# Plans for world domination unveiled!



## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

I think it is time to make this secret public ... the worst (im)posters of the forum. 


1. LaFoto *22,907*







2. Corry *18,738*






3. terri *15,866*






4. BigMike *11,964*






5. Hertz van Rental *10,779*






6. Antarctican *10,160  *






7. Alison *9,436 *






8. mentos_007 *9,282 *






9. danalec99 *8,362 *






10. lostprophet *8,100 *


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## zendianah (Nov 9, 2007)

do they get a prize?


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

zendianah said:


> do they get a prize?



only those beyond 10,000 can answer this ...


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## zendianah (Nov 9, 2007)

nice ! Im surprised you did not say anyone beyond 1000 can post... Oh wait thats Antys line. She'll be chiming in really soon and tell me SILENCE... less than 1000 poster.


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## lostprophet (Nov 9, 2007)

well I may be in last place on that list but lets be honest for a moment, my posts are the only ones that are

A. worth looking at
B. with Otters

proof positive


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## LaFoto (Nov 9, 2007)

Well, from the realm of the more-than-twenty-thousand posts posters (where I am the QUEEN!  ... without subjects... ) I can tell you that there are NO PRICES in there, whatsoever. Only ...
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lonliness...


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## zendianah (Nov 9, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> well I may be in last place on that list but lets be honest for a moment, my posts are the only ones that are
> 
> A. worth looking at
> B. with Otters
> ...


 

LP 
When I see your posts. I think Otter sandwiches... :hugs:


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## lostprophet (Nov 9, 2007)

zendianah said:


> LP
> When I see your posts. I think Otter sandwiches... :hugs:



You are one sick sick little monkey :greenpbl:  but I will take that hug :hugs:


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## terri (Nov 9, 2007)

At one time in TPF lore, *I* was the lead poster. In fact, Chase and the others watched with interest as I neared the 10K mark, wondering if I would implode - or the application. 

No such luck. :mrgreen:

Once I hit that landmark, I was quickly overtaken by Corry and LaFoto - and LaFoto reached the 20K landmark first, and is now considered unstoppable.


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## (Ghastly) Krueger (Nov 9, 2007)

Just to add statistics... Posts per day:

LaFoto        16.64
Corry          13.65
Terri            10.38
BigMike        8.41
HvR              9.84
Anty           15.22
Alison           7.63
mentos_007  7.56
danalec99     6.27
LP              12.72


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

I myself am approaching the top 10 ---


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

slowly


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

but


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

steadily


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)




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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

LaFoto said:


> Well, from the realm of the more-than-twenty-thousand posts posters (where I am the QUEEN!  ... without subjects... ) I can tell you that there are NO PRICES in there, whatsoever. Only ...
> .....................................
> lonliness...



I am sure someone would reset your counter if asked to


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> I am sure someone would reset your counter if asked to



What makes you think it hasn't been?
Your _real_ post count is actually only 432 but we added some so you wouldn't cry.
Your hope of attaining a position in the top 10 is, however, illusory no matter what ploy you try.
We are the Overlords - the Supreme Beings of TPF who control the destinies of pathetic posters like yourself and one day when our plan of WORLD DOMINATION comes to fruition YOU WILL ALL LEARN THE TRUTH AND SUFFER!!
Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....














...or maybe we do it 'cause there is nothing on cable.


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> YOU WILL ALL LEARN THE TRUTH AND SUFFER!!



I do know the truth already .. that is why I start to fight now!

I will become the overlord of SPAM ... and you will all shiver in fear...



> ...or maybe we do it 'cause there is nothing on cable.



That however, is a totally acceptable excuse.





And I know it all too well, this poor TV programme, after all I cannot leave the house


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> I will become the overlord of SPAM ... and you will all shiver in fear...



Dream on!
Ask those who were here about my first two months - or trawl the archives.
Anytime you want a lesson in spamming just ask. :mrgreen:


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## Alex_B (Nov 9, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Dream on!
> Ask those who were here about my first two months - or trawl the archives.
> Anytime you want a lesson in spamming just ask. :mrgreen:



There is always a master ... and his apprentice


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## nossie (Nov 9, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> You are one sick sick little monkey :greenpbl: but I will take that hug :hugs:


 
Did someone say monkey?


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## Antarctican (Nov 9, 2007)

zendianah said:


> nice ! Im surprised you did not say anyone beyond 1000 can post... Oh wait thats Antys line. She'll be chiming in really soon and tell me SILENCE... less than 1000 poster.


 *SILENCE,* *less than 1000 poster!!!!!!!* That is two warnings you've now been given. Tread carefully, my pretty (and your little dog too. Waaaaahahahahhaha! 




).



Hertz van Rental said:


> ...or maybe we do it 'cause there is nothing on cable.









(Ghastly) Krueger said:


> Just to add statistics... Posts per day:
> 
> LaFoto 16.64
> Corry 13.65
> ...


Wooooooot, I'm number two!!!!! 



 
(Wait, that doesn't sound right)


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

....or maybe it does....



(Oh, and nossie? Learn the difference between 'monkey' and 'ape'  )


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## Antarctican (Nov 9, 2007)

:raisedbrow:  Watchit, mister. Your days as the fifth top poster are numbered. Soon, I'll be pleading the fifth.....


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

You want me to post 2,000 in a month?
Just say the word.


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

OH MY GOD!!!
EVERYONE STOP POSTING!!

Ah! You have. Good.
I've just done some research along with some calculations (involving strange Satanic rites with virgins*) and I have discovered that vBulletin has a hidden defect. If 100 members of one forum all reach 10,000 posts then critical mass is achieved. Whereupon the forum implodes, creating a worm hole and we are all sucked off...
Hmm. As you were. Post away.


*I do relax and have fun sometimes you know.


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## Antarctican (Nov 9, 2007)

:shock: (Wanna reword that at all???  Or add another *?)


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## Tangerini (Nov 9, 2007)

<--- my new favorite smiley.  


But I do have to point out that Anty got it from a place called 'lovingmysailor.com'


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## memento (Nov 9, 2007)




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## memento (Nov 9, 2007)




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## memento (Nov 9, 2007)




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## Antarctican (Nov 9, 2007)

Tangerini said:


> <--- my new favorite smiley. But I do have to point out that Anty got it from a place called 'lovinmysailor.com'


Heehee, funny site name, eh? (It's a support forum for wives/girlfriends of navy personnel. I have rellies who fall into that category. And by the way, there's no 'g' in the site name.)


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

lov_in_mysailor?

Oh God! I'm haemorrhaging 


The only thing they could have called it that would have been worse would be : rum, bum and concertina


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## Antarctican (Nov 9, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> lov_in_mysailor?
> Oh God! I'm haemorrhaging


Better than prolapsing, I reckon


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Better than prolapsing, I reckon



:er: Isn't this how most sailors get a discharge?


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## Antarctican (Nov 9, 2007)

:stun: I don't believe you just said that!!!


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

Who else would if not me?


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## kundalini (Nov 9, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> *SILENCE,* *less than 1000 poster!!!!!!!*




<-------  I will twy to say this vewy, vewy quietwy.  less than a thousand asking permission to speak in this vewy, vewy important discussion.



zendianah said:


> ... Oh wait thats Antys line. *She'll *be chiming in really soon and tell me SILENCE... less than 1000 poster.


 
Although I live and breathe in a natural and quite comfortable, but  nonetheless, perpetual state of confusion, all those jabs about highheels, handbags and the amount of blush to be applied aimed at Anty were for real? Corry was spot on determining I was slow.

With all the repartee on offer by Anty on so many different fronts, I am absolutely beside myself and at the same time find an overwhelming amount of respect...(no, no, that won't do)...admiration...(no, still too much)...appreciation...(yeah, that'll work for now)...for the continuing candor.

Hats off for being a number two
(wait, that doesn't sound right)

Apologies for the internal dialogue going on.  A contributary factor to the state of confusion.



Hertz van Rental said:


> ....We are the Overlords - the Supreme Beings of TPF who control the destinies of pathetic posters like yourself and one day when our plan of WORLD DOMINATION comes to fruition YOU WILL ALL LEARN THE TRUTH AND SUFFER!!
> Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha........


 
Go on, do us your worst.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
On second thought, may I retract that last statement, p-p-please, sir?


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## Mainiac (Nov 9, 2007)

Come on less than 1,000 posters!! Let us join together to overthrow the opressive rule of the of the so called "top posters"!! Divided we are weak but together we will create an unstoppable force to bring down the overlords! Who is with me?!?!?!?!

















(man I seriously need to get back on my medication)


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 9, 2007)

No-one, it would appear.


And I've just put itching powder in your underpants.


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## BoblyBill (Nov 10, 2007)

You don't scare me HvR... I have a secret alley in the top 10. They will no doubt keep me safe from the rest of you. Muah hahahaha!


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)

There are no secrets between the Sacred Ten.
We're just getting your hopes up before we crush you.


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## Antarctican (Nov 10, 2007)

kundalini said:


> Although I live and breathe in a natural and quite comfortable, but nonetheless, perpetual state of confusion, all those jabs about highheels, handbags and the amount of blush to be applied aimed at Anty were for real? Corry was spot on determining I was slow.


 (Temporary permission to speak is granted, kundalini.)

(You are indeed living in the land of confusion...those jabs were aimed at Alex_B and Chris of Arabia, not me :er:.)


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## Chris of Arabia (Nov 10, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> (Temporary permission to speak is granted, kundalini.)
> 
> (You are indeed living in the land of confusion...those jabs were aimed at Alex_B and Chris of Arabia, not me :er:.)


 
Very true, if it had been aimed at Anti, we'd have been talking macintoshes, hob-nail boots and Brylcream


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)




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## Antarctican (Nov 10, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> I myself am approaching the top 10 ---


(On your knees, backwards, and bowing and scraping I presume??)


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## Antarctican (Nov 10, 2007)

Chris of Arabia said:


> Very true, if it had been aimed at Anti, we'd have been talking macintoshes, hob-nail boots and Brylcream


:er:

And inability to ask for directions, remember birthdays and anniversaries, refrain from emitting noxious gases, (need I go on?)


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## Alex_B (Nov 10, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> (On your knees, backwards, and bowing and scraping I presume??)



If you ever compared my number of posts per day with your number of posts per day, then you would see that you are doomed! It may take a while, but you cannot escape!


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## Antarctican (Nov 10, 2007)

^^^ Oh dear, I see what you mean! But I need only bide my time 'til you go wandering off in the mountains somewhere and I'll regain my rightful place.


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## Alex_B (Nov 10, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> ^^^ Oh dear, I see what you mean! But I need only bide my time 'til you go wandering off in the mountains somewhere and I'll regain my rightful place.



I can always pay the little gnomes to post under my name while I am away ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)

I do believe I averaged 36 posts a day at one time. I think there is a thread in the archives where someone comments about it. 
And that was when certain times there was just me on here


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## Alex_B (Nov 10, 2007)

36?

it is very hard to reach that number now, since I do post for many moons now


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)

Quitter! And there was you claiming to be the King of Spam.


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## Alex_B (Nov 10, 2007)

it is quality which counts, not quantity


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)

Well you've struck out on two counts there. Your only hope is to take your clothes off and go for the sympathy vote.


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## Chris of Arabia (Nov 10, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Well you've struck out on two counts there. Your only hope is to take your clothes off and go for the sympathy vote.



I tried that, I got more sympathy than I'd been counting on.... :er:


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## Alex_B (Nov 10, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Your only hope is to take your clothes off



OK, just done that!

Now I'm waiting for the votes ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)

You have my sympathy.


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## Antarctican (Nov 10, 2007)

Oh my, I thought it was your plans for world domination you were unveiling, Alex, not _that!_


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## ScottS (Nov 10, 2007)

Jeez this is going to turn into a thread like "no work association" or "ban the person in front of you" with a billion post.... 

here we go.


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 10, 2007)

ScottS said:


> Jeez this is going to turn into a thread like "no work association" or "ban the person in front of you" with a billion post....
> 
> here we go.



With any luck.


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## kundalini (Nov 10, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> (Temporary permission to speak is granted, kundalini.)
> 
> (You are indeed living in the land of confusion...those jabs were aimed at Alex_B and Chris of Arabia, not me :er:.)


 

I'll just sit quietly in the corner for now, if it's not too much bother.


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## Alex_B (Nov 10, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Oh my, I thought it was your plans for world domination you were unveiling, Alex, not _that!_




_that_ is my plan for world domination


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

_Whirled_ domination?


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> _Whirled_ domination?



That conjures up an image which is making me nauseous - and I keep thinking about hogs...


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## TATTRAT (Nov 11, 2007)

World Domination?






...not impressed.


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> That conjures up an image which is making me nauseous - and I keep thinking about hogs...


 
"When pigs fly", you mean?


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Nnnno... but it's a preferable thought.


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## ferny (Nov 11, 2007)

This forum really has gone downhill since I dropped out of the top 6 posters, hasn't it.


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

(Silly me, I know flying makes you nauseous, so I figured that _had_ to be what you were thinking about  )


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

We are all so predictable ...


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Not _that_ predictable. When I suggested you and Chris drop trou, _you_ didn't. But when Hertz suggested it....

[I'm not casting aspersions, I'm just relating the facts.]


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

Well, you do not really know if I did not drop them when you asked for it .. I just did not post any image of it


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

"Good point"


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

All my points are good ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Your things are pointed? That must be a worry.


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

It only hurts the first time ...


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

It's okay, he aims to please when pressing his point.


(Edit...yikes, you two, get a room)


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

That sounds suspiciously like masturbation.


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

If I was trying to please people, I would have friends I suppose


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Not if your thing is pointed. Normal people would give you a lot of room.


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## Chris of Arabia (Nov 11, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Not if your thing is pointed. Normal people would give you a lot of room.


As well as require you to be fitted with one of those buzzers they put on a fork lift truck


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Or have a cork stuck on the end.


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

(You know, of course, that many vintners now use, well, rubber as corks/stoppers?)


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> (You know, of course, that many vintners now use, well, rubber as corks/stoppers?)



well, this is actually not true.

there is no shortage of cork ... the opposite is the case, since rubber found its way into global mass wine production, less cork is needed and the price drops. This even leads to cork woods not being profitable enough anymore, and hence they start to disappear. Which is a shame since these days they host lots of rare fauna.


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## duncanp (Nov 11, 2007)

when i started out 30 ppd ftw but i havent posted in like 6 months...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Did you know that cork is technically a hardwood?


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Given its springy properties, no, I didn't known that. Hardwood is good.* 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			












(*very pretty in the fall when it turns colours)


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## Chris of Arabia (Nov 11, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Did you know that cork is technically a hardwood?


Yes I did. Corks are made from the bark of a type of oak I believe - not actually the wood itself.


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

A hardwood is defined as any tree that loses it's leaves in the Winter.
Which means Balsa wood is also a hardwood.


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## zendianah (Nov 11, 2007)

Mainiac said:


> Come on less than 1,000 posters!! Let us join together to overthrow the opressive rule of the of the so called "top posters"!! Divided we are weak but together we will create an unstoppable force to bring down the overlords! Who is with me?!?!?!?!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Sorry .. I'm late!! I'll help you againts the pesky high posters !  I must have been sleeping .


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Pffft, that ship has sailed. The uprising has been quelled and the ringleaders now serve as our slaves (*Peel me another grape will you, Sven?*)


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Yeah. We're having an intellectual discussion about the properties of wood.


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Specifically hardwood. Although talk of rubber corks came up...given the definition of hardwood, I guess a rubbertree would be a softwood?  And, well, what's the use in that?


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

what did i start here ...


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Oh, like you had noooOOoooo idea this thread might be picked up and carried on its merry way for meilen und meilen.


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> I guess a rubbertree would be a softwood?



Apparently losing foliage is optional for tropical woods. Having broad leaves is sufficient so Rubber trees are hardwoods. The timber is used in top end furniture. It has tight grain, doesn't shrink much and is easy to work.
It's also seen as environmentally friendly as when the tree has come to the end of it's latex production it can be sold for timber and the ground replanted.


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

I forgot that it just needs some keywords and a thread is picked up


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

And of the many posted so far, which ones do you identify as 'key'?


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

I do not share all my secrets you know


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

That usually translates as: I don't have a clue but I'm taking the credit.


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

that is a cheap trick HvR ... but me not stoopid!

Woha, the thread goes into round 3 ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 11, 2007)

We'll stop at round 5


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

but just for a break ...


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

ok, I guess now it is time for a good old Balvenie port wood finish (21y)


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## kundalini (Nov 11, 2007)

Would you like a cuppa, dear?

If you're not having a descent Brandy with a superb port, what shall we think?


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

well, The Balvenie is a single malt whisky, which spent some time in old port casks ... not the port itself


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## Tangerini (Nov 11, 2007)

Hmm... at this very moment I hear the tequila bottle singing my name...


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## Antarctican (Nov 11, 2007)

Meanwhile I'm hearing wine-ing


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## Alex_B (Nov 11, 2007)

lots of noisy alcohol around here


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 12, 2007)

That's because you leave it lying around too long. It should be painlessly destroyed as quickly as possible.


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## Alex_B (Nov 12, 2007)

I'm a slow drinker ...


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## Antarctican (Nov 12, 2007)

Sloe....gin?


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## Alex_B (Nov 12, 2007)

HArHar


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## Antarctican (Nov 12, 2007)




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## Alex_B (Nov 12, 2007)

you've got a good dentist!


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## Antarctican (Nov 12, 2007)

And I've had orthodonture


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## Alex_B (Nov 12, 2007)

this is a smiley world ...


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## Alex_B (Nov 14, 2007)

huh, it is not dead, is it?


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## Antarctican (Nov 14, 2007)

It _has _been a bit quiet lately. I know I've been away from a computer a lot in the last week. (So how the heck has my daily average number of posts managed to go _up_ to 15.34??  May not sound that high, but given how many days I've been a member here, that's not bad)


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## Alex_B (Nov 14, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> (So how the heck has my daily average number of posts managed to go up to 15.33??)



It was pulled up by the gravity of my average daily post count


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## Antarctican (Nov 14, 2007)

Yikes, are you saying you have your own gravitational pull? Sounds like a euphemism for 'it's time to go on a diet'.


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## Alex_B (Nov 14, 2007)

banned for now even mentioning my slight mass problem!


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## Alex_B (Nov 14, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> banned for now even mentioning my slight mass problem!



oopps , wrong thread


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## Antarctican (Nov 14, 2007)

I'm allowed....I started a new 'diet' Saturday, so food is topmost on my mind.  Sigh. (*pass the freaking celery please*)


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## Alex_B (Nov 14, 2007)

I will have a giant European style pizza tonight ... if that helps


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## Antarctican (Nov 14, 2007)




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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

All this thread has done is make me hungry...


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## Chris of Arabia (Nov 15, 2007)

Thankfully it's morning here, so it's been the home made muesli for me - pizza is not a good idea at all...


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## Antarctican (Nov 15, 2007)

(*pass the stupid oatmeal*)


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

porridge is good for you


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## Antarctican (Nov 15, 2007)

Is it lunchtime yet? (Dang, not even 10 a.m.) How am I supposed to plot world domination when all I can 'envision' right now is food? But hey ho, best take my mind off it by posting up a storm and overtaking Alex in the daily post count.  (Oops, did I say that out loud? Never mind)


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

does it mean I am your only reason why you post on this forum?


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## Antarctican (Nov 15, 2007)

Don't mean to burst your bubble, but no. (That said, always fun to trade posts with you! And I'm up to 15.38, so ya better watch your back)


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

i don't waste my time on objects in the rear mirror ... they just disappear too quickly


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## Antarctican (Nov 15, 2007)

Oh, never ever make the mistake of underestimating me!!!!!!


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 15, 2007)

It's almost as bad as making the mistake of _over_estimating her


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## Antarctican (Nov 15, 2007)

:er:


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 15, 2007)

:smileys:


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

ok, so it is best not to estimate her at all


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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

Estimation is never an exact science! I vote for cheese!


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> Estimation is never an exact science!



So you suggest I should _measure _her instead?



> I vote for cheese!



Stilton ice cream ... yummy!


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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> So you suggest I should _measure _her instead?




Yes. I suggest you measure her in cheese...

And excuse me? Did you say "Blue Stilton Ice Cream"????

That is the craziest thing i've ever heard!!


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> Yes. I suggest you measure her in cheese...



Hmm, interesting idea 



> And excuse me? Did you say "Blue Stilton Ice Cream"????
> 
> That is the craziest thing i've ever heard!!



Well, it is one of the craziest things I've ever tasted ... but it is great!
Had it in a small countryside pub in South Devon.


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## Antarctican (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> Yes. I suggest you measure her in cheese...


 


Alex_B said:


> Hmm, interesting idea


Sounds gouda to me too!


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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

I think i'd be seriously concerned about their cookery ethics  I haven't been to devon in ages! I'm not sure i'd drive for 5 hours just for blue stilton iced cream though...guess im stuck with raspberry ripple iced cream and a lump of mild cheese...I can't see myself putting them in a blender anytime soon...I might measure my kitchen with the cheese though...


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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Sounds gouda to me too!



Well!! I'll bE DAMed!!:meh:


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> Well!! I'll bE DAMed!!:meh:



gosh.. that was more a scientist's type of creativity ...


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> I think i'd be seriously concerned about their cookery ethics  I haven't been to devon in ages!




That ice cream is worth even longer drives ... oh, and that pub is easy to reach, just off the A30 .. you can still hear the cars


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Sounds gouda to me too!



any preference which cheese I should use?


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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> any preference which cheese I should use?



Brie!

I love Brie.


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## (Ghastly) Krueger (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> And excuse me? Did you say "Blue Stilton Ice Cream"????
> 
> That is the craziest thing i've ever heard!!


 
There's also the chocolate-blue cheese truffles and other desserts. (There was a program in, IIRC, the Discovery Channel, explaining the science behind the combination an why it doesn't taste like puke, I'll try to dig something about that up)


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## Lisa B (Nov 15, 2007)

(Ghastly) Krueger said:


> There's also the chocolate-blue cheese truffles and other desserts. (There was a program in, IIRC, the Discovery Channel, explaining the science behind the combination an why it doesn't taste like puke, I'll try to dig something about that up)



Please do! Im intrigued.


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## (Ghastly) Krueger (Nov 15, 2007)

Lisa B said:


> Please do! Im intrigued.


 
Can't find the exact reference, but I found something similar here.


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## Alex_B (Nov 15, 2007)

by the way: stilton ice cream: 

http://www.stiltoncheese.com/news.cfm?y=y&startRow=0&page_id=1290

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/4527928.stm


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 16, 2007)

This thread is just so cheesy...


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## Alex_B (Nov 16, 2007)

would you prefer banana&cheese?


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 16, 2007)

Would you like me to throw up over you?


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## Alex_B (Nov 16, 2007)

no, thank you.

But I know some people I would like you to throw up over! Any chance? I'll PM their address


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 17, 2007)

Only if they are about 2 feet away as I can't projectile.
That means transatlantic is right out. I'll have to put it in a box with instructions and post it.


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## Alex_B (Nov 17, 2007)

It would be only trans-channel!

Oh, and in some cases, it would be just right at your doorstep


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 17, 2007)

If you're not careful it'll be coming through your letter box


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## Alex_B (Nov 17, 2007)

a disgusting thought!

My letterbox has a little window on the rear side, so it would be like a sort of aquarium view ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 17, 2007)

I'll make sure I stock up on peas and carrots.


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## Alex_B (Nov 17, 2007)

ugh ... I'm just about to have dinner ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 17, 2007)

If I swallow some live goldfish first you could have a _real_ (if very unusual) aquarium.
It could give a whole new meaning to tuna chunks...


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## Antarctican (Nov 17, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> If I swallow some live goldfish first you could have a _real_ (if very unusual) aquarium.


 Another sushi reference? :raisedbrow:


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 18, 2007)

No.


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## Antarctican (Nov 18, 2007)

Oh, sorry.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

I can smell fish


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## ferny (Nov 18, 2007)

I think it's time you had a shower then. If the smell still remains seek the assistance of a doctor. He may have some cream you can use.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

ok, will try the shower now. but do you think the goldfish will survive the shower?


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## ferny (Nov 18, 2007)

I don't think it will have a problem with being in water.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

I am more concerned about the drain later!

oh, and I do not use pure water ...


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## Antarctican (Nov 18, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> oh, and I do not use pure water ...


Ummm, I'm hoping you just mean you use soap......
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	






Oh, and, lock the door will ya?


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Ummm, I'm hoping you just mean you use soap......


 
soap and stuff .. yeh.



> Oh, and, lock the door will ya?



never! always hoping some nice lady might come in


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 18, 2007)

Nice lady? I hope you don't mean your mother.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Nice lady? I hope you don't mean your mother.



certainly _not_!


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 19, 2007)

And I presume you'd prefer her not to be carrying a knife.


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## ferny (Nov 19, 2007)

What's wrong with your mum? I think she's nice.


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## Antarctican (Nov 20, 2007)

Are you calling him a son-of-a-Bates?

(Hmmm, that's ringing a bell.  )


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 20, 2007)

I'm keeping mum.


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## Antarctican (Nov 20, 2007)

In a rocking chair in the attic? In a false wall? In the freezer? What?


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## zendianah (Nov 20, 2007)

Norman....... : Mother, she's just a stranger. She's hungry, and it's raining out!


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## zendianah (Nov 20, 2007)

Mother, she's just a stranger"! As if men don't desire strangers! As if... ohh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things, because they disgust me! You understand, boy? Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food... or my son! Or do I have tell her because you don't have the guts! Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?


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## Tangerini (Nov 20, 2007)

from cheese to fish to mothers harboring knives? :lmao:


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## zendianah (Nov 20, 2007)

Tangerini said:


> from cheese to fish to mothers harboring knives? :lmao:


 

2 funny!


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 20, 2007)

But a boy's best friend is his mother...


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## Antarctican (Nov 20, 2007)

The boy needs better friends!


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## Tangerini (Nov 20, 2007)

^^ especially if his mom wields a knife


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## zendianah (Nov 20, 2007)

and sounds like this..

"NOrmmmaann its your mother"


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## lostprophet (Nov 20, 2007)

MR GRIMSDALE!!


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## zendianah (Nov 20, 2007)

Mr Grimsdale looks like his mother is his ONLY friend


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 21, 2007)

That's Norman Wisdom, silly.

And at this point I can reveal that my mother's maiden name was Bates. Which is probably why I once had a job as a shower salesman...


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## zendianah (Nov 21, 2007)

oops. ! ^ Thanks


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## Antarctican (Nov 21, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> And at this point I can reveal that my mother's maiden name was Bates.







 I don't even have to say it...you all know what I'm thinking at this point. (Good thing she took her married name, eh?)


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## lostprophet (Nov 21, 2007)

son of Bates?


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## Antarctican (Nov 21, 2007)

Ya gotta say it faster...._son-of-a-Bates. _


But no, that wasn't the word


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 21, 2007)

That from a Canuk called 'Gene'* 





* Just the one, dear?


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## Antarctican (Nov 21, 2007)

Sounds to me like the base of the word 'genius'....


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## Tangerini (Nov 21, 2007)

The Jean Genie... or possibly Jean Genet?


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 21, 2007)

:hail:


It's a Bowie smilie! *fnurk*


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## lostprophet (Nov 22, 2007)

I just want to point out that I'm now in 9th place :greenpbl:



Alex_B said:


> I think it is time to make this secret public ... the worst (im)posters of the forum.
> 
> 
> 1. LaFoto *22,907*
> ...


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## Alex_B (Nov 22, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> I just want to point out that I'm now in 9th place :greenpbl:



you are indeed. And I moved up from 13 to 12 ... 11 soon to come!


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## LaFoto (Nov 22, 2007)

You should all always aim for the WINNING place! 
You might (just MIGHT) see yourself confronted with some fierce competition, though.


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## Alex_B (Nov 22, 2007)

why should I aim for the impossible ...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 22, 2007)

Quitter!


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## Alex_B (Nov 22, 2007)

But I might get past you HvR!


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## Antarctican (Nov 22, 2007)

Ya gotta get past ME first, fella. And that ain't gonna happen. (And Hertz, watch your back...I'm comin' up fast 





)


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## lostprophet (Nov 22, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> (And Hertz, watch your back...I'm comin' up fast
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I bet that's what all the girls say to HvR


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## Alex_B (Nov 22, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> ...I'm comin' up fast
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Spare us those intimate details


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## Antarctican (Nov 22, 2007)

Oh, you _guuuuuys_! Get yer minds outta the gutter


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 22, 2007)

I'd be happy if they just got their hands out of their pockets.


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## Antarctican (Nov 22, 2007)

Well _I'm _not gonna shake their hands!!


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Well I'm not gonna shake their *hands*!!



Uhm, what else then??


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## Antarctican (Nov 23, 2007)

At this point I'm just gonna shake my head and back away slooooowly.


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> Uhm, what else then??


 

Oh no she didn't... !  Thats soem funny Shiznit Anti.


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

I am shocked by what people in this thread have in their mind!!!


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Ok.. you started.. !! I am also shocked. 

tee he. In my most evilest lauph possible,,,,


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> I just want to point out that I'm now in 9th place :greenpbl:


 
and the #9 SPAMMER of the forum is LP... 

woohooo... 

You also get a gold plated MAGLITE and some cute heels .


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> I am shocked by what people in this thread have in their mind!!!



No more shocked than we are by what you have in your hand.


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> No more shocked than we are by what you have in your hand.


 

shall we pass a tissue? Lotion maybe?


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 23, 2007)

zendianah said:


> shall we pass a tissue? Lotion maybe?



I'll leave it up to you. You've probably had more experience with this sort of thing


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> I'll leave it up to you. You've probably had more experience with this sort of thing


 





I hope you have java so you can see my smilie mooning you !


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 23, 2007)

I do hope that's not your arse. If it is you have a bad case of jaundice.


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

I do ! Its a terrible thing...


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

I do not know what you are talking about .. I am just too innocent for this!


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> I do not know what you are talking about .. I am just too innocent for this!


 
innocent?


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

is that you????


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 23, 2007)

True to type.


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

you caught me ! I'm am pretending to be a girl named Dianah but in reality I am Paris Hilton. I am typing behind bars.,


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

I like bars .. you get booze there


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

I saw Paris just 1 hour ago.


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## Antarctican (Nov 23, 2007)

Name dropper! (And I know you meant the place, not the person/twit)


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Name dropper! (And I know you meant the place, not the person/twit)


 
I agree... He is a twit !


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Name dropper! (And I know you meant the place, not the person/twit)



oh, I was referring not to the place


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

You saw Paris Hilton or your friend named Paris? .. Namedropper


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

zendianah said:


> I agree... He is a twit !



Hey, *Anty *was *not *referring to me here!


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

zendianah said:


> You saw Paris Hilton or your friend named Paris? .. Namedropper



I saw Paris Hilton, last time a bit more than one hour ago. Maybe I will see her tomorrow again.


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

did you take a picture ?


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> Hey, *Anty *was *not *referring to me here!


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

zendianah said:


> did you take a picture ?



no, she was too close to me, could not focus ...


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

actually, she is advertising this Prosecco in cans thing at the moment ...


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> no, she was too close to me, could not focus ...


 
shut up...!!  did you grab and kiss her? Just for fun? since you were that close.. why not.


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

... and so I can see her everyday on that life-size cardboard body portrait of her holding the cans ... in my local shop 

just stumbled into that when shopping for wine


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> ... and so I can see her everyday on that life-size cardboard body portrait of her holding the cans ... in my local shop


 
or the life size blow up doll in your bedroom...


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

zendianah said:


> or the life size blow up doll in your bedroom...



no, anything life size and inflatable in my bedroom is shaped like the local fauna


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## zendianah (Nov 23, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> no, anything life size and inflatable in my bedroom is shaped like the local fauna


 

When you say fauna.. Do you mean goddess of fertilty?


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

zendianah said:


> When you say fauna.. Do you mean goddess of fertilty?



no, just plain animals, sheep are good for example.


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## Antarctican (Nov 23, 2007)




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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

guess I spent too much time in Wales :lmao:


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## Alex_B (Nov 23, 2007)

LaFoto         Cheerful Corinna =D 23,220               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Corry         Site Moderator 18,814               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




terri         a rush hour soul 15,938               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Big Mike         I am Big, I am Mike 12,074               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Hertz van Rental         TPF Junkie! 11,091               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Antarctican         Used to be SnowWhite, but I drifted 10,658               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Alison         Swiss Army Friend 9,436               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




mentos_007         The Freshmaker! 9,286               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




lostprophet         A Placebo in human form 8,428               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




danalec99         + 8,362               
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Alex_B         TPF Junkie! 7,694


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 24, 2007)

I can now reveal that, whilst everyone else was otherwise occupied (probably watching oyster porn), my plans for total world domination came to fruition.
I now command the World!!! Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...etc.

Although I am in command I must confess that I am not in control (look, it takes me all my time to keep control of my bodily functions. Controlling anything else is right out), which is why the world is in a teensie bit of a mess at the moment.
So don't come snivelling to me if things ain't working out.
You're on your own.
Every man for himself.
But I call it 'free will' because it sounds better.


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## Antarctican (Nov 24, 2007)

There there Hertz, don't get yourself excited. You've been off your meds for too long. Let these nice men help you to put on this nice shirt-with-the-long-sleeves-that-tie-in-the-back.


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## Luminosity (Nov 24, 2007)

Hertz van Rental said:


> Dream on!
> Ask those who were here about my first two months - or trawl the archives.
> Anytime you want a lesson in spamming just ask. :mrgreen:



Ahh, the good ol days


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 25, 2007)

Luminosity said:


> Ahh, the good ol days



I think I wore my typing fingers out :bounce:


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