# Looking to get out of wedding Photography .... Thoughts Please!



## DepthOfFocus (Jun 16, 2014)

Hey Guys! This is more of an emotional post, rather than the usual/business-type ones, so bear with me.

I've been shooting weddings for the past couple of years. Between being a sole/primary and secondary photographer, I've shot about 14 weddings (I do  photography as part-time).

I get lots of good feedback on my work  ... The referrals/Facebook likes just keep on coming in ... I've never heard anything bad really. Everyone has been pushing me to do this full time actually!

I'm looking to get out of wedding photography because I have mixed feelings about it. I got into it/enjoy it because I love capturing the moments, always meeting people, being part of the day, getting those "money shots" ... Ya know ... All that jazz.

However I'm finding that the cons outweigh the pros ... Mainly when I don't get the shots I wanted - Either because of timing (too little time in between ceremony/reception), poor lighting conditions, technical malfunctions, the couple is stressed/stiff/hard-to-work with ... Or my creative eye/brain just wasn't working the day of. Plus no amount of training/seminars/articles I read does not come close to real-world  experience.

I sometimes feel like I'm that photographer the couple talks about that they weren't "thrilled" about - I'm a pretty like-able person, and I don't think any of them would be upfront about if they were unhappy about the pictures!

Although I'm fairly confident, I am probably being very hard on myself. I still feel like it's pressure/anxiety that I simply don't want/need in my life. It's turned into something I lose sleep over. I just want to focus on other things in my life (mainly my band/music).

I have only two confirmed weddings left this year that I'm the sole photographer for ...  I'd rather just want to get out this. Should I:

(A) Just tough it out, shoot these 2 weddings, be done with weddings and not take on any more this year/next year.

(B) Give this another chance. Practice more and more. Get feedback/criticism. I can only get better and better.

(C) Try and pass on these weddings and be done with them. Make something up, like due to a recent legal issue... Or ... tell them I have an operation which means I can't be mobile ... etc.

(D) Be completely honest with them and back out. It won't be hard to find another photographer in late Sept anyways!

Again, I know this is more of an emotional post than anything else. Hoping if anyone here can relate.

With Love,
DOF


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## sscarmack (Jun 16, 2014)

If your not feeling it anymore, I strongly suggest you back out now. When thing I've learned about photography and especially my photography, my results solely depend on my mood.

If I'm in a bad mood or not into it, my creative thoughts aren't there. I just want to get the shots and get home.

But when I actually want to take photos, I sit there for 20 minutes thinking of different techniques and angles and etc.

So my honest advice is, if you aren't inspired to do it anymore then don't. Don't just do it, just to do it.

Yeah people may "like" your photos, and will even pay you for it. But like you said, Its not worth the stress. I only book so many weddings a year because of this.

Senior portraits to. These parents nowadays are crazy.


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## AmberAtLoveAndInk (Jun 16, 2014)

OP, whatever you decide to do, staying with wedding photography or not, you absolutely CANNOT back out on these people! I myself am getting married this Sept and if my photographer told me they couldn't shoot my wedding I would be beyond pissed and would most likely review them poorly and make sure to tell others of their last minute break of contract. Some brides can roll with the punches and figure it out, others like me, get things taken care of early on so I can relax the 30-60 days before the most important day of my life. 
If it's not in you anymore to enjoy wedding photography then finish these last two out STRONG. Put your ALL into them, do things you wouldn't normally do, make an effort to make a picture not only well exposed, but interesting. If at the end you are still deflated then call it quits and make a formal announcement that you will no longer be doing weddings at the end of this year. If making the change and really pushing yourself on these last two gives you the work you've been looking for, then keep at it. But to be honest, I think it's best for to call it quits after this year if you are seriously considering cancelling someone's wedding you booked just because you aren't happy anymore. I'd hate to see a repeat performance in 2015 and you (for the sake of your sanity) are pushed to quit on someone else at different point in time.


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## ruggedshutter (Jun 16, 2014)

I would be tempted to stick to A or D.  If you honestly don't feel that you can be creative enough for 2 more weddings then I would move towards D.


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## KmH (Jun 16, 2014)

I've heard this same story a couple of hundred times in the last 30 years.

The terms of your contract should be your guide.

If the "two confirmed weddings left this year that I'm the sole photographer for..." haven't signed your contract, tell them ASAP they need to make other arrangements.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE


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## spacefuzz (Jun 16, 2014)

You can't leave them in the lurch because you are having career angst.  But have you talked to any other photographers who have a similar style to you? Perhaps you could have them take over the contract for the same price.


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## DepthOfFocus (Jun 16, 2014)

Thanks all for your opinions. 
I would much prefer to get out of these weddings and stick to all other types of photography.
Being a perfectionist, and having mild anxiety and being a photographer do not mix well, LOL!

I'd have no problem finding someone else for them - Problem is that almost all other photographers (That I know and trust) charge 2-3 times than what I charge.


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## vintagesnaps (Jun 16, 2014)

I'm with Keith, what are the terms of your contract? Personally I would most likely follow thru on whatever I'd made a commitment to do.

What you described as cons seem to be what wedding photographers are dealing with at every wedding, so maybe you're better off moving on to something else. 

The only thing I might consider would be to possibly find another available photographer who you knew was good, reliable, etc. If that photographer could do it then let the couple know that you're phasing out of the wedding photography business and see if they'd be willing to meet with the other photographer, etc. - if that's possible with your contract. I wouldn't lie or make up excuses, just keep it to the fact that you're getting out of the business (it could be for personal reasons that I wouldn't think you'd need to explain). I probably wouldn't do that though, I think I'd just do the last two weddings and then be done with it. 

If you do any other type of photography it's likely your reputation will go with you, so if you bail on these last two clients you don't know where something may be posted or said that will bite you in the - well, you know.

edit - And now that I saw the more recent post, if there isn't anyone available in their price range it might be necessary to follow thru with doing the last two. (and now I guess you know you probably were underpricing). You could think of it as being only two more days (+ time editing etc.) then you're done for good!


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## robbins.photo (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Hey Guys! This is more of an emotional post, rather than the usual/business-type ones, so bear with me.
> 
> I've been shooting weddings for the past couple of years. Between being a sole/primary and secondary photographer, I've shot about 14 weddings (I do photography as part-time).
> 
> ...



Ok, well if you told these folks you'd shoot their wedding, then you really need to fulfill your obligations to them and shoot their wedding.  If you want to contact them and let them out of their contract at there discretion that's fine, but if you already told them you would do it then you should do it.  If your word becomes worthless then so do you, regardless of what business your in.

If this is a part time thing and you don't need the income, then I wouldn't try to force it.  If your not feeling it now you probably won't be 6 months from now, or a year from now, etc - and your really doing a disservice to your clients by continuing to take bookings if you already know in advance you won't be delivering the kind of results you should be able to for whatever reason.  

So do the last two jobs and then go find something else to do - if you want to keep shooting as a hobby, etc, great.  If you want to try your hand at the part time pro thing doing portratis, etc - great.  But I don't see much point in doing any more weddings after these final 2 that you already agreed to do.  Other opinions will probably vary, but that's my 2 cents worth.


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## Light Guru (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Try and pass on these weddings and be done with them. Make something up, like due to a recent legal issue... Or ... tell them I have an operation which means I can't be mobile ... etc.



Lying is NEVER a good option.  Its only going to come back and bite you.



DepthOfFocus said:


> I'd have no problem finding someone else for them - Problem is that almost all other photographers (That I know and trust) charge 2-3 times than what I charge.



This tells me that you are NOT charging enough for photographing weddings.  If you were getting payed 2-3 times what you are now to photograph weddings would you still want to stop photographing them.

Ether stick out the ones you have committed to or find someone that can deliver comparable images at the same price.  

Also think over the good and bad points again with having increased your price by 2-3 times what it is now.  It would let you take fewer jobs but still make the same if not more.


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## KmH (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Problem is that almost all other photographers (That I know and trust) charge 2-3 times than what I charge.


Ah!

That explains a lot.


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## DepthOfFocus (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> This tells me that you are NOT charging enough for photographing weddings.  If you were getting payed 2-3 times what you are now to photograph weddings would you still want to stop photographing them.



I don't care about the money. More money means higher expectations! It's the anxiousness when I don't get the shots because of circumstances both within and outside of my control.


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## gsgary (Jun 16, 2014)

Man up, pull yourself together and shoot those last 2 shots, you could post some of your best shots for us to see but you may fell worse after


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## Designer (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Again, I know this is more of an emotional post than anything else.



We're definitely getting a mixed message.  

You might be good, but might not be as good as people had hoped.

You enjoy it but it causes you stress.

You don't have a second shooter, although you need one.

You are confident but paranoid.

You have commitments but are willing to make up a false story to get out of them.

Now what is it that you really wanted to know?


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## DepthOfFocus (Jun 16, 2014)

Designer said:


> DepthOfFocus said:
> 
> 
> > Again, I know this is more of an emotional post than anything else.
> ...



That I'm a scatterbrain - YUP!


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## snerd (Jun 16, 2014)

I would absolutely meet with them and tell them I am not confident enough in my work, and that I do not want to ruin a very special moment in your lives. I'm recommending a wedding photographer who is much better than I am, and he will preserve your wedding memories in photographs you will cherish for the rest of your lives! Damned if I would want to be the so-so photographer that ruined their wedding pictures!

This is from a layman's point of view. I know nothing of contract law, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.


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## sscarmack (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> DepthOfFocus said:
> 
> 
> > This tells me that you are NOT charging enough for photographing weddings.  If you were getting payed 2-3 times what you are now to photograph weddings would you still want to stop photographing them.
> ...



THIS!!!! Don't get me wrong. I love making money. But I absolutely agree with this. 

I've had ONE super big paying gig. I don't want another. Id rather take two smaller gigs than one huge one. 

Bridezilla. Momzilla. You name it. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Derrel (Jun 16, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Thanks all for your opinions.
> I would much prefer to get out of these weddings and stick to all other types of photography.
> Being a perfectionist, and having mild anxiety and being a photographer do not mix well, LOL!
> 
> I'd have no problem finding someone else for them - Problem is that almost all other photographers (That I know and trust) charge 2-3 times than what I charge.



Maybe one of the benzodiazepines in a decent dose appropriate to your body weight/metabolism and anxiety levels could help alleviate or at least sublimate the anxiety, and allow you to focus more on the photographing with lowered anxiety levels. And no, I am not kidding, and not making light of the situation. I mean this totally seriously.

But yeah, weddings...I've shot them, and they are a PITA in many ways...all the prepping, checking of gear, the late groomsmen, the late MIL's, the late brides, the idiot florists who confuse St. Andrews with St. Iggy's...the drunken reception people...uggg.


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## JoeW (Jun 16, 2014)

1.  I haven't seen your photography.  While it's possible you need to get better or improve your skills, I highly doubt that's the issue.  You're not shooting your second wedding.  You've got a number of shoots including working with other pros and done it for multiple weddings over 2 years.  It's not that you can't improve, it's that I doubt that your skill is the primary issue here.

2.  I've been a serious shooter for 43 years now.  I have only shot weddings for good friends and not as the primary photographer...it was basically my gift to them.  I am very experienced and I can tell you that I'm not cut out to shoot weddings as a primary business.   A professional wedding photographer will tell you that while there is skill involved, the most critical pieces/competencies involve dealing with the brides and mother-in-laws.  It's a unique skill set for a photographer and most of us aren't cut out for it OR even if we could do it, wouldn't enjoy it and would come to hate our art.

It sounds to me like it's not the photography issue, it's the client "dealing with a wedding" issue that's the big factor.  Yeah, you sometimes have bad days.  Yeah, you're honest enough to realize you don't always bring your "A" game or could improve.  But it doesn't sound like those are the primary issues.  It sounds like you still love photography but you just don't really enjoy the elements that go with shooting weddings...the organization, the client interaction, managing the expectations, dealing with people trying to get a bargain and expecting a gazillion edits, people making copies and cheating you out of income...all of the stuff that is part of being a wedding photographer.

If you can afford it financially, I suggest you walk away.  You should enjoy your photography, not come to dread events you're shooting.  I know a fair amount about shooting weddings--more than enough to know that I'd do terribly as a wedding photographer with that as my primary business.  I'd start to piss off clients, I'd come to hate my camera and despise my art.  The wedding photographers I know are very good photographers but they're outstanding and dealing with all the stuff that goes with shooting a wedding besides the shooting.  Which is why I know I'd be no good at it and it sounds like you're the same way.

As to the post from the bride-to-be about not walking out, I think you have references you can give them.  And what couple wants to know that they were your last client before you quit shooting b/c you didn't like doing weddings?  Ugh.  You want to deliver a good performance for the couples you're scheduled to shoot.  And if you have started to hate doing this (shooting weddings) or at least dread it, then it's a mistake to stay with those gigs.


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## imagemaker46 (Jun 17, 2014)

You do the final two weddings and then wrap it up. If you are feeling anxious and stressed about shooting, it will really start to take a toll on your mental and physical wellbeing,  I speak from great experience on this.  Photography should be enjoyable.  The only time I am stressed about it is when I'm not shooting. I calm down and relax once I have a camera in my hands.  If it ever gets to the point where you don't look forward to shooting, it is time to, at the very least, take a long break from it.


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## DepthOfFocus (Jun 19, 2014)

Thanks everyone for your kind and honest advice.

This last wedding I shot was far from my greatest, as such, left a very bad taste in my mouth. Most others I shot were really good actually (when the couples end up paying me extra, that's a good sign).

Any of the Not-so-good weddings/shots I've taken are all HUGE HUGE learning experiences and have taught me WHAT to do and WHAT NOT to do.

I"m going to continue with the 2 confirmed weddings, and second shoot throughout the rest of the summer. Based on how the last two go in September, I will then decide whether to take this on in 2015 or not !

With love, 
DOF


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## e.rose (Jun 19, 2014)

A... Oh my god A.

You CANNOT. effing back out on 2 weddings you are confirmed for. That is the WORST possible thing you could do to someone.

Suck it up and put on your big boy/girl pants.

I HATE weddings.

I will second shoot them, but I HATE weddings and I WILL. NOT. MAIN. SHOOT.

That being said I *used* to main shoot.

And by the time my last two weddings had rolled around, I already knew I wanted out, but I went and I did the best possible effing job that I could, and then after that I referred any and all weddings out (To a friend of mine... who in turn hires me as his second shooter.  ).

Stop shooting weddings if you want, but you HAVE to keep the commitments you've already made, because otherwise you're just being a sh*tty person.


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## rexbobcat (Jun 19, 2014)

Back out of the weddings to teach the bride and groom that sometimes married life sucks and things don't always work out as planned. They need to learn to deal with it as it comes.


Just kidding. Don't do that. Do what e.rose suggested for sure.


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## DepthOfFocus (Jun 20, 2014)

Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.


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## astroNikon (Jun 20, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
> I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.



:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## e.rose (Jun 20, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
> I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.



Good. You can do it! :hug::


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## frommrstomommy (Jun 20, 2014)

DepthOfFocus said:


> Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
> I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.



This was my vote. I didn't read many of the other responses.. kinda skimmed but yeah. I don't think I could bare to back out on people.. I'd feel SO guilty. Weddings are enough stress without having a flaky photographer to boot. 

As a kinda side note.. it sorta kinda sounds to me like maybe you are just in a bit of a rut overall. I had a little debbie downer stage about two months ago where I just felt kinda stagnant as far as improvements went and just wasn't feeling it as much and a couple pep talks from photographer friends of mine really turned that around for me.


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