# what would your response be to this email



## katerolla (Jan 5, 2013)

How would you replay to this email, a very small wedding 

"Thanks very much for your reply. Unfortunately we are on a very tight budget so we have since asked a friend to photograph our day, but we really appreciate you taking the time to get back to us."

I just think it's a lot of pressure to put on a friend and will the quality be what they expect from their wedding photos?


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## unpopular (Jan 5, 2013)

c'est la vie.


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## Buckster (Jan 5, 2013)

I'm trying to care, but it ain't working.  Sorry.


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## bratkinson (Jan 5, 2013)

I suspect you weren't invited, either.

Apparently, whatever 'the friend' produces, they'll have to live with it.


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## Awiserbud (Jan 5, 2013)

I don't think you do reply to it, leave it where it is and hope they made the right decision. The bottom line is..wedding photography is not as important to some people as it is to others.


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## amolitor (Jan 5, 2013)

If you're a professional, you should reply with something like 'I understand, thanks for taking the time to let me know. Best wishes for your special day, may it be all you wished for!'

In the first place, it's the nice thing to do. In the second place, it positions you as the professional, so that if the friend DOES screw it up utterly, their wedding photography story will be "we should have hired that nice <so and so> after all!" and maybe you even get a little re-shoot gig if they want something good.

ETA: Whatever you do, do NOT try to pressure them into changing their mind back to paying you to shoot it. That's a bottom-feeder move, it probably won't work, if it does work it's 50/50 that won't stick anyways, and it's going to leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth.


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## Helen B (Jan 5, 2013)

I would reply and express my best wishes for a long and happy life together, and add how refreshing it is to see that there is at least one couple in the world who have a sane and sensible approach to wedding expenses, and who don't feel they have to follow the herd.


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## o hey tyler (Jan 5, 2013)

Helen B said:
			
		

> and add how refreshing it is to see that there is at least one couple in the world who have a sane and sensible approach to wedding expenses, and who don't feel they have to follow the herd.



OP, as a wedding photographer myself... I would suggest that you not say this. The first part of Helen's post is fine, but I do not under any circumstances believe that you should minimize or downplay the profession you chose for a reason. That makes you look like a fool, and says to the client that you have a lack of faith in what you do. 

Think about this, you're a stone layer for a landscaping company. A client tells you, "Oh Jeeze, we're tight on money. Thankfully our 13 year old nephew loves to dig up rocks in the backyard... So he will be laying the stone." Then you respond with "Well I am glad someone has a sensible approach to landscaping expenses." Which roughly translates to "Your 13 year old cousin will provide work of the same caliber as I would, but for no money," in the minds of your client.

Something along the lines of what Amolitor said would be best IMO.


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## Helen B (Jan 5, 2013)

Why do you see being realistic as downplaying the profession? They can't justify the cost of hiring you.

oh, and the landscaping analogy should be more like "we can't afford that, so a much simpler solution will provide what is important to us"


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## o hey tyler (Jan 5, 2013)

Helen B said:
			
		

> Why do you see being realistic as downplaying the profession? They can't justify the cost of hiring you.



Because that's what you are doing, is downplaying your profession. Showing a sign of doubt in your business is bad especially in the eyes of a client. I know I'd be scratching my head if someone who i was about to pay $1000s of dollars said that to me. 

They can't afford to hire you, so you wish them well and tell them to enjoy their day. Don't overtalk them by saying "Good thing you took the free route. It's not sensible to hire a wedding photographer." It's unnecessary and makes you look like a dolt IMO.


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## Helen B (Jan 5, 2013)

It isn't sensible to hire a wedding photographer if you can't afford one. That has nothing to do with the profession. It is simple realism.


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## EIngerson (Jan 5, 2013)

So you only shoot the people that "follow the herd"?


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## SCraig (Jan 5, 2013)

Helen B said:


> Why do you see being realistic as downplaying the profession? They can't justify the cost of hiring you.
> 
> oh, and the landscaping analogy should be more like "we can't afford that, so a much simpler solution will provide what is important to us"



I tend to agree with Helen.  I think a more appropriate analogy would be to walk into a car dealership and try to purchase the most expensive vehicle on the lot for the price of the least expensive.  The dealer may back down on his price some, the purchase may come up somewhat, but odds are they are never going to meet in the middle.  It isn't necessarily an indication that the dealership overprices their vehicles, only that the price was never agreed on.


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## o hey tyler (Jan 5, 2013)

Helen B said:
			
		

> It isn't sensible to hire a wedding photographer if you can't afford one. That has nothing to do with the profession. It is simple realism.



Yes, I am not disagreeing with you on that front. It's a bad move to overtalk a client with unnecessary words that hint that your profession isn't as important as the once thought. It's not going to gain you any traction, and it sure as heck won't get you any referrals.


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## Ray12 (Jan 5, 2013)

It IS a lot of pressure to put on a friend...it means they have to be "ON" and constantly thinking and moving and anticipating all day...and if they were to provide good coverage... they would have to abandon their spouse and almost not have time for dinner!  Sometimes uncle charlie doesnt have a second battery, his single memory card gets filled up way too fast, and he over enjoys tipping a few at the bar.  Its risky for the couple to trust full day coverage to a friend.

But this should be little reflection on you...or your skill...or dedication.  We all got hurt early on... feeling rejected with our first few customers...till we learned not to take it personal.  We learned eventually through these rejections to be a better seasoned professional...to stiffen up...and to use the rejection and pain to teach ourselves how to market stronger, how to pre-qualify our customers better, and how to close a sales pitch better.

I really put a lot of attention and care into wedding photography too...and I provide a great service...but not everybody is ready. People really ARE cutting back these days unfortunately.   I have to learn to say thank you...and how to motivate myself to press on to the next customer even smarter.   Use the rejection to strengthen yourself...take some of that energy and design yourself a better brochure, break into social media contacts, make a commitment to really go to a marketing seminar, or figure out how to make 10 more contacts this week than you did last week.

Feel the pain only briefly, shake it off,  dont let it trigger any personal self worth issues, then move on briskly to make the next new contact!!    Its a "number of contacts" game sometimes...you have to get through 6 more rejections first... till you hit that next hot sale.  Some people think that landing 20% of the jobs you solicit is a really, really good number!!

I like and support amolitor's response...send a very nice response...be graceful...some people get future referrals from replys like that.

Cheers


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## Railphotog (Jan 5, 2013)

Many years ago when I did part time wedding photography, two acquaintances who inquired about me doing their weddings came back and said they were going to have a friend or relative do the photography instead.  I never thought much about it until I ran into them some time later (separately), and both said the wished they had hired me, as their photographers screwed up the photos.  Guess they got what they paid for!


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## Mully (Jan 5, 2013)

You can not win at everything so just be gracious and wish them well because they may recommend you to someone else that has the budget.


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## 480sparky (Jan 5, 2013)

Two things you DO NOT want to respond with:

_"Your 'friend' is *not* a professional.... *I* am!  You must hire me!"_

And

_"You'll be sooooorrrryyyyy!"_



Bow out, but with grace, courtesy and professionalism.


"Dear ________,

I wish to express my appreciation for you considering me as your primary wedding photographer.  Many of the things we have discussed about your Special Day sound fun and exciting.  I fully understand that budgets play a huge role in today's weddings.  I wish you a very happy and wondrous day, and hope the memories will last forever.  Should you ever need my services in the future, I'll be happy to help.

Sincerely, ______ _____________"



Then move on to greener pastures.

Now, count your blessings as you don't have to worry about collecting from a customer who can't pay you.


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## rlemert (Jan 5, 2013)

Helen B said:


> ... and add how refreshing it is to see that there is at least one couple in the world who have a sane and sensible approach to wedding expenses, and who don't feel they have to follow the herd.



  While I agree that adding this to your response would be tacky and unprofessional, the sentiment it reflects is very valid. Not all of us think our wedding should be some grand fairy-tale event that needs to cost thousands of dollars.

  My wife and I got married in the county courthouse. There were six guests present - my wife's mother and grandmother, and two couples we knew from school. The only photo from the event that I remember is the one my mother-in-law took, and that's mostly because she has it framed at her house. We still have our memories of the event, though, even without any pictures. And we've been married 33 years.


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## pixmedic (Jan 5, 2013)

ah yes...fond memories. 
we recently had this exact thing happen with a co-worker of mine. we offered to do her wedding at a very discounted rate since I worked with her, met with her about it, and in the end she decided to go with a "friend with a camera".
we thanked her for her consideration, and said she could call us anytime she needed photography work done. 
her "friends" pictures turned out horrible. WB way off, underexposed, and a LOT of OOF. I never said anything to my coworker about her pictures. there just isn't any point in it. theres nothing I feel i could say that would not seem like I was rubbing her nose in it. so I just let it ride, and hope the next time she needs pictures done she will call.


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## jhodges10 (Jan 5, 2013)

I'd do the bow out graciously thing then tell them about TPF so heir friend can get some good tips. The friend is bound to come across some of the "for god's sake you'll ruin your friends wedding" threads that are abundant here. Maybe it'll scare the friend straight and you'll get the job after all.


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## Buckster (Jan 5, 2013)

Luckily, we don't even have to consider the possibility that the friend is a decent photographer who will do as well or better than anyone here.  We can obviously make that concrete conclusion even without seeing their work or knowing anything about them.  It just could NEVER happen that they're anything but a Best Buy noob without a clue.


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## amolitor (Jan 5, 2013)

Buckster said:


> Luckily, we don't even have to consider the possibility that the friend is a decent photographer who will do as well or better than anyone here.  We can obviously make that concrete conclusion even without seeing their work or knowing anything about them.  It just could NEVER happen that they're anything but a Best Buy noob without a clue.



The main question is whether this knowledge, received from a higher power we all agree, was engraved on tablets of GOLD, or on tablets of DIAMOND, and over that question much blood must be shed.


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## Robin_Usagani (Jan 5, 2013)

We are missing the backstory.  Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.


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## o hey tyler (Jan 5, 2013)

Robin_Usagani said:
			
		

> We are missing the backstory.  Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.



Atomic facepalm.


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## unpopular (Jan 5, 2013)

I didn't have or want a photographer at my wedding. We pretty much did this, only everyone had cameras. We not only couldn't afford it, really, the only photographer I trusted was booked.

So yeah, it's not important to everyone; some other person might have been disappointed, but settled for someone else. For us, it was "meh, oh well, I don't want to deal with anyone else, we just won't have a photographer." Don't sweat it, if you feel compelled to respond it's likely because your feelers got hurt. It doesn't make any difference to you the drama this person might create by assigning a family member the roll of "chief photographer", or the poor quality they may (but may not) receive in the end. It's not your wedding.

I think one thing you can do is figure out some way to market to these people. Obviously there is a demand as we're hearing more and more of this sort of thing.


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## Robin_Usagani (Jan 5, 2013)

Why is that?  If i have to guess, OP probably responded to an ad looking for CHEAP wedding photography.  Cheap is a relative term.  OP probably gave them a good deal but it is still too expensive. Some people just dont value wedding photography as much as some people.  You cant change their mind.  



o hey tyler said:


> Robin_Usagani said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## o hey tyler (Jan 5, 2013)

Robin_Usagani said:
			
		

> Why is that?  If i have to guess, OP probably responded to an ad looking for CHEAP wedding photography.  Cheap is a relative term.  OP probably gave them a good deal but it is still too expensive. Some people just dont value wedding photography as much as some people.  You cant change their mind.



She's not looking to change their mind, she's wondering how to respond. Backstory is irrelevant and has no bearing on how you respond to a client. It doesn't matter if it was a $500 wedding deal or a $4000 wedding deal. You're reading way too far into this. Maybe if you're lucky, the OP might give you her full life story and dossier though... If you're that interested in the backstory. ;-)


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## dmunsie (Jan 5, 2013)

I disagree about not saying something to let her know she is probably making a mistake. But the written words to do so, that's the hard part. Perhaps a soft nudge added to the Sparky's post would be appropriate? 

"Dear ________,

I wish to express my appreciation for you considering me as your primary wedding photographer. Many of the things we have discussed about your Special Day sound fun and exciting. I fully understand that budgets play a huge role in today's weddings. I wish you a very happy and wondrous day, and hope the memories and especially the resulting photographs, will last a lifetime. Should you ever need my services in the future, I'll be happy to help.

Sincerely, ______ _____________"


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## gsgary (Jan 5, 2013)

Forget about the loosers


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## katerolla (Jan 5, 2013)

Robin_Usagani said:


> We are missing the backstory. Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.



I think my questions is (as already said by Robin_Usaagani) I have already sent a replay stating my price. The question is how do I replay to their first email to ensure a booking, was my first replay what make them consider their friend instead of me or was the price the decision?



pixmedic said:


> ah yes...fond memories.
> we recently had this exact thing happen with a co-worker of mine. we offered to do her wedding at a very discounted rate since I worked with her, met with her about it, and in the end she decided to go with a "friend with a camera".
> we thanked her for her consideration, and said she could call us anytime she needed photography work done.
> her "friends" pictures turned out horrible. WB way off, underexposed, and a LOT of OOF. I never said anything to my coworker about her pictures. there just isn't any point in it. theres nothing I feel i could say that would not seem like I was rubbing her nose in it. so I just let it ride, and hope the next time she needs pictures done she will call.


 
I remember reading this and yes I have had this happen to me a few times and it didn&#8217;t bother me I&#8217;m just wondering if it was my first replay to the email

MY FIRST REPLAY
&#8220;thank you for your enquiry and congratulations on your wedding day, yes I&#8217;m available on this day and would love to shoot your special day for you. A small wedding 2 to 4 hours is $500 all photos provided on a DVD.
This coverage includes the bride as she is getting ready (1hour) ceremony and family and friends after the ceremony (1hour) and location photos as many as time allows&#8221; 

Kind Regards
Kate
Business name
www.businessname.com 

am I missing something?


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## pixmedic (Jan 5, 2013)

katerolla said:


> Robin_Usagani said:
> 
> 
> > We are missing the backstory. Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.
> ...



nope. it was a very professional response. 
sometimes people have friends that are also photographers. sometimes it is just a matter of budget. 
sometimes it works out well. sometimes...not so much. 
either way, as frustrating as it can be losing business to someone cheaper, or free, or whatever the reason,  the best thing you can do is answer with a polite and professional response. Good reputations are tough to build, but easy to mess up.


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## Mully (Jan 5, 2013)

Is that dead horse back for another beating ?????


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## Robin_Usagani (Jan 5, 2013)

I paid for a pro and my wedding photos were so bad. I should have asked a friend.


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## pixmedic (Jan 5, 2013)

Robin_Usagani said:


> I paid for a pro and my wedding photos were so bad. I should have asked a friend.



eh...ive seen worse from "pros"  :mrgreen:


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## katerolla (Jan 5, 2013)

Thanks every one, just a few weeks ago I was booking every enquiry but in the last two to three weeks I'm not booking any not sure if it's the holidays or maybe my replays are lacking some thing


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## unpopular (Jan 5, 2013)

Might be the holiday. When is the traditional "wedding season"? Here it's early summer/late spring. Perhaps it's too late into the hot season? What's your climate like? People now will be booking late for weddings in february and march. You have to ask yourself, how many people would want to be out in a tuxedo and satin dress when it's 102°F?

Perhaps a few weeks ago all the "go to guys" were booked up when you were doing well, but with less work and less overflow they're taking your business.


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## Steve5D (Jan 5, 2013)

katerolla said:


> How would you replay to this email, a very small wedding
> 
> "Thanks very much for your reply. Unfortunately we are on a very tight budget so we have since asked a friend to photograph our day, but we really appreciate you taking the time to get back to us."
> 
> I just think it's a lot of pressure to put on a friend and will the quality be what they expect from their wedding photos?



"Thank you for letting me know that you've secured another resource for your special day. Congratulations and good luck and good luck to you!"

There's not a single reason to address anything else. Wish them well and move on...


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## Ray12 (Jan 5, 2013)

There are some pretty interesting trends on when sales are Hot and when they are Not.  

Most brides I think want to get married before Christmas so they can celebrate with their husbands and still have their guests be in the mood to spend money on them...but near Christmas and after Christmas...I see photography sales drop off hard.  My other businesses still go on after Christmas some...but wedding work really goes dead for a few weeks!  Sorry...have to pay off my credit card indulgences!  Things come back some in Feb when brides are planning that spring, summer or fall wedding and the bridal shows get them all excited.  By March...things are getting frantic with late planners realizing their hall, band, and photographer might be booked.  But between Dec 20 and Jan 15th I can almost take a vacation from booking events it seems.


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## andywag (Jan 6, 2013)

katerolla said:


> How would you replay to this email, a very small wedding
> 
> "Thanks very much for your reply. Unfortunately we are on a very tight budget so we have since asked a friend to photograph our day, but we really appreciate you taking the time to get back to us."
> 
> I just think it's a lot of pressure to put on a friend and will the quality be what they expect from their wedding photos?



Why reply. You don't have the gig and certainly no reason whatsoever to comment on their choice of photographer.


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## manaheim (Jan 6, 2013)

What Amolitor said... the professional world is no place for you to make or communicate your judgments on other people's choices.


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## Robin_Usagani (Jan 6, 2013)

I usually tell my potential clients to make sure when they hire someone (me or someone else) to do a pre wedding/engagement session.  That way they can get a little taste of the photographer.  I actually just booked one wedding.  They told me they learned their lesson trying to go cheap after they see their engagement photos. 

Yes, you can get lucky and get good photos going cheap or have a friend does it for you but the odd is against you.


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## flow (Jan 6, 2013)

"Thank you for considering me" and "If you need photographs for any occasions in the future I would love to be involved" should cover it. No need to give an opinion on anything else - just thanking them for the time, and for not leaving you hanging. I didn't pay for our wedding photos, and never considered it, and don't regret it. But if I had asked around and someone had implied I was making the "wrong choice" I would have been offended. I certainly would not go back to (or recommend) that person for some other job, no matter what the budget might be later.


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