# Date idea... need advice?



## footballfan993 (Jun 1, 2016)

So I have a date with an ex-coworker of mine tomorrow, and Here's what I have planned so far:

Well I was thinking that she would come over around 12 and then we would go for a walk in a local park, (weather permitting) and I was thinking of bringing my camera and taking pictures on our walk of her and us and the things we see.

Next we would head back to my place where I will have cooked dinner.
we would have  Pão de queijo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Pao do Quejio as an appetizer, then for dinner we would have http://www.authenticbraziliancuisine.blogspot.com/2010/02/rice-and-beans-of-brazilian-food.html Rice and Beans with pico de gallo, then for dessert we would have Brigadeiro - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Brigadeiros  and to drink we will have href="Guaraná Antarctica - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia a Brazilian soda Guarana  If she doesn't seem to like the food, I will have a back up of pasta or something. Also while we are eating, I was thinking of listening to some light, quiet music.

After that I was thinking we could watch a movie, I was thinking "The Theory of Everything" (It's the one about Stephen Hawking) and then we could go stargazing afterwards, (or we could do any combination of these activities like only watching a movie and then leaving or only stargazing) and then call it a night.

What are your thoughts on this? Thanks!


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## jcdeboever (Jun 1, 2016)

Sounds like a plan. I've got nothing... 

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## Designer (Jun 1, 2016)

It's been a while for me, but it seems like entrapment to me.

Leave your camera.  Walk to SOMEPLACE, not just a walk in the park.

Stop for an appetizer at a local pub.

Go to a restaurant, don't cook.  (yet)

Movie is o.k., but at a regular movie house, not your house.

Walk her home.

You can talk about your hobby of photography, but leave the photography for some other time.


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## limr (Jun 1, 2016)

That's a very long day. How well do you already know each other? Does she know you enough to feel comfortable going to your apartment rather than a restaurant? I know I'd be a little wary of that on a first date. Why the all-Brazilian menu? Not that there's anything wrong with the food, but it seems a little overkill unless there's a reason for it.

I'm sorry, but it seems a bit forced and a little too controlling.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 1, 2016)

footballfan993 said:


> So I have a date with an ex-coworker of mine tomorrow, and Here's what I have planned so far:
> 
> Well I was thinking that she would come over around 12 and then we would go for a walk in a local park, (weather permitting) and I was thinking of bringing my camera and taking pictures on our walk of her and us and the things we see.
> 
> ...



I guess it sort of depends on what your ultimate goal here is, if romance is your intent I'm not sure if I'd recommend a movie featuring Steven Hawking.  I'd be thinking more chic flick of some sort.  Could just be me of course.


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## 407370 (Jun 1, 2016)

Sounds to me like you are going to bore her to death. Leave the camera at home and use your phone for pics.
Noon date sounds like an opportunity to binge watch season 2 of Daredevil / all the Freddy Kruger movies / Breaking Bad etc. 
Dont serve food you dont know she will like. Make your own burgers with a bit of spice (or get someone else to do it if you are not a cook) and serve with beer and she will love it.


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## limr (Jun 1, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> I guess it sort of depends on what your ultimate goal here is, if romance is your intent I'm not sure if I'd recommend a movie featuring Steven Hawking.  I'd be thinking more chic flick of some sort.  Could just be me of course.





407370 said:


> Sounds to me like you are going to bore her to death. Leave the camera at home and use your phone for pics.
> Noon date sounds like an opportunity to binge watch season 2 of Daredevil / all the Freddy Kruger movies / Breaking Bad etc.
> *Dont serve food you dont know she will like*. Make your own burgers with a bit of spice (or get someone else to do it if you are not a cook) and serve with beer and she will love it.



You give that advice and then go on to say she'll love burgers and beer?

You're both making heavy assumptions about what movie or food she will like. And that's my problem with the OP's date plan as well.

How much of this was planned because of conversations with her in which she has expressed interest in Brazilian food, or photography, or star-gazing? Or how much of it is planned because it "seems" romantic and what a woman wants?

The biggest mistakes are made by assuming. If you're unsure? Simple. ASK HER.


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## Overread (Jun 1, 2016)

limr said:


> ASK HER.



That's my thinking. We can't really guess if she'll like or hate anything proposed as we have no idea who this person is. Your best bet is to have a chat with her; plan out the day somewhat and go from there. If you're not going to have time to chat between now and then keep your mind open and have space in the day to let her make a choice. By all means make offers and suggestions but be ready to change and go with the flow.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 1, 2016)

limr said:


> You're both making heavy assumptions about what movie or food she will like. And that's my problem with the OP's date plan as well.
> 
> How much of this was planned because of conversations with her in which she has expressed interest in Brazilian food, or photography, or star-gazing? Or how much of it is planned because it "seems" romantic and what a woman wants?
> 
> The biggest mistakes are made by assuming. If you're unsure? Simple. ASK HER.



Not so much really.  I like Steven Hawking.  I think the guy is probably the smartest guy on the planet.  I cannot for the life of me imagine being able to watch a movie featuring him and then feeling amorous at the end.  The stargazing thing.. ok, sure.  2 hours of Steve explaining the nature of the universe?  Ya.. sorry, no, not romantic.


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## limr (Jun 1, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > You're both making heavy assumptions about what movie or food she will like. And that's my problem with the OP's date plan as well.
> ...



I'm not saying that a Steven Hawking movie would make someone amorous. What I'm saying is that a chick flick might also not do the trick because maybe she's a woman who hates chick flicks. Plus, I'm not really fond of the idea that the whole purpose of the movie is to make the woman feel "amorous." It's a FIRST date. It should be about getting to know each other, not getting lucky.

(And just speaking personally, I'd be more likely to feel romantic towards someone if they appeal to my intellectual side, so yes, a documentary or Stephen Hawking movie just might work better than a chick flick for me. If someone showed me one of the gajillion Meg-Ryan-gets-the-guy film from the 90s, I'm more likely to be annoyed that he thinks I'm a stereotype instead of a real, actual person.)


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## footballfan993 (Jun 1, 2016)

Ok, so here's my reasons.

I planned everything regarding this, because she told me that she would like to be surprised. So I don't think I will tell her anything, until she gets here.

the reason for the walk, is just because it's be something to do, and we can talk while we walk, and we might see some deer, chipmunk, or other wildlife. 

The choice for the Brazilian food was in part, because I am half Brazilian, and I want her to experience food that she most likely would not have experienced otherwise.

The movie choice "The Theory of Everything" isn't a movie featuring Steven Hawking, it is a movie *about* Steven Hawking and his relationship with his wife, so it is romantic.

I also picked stargazing, because it's something that I haven't really done before, but it would be cool to just lay in  the grass looking up at the wonder above us.


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## Dave442 (Jun 1, 2016)

I also would not go all out on the Brazilian cuisine on a first date. One Brazilian dish on the side would be better. The pão de queijo is of course excellent for any time of day, but I would go to a place that sells these warm and ready to eat along with something to drink after a walk in the park. For dinner I would also opt for the restaurant at this stage. 

I would leave the camera at home, threes a crowd. If she is like my wife she will just have you taking pictures at her nephews birthday party next week, and that is probably her only interest in your camera. She probably takes excellent pictures with her cell phone; and tell her they are excellent. 

If your going home together to watch a movie then I don't think you can really plan that, and what you watch will depend a lot on how the day went. I don't think something about Stephen Hawking would be high on my list, maybe he goes better with pão de queijo and a hand mixed caipirinha.


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## footballfan993 (Jun 1, 2016)

Furthermore, I have known her for about a year now, and she and another ex-coworker came over for a thanksgiving meal that I prepared for them.

Also the purpose of this date is not for me to "get lucky". That's never my purpose on a date, especially the first one. I am a huge romantic person, and I love doing romantic gestures towards the person that I like.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 1, 2016)

limr said:


> I'm not saying that a Steven Hawking movie would make someone amorous. What I'm saying is that a chick flick might also not do the trick because maybe she's a woman who hates chick flicks. Plus, I'm not really fond of the idea that the whole purpose of the movie is to make the woman feel "amorous." It's a FIRST date. It should be about getting to know each other, not getting lucky.



Ok, well now who's making huge assumptions?  Lol.  Seriously though, "getting lucky" wouldn't be my goal on a first date, in fact if she was the sort that I could get lucky with on the first date she wouldn't be the sort I'd want to be dating.

However he did specify that they knew each other previously and had at least some sort of acquaintance, so my goal would be to make sure that she realized I was interested in not staying in the "friend" zone.  His goal might be different, I don't know.  But even if that isn't the goal, lets face it, I wouldn't even ask an astronomer to sit through Steven Hawking for 2 hours on a date.  

Yes, it is entirely possible she hates chic flicks.  Haven't met a lot of women who do, so playing the percentages odds are good she probably won't.  Honestly I've never been a big fan of a "movie" for a first date anyway, I prefer situations that encourage more conversation.  Movies are more for the, ok were comfortable with each other already stage of dating as far as I'm concerned.  But hey, could just be me.  Plus I haven't dated since... umm... the late 90's?  So ya, some of this might be a bit musty as far as advice is concerned.


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## astroNikon (Jun 1, 2016)

Oddly, I never knew Stephen Hawking was married.

but dates are those .. they vary dependent upon the 2 people.
At least he didn't mention setting up his strobes in the bedroom ...


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## limr (Jun 1, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Yes, it is entirely possible she hates chic flicks.  Haven't met a lot of women who do, so playing the percentages odds are good she probably won't.  Honestly I've never been a big fan of a "movie" for a first date anyway, I prefer situations that encourage more conversation.  Movies are more for the, ok were comfortable with each other already stage of dating as far as I'm concerned.  But hey, could just be me.  Plus I haven't dated since... umm... the late 90's?  So ya, some of this might be a bit musty as far as advice is concerned.



As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.

Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.


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## gsgary (Jun 1, 2016)

There won't be a second date, Go for a walk out in the country and just go with the flow and stop at a local pub for a pint and pub lunch, don't plan anything

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## gsgary (Jun 1, 2016)

footballfan993 said:


> Ok, so here's my reasons.
> 
> I planned everything regarding this, because she told me that she would like to be surprised. So I don't think I will tell her anything, until she gets here.
> 
> ...


She will be gone by the time you want to stargaze, I'm falling asleep reading what you have planed

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## robbins.photo (Jun 1, 2016)

limr said:


> As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.
> 
> Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.



I always preferred to go and do something other than a movie for first date.  Mini golf, as one example - Sounds stupid, yes, but highly effective on a first date actually, you'd be surprised how fun it can be to watch a fully grown adult man completely confounded by a windmill.  Fantastic conversation starter.. lol


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## terri (Jun 1, 2016)

Well, I will be different.  I think the whole thing sounds charming.   Since she's been over to your place before,  knows you like to cook, and knows your family's ethnicity, the menu seems appropriate.  I think it's thoughtful to have a backup menu if she really doesn't care for it. 

The walk, the whole easygoing idea of snapping some pics while in the park, is laid back and nothing that two friends couldn't do, so there's no pressure. 

I think the movie choice is a good one,  too.  Much better than mindless car explosions, machine guns or a fluffy romance. 

After that, though, I might be ready to call it a day.  Staying up late to star gaze might be pushing it.  You can have it as an option if you are having a great time and the mood is positive, and neither of you want the date to end.  If it's like that, go for it!  But be prepared to end the evening after the movie. 

If someone did all this for me, I would feel flattered, like I was worth more than crappy bar food.  A second date would be welcomed.  

Again, all this hinges on the vibe between you.   For your sake, I hope it's wonderful.

Go for it!


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## terri (Jun 1, 2016)

footballfan993 said:


> Furthermore, I have known her for about a year now, and she and another ex-coworker came over for a thanksgiving meal that I prepared for them.
> 
> Also the purpose of this date is not for me to "get lucky". That's never my purpose on a date, especially the first one. I am a huge romantic person, and I love doing romantic gestures towards the person that I like.


Sounds like you'll make a great husband some day.      Just keep it light and friendly in the beginning, and not try to force anything.   Don't listen to the naysayers, romantic gestures can mean a lot.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 1, 2016)

terri said:


> I think the movie choice is a good one,  too.  Much better than mindless car explosions, machine guns or a fluffy romance.



So what about two people starting a fluffy romance who are involved in a mindless car explosion and then strafed with machine gun fire....

Oh wait, that actually sounds like my last first date.  Umm.. never mind.  Carry on.


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## footballfan993 (Jun 1, 2016)

limr said:


> As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.
> 
> Anyway, back to the OP's plan. I still think it's too long. And I agree with Dave and pick just one or two Brazilian things for the menu (if the plan remains going to the apartment...which is iffy, imho.) I'd go with the brigadeiros, myself.



Unfortunately I can't simply go to a restaurant to get the Brazilian food, I would be cooking it all, because I'm like the only one that is Brazilian in my town, we don't have a lot of diversity here, the university that I go to is about 97% white. I'm probably like the only one in town that has Brazilian food.


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## runnah (Jun 1, 2016)

Not to make assumptions but have you had many dates or relationships? Because from where I am standing it sounds like that this may be your first date and or potential relationships.

So anyways my advice, take it slow. Have a vague outline of things to do and places to eat. Have backup activities and locations in case one option doesn't work. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are relationships.

Also remember that women, while dangerous and mysterious, are also humans who like to have fun and relax. Treat her like a person and not something to be worshipped.

If that fails, when stargazing ask her if she can see the Big Dipper at which point you whip "it" out.


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## jcdeboever (Jun 1, 2016)

My last first date, I had bad gas, what timing. A couple slipped and she heard and smelled them....we ended up getting married. 

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## table1349 (Jun 1, 2016)

Surprise #1.  You go to her, not the other way around.  Even in this modern day and age Chivalry, contrary to what the hipsters may think, is not dead. 

Surprised #2.  Take that walk sans camera and do something that tends to be unheard of in the male world.  Talk about her, get to know her, learn her likes and dislikes, hopes dreams etc.  

Surprise #3.  Take what you learned during your talk and surprise her with a dinner at a place that serves the foods she likes.  

Surprise #4.  If you go to a movie, make it the type she likes, chick flick, horror movie what ever or if she likes to dance go dancing.  

Surprise #5.  If you have a really nice late nite spot stop there on the way home, have a quiet drink, chat a little more.  

Surprise #6.  Walk or take her home, see her to her door.  Don't expect or try to get invited in.  Be a gentleman from the beginning to the end.  If you want to see her again ask if you can call her then DO IT!


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## runnah (Jun 1, 2016)

Pro tip: women like sex, a lot. Don't be afraid to make moves if the vibe is right. Not doing so can be even worse than trying and failing. Women, like men, are filled with insecurities and self-doubt so you not showing a physical interest might make her start doubting herself.


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## limr (Jun 1, 2016)

footballfan993 said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > As a pretty hardcore introvert, I don't mind the movie date, although I always preferred the movie first. I suck at small talk and "getting to know you" talk, but I can keep a conversation going if there's a clear purpose to it. If we see a movie first and then go somewhere for dinner or something, then at least the movie gives us something to talk about. I find the conversation more interesting that way, and in some cases, more enlightening about the other person.
> ...



Again, why does it have to be all Brazilian from soup to nuts? You could bring some of the soda and pao de queijo for a little picnic during the walk and go for a different kind of dinner. 

Going to your place with another person in a non-romantic situation is not the same thing as going alone on a first date. All I'm saying is to be open to the possibility that she might feel more comfortable in a restaurant. Be ready with a good restaurant option if she says she doesn't want to go to your place, because the last thing you want to do on a first date is to hem and haw about where to eat dinner. And I know she said to surprise her, but you might want to let her know of the time frame of the plan, because wherever you eat, it's a very long day. 

However, given your responses, it seems like you like your plan and are sticking to it anyway, so might I at least suggest not serving beans on a first date? What with the possible unpleasant gastrointestinal consequences and all...


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## vintagesnaps (Jun 1, 2016)

If she said to surprise her and you've known each other for some time, and she's been to your place before with a friend, then she must feel comfortable enough to have you make the plans for the date.

So what the heck, go with the Brazilian food but maybe since you're thinking of pasta in case she doesn't like what you make (which seems thoughtful of you), why not just make pasta as a side dish? Offer some choices so she can try something new, but doesn't end up feeling like she has to eat beans, lol or whatever the Brazilian dishes are, or have to tell you she doesn't like what you fixed.

It's different I think if you already know each other than a typical first date. It does sound though like a long time to go for a walk etc., then what does she do while you're fixing dinner? all afternoon and all evening seems a bit much. Maybe a camera or camera-less long walk would be better for a future date, maybe dinner then see if she wants to do some stargazing or watch a movie, etc.

And I don't know what that movie is but I started to glaze over reading the conversation, so unless you know she's into that maybe you should have more than one movie choice.

You're putting some thought into it which is nice, so I hope you have a fun evening.


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## gsgary (Jun 2, 2016)

Act like a lapdog and she will treat you like a dog and walk all over you

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## shearshusky (Jun 2, 2016)

Sounds like a great plan, your plan will work for me.


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## waday (Jun 2, 2016)

Mostly everything has been covered.

*Skip the camera*. DO NOT TAKE IT. Really. Even though you've been friends, you'll want to try to start this on the right foot. The wrong foot includes taking pictures of squirrels and chipmunks in a park. You should focus your attention on HER, not your camera. You can go to the park any day of the week. Taking pictures on a first date, especially of the romantic interest, is weird, really really weird (even if you've been friends for a while).

Remember to be yourself. Listen to what she's saying and show a genuine interest in her and her life. You've been friends so you think you know her, but, there is so much you don't know about her.



limr said:


> That's a very long day.


Totally agree. This is way, way too long. Don't most first dates include a dinner and movie? I haven't dated in years, so I have no idea what it's like now.


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## JacaRanda (Jun 2, 2016)

Basically, the whole dating thing is a crapshoot.  I say go with your original plan; if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. 
Much thought put into the way she may feel or think.  Well, there is the other side of that.  Hopefully, she is considerate enough to be wanting to get to know you also.  She told you to surprise her, so do it your way.

This is not only the opportunity for you to find out something about her; it's just as important for her to find out things about you.
Show you, be you!  The earlier the better IMO.


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## runnah (Jun 2, 2016)

gsgary said:


> Act like a lapdog and she will treat you like a dog and walk all over you
> 
> Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk



Exactly. Unless you are into that whole thing.


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## waday (Jun 2, 2016)

runnah said:


> gsgary said:
> 
> 
> > Act like a lapdog and she will treat you like a dog and walk all over you
> ...


In that case, while stargazing, ask her to find Canis Minor, instead of the big dipper?


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## gsgary (Jun 2, 2016)

waday said:


> runnah said:
> 
> 
> > gsgary said:
> ...


She would probably rather go down to the pub and get pissed 

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## waday (Jun 2, 2016)

So, @footballfan993, you'll have to let us know how it went.


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## astroNikon (Jun 2, 2016)

waday said:


> So, @footballfan993, you'll have to let us know how it went.


He's "footballfan"
so he musta' scored
.. or something like that ...
lol


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## terri (Jun 2, 2016)

waday said:


> So, @footballfan993, you'll have to let us know how it went.


Heck, he probably cancelled it after page 3.


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## JacaRanda (Jun 2, 2016)

terri said:


> waday said:
> 
> 
> > So, @footballfan993, you'll have to let us know how it went.
> ...



 Last time he'll come to a photography forum for advice.


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## limr (Jun 2, 2016)

Oh dear lord, it's a very good thing some of you have been out of the dating game


JacaRanda said:


> terri said:
> 
> 
> > waday said:
> ...



Hey man, you get what you paid for


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## JacaRanda (Jun 2, 2016)

limr said:


> Oh dear lord, it's a very good thing some of you have been out of the dating game
> 
> 
> JacaRanda said:
> ...



I know right!  He probably went to Facebook first.


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## astroNikon (Jun 2, 2016)

limr said:


> Hey man, you get what you paid for



I missed the part where he paid for his date.
I guess it was a different kind of date then ...


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## limr (Jun 2, 2016)

astroNikon said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > Hey man, you get what you paid for
> ...



I meant advice, not women


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## robbins.photo (Jun 2, 2016)

terri said:


> waday said:
> 
> 
> > So, @footballfan993, you'll have to let us know how it went.
> ...



Most likely my fault.  Probably shouldn't have mentioned anything that happened on.. well, any first date I ever had.  Though I can say not all of them ended up causing an international incident or a weekend spent in a Turkish jail.  So.. well, maybe some were slightly more successful than others.  So ya, there is that.


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## jcdeboever (Jun 2, 2016)

It was my flatulence. 

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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> terri said:
> 
> 
> > waday said:
> ...


So you are saying that you escaped Turkey before they were able to capture you and there's an International Warrant out for your Arrest with a significant award tagged to it ?

Where do you live & work again ?


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

jcdeboever said:


> It was my flatulence.
> 
> Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk


probably why the birds were on the other side of the river too ...


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

astroNikon said:


> robbins.photo said:
> 
> 
> > terri said:
> ...


Ok well if by escaped you mean was deported from with orders not to return then sure.

So no, no international arrest warrant issued by Turkey.  Angola might be a different story entirely, but I'm a-ok with Turkish law enforcement as long as I never set foot in their country again.

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## limr (Jun 3, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Ok well if by escaped you mean was deported from with orders not to return then sure.
> 
> So no, no international arrest warrant issued by Turkey.  Angola might be a different story entirely, *but I'm a-ok with Turkish law enforcement as long as I never set foot in their country again.*



My connections tell me otherwise. All I'm saying is if one day a stranger walks up to you and embraces you and says "Fıstığım!" then run. Don't look back. Just.Run.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

limr said:


> My connections tell me otherwise. All I'm saying is if one day a stranger walks up to you and embraces you and says "Fıstığım!" then run. Don't look back. Just.Run.



Oh crap.  I thought I had that whole misunderstanding with the Planters people taken care of - man, they can be some seriously ruthless bastages.  Just didn't think they'd hold a grudge quite this long...


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## limr (Jun 3, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > My connections tell me otherwise. All I'm saying is if one day a stranger walks up to you and embraces you and says "Fıstığım!" then run. Don't look back. Just.Run.
> ...



They take their nuts seriously. The peanuts are one thing, but don't mess with the pistachios!


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

limr said:


> They take their nuts seriously. The peanuts are one thing, but don't mess with the pistachios!



Ok, well I should state for the record that Mr. Peanut did eventually recover, physically at least.  I mean granted I guess he is going to need a lot more therapy but who doesn't, right?


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## otherprof (Jun 3, 2016)

limr said:


> robbins.photo said:
> 
> 
> > limr said:
> ...


A movie about Hawking, who divorced his long suffering wife (who did have an outside "relationship" while she was married to Stephen) to marry his nurse - and announced "I have finally married the woman I love" - and then divorced the nurse and returned to the first wife, who took him back and  who updated her book about their life to include a happy ending . . .  Sounds more like a soap opera than an intellectually challenging flick. The only thing missing is amnesia or the unexpected twin. I'm sorry about his tragic illness, but find him morally flawed for reasons beyond his marriages.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

otherprof said:


> A movie about Hawking, who divorced his long suffering wife (who did have an outside "relationship" while she was married to Stephen) to marry his nurse - and announced "I have finally married the woman I love" - and then divorced the nurse and returned to the first wife, who took him back and  who updated her book about their life to include a happy ending . . .  Sounds more like a soap opera than an intellectually challenging flick. The only thing missing is amnesia or the unexpected twin. I'm sorry about his tragic illness, but find him morally flawed for reasons beyond his marriages.



Steven Hawking had an evil twin brother with amnesia?  Huh.. well even so I still wouldn't want to sit through two hours of that either.  Watching paint dry sounds more entertaining.


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## table1349 (Jun 3, 2016)

"The Forum is in dire need of a section where discussions can be held without the self-proclaimed comedians high-jacking the threads for their own personal amusement."


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

gryphonslair99 said:


> "The Forum is in dire need of a section where discussions can be held without the self-proclaimed comedians high-jacking the threads for their own personal amusement."


Dating advice was asked for and given, we are currently awaiting results.  Mission accomplished.  So please direct your high horse to the nearest place you can disembark from it and do so because let's face it, you of all people have zero right to register a complaint in this regard.



Sent from my N9518 using Tapatalk


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## table1349 (Jun 3, 2016)

gryphonslair99 said:


> "The Forum is in dire need of a section where discussions can be held without the self-proclaimed comedians high-jacking the threads for their own personal amusement."





robbins.photo said:


> gryphonslair99 said:
> 
> 
> > "The Forum is in dire need of a section where discussions can be held without the self-proclaimed comedians high-jacking the threads for their own personal amusement."
> ...


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

gryphonslair99 said:


> View attachment 122697




Case in point.  Or if you prefer, game, set, and match.


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## vintagesnaps (Jun 3, 2016)

So, where are we now? he's come to his senses and realized this was not the best place to ask for this kind of advice and is never coming back? or he should give up on the entire Brazilian night of gourmet food and fun and just offer her a choice of peanuts or pistachios and bore her to death with a movie about Steven Hawking's evil twin?

Thanks Otherprof but explaining it didn't really help either in making it sound palatable! lol


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

vintagesnaps said:


> So, where are we now? he's come to his senses and realized this was not the best place to ask for this kind of advice and is never coming back? or he should give up on the entire Brazilian night of gourmet food and fun and just offer her a choice of peanuts or pistachios and bore her to death with a movie about Steven Hawking's evil twin?
> 
> Thanks Otherprof but explaining it didn't really help either in making it sound palatable! lol



At this stage I'll consider it a win as long as he doesn't come back and ask for legal advice, visa vie a restraining order.


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## vintagesnaps (Jun 3, 2016)

The date can only go better than this thread.


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

vintagesnaps said:


> So, where are we now? he's come to his senses and realized this was not the best place to ask for this kind of advice and is never coming back? or he should give up on the entire Brazilian night of gourmet food and fun and just offer her a choice of peanuts or pistachios and bore her to death with a movie about Steven Hawking's evil twin?
> 
> Thanks Otherprof but explaining it didn't really help either in making it sound palatable! lol


Maybe they ended up just getting married ?


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

vintagesnaps said:


> The date can only go better than this thread.


This thread is just nuts,
or more specifically .. pistachio nuts.


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## table1349 (Jun 3, 2016)




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## JacaRanda (Jun 3, 2016)

astroNikon said:


> vintagesnaps said:
> 
> 
> > So, where are we now? he's come to his senses and realized this was not the best place to ask for this kind of advice and is never coming back? or he should give up on the entire Brazilian night of gourmet food and fun and just offer her a choice of peanuts or pistachios and bore her to death with a movie about Steven Hawking's evil twin?
> ...



How romantic.  Nuptials while stargazing.   Hey baby, if you ask me for a star and I give you the moon; at least you reach the sky.  And they lived happily and ever after.  The end!


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## jcdeboever (Jun 3, 2016)

astroNikon said:


> vintagesnaps said:
> 
> 
> > So, where are we now? he's come to his senses and realized this was not the best place to ask for this kind of advice and is never coming back? or he should give up on the entire Brazilian night of gourmet food and fun and just offer her a choice of peanuts or pistachios and bore her to death with a movie about Steven Hawking's evil twin?
> ...


No reason they should be any happier than the rest of us. 

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk


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## waday (Jun 3, 2016)

JacaRanda said:


> How romantic. Nuptials while stargazing. Hey baby, if you ask me for a star and I give you the moon; at least you reach the sky. And they lived happily and ever after. The end!


If someone gives you either the moon or a star, it would be the end. 

Of civilization as we know it.


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

jcdeboever said:


> astroNikon said:
> 
> 
> > vintagesnaps said:
> ...


I wonder if they had a Photographer at the ceremony ?
and what kinda of equipment s/he had?


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## limr (Jun 3, 2016)

otherprof said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > robbins.photo said:
> ...



Well then I would have been quite disappointed, wouldn't I?  I know nothing about the movie other than it was about Stephen Hawking. If it's truly that focused on his relationships rather than his life and work as a whole, then I've just lost any interest I had in seeing it.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 3, 2016)

limr said:


> Well then I would have been quite disappointed, wouldn't I?  I know nothing about the movie other than it was about Stephen Hawking. If it's truly that focused on his relationships rather than his life and work as a whole, then I've just lost any interest I had in seeing it.



Really?  Our sweet, innocent little football fan in the clutches of some she devil, and this is what your worried about.  Sheesh.

Lol


Sent from my N9518 using Tapatalk


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

hey, he liked my post 12 minutes ago so he's around and reading this thread ...


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## footballfan993 (Jun 3, 2016)

Update/Results:

Well the date happened and the date went well! I'll tell you what happened:

In the morning, I work up, made the Pao do Quejio, and did some touch up cleaning.

Brianna came over around 2, and we left for a walk through Schmeeckle nature reserve that lasted for about 45 minutes to an hour. We talked a lot during the walk.
After the walk, we went back to my place, and I told her that I have a selection of DVDs and Netflix to choose from, and she wanted to watch "The Theory of Everything". It was actually a really good movie. 

About halfway through the movie, we decided to make dinner. 
I opted to not make all the food be Brazilian, but we still had the Pao do Quejio, Brigaderios, and Guarana. For the main course we had spaghetti  pasta with garlic and my homegrown spinach. All the food was great.

After eating, we continued watching the movie, we even cuddled too. And then she had to leave, which was alright with me.

I walked her out to her car, and we hugged, and kissed. However while hugging, I did notice a pack of cigarettes in her car, while it might not seem like a big deal to some,  smoking to me is a huge turn off. 

But overall, we both had a good time together, and this morning, I even woke up to a "Good morning!" text from her.


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

WooHoo !!

I know what you mean about cigarettes though


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## limr (Jun 3, 2016)

Excellent! Sounds like timing and activities were just right.

I understand that smoking is a turn-off for you, but if it gets to a point that you end up talking to her about it, just be careful not to sound judgmental. I am not saying that you _would_ be - I'm just suggesting that you be extra aware of how you bring up the topic or discuss your distaste of it because with a topic like that, it's easy to sound judgmental even if you don't intend it that way. Just choose your wording carefully, is all I'm saying. 

Let us know if there's a second date!


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## astroNikon (Jun 3, 2016)

If there's no second date then you'll have to send all of us a sample of Brazilian food.


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## footballfan993 (Jun 3, 2016)

astroNikon said:


> If there's no second date then you'll have to send all of us a sample of Brazilian food.


We didn't talk about setting up a send date then, but I'm sure there will be one.


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## medic2230 (Jun 3, 2016)

footballfan993 said:


> astroNikon said:
> 
> 
> > If there's no second date then you'll have to send all of us a sample of Brazilian food.
> ...



Glad to hear everything went well.


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## jcdeboever (Jun 4, 2016)

She didn't smoke around you? She was jonesing for one... maybe that's why she left early. 

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk


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## MSnowy (Jun 4, 2016)

Well you broke "Dude Rule #1 Never let them know where you live. Always I repeat always go to the their place that way you can leave when you want. Front door, back door or window


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## PatrickSoares (Jun 6, 2016)

MSnowy said:


> Well you broke "Dude Rule #1 Never let them know where you live. Always I repeat always go to the their place that way you can leave when you want. Front door, back door or window



Gentlemen Rule #1 - Don't follow the Dude Rules.


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## Stradawhovious (Jun 6, 2016)

jcdeboever said:


> She didn't smoke around you? She was jonesing for one... maybe that's why she left early.
> 
> Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk



Or maybe they weren't hers.  Any number of reasons they could be in there.  Roomate, family member, clever hiding spot for her heroin... (I keeed I keeeeeeeed.)  Hell, maybe she found the pack on the ground and hasn't gotten around to throwing it out yet.

If you are sensitive to cigarette smoke and she didn't smell like an ashtray, at a minimum she doesn't smoke in her car, and she may not smoke at all.  One thing about smokers... they smell like smoke.  Ask me how I know.

I don't smoke in my car but my wife smokes in hers.  if I spend more than 5 minutes in that car I reek like an ashtray for hours.

This goes back to the ASK HER comment from page one.  Assumptions are silly.

If she DOES smoke, and it's a deal breaker for you, let her know that right away.   I wouldn't expect her to quit because you don't like it, but it's better then letting it smolder into a slow-burn resentment.


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## table1349 (Jun 6, 2016)

Next date give her some of this.  Problem solved.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 6, 2016)

Well if you do intend on approaching her about the smoking thing approach with extreme caution.  As a smoker I know from experience how much judgemental crap we put up with on a daily basis.  It's kind of a sore subject for most of us at this point.  

So I'd advise extreme caution at best, frankly I wouldn't bring it up at all unless at some point she lights up in front of you.  Even then I'd be very, very careful how you handle it.


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## PatrickSoares (Jun 7, 2016)

A good method I used to get my girlfriend to quit smoking was to make a deal with her: I stopped drinking beer (and smoking weed) and as a result, she quit smoking. But you have to be responsible and honest with that, I know how hard it is. On the other hand, you are half Brazilian and we have alot of pride, so that should be easier for us. And also, you won't give the impression of wanting something to change but rather that you will work on yourself first before changing anything else, sounds less selfish imo.

As for the rest, I hope you can hit a second date and wish you the best.

Paz e prosperidade.


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## Stradawhovious (Jun 14, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Well if you do intend on approaching her about the smoking thing approach with extreme caution.  As a smoker I know from experience how much judgemental crap we put up with on a daily basis.  It's kind of a sore subject for most of us at this point.




Dude... you know smoking is bad for you, right?  You should quit.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 14, 2016)

Stradawhovious said:


> Dude... you know smoking is bad for you, right?  You should quit.



Well gosh no, I didn't know that.  Thanks for the heads up.


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## table1349 (Jun 14, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Stradawhovious said:
> 
> 
> > Dude... you know smoking is bad for you, right?  You should quit.
> ...


In all fairness, the human lungs developed as a means of transferring oxygen to the cells of the body and removing carbon dioxide, nitrogen and other gas byproducts from the body.  

The inhalation of any untested foreign substances, not just tobacco products, is not a recommended activity.  That would include untested, unstudied vapor products of dubious origin. 

But then we as humans love to justify our own vices while stating the hazards of other peoples vices.


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## Stradawhovious (Jun 14, 2016)

gryphonslair99 said:


> In all fairness, the human lungs developed as a means of transferring oxygen to the cells of the body and removing carbon dioxide, nitrogen and other gas byproducts from the body.
> 
> The inhalation of any untested foreign substances, not just tobacco products, is not a recommended activity.  That would include untested, unstudied vapor products of dubious origin.
> 
> But then we as humans love to justify our own vices while stating the hazards of other peoples vices.



I'm not going to have to explain sarcasm and humor to YOU of all people, am I??


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## robbins.photo (Jun 14, 2016)

Stradawhovious said:


> I'm not going to have to explain sarcasm and humor to YOU of all people, am I??



Depends.  Do you have a chart?


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## Trever1t (Jun 14, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Well if you do intend on approaching her about the smoking thing approach with extreme caution.  As a smoker I know from experience how much judgemental crap we put up with on a daily basis.  It's kind of a sore subject for most of us at this point.
> 
> So I'd advise extreme caution at best, frankly I wouldn't bring it up at all unless at some point she lights up in front of you.  Even then I'd be very, very careful how you handle it.




Not personally attacking BUT a coworker was recently verbally attacked when he asked a smoker to move away from him while he was working (he couldn't leave his station, the smoker easily could) - most likely he was sore from people giving him judgemental crap, as you put it...

As a former smoker and now free from that crap for 15 years or so....screw smokers who are tired of judgemental crap....there's a reason, it's UNHEALTHY and we want NO PART of it! So go smoke where it won't bother others and all is cool 

If she smokes and didn't while you were out all that time then she's either very strong willed or not a habitual smoker. 

Where's the pics???


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## table1349 (Jun 14, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Stradawhovious said:
> 
> 
> > I'm not going to have to explain sarcasm and humor to YOU of all people, am I??
> ...


Let's not forget the _*twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us.





*_


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## robbins.photo (Jun 14, 2016)

Trever1t said:


> Not personally attacking BUT a coworker was recently verbally attacked when he asked a smoker to move away from him while he was working (he couldn't leave his station, the smoker easily could) - most likely he was sore from people giving him judgemental crap, as you put it...
> 
> As a former smoker and now free from that crap for 15 years or so....screw smokers who are tired of judgemental crap....there's a reason, it's UNHEALTHY and we want NO PART of it! So go smoke where it won't bother others and all is cool



I don't smoke around others who don't smoke, I smoke in designated smoking areas  or in my car.  If someone asks me not to smoke around them, I don't.  

Just because someone else who is a smoker was inconsiderate doesn't mean that all of us who smoke are inconsiderate.

As for the rest, well I'll make a deal with everyone who doesn't smoke and are so concerned about my second hand smoke.  Every single one of you sell your vehicles and never drive anywhere ever again.  No buses, no trains, nothing that uses an internal combustion engine of any form.  You walk or bike ride everywhere you go.  

When every person who has complained about second hand smoke does that, I'll give up smoking.  Personally I think that's quite fair, seeing as how those vehicles put a heck of a lot more pollutants in the air in a matter of minutes than I did last year smoking.


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## table1349 (Jun 14, 2016)

I had the occasion to help a lady friend of mine recently.

She had run down and down and down, and had at last reached a point where medicines no longer had any helpful effect upon her. I said I knew I could put her upon her feet in a week. It brightened her up, it filled her with hope, and she said she would do everything I told her to do. So I said she must stop swearing and drinking, and smoking and eating for a week, and then she would be all right again.

And it would have happened just so, I know it; but she said she could not stop swearing, and smoking and drinking, because she had never done those things. So there you have it. She had neglected her habits. She was a sinking ship, with no freight to throw overboard.

Why, even one or two little bad habits could have saved her, but she was just a moral pauper.


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## Trever1t (Jun 14, 2016)

robbins.photo said:


> Just because someone else who is a smoker was inconsiderate doesn't mean that all of us who smoke are inconsiderate.




No, I'm well aware, most smokers are polite and thoughtful...there are a few shitheads who aren't.  Like i said, that wasn't about you but it's usually those that are feeling judged that are those deserving of being so.


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## robbins.photo (Jun 14, 2016)

Trever1t said:


> robbins.photo said:
> 
> 
> > Just because someone else who is a smoker was inconsiderate doesn't mean that all of us who smoke are inconsiderate.
> ...


I don't accept judgments of others when it comes to how I choose to live my life.  Their has been only one man who ever earned that right and he passed away a few years ago.



Sent from my N9518 using Tapatalk


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## table1349 (Jun 14, 2016)

Oh come now, whats life with out a little judgmentalism among friends.


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## runnah (Jun 16, 2016)

footballfan993 said:


> But overall, we both had a good time together, and this morning, I even woke up to a "Good morning!" text from her.



eh, we all have our flaws.


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