# Why I hate doing business with friends.



## RainNotebook (Jul 18, 2008)

I'm doing a little venting here but also wondering what you do in these situations. 

I've done lots of sessions for one of my good girl friends and have even had her sign model release forms for those sessions.  Today, however, she informs me that she doesn't want the pictures I took of her in my portfolio online or else where.  She doesn't even want her dog on there so "everyone can see".  
She has been there watching the photos that I've been putting in my portfolio (she is also my web designer) then all of a sudden today she tells me this. 

First off I'm hurt because of the turn.  I've given her nothing but free photography sessions and I know I always will and now I can not use any of them.  Not even her dog! And second I feel I have the right to use them all I want.  She signed the release forms (for each session separately too!) but because we are "friends" I can't use that in my favor.  Those forms are worthless.

Like I said this is a bit of a vent but my question to you is, how do you handle "friend" or even "family" situations??  Being a photographer friends and family automatically want to use you, but how do you draw the line and make it a business deal only?  Or is that even possible?


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## Overread (Jul 18, 2008)

Well first off - like you say - whilst you have the forms and can (probably) legaly use the photos without her taking court action to revoke the forms its definatly not worth it nor even worth considering.

That aside I see 2 options for you:

1) Give it a little time and then talk to her. Explain your disapointment and the go one to ask for the reason behind the pullout - don't ask for the rights again, just go straight for what you lack - the reason for this change of heart. That might lead you to be able to convince her to give you the rights again (chances are it might be feat of exposure - someone telling her shock stories of web stalkers)

2) Sigh - keep the shots in a draw and go on with shooting - maybe as you have had good practice and time with your friend you are now ready (guessing here, not sure of your current achivements or experiences) to high a professional model to get some high quality shots for your portfolio - see time was not wasted - you learnt and made your mistakes for free - rather than having them cost you


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## Heck (Jul 18, 2008)

That sucks. Let her know the point for the free sessions were so you could have the photos for for your portfolio and without the use of them it would have been a waste of your time and effort and you would be left with nothing for your trouble. If she was a real friend she would understand. Ahh who are we kidding people suck! Sorry.


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## Big Mike (Jul 18, 2008)

It's probably not worth wrecking the friendship over, but I'd be honest and let her know that you are hurt by this.  You work hard to get a good portfolio.

And of course, no more free photo shoots unless everything is fully agreed upon before hand.


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## NateS (Jul 18, 2008)

^^ That's the biggie to me.  I would kindly explain to her that you cannot shoot her for free anymore if you can't use the pictures in your portfolio.  Tell her that you have to have something for your time and effort.

It sucks that people only seem to care about themselves these days.  If she was a truly caring friend then she would want you to do well and not hinder your career aspects.  Hopefully she will be more considerate when you explain things.  If not, then sadly this will reflect what kind of friend she is to you (not saying that you shouldn't still be friends, just that you should know in the future that she's mainly focused on making herself happy).

I hope it all works out well.


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## PhilGarber (Jul 18, 2008)

Heck said:


> That sucks. Let her know the point for the free sessions were so you could have the photos for for your portfolio and without the use of them it would have been a waste of your time and effort and you would be left with nothing for your trouble. If she was a real friend she would understand. Ahh who are we kidding people suck! Sorry.



I'll agree with that.


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## PhilGarber (Jul 18, 2008)

Big Mike said:


> It's probably not worth wrecking the friendship over, but I'd be honest and let her know that you are hurt by this.  You work hard to get a good portfolio.
> 
> And of course, no more free photo shoots unless everything is fully agreed upon before hand.



WISDOM! Pure and utter WISDOM!:hail:


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## RainNotebook (Jul 18, 2008)

Thank you all for your responses and listening to me vent.  I don't think this will be resolved in any positive way other than remaining friends.  I appreciate the view point of taking everything I've done and learning from it.  And thats just how I'm going to look at it.


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## cofphoto (Aug 3, 2008)

Boy if I had a dollar for every post I've read that's similar to this one....

One question - is she designing your website for free...?

Unfortunately the bottom line here is that you have to decide what is more important - the portfolio images or your friendship.  Sounds like you've aleady made that decision (and the right one IMO).

No doubt I'd never shoot her again for anything less than FULL price (whatever you would charge strangers).  And I'd simply move on and find some other people for PBing.

I know this is a tough situation...good luck with it.  =)


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## roadkill (Aug 4, 2008)

If she was your "friend" she'd suck it up, let you use the photos and not say anything.  What she was saying when she signed the release was "use these photos as you will."  
Stand up for yourself.


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## freelunch (Aug 4, 2008)

Good friends are hard to find. Respect her wishes. 

(I presume you have suffered no financial loss? If she deletes the work from your site, she won't charge for her time?)

Burn all the files in question to DVD and give it to her. Tell her she has the only copy. Tell her to give the DVD back to you if she ever changes her mind. Forget about it.

You can always redo the work, and probably better, with another model who won't have a crisis of confidence.


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