Jan 17, 2006)

How about standing in front of a classroom talking about penetration on the butt weld. Or different rods will give you better penetration.


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

_Snatch_ (the movie)
horny toads



and let's not forget great sentences like these:

"He really knows how to handle his balls" (when talking about a basketball player)

"She's all wet" (when she's been playing in the rain)

"That's a lot to put in your mouth" (when you're admonishing your piggie friend)

"What a great rack" (when complimenting your friend's billiard setup)


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## aprilraven (Jan 17, 2006)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Wang (as in the computer)
> Shag (as in rough cut pipe tobacco)
> Thrust (as in jet engine)
> Hump (as in bridge)
> ...


 

you have a list????  oh my gosh.....

ok..basketball: he can really take it to the hole....

oh, and a personal one... i can not say the word.. bra.
i spell it every time...b.r.a.   its just less embarrassing...

dont ask... i can cuss you out in a heart beat... and make you crawl on your knees in forgiveness...but never can i say...b.r.a.   :er:


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## Verbal (Jan 17, 2006)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> you have a list????  oh my gosh.....
> 
> ok..basketball: he can really take it to the hole....
> 
> ...



Um...that's just weird.  Even I can say bra.

Then again I turn beat red everytime I walk past Victoria's Secret in the mall...haha


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## aprilraven (Jan 17, 2006)

Verbal said:
			
		

> Um...that's just weird. Even I can say bra.
> 
> Then again I turn beat red everytime I walk past Victoria's Secret in the mall...haha


 
funny... i tend to turn green.... left turn left...:lmao:


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> you have a list???? oh my gosh.....
> 
> ok..basketball: he can really take it to the hole....
> 
> ...


 
I'm the same way with panty, panties, and pantyhose...I hate the words. But I think that it has more to do with my distaste for the letter N, but that's a separate thread...this is the Not Dirty Word Thread...let's try to stay on topic kids.


Bung (as in the hole in a cask)
hoe (as in the garden tool)
scat (as in Ella)
cock (as in rooster)


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## aprilraven (Jan 17, 2006)

yes, cock is so embarrassing.....

i hate that word.


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## Verbal (Jan 17, 2006)

Ha, funny story... Mom was picking me up from class awhile back and I was on my cell phone with a girl    friend of mine... she had helped me the night before with my homework and it totally saved my butt in class that day, so as I was hanging I said "And thanks again for last night!"  Mom slammed on the breaks so hard, it was hilarious!


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 17, 2006)

Let's not forget:
Tits
Winkle
Vibraphone


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

P*ssed (in the british sense of drunk)
abreast (of the situation)
ass (donkey)


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## Fate (Jan 17, 2006)

Have we had ass (as in Jesus bearing transport)?


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Let's not forget:
> Tits
> Winkle
> Vibraphone


 
how does one use tits innocently?


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

one of my juvinile (SP) favs:

duty (business)


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## Verbal (Jan 17, 2006)

jocose said:
			
		

> how does one use tits innocently?



"I spotted a blue tit today with my binoculars"


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

Verbal said:
			
		

> "I spotted a blue tit today with my binoculars"


 
right...or a titmouse, or the Gilbert and Sullivan song "tit-willow"

I wasn't thinking 

Thanks verb.


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## Fate (Jan 17, 2006)

lol... i love some bird names  like:  "the red breasted shag"


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## Verbal (Jan 17, 2006)

Fate said:
			
		

> lol... i love some bird names  like:  "the red breasted shag"



Sounds like some sort of Austin Powers superhero


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## jocose (Jan 17, 2006)

on the menu at Chevy's "Fish Tacos".....:er:



oh, and bust (as in a statue of a head--hehe "head")


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 17, 2006)

Grasp the largest knob firmly and give it a sharp downward tug. Then insert the rod into the top hole and slide all the way in. You may need to apply lubricant if it is a tight fit.

Genuine instructions from an engineering instruction booklet


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## woodsac (Jan 17, 2006)

jocose said:
			
		

> how does one use tits innocently?


That silver Camero is 'tits'. 
= cool :thumbup:


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 17, 2006)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> oh, and a personal one... i can not say the word.. bra.
> i spell it every time...b.r.a.   its just less embarrassing...


Bet you're glad you got that off your chest.


There is only one word in the English language that I find repellant:
gusset.


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## aprilraven (Jan 17, 2006)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Bet you're glad you got that off your chest.
> 
> 
> There is only one word in the English language that I find repellant:
> gusset.


 
ka-wit it... your killing me... i have laughed till i have tears...

( had to go back and read the directions again... printed them out, think i will read them later in the bath...!!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: )


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## markc (Jan 17, 2006)

Father, do words corrupt?
I don't know, son. Let's find out. Agnus... Nipple!
Pshhh.
Apparently not.


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## KevinR (Jan 17, 2006)

And how many people still giggle when someone says Uranus?


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## photo gal (Jan 17, 2006)

suck?


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## JTHphoto (Jan 17, 2006)

caulk, when the "L" is not enunciated - my aunt learned this the hardway when she had a leak in her camper and yelled (very loudly) over the campground to my cousin (her daughter) "HEY, SHEL, CAN I BORROW YOUR HUSBANDS CAUK?" We teased her mercilessly...

i also do not like to say the word "panties"... it just makes me feel icky inside.


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 17, 2006)

KevinR said:
			
		

> And how many people still giggle when someone says Uranus?


I once took a Science class that was looking at the Solar system and one of the students, in total innocence, said:
'Sir? Are there rings around Uranus?'
Without thinking I replied 'I don't know. I've never looked.'


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## ChopstickHero (Jan 17, 2006)

*pianist 

*(depends on how you say it)


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## jocose (Jan 19, 2006)

P*ssycat
P*ssywillow

prick (as in your finger)


There is a company that makes premade food, and the diet program I was on last year got some of their food from there. So, every 4th thursday, my lunch was a Mirkin Burger... OK, so it's spelled wrong, but still...


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## JonMikal (Jan 19, 2006)

****
****
****
****
*****

edit: i guess these are considered bad words, but have other meanings


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## clarinetJWD (Jan 19, 2006)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Let's not forget:
> Tits
> Winkle
> Vibraphone


Sounds oddly like something out of Monty Python


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## jocose (Jan 19, 2006)

JonMikal said:
			
		

> ****
> ****
> ****
> ****
> ...


 
so are ya gonna fix it so we know what words you were thinkin' or were these just *** that you put in to look cool?


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## Corry (Jan 19, 2006)

As far as I know this doesn't really mean anything bad, but I've always thought 'derelict' sounded dirty.


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## Rob (Jan 19, 2006)

Fate said:
			
		

> lol... i love some bird names  like:  "the red breasted shag"



Blue-footed Booby
Baillon's Crake
Cetti's Warbler
Nauman's Thrush

All very rude! :lmao:


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## jocose (Jan 19, 2006)

we all know the joke "liquor in the front, poker in the rear"


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## clarinetJWD (Jan 19, 2006)

jocose said:
			
		

> we all know the joke "liquor in the front, poker in the rear"


:shock:


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## jocose (Jan 19, 2006)

clarinetJWD said:
			
		

> :shock:


 
that's an odd smilie for that joke...you probably meant to use this one:


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## jocose (Jan 19, 2006)

They're replaying the New Horizons launch on NASA TV, and I still have my tv turned on...the announcer (you announcer, you brought her), just said, "We have full thrust!"


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## slickhare (Jan 19, 2006)

where's waldo? (like the book)

e.g. "Me and my girlfriend played Where's Waldo? in bed."


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## Darfion (Jan 25, 2006)

Here is my list of words that sound gross but aren't. Definitions are from either Merriam-Webster Online or the Oxford English Dictionary. Other sources are noted. 




*Beever-time * 

A quartet of an hour's relaxation allowed to the boys in the middle of the afternoon school in summer to give them an opportunity of disposing of beevers, a portion of bread and allowance of beer laid out in Winchester School Hall. 



*Brown Creeper* 
A small, thin, nearly camouflaged bird with white belly, long stiff tail, and thin curved bill. Obvious white line above dark eye. 


*Canonical Erection * 
The rite by which the house of a religious order is sanctified and officially recognized by the [Catholic] Church.  


*Cockhorse * 
1. orig. Apparently a nursery term, applied to anything a child rides astride upon, as a stick with a horse's head, a hobby-horse, any one's leg or knee. Hence ride on a (or a-) cockhorse. 


*Cock-loft* 
A small upper loft; a small apartment under the very ridge of the roof to which the access is usually by a ladder; the room over the garret. 


*Cockmaster * 
One who rears game-cocks  


*Cockwater* 
  1. An obsolete medical preparation: see quot.  

 2. A stream of water brought in a trough, through a long pole, in order to wash out the sand of the tin-ore into the launder, while it is bruising in the coffer of a stamping mill (Chambers Cycl. Supp. 1753). 
                                                                                                       .     

*Dickcissel* 
: a common migratory black-throated finch (Spiza americana) of the central U.S.  


*Dick test * 
: a test to determine susceptibility or immunity to scarlet fever by an injection of scarlet fever toxin  


****got-vote * 
A vote manufactured for party purposes, by the transfer to persons, not otherwise legally qualified, of sufficient property to qualify them as electors. 


****net * 
Some kind of net for fishing. 


****ottist* 
A performer on the bassoon,  bassoonist. 


*Figwort* 
: any of a genus (Scrophularia) of chiefly herbaceous plants of the snapdragon family with leaves having no stipules, an irregular bilabiate corolla, and a 2-celled ovary. 


*Fornical* 
Pertaining to the fornix (an anatomical arch or fold, esp. an arched formation of the brain)  

*Fucus* 
Etymology: Latin, seaweed, archil, dye obtained from archil, from Greek phykos 
1 obsolete : a face paint 
2 [New Latin, genus name, from Latin] : any of a genus (Fucus) of cartilaginous brown algae used in the kelp industry; broadly : any of various brown algae 


*Futtock* 
Etymology: Middle English votek, futtek 
: one of the curved timbers scarfed together to form the lower part of the compound rib of a ship  


*Gay Deceiver* 
Bust pads, usually of foam rubber, inserted into a bra to give a fuller appearance. 


*Gayhole,-holer* 
obs. ff. JAIL, JAILER.  


*Glory-hole* 
A place for rubbish or odds and ends, as a housemaid's cupboard, or a lumber room. 

*Hoar-frost* 
: a covering of minute ice crystals on a cold surface; also : ice particles formed from a gas  

*Hoary* 
1 : gray or white with or as if with age 
2 : extremely old : ANCIENT <hoary legends> 
- hoar·i·ness noun  


*Nestcock* 
One that never was away from home; a fondling or wanton. 


*Nude Contract* 
 Without consideration given, where no action can arise. 


*Nympholepsy* 
 A frenzy occasioned by seeing one of the nymphs; from Greek lambano, I take. 


*Phagomania* 
Rarely used term for a morbid desire to eat.  


*Pusillanimous* 
Lacking courage and resolution : marked by contemptible timidity. 

******van* 
A flurry, temper. Also in the form pussivent. 


*****tim* 
1. (More fully ****tim wood.) The wood of the ****tah-tree, acacia wood. 
  Sometimes erroneously used for ****TAH tree.  

*****ticism* 
A scatological figure of speech  


*Shuttlecock* 
: a lightweight conical object with a rounded often rubber-covered nose that is used in badminton  


*Spooning* 
Spooning, in rowing, is dipping the oars so little in the water as merely to skim the surface. The resistance being very small, much water is thrown up and more disturbed. 


*Slut-grate* 
Grating through the hearth in which the ashes fall, leaving the cinders. 


*Special bastard* 
A child born of parents before marriage, the parties afterwards intermarrying. 


*Titi * 
 An evergreen shrub or tree  


*Tit-warbler* 
A bird of the subfamily Parinae (Swainson) 



*Trophoblast* 
: a thin layer of ectoderm that forms the wall of many mammalian blastulas and functions in the nutrition and implantation of the embryo 

*Ulva* 
A seaweed of the genus Ulva, which includes sea lettuce, U. lactuca 


*Vagile* 
Of an organism or group of organisms: having the ability to disperse or be dispersed in a given environment. Hence vagility (also fig.). 


*Vomitory* 
 A door of a large building by which the crowd is let out. 


*White-Breasted Nuthatch* 
Slate gray bird with white belly and black cap and neck. Long thin bill slightly upturned. Chestnut colored under tail. 


*Wind****er * 
1.) Name for the kestrel [species of Hawk]. 
2.) fig. as a term of opprobrium. 


*Woodcock * 
Inflected Form(s): plural woodcocks 
1 or plural woodcock : a widespread Old World woodland bird (Scolopax rusticola) that is related to the sandpipers and snipes; also : a smaller related game bird (Scolopax minor syn. Philohela minor) of eastern No. America 
2 [from the ease with which the woodcock is snared] archaic : SIMPLETON  


*Woonkers* 
Interjection expressive of wonderment or surprise.


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## Darfion (Jan 25, 2006)

Obviously some of the words are not allowed here so you'll just have to guess.
You know things like ***, **** etc


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## Corry (Jan 25, 2006)

There is actually already a thread just like this, Darf.  Very recent, too..I'll have to look it up and merge this with it.


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## anicole (Jan 25, 2006)

It was Jocose's thread ...


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## Darfion (Jan 25, 2006)

Right. i'd wondered where it had gone


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## jocose (Jan 27, 2006)

my buddy at work (who has an account here, but doesn't seem to hang out) told me this one:

He was smoking a cigarette and flicked the ashes too hard.  Without thinking he said, loudly, "Damnit, I just lost my cherry."


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## jocose (Jul 12, 2006)

I love going back and looking at old threads.  Here's one of my personal favs that I thought I'd try to breathe new life into.

I never posted this one:

Cous Cous, as in the grain.  In Arabic, Cous thranslates into the dreaded English "C" word.  Used together, it's a harmless side dish.


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## jocose (Jul 12, 2006)

How could I forget this one:

There is a bar on the boardwalk at Ocean City Maryland called Big Peckers.  Their logo is a big ole rooster.

Their adds are always a bit on the perverted side.  My personal fav was when they were building a new bar at the top of the boardwalk.  The billboard advertizing the new store:

Come Check out our Erection​


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## mentos_007 (Jul 12, 2006)

jocose said:
			
		

> How could I forget this one:
> 
> There is a bar on the boardwalk at Ocean City Maryland called Big Peckers.  Their logo is a big ole rooster.
> 
> ...



the guy who came up with this must have earned a fortune!! :lmao:


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## jocose (Jul 12, 2006)

all this talk of bars makes me think of...


head = beer foam


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## Corry (Jul 12, 2006)

Nothing you've said in this thread surprises me at all.  JoCose, you're such a perv!  

(don't ever change  )


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## jocose (Jul 12, 2006)

I knew a guy with the last name Hickey.  That one wasn't easy to say to the parents either.


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## jocose (Jul 12, 2006)

Hey, you Brits.... do you get all uncomfortable when you hear us Yanks talk about putting on our fanny packs?


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## Reverend (Jul 12, 2006)

Dictate - hey baby, how'd my dictate?

Rectum - I had two cadillacs, but my ol'lady rectum.

Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs and the hotel everybody.

Pen!s - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said pen!s.

Horde - My sister got in trouble because she horde around in school.

Tripoli - I was going to buy my ol'lady a bra for her birthday, but I couldn't find a Tripoli.


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## zedin (Jul 12, 2006)

From an automotive show I saw when flipping through channels where they were replacing the rear differential.

"Make sure you lubricate the rod well before placing it in the rear."  They were greasing up the axle rod before putting it in the differential.  Me and my roommate looked at each other and could not stop laughing.


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## Corry (Jul 12, 2006)

zedin said:
			
		

> From an automotive show I saw when flipping through channels where they were replacing the rear differential.
> 
> "Make sure you lubricate the rod well before placing it in the rear."  They were greasing up the axle rod before putting it in the differential.  Me and my roommate looked at each other and could not stop laughing.



 Yeah, I work for my step-dad's construction company...I know I've heard some things that sound dirty in construction....as soon as I think of em I'll post em.  Automotive terminology is another one that seems to have a lot.


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## jocose (Jul 12, 2006)

so does working in gay strip clubs....I mean, um, yea....cars, manly cars, muscle cars.....


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## Corry (Jul 12, 2006)

jocose said:
			
		

> so does working in gay strip clubs....I mean, um, yea....cars, manly cars, muscle cars.....



  You are definitely meeting up with us again when I'm no the East Coast next!   You're too much fun to miss!


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## jocose (Jul 30, 2006)

I can't believe that I forgot ejaculate, as in the following sentence:

He ejaculated a resounding guffaw from deep within his belly.


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## duncanp (Jul 30, 2006)

Jocose, long time no see!


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## Corry (Jul 30, 2006)

Hehe...ok...admitting my immaturity here...but there's a casino comercial that plays rather often here....and I giggle everytime it talks about having the 'loosest slots in town'.


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## jocose (Aug 2, 2006)

core_17 said:
			
		

> Hehe...ok...admitting my immaturity here...but there's a casino comercial that plays rather often here....and I giggle everytime it talks about having the 'loosest slots in town'.




Yea, I would giggle too.  On the same thought, I've always had a problem with the word "chit," and "blood chit" is even worse.


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## Torus34 (Aug 2, 2006)

From the world of mathematics: asymptote and latus rectum.


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## jocose (Aug 2, 2006)

Extra Virgin Olive Oil...I always feel so guilty deflowering my oil.


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