# Is it rude to...



## rexbobcat (Feb 17, 2013)

One of my relatives is getting married in March, and I was planning on attending the event as a guest...sort of...

They've already hired a photographer for the actual wedding, but I feel that it would be very difficult for me to just not bring my camera at all. 

I don't mean that I want to steal the main photographer's thunder, but I'd like to show up and just go around taking some casual snapshots of family and whatnot.

But...is that rude? At the last wedding I went to (which was also family) the photographer came up to me and said "hey you, listen. This is OUR gig."

I know nobody likes the guest who tries to one-up the pro, but it's my family and from an ethical standpoint I'm torn. Heh.

What do y'all think?


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## EIngerson (Feb 17, 2013)

It's family. No it's not rude.


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## christop (Feb 17, 2013)

I think it's rude of that photographer to basically tell you to stop taking pictures at your own family's wedding (unless you were getting in their way). They're getting paid whether you take pictures or not.


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## pgriz (Feb 17, 2013)

Every family wedding I've been to, I've taken a zillion shots.  Of course, just to be sure that there are no issues, I've checked both with the family and the photographer, and I've never had anyone tell me I can't take pictures of the event.  I've also asked the photographer(s) to tell me if there are areas where I should not be, so as to not screw up their sightlines, and pretty much all appreciated my efforts at not getting into their way.  So, as long as they know what you will be doing, and you know what they need to get, I don't see a problem.


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## BrianV (Feb 17, 2013)

It is not rude, it is family- and the photographer at the last wedding was way out of line. I've seen some real moron photographers at family weddings, and some really great ones that invite people up after they got their shot.


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## Tee (Feb 17, 2013)

What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?  

Don't do it.  Enjoy the wedding as a guest.  Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc.  I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.


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## christop (Feb 17, 2013)

Tee said:


> What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?
> 
> Don't do it.  Enjoy the wedding as a guest.  Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc.  I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.



Maybe it's more enjoyable taking pictures than doing those other activities. I know it would be for me.


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## rexbobcat (Feb 17, 2013)

Tee said:
			
		

> What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?
> 
> Don't do it.  Enjoy the wedding as a guest.  Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc.  I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.



I'm the guy who takes photos at Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and birthdays.

I don't know where you got the idea that I'm trying to be a pro by bringing my camera to take snapshots of a momentous occasion...

And besides that, isn't it how it goes that when you don't have your camera, you wish you did?

I was just looking for input from others who either shoot weddings or have run into issues in the past.

I don't really care about taking photos of the bride and groom because the official photog will get those. I'm talking about the guests and all of the little trivial moments that have no sentimental value to the pro.

I want to make that distinction clear so I don't seem like too terrible of a person. I really don't want to be "that guy", but at the same time being without a camera at something like this is like being without my phone. Lol


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## Tee (Feb 17, 2013)

rexbobcat said:


> I really don't want to be "that guy", but at the same time....



Well.  You asked for thoughts and I gave you mine.  Your initial post describing your run in with the photographer gives the impression that you may just be "that guy".  Either way, do your thing.  Have fun.


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## rexbobcat (Feb 17, 2013)

Tee said:
			
		

> Well.  You asked for thoughts and I gave you mine.  Your initial post describing your run in with the photographer gives the impression that you may just be "that guy".  Either way, do your thing.  Have fun.



But how is it possible not to be that guy while still taking photos, or do you think it's inevitable - kind of like how any camera bigger than a stack of cards is considered a professional camera at sporting events.

Your initial post seemed kind of aggressive insinuating that I'm trying to compete with the pro. that is why I responded.


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## pixmedic (Feb 17, 2013)

not that the photographer should be rude...BUT, from the photographers standpoint, if you bring a good DSLR to the wedding, it might be possible that you get shots that the photographer normally would have made money on selling prints to family members that will now just get them from YOU for free. it could be viewed, even as a family member doing it, as cutting the main photog out of some income. I think there should be some discussion beforehand between you, your family, and the photographer rather than just showing up taking pictures. it could prevent any "rudeness" at the actual wedding.


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## accuseal (Feb 17, 2013)

The B &G have paid big $ to get good pics. As a former wedding photog, amateurs were a nuisance and a distraction. Leave the camera at home. Better you spend your time observing the Pro and learning.


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## jrizal (Feb 17, 2013)

rexbobcat said:


> Tee said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



For me, it would be rude to get into anybody's way whether they may be the bride and groom, official photog or other guests. I am also assuming you are smart enough to use a zoom as much as possible to get out of the way and still take photos. And even if you use a short prime, I am still assuming you are still getting out of the way. And minimize the use of flash since you are not the official photographer. (But what's the use of better glass anyway?) Lastly, as a courtesy to the bride and groom I would often send the copies (digital or print) of my best shots. Just me. 

PS Take note that the official photographer's photo will always be put in the wedding album not yours! But your may be put in a digital photo frame.  And if you want to post or sell your photos to a third party, it is always wise to get their permission.

PS 2 Then maybe Tee is right. Have fun, get some drinks, mingle with the other guests and perhaps meet someone special if you're not attached or married and really enjoy the wedding and reception as family. But that's your call. 

PS 3 There will be always that other guy/gal who will be bringing a camera and will continue snapping pictures whether that camera is a DSLR, a P/S and a phone camera.



rexbobcat said:


> the photographer came up to me and said "hey you, listen. This is OUR gig."
> 
> I know nobody likes the guest who tries to one-up the pro, but it's my family and from an ethical standpoint I'm torn. Heh.



Seems the official photog has some insecurity issues. Maybe it's because of your gear. But then again it their gig and their pictures will always be put in the wedding album.


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## ratssass (Feb 17, 2013)

in all honesty,what if the tables were turned?how would that make you feel?


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## manicmike (Feb 17, 2013)

I think it's a bit rude.


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## pgriz (Feb 17, 2013)

The only time I've ever had an issue with a wedding photographer at a wedding was when the photographer was not well organized and was running around trying to get pictures of people after they started coming out of the church.  Unlike most of the other weddings I've attended and unlike most of the other wedding photographers I've seen, this one did not have a set of preplanned shot sequences, and was trying to get people together to get the shots he needed.  When there are about 200 people milling about, and trying to figure out who's going with who to the reception, take the various family snapshots, etc., it's difficult to pull the people together to get the shots - and since the photographer did not plan this portion, he was running around trying to get people together, and snapping at all the family members who were shooting each other with whatever cameras they had.

Pretty much all the other wedding photographers had no problem with family photographers doing their thing, as long as we didn't get in the way - and that was a simple process of communication.


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## CCericola (Feb 17, 2013)

As a wedding photographer I don't care if people take pictures when I am, just don't get in my way. Especially with the family group photos. I take mine, then let the family paparazzi have at it. I'm not worried about losing money on prints. The people settling for Uncle Joe's photo weren't going to buy anything from me anyway. I have already been paid quite a bit of money that was due 1 week before the wedding. 

I hate taking my camera to weddings when I'm a guest. I just want to relax and have fun. Why do you want to take your camera and hide behind it all night? Don't you like your relatives?


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## rexbobcat (Feb 17, 2013)

ratssass said:
			
		

> in all honesty,what if the tables were turned?how would that make you feel?



I'm...not sure I would care? As long as they weren't encroaching on my photo space lol.

I've never really worried about prints. I'm more concerned about the cost to show up, take the photos, and edit them. 

Even if some dude showed up with $10k worth of gear, the bride and groom are still paying me a large chunk of change regardless.

In my opinion, it would be very strange for a wedding photographer today to base their business model around print sales.


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## BrianV (Feb 17, 2013)

My Nephew's wedding, the Official Photographer forgot to bring a wide-angle, could not get a picture of the wedding party in the confined space. I lent him my lens so he could get the shot. He made sure to put a greasy thumb print over the rear element as he handed it back- figured he wanted to ruin the rest of my shots. I saw it, cleaned it up before putting it back on. Another weddings, my shots ended up being the ones used for the wedding album. "Processing accident" at the pro lab destroyed all of those from the pro. 

Some photographers view every camera there as loss revenue. If the photographer is good, they have nothing to worry about- their pictures will sell themselves. The lousy ones, they have something to worry about.


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## o hey tyler (Feb 17, 2013)

Here's my words of advice to you: 

Bring your camera, yes. That's fine. Use just the 85mm on it, and maybe the 24mm. Don't bring the 70-200. I think you'd do fine just walking around with the 85 (personally.) 

Remain in your seat during the ceremony, and don't do the normal "stick your camera down the aisle as they're walking." That will more than likely aggravate the photographer. 

Do not try to get a shot of all the formal poses right after the photographer does, this annoys me to no end and makes that particular segment drag on for far longer than it needs to. 

Don't set up a bunch of flashes for dance floor photos that could potentially interfere with what the primary photographers are trying to accomplish. 

If you follow those guidelines, you should be fine. Those are all the things that rustle my jimmies when I shoot a wedding.


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## tirediron (Feb 17, 2013)

Talk to the B&G, have them ask the hired photographer.  If he/she is good with it, fine.  If not, gow ith that too...  like most of us, you're not going to be content to sit in a pew and raise your iPhone to get a shot, you're going to be trying to get 'the' shot; it's in our nature, so if the hired gun is especially fussy about other shooters, than don't upset him/her.  If they're not...  have a blast.


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## amolitor (Feb 17, 2013)

I take photos at weddings. But as a guest, from the positions guests occupy. I'm not in anybody's way any more than any other guest, and I try to take pictures that the photographer will not take. For instance, photographs of the photographer. One of the memories one has as a guest at a wedding is of the constant pacing presence of the photographer. Photographers at weddings are trying to hit certain shots, they're NOT trying to capture the sensation of being a guest. As a guest, I can most conveniently attempt to capture that. So, I do.

People seem to like it, it's another angle on their day. These aren't the photos you're going to frame, but you might put one or two in the album, and you might share a few out with the friends and family. Why not?

Any "pro" who bitches at guests about taking pictures from the positions guests normally occupy needs to get out of the business, something which I expect will happen without any help from us.


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## Mully (Feb 17, 2013)

If you show up with better equipment than the hired photographer that can cause lens envy ....bring a good point and shoot and look like a relative that likes to take pictures.


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## BrianV (Feb 17, 2013)

Or bring a Leica, no one takes them seriously.


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## tevo (Feb 17, 2013)

BrianV said:
			
		

> Or bring a Leica, no one takes them seriously.



I was going to suggest this


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## BrianV (Feb 17, 2013)

Next time I see a IIIc at a wedding, I'll offer to lend you the Sonnar for some shots.


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## imagemaker46 (Feb 17, 2013)

I would just take pictures at a family wedding.  If the hired photographers feel so threatened by some amateur showing up and doing so casual shots, they have the problem.  As long as you aren't being a pain, getting in the way or distracting the couple during the "official" photographs it shouldn't be an issue.  How do you think the wedding photographer I hired for my wedding felt when he showed up and most of the guests were professional photographers, all with cameras.  This was over 30 years ago and he missed a bunch of the shots after the ceremony, he was out in his car with the Maid of Honour checking his gear.


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## EmmaBproductions (Feb 17, 2013)

No. You never know, they may prefer your photos to the actual photographers. 

Anyway, if you dont capture a decent set of photos, if doesnt matter as they arent paying you!


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## Awiserbud (Feb 17, 2013)

BrianV said:


> My Nephew's wedding, the Official Photographer forgot to bring a wide-angle, could not get a picture of the wedding party in the confined space. I lent him my lens so he could get the shot. He made sure to put a greasy thumb print over the rear element as he handed it back- figured he wanted to ruin the rest of my shots. I saw it, cleaned it up before putting it back on. Another weddings, my shots ended up being the ones used for the wedding album. "Processing accident" at the pro lab destroyed all of those from the pro.
> 
> Some photographers view every camera there as loss revenue. If the photographer is good, they have nothing to worry about- their pictures will sell themselves. The lousy ones, they have something to worry about.



That sucks, I would have given it back to him and asked him to clean it.


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## tevo (Feb 17, 2013)

BrianV said:
			
		

> Next time I see a IIIc at a wedding, I'll offer to lend you the Sonnar for some shots.



:') That would be awesome.


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## SCraig (Feb 17, 2013)

imagemaker46 said:


> I would just take pictures at a family wedding.  If the hired photographers feel so threatened by some amateur showing up and doing so casual shots, they have the problem.  As long as you aren't being a pain, getting in the way or distracting the couple during the "official" photographs it shouldn't be an issue.  How do you think the wedding photographer I hired for my wedding felt when he showed up and most of the guests were professional photographers, all with cameras.  This was over 30 years ago and he missed a bunch of the shots after the ceremony, he was out in his car with the Maid of Honour checking his gear.



I agree with this philosophy.

The hired photographer is going to get paid regardless.  He set his price for the event, and will get paid that amount.  As long as you don't infringe on his working space then in my opinion he has no room to complain.  If he does just tell him to get over it and do his job.


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## Overread (Feb 17, 2013)

If a professional photographer is concerned at all about guests taking photos at the wedding then they should put it in their contract to limit photographs at the event. Otherwise most photographer pros I've heard of don't mind, heck in the past many brought those cheap disposable film cameras (and I suspect some still do) to gather up a load of pictures taken by the guests at the event. 

Just follow the guidelines that others have said, don't take a massive amount of gear, don't get in the way and don't be a distraction. Otherwise you shouldn't have any problems at all with the pro at the wedding.


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## bratkinson (Feb 17, 2013)

Almost a year ago, I showed up at my ex- step-daughters wedding with my 60D, 24-70 f2.8L and 580EX II flash in hand. I made it a point to seek out the photographers and introduce myself within 5 minutes of arrival  and let them know I would do my very best to stay out of their way. In the ceremony, they were up front (as expected) and I stayed in the 3rd row aisle seat and ventured into the aisle and back very quickly a couple of times (no flash, of course). I managed to stay out of their way the whole time, I think. I also chatted with them a couple of times too. 

It's a good thing they hired 'real' photographers. My pictures turned out poorly due to my complete inexperience with oddball lighting and white balance handling.


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## vintagesnaps (Feb 17, 2013)

I do nothing with weddings but have done photos for sports marketing/events. I'd try to be aware of the visiting team's photographer, TV crew etc. - they'd notice me at first and once they seemed to realize I was paying attention and staying out of their way they'd basically just ignore me the rest of the evening. 

It might depend on how you handle it - if it's OK with family and you can be reasonably unobtrusive and not interfere with the wedding photographer doing his/her job I don't see why it would be a problem. 

Sharon


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## Ratboy (Feb 17, 2013)

Bahhh , take the photo's , have a drink , give your camera to your 13 year old nephew to go and take some , have some wedding cake , dance with your grandfather......take some more,    how many other point and shoot camera's are goining to be there , what's the differane if your looking through one of those or your SLR . It's a wedding capture it, enjoy it and look back on it ......the other guy is getting paid for the headaches


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## Rafterman (Feb 18, 2013)

I say go for it! Take your camera and take your own pics of the happy day. I'll share my own experience to support my recommendation...

Last summer, I took photos at my brother-in-law's wedding on a cruise ship in Cape Canaveral, FL. The ship provided a pro as part of their wedding package, so I was just there as another guest with a camera. I had my D3100 with 35mm f/1.8G lens and Metz shoe-mount flash. I took several shots in the room where the ceremony was being held as the guests casually made their way in and sat down. The pro arrived a bit later, and after spotting me, asked my brother-in-law if he had hired his own photog for the event, which gave a little boost to my ego.  During the ceremony however, I stayed seated in the 2nd row on the groom's side and took just a handful of shots here and there with no flash while the pro worked the room and did his thing. Afterwards, during the large group shots, the pro took his photos first, then let the family snap a few before he organized the next group. In all, the whole event was very civil and ran smoothly. I stayed out of his way and in turn, I got some great candid shots that many of my family members preferred to the pro's pics. Plus, I picked up some great tips and new ideas by watching him do his thing.

If you can get your photos without preventing them from doing their job, I'm sure the pro wouldn't mind. After all, it's a wedding! They know there will be other people present with cameras of all types.


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## dmunsie (Feb 19, 2013)

Sure it's a bit rude...but it is *your family* so do what you want and handle the consequences..if there is any.  At the least, enjoy the wedding and perhaps at the reception bring out your gear.


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