# How to advertise to the world that you're just a NEWB photographer...



## e.rose

Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):

Precious
Frozen
Time
Captured
Focus
Moments
Memories
Snaps
Shots
Frame
Forever

I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.

I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.

I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible. 

**Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**

_[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_


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## tirediron

Bored tonight Rose?


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## Derrel

Hmmmm... < Memories Frozen in Time + Facebook  > on Ye Olde Google turns up some vewwwy intewesting stuff!!!!   Frozen In Time Memories + Facebook - Google Search

Now...there's a BUNCH of 'businesses' by this name, and all I can say is I clicked on some links and looked at some pics...and e.rose has a point. Some of these pages just screeeeeeeam, "Fer-twaag-ru-fuuuuuur! *Per-fessh-un-llll* fer-taaaaaag-ru-fuuuuuur!"


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## tirediron

Derrel said:


> Hmmmm... < Memories Frozen in Time + Facebook  > on Ye Olde Google turns up some vewwwy intewesting stuff!!!!   Frozen In Time Memories + Facebook - Google Search
> 
> Now...there's a BUNCH of 'businesses' by this name, and all I can say is I clicked on some links and looked at some pics...and e.rose has a point. Some of these pages just screeeeeeeam, "Fer-twaag-ru-fuuuuuur! *Per-fessh-un-llll* fer-taaaaaag-ru-fuuuuuur!"


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## JustJazzie

How about flashbacks? Does that give me away? :giggle:



tirediron said:


> Bored tonight Rose?


If you ARE just bored, I'm happy to share my Facebook rant for the evening.


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## e.rose

tirediron said:


> Bored tonight Rose?



Yup.

 :lmao:   :hug::


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## HikinMike

I have friend that does some killer nature stuff: Nature Photography by Greg Cope - Landscape and Wildlife


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## e.rose

JustJazzie said:


> How about flashbacks? Does that give me away? :giggle:
> 
> 
> 
> tirediron said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored tonight Rose?
> 
> 
> 
> If you ARE just bored, I'm happy to share my Facebook rant for the evening.
Click to expand...


Let's call it anything having to do with time, period. Whether or not it actually utilizes the word time in it. 

What is your rant?


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## e.rose

HikinMike said:


> I have friend that does some killer nature stuff: Nature Photography by Greg Cope - Landscape and Wildlife



Your friend can be in the .01 minority.

I just saw a "focused" brand that was terribly mediocre.

THAT'S actually where this stemmed from.

SPECIFICALLY the words "focus" and "moment".


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## JustJazzie

e.rose said:


> JustJazzie said:
> 
> 
> 
> How about flashbacks? Does that give me away? :giggle:
> 
> 
> 
> tirediron said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored tonight Rose?
> 
> 
> 
> If you ARE just bored, I'm happy to share my Facebook rant for the evening.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Let's call it anything having to do with time, period. Whether or not it actually utilizes the word time in it.
> 
> What is your rant?
Click to expand...


Damnit! I thought I was onto something with that one. :giggle:

RANT:
Sue Bryce posted a stunning (as always) image to her Facebook page this evening with the question "Natural or strobe?" wanting people to guess. Comments are paraphrased as follows
"strobe"
"Natural"
"You know this broke a rule right?"

"strobe"
"Strobe"
" are you SURE you meant to crop it that way?

"natural"
"natural" 
Sue; Strobes! (insert setup description)
"that sounds like a lot of work for something you could do with natural light"
"You really should have cropped it this way (insert stolen screen shot and recrop)


UMMM!!! Seriously?! This is SUE ****ING BRYCE... Who takes her images and "Fixes" them and then POSTS THEM TO HER THREAD ON FACEBOOK?! And who tells her that she "Broke the rules?"


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## e.rose

JustJazzie said:


> UMMM!!! Seriously?! This is SUE ****ING BRYCE... Who takes her images and "Fixes" them and then POSTS THEM TO HER THREAD ON FACEBOOK?! And who tells her that she "Broke the rules?"



People who want to make themselves feel like they know something when they don't.

It's a lot like running around on here... wait... what? Did I say that out loud?


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## frommrstomommy

<< captured 


*walk of shame*


:lmao:


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## thereyougo!

So you wouldn't like to buy this (fake) website:

www.apreciousmomentintimefrozenforever.com


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## sm4him

Well, cr*p.

It took me FOREVER to come up with my catchy biz name: Snapz: Precious Memories Frozen Forever in Time.


Back to the drawing board I guess.


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## The_Traveler

I am changing my website name

It used to be Lew Lorton Photography - clearly not catchy.

Now it will be

*Lew Lorton's moments, captured in focus and frozen in time and in the frame forever for your memories, not just precious snaps but shots you want to keep forever.*

kinda has a ring to it.
my business cards will have to be longer.


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## imagemaker46

e.rose said:


> Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):
> 
> Precious
> Frozen
> Time
> Captured
> Focus
> Moments
> Memories
> Snaps
> Shots
> Frame
> Forever
> 
> I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.
> 
> I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible.
> 
> **Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**
> 
> _[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_



Geez, the last time I had a post like this I was threatened with a ban and the post removed by an over sensitive admin.  So as I didn't start this. I find all the cute little names are just as you said, a recipe for creating crap, you left out:

 "Unemployed mommy needs work photography"  the bio would read, maternity, babies, cats, dogs, weddings, sports, birds, landscape, special events, and does anyone have the owners manual for camera, I haven't been able to figure out why the "M" for magnificent photos is working, the "P" for perfect is broken as well.


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## AceCo55

the bio must have the word "passion", "let me capture your special moments .... Oops ... Precious"


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## e.rose

thereyougo! said:


> So you wouldn't like to buy this (fake) website:
> 
> www.apreciousmomentintimefrozenforever.com



Actually... that might not be a bad idea. SOMEONE is going to want it eventually, and I want to be the one to sell it to the poor schmuck for $1000. 



The_Traveler said:


> I am changing my website name
> 
> It used to be Lew Lorton Photography - clearly not catchy.
> 
> Now it will be
> 
> *Lew Lorton's moments, captured in focus and frozen in time and in the frame forever for your memories, not just precious snaps but shots you want to keep forever.*
> 
> kinda has a ring to it.
> my business cards will have to be longer.



I'll give you a moo.com referral link. 



AceCo55 said:


> the bio must have the word "passion", "let me capture your special moments .... Oops ... Precious"



Ugh. Bios. Ugh.


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## TamiAz

<------------ Guilty :blushing:  However, I don't consider my self a newb anymore..I like to think I've moved up the ladder a bit in three years and I'm not in business.. I just use my website to put share my work. :mrgreen:


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## robbins.photo

e.rose said:


> Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):
> 
> Precious
> Frozen
> Time
> Captured
> Focus
> Moments
> Memories
> Snaps
> Shots
> Frame
> Forever
> 
> I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.
> 
> I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible.
> 
> **Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**
> 
> _[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_



Need snaps of your precious memories?  Call us here at Doing Time photography.  Forget those cheapo ads on craigslist, if you want a real bargain hire on of our convicted criminals on work furlough instead.  

No one understands how to capture moments if they've never been captured themselves, and who better to frame those unforgettable memories than someone who's knows what it's like to be framed?

So for your next event call Doing Time photography.  Quality pictures for less than you pay for a license plate.


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## vintagesnaps

Lew's going to need to have his business card made up as a sandwich board to wear walking down the street. Now that'd be a precious sight worthy of a selfie to go viral.


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## e.rose

robbins.photo said:


> Need snaps of your precious memories?  Call us here at Doing Time photography.  Forget those cheapo ads on craigslist, if you want a real bargain hire on of our convicted criminals on work furlough instead.  No one understands how to capture moments if they've never been captured themselves, and who better to frame those unforgettable memories than someone who's knows what it's like to be framed?  So for your next event call Doing Time photography.  Quality pictures for less than you pay for a license plate.



I would hire that photographer.

In a heartbeat.

Sent from my iPhone using PhotoForum


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## JustJazzie

robbins.photo said:


> e.rose said:
> 
> 
> 
> Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):
> 
> Precious
> Frozen
> Time
> Captured
> Focus
> Moments
> Memories
> Snaps
> Shots
> Frame
> Forever
> 
> I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.
> 
> I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible.
> 
> **Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**
> 
> _[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Need snaps of your precious memories?  Call us here at Doing Time photography.  Forget those cheapo ads on craigslist, if you want a real bargain hire on of our convicted criminals on work furlough instead.
> 
> No one understands how to capture moments if they've never been captured themselves, and who better to frame those unforgettable memories than someone who's knows what it's like to be framed?
> 
> So for your next event call Doing Time photography.  Quality pictures for less than you pay for a license plate.
Click to expand...

Note to self: Don't read any posts by Robbins when drinking coffee.


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## robbins.photo

e.rose said:


> robbins.photo said:
> 
> 
> 
> Need snaps of your precious memories?  Call us here at Doing Time photography.  Forget those cheapo ads on craigslist, if you want a real bargain hire on of our convicted criminals on work furlough instead.  No one understands how to capture moments if they've never been captured themselves, and who better to frame those unforgettable memories than someone who's knows what it's like to be framed?  So for your next event call Doing Time photography.  Quality pictures for less than you pay for a license plate.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I would hire that photographer.
> 
> In a heartbeat.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using PhotoForum
Click to expand...

Whew.  Good.  I thought after working in all those buzzwords it might sound a bit too "cutesy"

Lol


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## thereyougo!

If you're feeling particularly harsh when you visit  Capture a Moment in Time You will want to treasure for ever photography page, you could always recommend they showcase their work at this page (shortened by bit.ly):

You Are Not a Photographer | Exposing fauxtographers since 2011


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## e.rose

thereyougo! said:


> If you're feeling particularly harsh when you visit  Capture a Moment in Time You will want to treasure for ever photography page, you could always recommend they showcase their work at this page (shortened by bit.ly):
> 
> You Are Not a Photographer | Exposing fauxtographers since 2011



I always visit that site when I'm feeling mean with nowhere to direct my malice.


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## robbins.photo

JustJazzie said:


> Note to self: Don't read any posts by Robbins when drinking coffee.



Lol.. sorry, forgot the disclaimer again.   Whoops.


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## photoguy99

Glass houses. Stones.

Maturity. Professionalism.

Are you an aspiring professional, or a whining bottom feeder? You get to choose.


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## Scatterbrained

Don't forget to have an "Investment" page.  Because let's face it, people don't want to book a session, purchase your services, or schedule a shoot, they came to your precious website to make an_ investment_ in their timeless memories.


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## e.rose

photoguy99 said:


> Glass houses. Stones.



Never used any of those words in a business name. Also if my business name sucks... then you're gonna have to blame my mother and my husband for that one.  :lmao:



photoguy99 said:


> Maturity.


 What's that?



photoguy99 said:


> Professionalism.



Professionalism was not posting the exact name that sparked this thought and their URL to go with it. I'm allowed to have thoughts and opinions as a professional.



photoguy99 said:


> Are you an aspiring professional, or a whining bottom feeder? You get to choose.



I'm not an aspiring professional. I *am*. :greenpbl: 



Scatterbrained said:


> Don't forget to have an "Investment" page.  Because let's face it, people don't want to book a session, purchase your services, or schedule a shoot, they came to your precious website to make an_ investment_ in their timeless memories.



Hahahahaha yes. The INVESTMENT page. :lmao:


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## astroNikon

Well that was my entire list of finalist biz names .... back to the drawing board ...


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## astroNikon

robbins.photo said:


> e.rose said:
> 
> 
> 
> Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):
> 
> Precious
> Frozen
> Time
> Captured
> Focus
> Moments
> Memories
> Snaps
> Shots
> Frame
> Forever
> 
> I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.
> 
> I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible.
> 
> **Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**
> 
> _[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Need snaps of your precious memories?  Call us here at Doing Time photography.  Forget those cheapo ads on craigslist, if you want a real bargain hire on of our convicted criminals on work furlough instead.
> 
> No one understands how to capture moments if they've never been captured themselves, and who better to frame those unforgettable memories than someone who's knows what it's like to be framed?
> 
> So for your next event call Doing Time photography.  Quality pictures for less than you pay for a license plate.
Click to expand...


The best part is, these guys take no payment.

When you invite them into your home for the photog session,
they'll rob you blind anyways.


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## robbins.photo

astroNikon said:


> When you invite them into your home for the photog session,
> they'll rob you blind anyways.



But that's the best part - your not just frozen in time, your frozen in fear.  Lol


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## chuasam

That's it! I'm gonna rename to Memories of Precious Time Frozen Forever


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## e.rose

chuasam said:


> That's it! I'm gonna rename to Memories of Precious Time Frozen Forever



May the god of the MWACs be with you.


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## wallstreetfool

This thread is more entertaining than what I had anticipated.

Though on a serious note, Sands of Time Frozen Memories Professional Photography - does sound like something I'd go with.


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## Browncoat

Wonder if it's because of the interwebs. I seem to remember a trend in phone books (ha! remember those?) that went something like this:

A1 Plumbing*
AA Plumbing
AAA Plumbing

_* Insert muffler/tire/air conditioning/law office/vision center/salon/hardware_


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## e.rose

wallstreetfool said:


> This thread is more entertaining than what I had anticipated.  Though on a serious note, Sands of Time Frozen Memories Professional Photography - does sound like something I'd go with.



Haha, don't do it! 



Browncoat said:


> Wonder if it's because of the interwebs. I seem to remember a trend in phone books (ha! remember those?) that went something like this:  A1 Plumbing* AA Plumbing AAA Plumbing  * Insert muffler/tire/air conditioning/law office/vision center/salon/hardware



Yeah but I at least understand that.

This is just plain cheesiness. 

Sent from my iPhone using PhotoForum


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## shane90

robbins.photo said:


> e.rose said:
> 
> 
> 
> Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):
> 
> Precious
> Frozen
> Time
> Captured
> Focus
> Moments
> Memories
> Snaps
> Shots
> Frame
> Forever
> 
> I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.
> 
> I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible.
> 
> **Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**
> 
> _[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Need snaps of your precious memories?  Call us here at Doing Time photography.  Forget those cheapo ads on craigslist, if you want a real bargain hire on of our convicted criminals on work furlough instead.
> 
> No one understands how to capture moments if they've never been captured themselves, and who better to frame those unforgettable memories than someone who's knows what it's like to be framed?
> 
> So for your next event call Doing Time photography.  Quality pictures for less than you pay for a license plate.
Click to expand...

gold hahahahha


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## Aloicious

e.rose said:


> Name your business with one of the following words (combine multiple for extra points!):
> 
> Precious
> Frozen
> Time
> Captured
> Focus
> Moments
> Memories
> Snaps
> Shots
> Frame
> Forever
> 
> I cannot tell you much names containing those words eat at me like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> I see those names, and I think to myself, "This person is NOT gonna be any good." And then I visit their website/portfolio/facebook page, and 9.99 times out of 10 I'm right.
> 
> I think only ONCE did I assume that and they actually kicked a$$. Everyone else was incredibly mediocre to ... just plain terrible.
> 
> **Awaits the on-slaught of very upset people who have named their businesses as such.**
> 
> _[DISCLAIMER: For the record, this was sparked by something I saw on Facebook. Not here. I have no idea if any of you are running around with names like this.]_



Blast, and I was JUST about to fill out the DBA for "Precious Memories Forever Frozen in Time"


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## imagemaker46

Had another "photographer" hand me his business card yesterday, "Life's moments captured" and if I ever needed help to call. I checked out the web site, half the photos didn't load, other pages were blank. This from a person using brand new Nikon D4's a 300 2.8 and 70-200 2.8, he explained that it was part time until he retires from his "real job", one of my favourite types. The pictures that did load, brutal, and that's all I'm saying.


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## SoulfulRecover

I love poking through the bored house wife photographers on craigslist. Hell, one of them works at the dealership I am at just so they can save money and not have to pay someone to do it.


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## shutterbug1974

Ha! Well, luckily I didn't use any of those words in my "catchy" name. Maybe there is hope for me yet!


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## vintagesnaps

I can't help but laugh sometimes but some of this people are probably going to get a big dose of reality one of these days. I imagine at least some of this will run its course eventually because they won't be making money at it, will get tired of doing it because they didn't really love it to start with, etc. But probably not anytime soon, unfortunately.


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## rexbobcat

I lol whenever a bio says any of the following:

"I've loved photography as long as I can remember"
*something about grandpa's film camera*
"Precious memories"
"Moments frozen in time"
"special day"
"I don't just take photos, I tell stories."

Also, pretty much anyone who has their bio written in third person. It makes me think they're trying to make themselves seem more in-demand than they actually are. "Oh, sorry. I'm sooooo busy I didn't even time have to write a few sentences about myself."


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