# C&C on my autobiography



## xxx_jpk_xxx (Oct 18, 2008)

I added an autobiography to my website last night, and though I do think it's alright and it does what it's supposed to, I think it can be improved. What do you guys think? I realize I put "Biography" instead of autobiography, but autobiography sounds a little too... boring, for lack of a better word. What word do you guys think I should change Biography to?

http://www.jpkrein.net/biography.html


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## xxx_jpk_xxx (Oct 18, 2008)

OH MY GOD, SHOES!

I'm pretty sure this is a photography forum, not an advertisment forum.


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## Jeff Canes (Oct 20, 2008)

Well it could use a little work, you have used and started to many sentences with I or I&#8217;ve


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## xxx_jpk_xxx (Oct 20, 2008)

Jeff Canes said:


> Well it could use a little work, you have used and started to many sentences with I or I&#8217;ve



So it should be less personal?


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## Jeff Canes (Oct 22, 2008)

the person info is fine, it&#8217;s sentence structure that you are using what that i think needs work, IMO it reads like a rap song


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