# Help Needed - Please Advise



## JoyfulNoisePhoto (Sep 5, 2013)

Hi all!

I am an aspiring photographer - not yet professional, but on my way - and I have a question on how to handle a situation.

My step-sister got married in August, and she hired a photographer to shoot the wedding.  I asked if I could still take photos at the wedding for my own portfolio, and she ok'd that.  My son was a ring bearer, so we went to the rehearsal & dinner the night before, and I brought my camera because I don't usually go anywhere without it.  Her hired photographer was not there for the rehearsal & dinner.  I shot photos throughout the night, and all day at the wedding the next day.  I posted some sneak peeks on my Facebook page, and, with permission, blogged some of the better rehearsal and wedding photos.  Shortly after the wedding, while I was still posting sneak peeks, the groom's mom messaged me asking if I could post a photo of her side of the family, which I did, with my watermark, so that she could use it as her profile/timeline photo.  Now she has messaged me asking for photos of the rehearsal dinner (since the photographer that was hired to shoot the wedding was not at the rehearsal dinner), and is telling me I don't have to edit them.  

I don't mind giving her a couple images, but I'm not in the business of giving away my photos - edited or unedited - and I sure don't want my unedited photos floating around the world wide web.  I don't know how to tell her this without sounding rude or money hungry.  She and I know each other fairly well, so it's not just a random client that I can give the generic business answer to.  We have a bit of a relationship and I don't want to ruin that, but I can't just give away my profits.  I decided before shooting the wedding that I would not be giving away any images without charge since I was doing the wedding purely for my benefit.

Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!


----------



## Designer (Sep 5, 2013)

Give them to her for free.  Only the good ones.


----------



## Trever1t (Sep 5, 2013)

JoyfulNoisePhoto said:


> Hi all!
> 
> I decided before shooting the wedding that I would not be giving away any images without charge since I was doing the wedding purely for my benefit.



This line confuses me?


First of all, since you are not the hired photographer you don't need to take any orders. You can simply respond that when you have time you will see what you have for her. If you have a Zenfolio account you could post your images in a proof folder where they'd be viewable and secure (you set your own limits)


Certainly I would be straight up with her.


----------



## tirediron (Sep 5, 2013)

Mixing business and family (even extended family) will almost always end badly.  As you were not the 'hired gun' and you are being compensated (by virtue of the fact that you're being allowed to shoot and use the images in your portfolio), how much more do you want?  I would do a proper edit on 2-3 images and hand them over.  How much could you reasonably ask for them anyway?  I'm sorry, but I don't see how demanding payment in this situation will end any way but badly.  Had you been hired to do the job?  Whole different story, but you weren't.


----------



## texkam (Sep 5, 2013)

> I can't just give away my profits


You did this when you decided to do a shoot with no contract, no agreement, no understanding between parties involved. So what did you think was going to happen? If family sees you there with a camera they will expect you to share your pics, especially when you're posting them on FB. They don't understand your point of view and will think you're a b*tch if you don't acquiesce. Now, you can explain that you absolutetly edit every single picture for quality purposes, but you'll be happy to give her a high-res, non watermarked image of any shot/s she wants.


----------



## sm4him (Sep 5, 2013)

tirediron said:


> Mixing business and family (even extended family) will almost always end badly.  As you were not the 'hired gun' and you are being compensated (by virtue of the fact that you're being allowed to shoot and use the images in your portfolio), how much more do you want?  I would do a proper edit on 2-3 images and hand them over.  How much could you reasonably ask for them anyway?  I'm sorry, but I don't see how demanding payment in this situation will end any way but badly.  Had you been hired to do the job?  Whole different story, but you weren't.



^+1 that. And Trever's comment too.

Your original post says, "I asked if I could still take photos at the wedding for my own portfolio, and she ok'd that."  I don't see it mentioned anywhere that she (the bride) okayed you taking photos to sell. I'm guessing, in fact, that the bride would be under the impression that if she wanted any of the photos you took, she'd just need to ask, since you evidently never mentioned wanting to sell them to anyone.

The benefit to YOU is exactly what you originally stated--you got to take pictures for your own portfolio.  Since you were not hired for the wedding, nor the rehearsal dinner or anything else, AND since you are related to the bride and have at least some level of personal relationship with the person requesting the photos, I'd just ditch the idea of making any money from them. Now, if they want PRINTS, you could certainly charge them whatever the print actually cost, but that's about all I'd do.

However, there's NO way I'd give her unedited files, and I wouldn't feel a BIT bad about saying, "Nope sorry, the only person who sees the unedited photos is ME." I took pictures of my niece, her husband and their baby, along with members of both families (her mother and g'mother, his parents and brother). She loved what I sent her--her mother (MY cousin; yeah, okay she's not technically my niece...long story, lol) wanted to see the rest of the pictures. I said, "Nope, not gonna happen. Only *I* see them all." She threw herself a tiny bit of a fit about it, but tough. Better her throw a little tantrum than me give her sucky pictures that end up on the internet and make it look like *I* approved THAT message. ​


----------



## Designer (Sep 5, 2013)

Unless the OP's editing is not up to par.  We've seen that here before.


----------

