# Ken Rockwell facts:



## inTempus (Mar 12, 2009)

I thought this was pretty funny.




Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the  light waits for him.
Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo  win first place in three different categories
Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
 Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
 Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
 Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
 Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
 Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really  a link to National Geographic Magazine
 Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
 Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
 The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
 Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced  for the viewer
 A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the  quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
 Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of  photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
 Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues


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## fwellers (Mar 12, 2009)

The legend continues ... and grows.


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## TUX424 (Mar 12, 2009)

My favorites are about Ken controlling everything
I laughed at the Nikon L lens...
I'm such a dork


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## Garbz (Mar 12, 2009)

This is a repost  http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/...-tripods-pointless-when-shooting-digital.html


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## Ejazzle (Mar 12, 2009)

that was a good laugh! thanks haha


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## slapshot (Mar 13, 2009)

Hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

The fake blog was great, too! -> Fake Ken Rockwell Blog


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## stsinner (Mar 13, 2009)

OMG!!   "Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes"..  That's priceless!!


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## MACollum (Mar 14, 2009)

tharmsen said:


> The term tripod was coined after his silhouette


I call BS! :er: LOL


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## Marty Kay (Nov 30, 2010)

Even here in far flung Australia we hear of Ken Rockwell.  Hey Ken, after having seen a few of your galleries I did a double take - just can't believe how much colour jacking and sharpening you do.  You are also a lot like David Doubilet (who I know).  He admits that he takes the shotgun approach.  Literally hundreds of shots of the one subject with tiny, subtle differences in lighting and angle.  Not all of us have the resources (or time) to do that.  Some of my best shots have been a group of only 3, EV bracketed 1/3 - 0 - 1/3.   But unless a person derives 100% income from pro photography, not 100%, in Ken's eyes you are not a pro, so I guess it follows you know nothing.


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## j-dogg (Nov 30, 2010)

Ken Rockwell's lenses aren't image stabilized......he holds the earth still before he clicks the shutter.

Ken Rockwell once shot in the golden hour for three weeks straight.

There is no such thing as automatic exposure metering, Ken Rockwell just bends the light in front of your camera.

Ken Rockwell is the only photographer to successfully shoot at F0

Ken Rockwell once processed a RAW format image with a slide rule in 14 seconds.

Ken Rockwell shot large format through a Fisher Price View-Master and got an image.


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## Flash Harry (Dec 3, 2010)

I bet Ken is worth a fortune, his marketing is shear genius, wish I could get the free publicity you lot give him. H


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## Ub3rdoRK (Dec 3, 2010)

I guess I don't understand why everyone hates him. Is it because he shoots nikon or am I missing something?


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## white (Dec 3, 2010)

Would it be going out on a limb to say he's kinda like the Thomas Kinkade of photography?


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## Chamelion 6 (Dec 3, 2010)

Ub3rdoRK said:


> I guess I don't understand why everyone hates him. Is it because he shoots nikon or am I missing something?


 
I can't say I hate the guy, mostly I just ignore him.

His stuff is just mostly over saturated compositionally uninteresting snapshots.  That's my opinion.  I'm simply not drawn to his stuff.  It's not bad, it's just plain boring.  Kind of like a TV dinner version of fine quisine.  :meh:


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## JerrfyLube (Dec 3, 2010)

Ub3rdoRK said:


> I guess I don't understand why everyone hates him. Is it because he shoots nikon or am I missing something?





Its because he spouts off total non-sense and believes it so much to be true that he made a website about it.  

He is a blathering idiot and not much more.


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## SageMark (Dec 3, 2010)

Good stuff!


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## Sachphotography (Dec 4, 2010)

JerrfyLube said:


> ............Its because he spouts off total non-sense and believes it so much to be true that he made a website about it.
> He is a blathering idiot and not much more.



Yeah and that Blathering Idiot makes a killing off his total Non-sense. While I may not agree with everything he says, his annoying cartoon like voice or his pure annoyances, the guy makes money off of what he says and people listen. There is one in every industry and he is ours.


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## jake337 (Dec 5, 2010)

He makes money. He's smart. Vince McMann of Photography, everyone loves to hate him.  Which in turn makes him money.


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## Overread (Dec 5, 2010)

Ken Rockwell shoots Nikon
Chuck Noris shoots Canon


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