# This year I ....



## Luminosity (Jan 3, 2005)

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I better get crackin then , eh :shock:



Get your resolution here  ..... http://resolution.geek-foo.net/ and lets see it.

EDIT AGAIN : Now the link aint workin :roll: .. 

Hopefully it works now.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

Huh?!?!....well if yah need help?  Im sure matt would be more than happy?


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## Luminosity (Jan 3, 2005)

The code didnt work on here *and* the link I posted first time around was dodgy  ....

All fixed now


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

It gave me:
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Get the chick next door pregnant.
 :shock:


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to
		Fail all of my classes.


After a few hits of the refresh button to one that accounts to me!


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## Luminosity (Jan 3, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> It gave me:
> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> Get the chick next door pregnant.
> :shock:



*Moves away from Hertz *


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

LMAO! AHAHAHAHA!


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## John Orrell (Jan 3, 2005)

It gave me:
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Spend more time surfing porn at work. 

Some good resolutions in there!


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Becoming a mail-order bride.



You may have to change my status back to what is was before on your forum Artemis.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

LMAO!


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## Luminosity (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> Becoming a mail-order bride.



Gives ya my address 

Or would you rather scan and email yaself ?


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## Luminosity (Jan 3, 2005)

I reckon _Mail Order Bride_ should be ya new title


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## fadingaway1986 (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Pick my nose at stop lights. 


Riiiiight


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Luminosity said:
			
		

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Don't ask me questions like that. You'll only make me post something disgusting and perverted which will make everyone hate me. When someone like you asks a question like that, it's hard to hold back.



Oh, and scanning may be better. I'm scared of flying. I plan to only operate in the East Anglia region. If things take off I may set up a branch in the South.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

Dang...so no UK delivery?


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

If I can get to you by train, bike, car or low flying carrier pigeon, I'll be there. Delivery takes 12-14 months. 
Unless you want to e-mail you like Tina suggested.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

depends...does delivery cost? and if so, are you any good at it?

*guess I should of posted that in the Innuendo thread*


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Delivery costs £14.99 due to the size of the order. I don't know if I'm any good at being a mail-order birde, I'm just starting out. I idn't even know I was going to be one until a few minutes ago. 
I will give the first customer a discount, just in case I'm crap. 

So jump in while the action is luke warm.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

Ill take that offer...how much off?


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

Luminosity said:
			
		

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Can you move any further away from me than you are now?  :LOL:

And Ferny, you wait till you try stuffing yourself in that envelope


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

> Ill take that offer...how much off?


The socks are off.


There's sure to be instructions on-line Hertz. 
*types stuffing into google*
 :shock:  :shock:  :shock:


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

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Aren't you supposed to put stuffing into a turkey? Some mail order bride you are: you seem to be suffering from culinary thrombosis.  :mrgreen:


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## Corry (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Start smuggling contraband in baby diapers


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## Alison (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Wear more lacy black lingerie.


Done


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## mad_malteaser (Jan 3, 2005)

Eek!

In the year 2005 I resolve to
catch a sexually transmitted disease. 

Hmm, looks like I'll be breaking my resolution _again_ this year!


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

AlisonS said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> Wear more lacy black lingerie.
> 
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> Done


Which reminds me. You owe me a picture of Hobbes in spandex.


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## oriecat (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
make more enemies than friends


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

oriecat said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> make more enemies than friends



You can have mine if yah want, and ill have yours...as...I pritty much do that anyways!


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

AlisonS said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> Wear more lacy black lingerie.
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> Done



That is just going to ruin the effect of the skin-tight Spandex outfit...


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## aggiezach (Jan 3, 2005)

Resolution Maker said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> start spamming people I do not like.




Sounds like this one was meant for MD 


Zach


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## photogoddess (Jan 3, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Build up my chi.

 :mrgreen:


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## MDowdey (Jan 3, 2005)

photogoddess said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> Build up my chi.
> 
> :mrgreen:




i did that once...almost went to the emergency room...


md


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## oriecat (Jan 3, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

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But I don't want to have enemies!


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

I dont wanna fail either!


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

MDowdey said:
			
		

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That's because you used the wrong cement.


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## photogoddess (Jan 3, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

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OMG - I just laughed so hard... I just snarfed Diet Coke all over my keyboard. :lmao:


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

I like it when I get a woman all wet


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> I like it when I get a woman all wet



Put that in the innuendo forum! LOL


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## photogoddess (Jan 3, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> I like it when I get a woman all wet


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

Can someone explain that joke to me? Muhahaha!


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## aggiezach (Jan 3, 2005)

Oh no!


Zach


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

You see, Artemis. When a man loves a woman and he's bought her dinner and five bottles of wine he takes her back to his place. After a bit of heavy petting and fondling things start to get serious. He takes her off to the bathroom, they jump in the shower together and then his stabs her, repeatedly. The reason you use a shower is so the bloody doesn't go everywhere.

Ahh, love. :goodvibe:


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

> After a bit of heavy petting and fondling things




 :shock:  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:

EDIT: What things?  :roll:


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

> You see, Artemis. When a man loves a woman and he's bought her dinner and five bottles of wine he takes her back to his place. After a bit of heavy petting and fondling things start to get serious. He takes her off to the bathroom, they jump in the shower together and then his stabs her, repeatedly. The reason you use a shower is so the bloody doesn't go everywhere.
> 
> Ahh, love. :goodvibe:



 :shock: My parents didn't explain it to me quite like that.

(But then we didn't have a shower)


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

> > After a bit of heavy petting and fondling things
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Knobs.

You have to get that music at just the right volumn and tone for things to go smoothly.


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

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I think all these years you've been dragging your stereo into the shower. Didn't it's not eating much make you sus.... ah. Diet. Hmm. Easy mistake to make then.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

> You see, Artemis. When a man loves a woman and he's bought her dinner and five bottles of wine he takes her back to his place. After a bit of heavy petting and fondling things start to get serious. He takes her off to the bathroom, they jump in the shower together and then his stabs her, repeatedly. The reason you use a shower is so the bloody doesn't go everywhere.
> 
> Ahh, love. :goodvibe:



Can it go the other way?


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

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We have static ... shhhhh ... shhhh... you're breaking up .... shhhh ..... didn't get last message .... shhhh.....

Are you drunk Hertz? :?:


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

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It depends what "it" is.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

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Never mind...2 more questions..

1) If thats true...then whats this thing down here for.

2) Why do I find women good looking yet I want to apparently stab them 


p.s. I dont ever wanna fall in love again!


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

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Are you Alfred Hitchcock?


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

1) If thats true...then whats this thing down here for. 

That's your foot. Look, you've got another one next to it.



2) Why do I find women good looking yet I want to apparently stab them

Why do frogs explode when you blow into their mouths? It's just one of life's mysteries.


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Are you Alfred Hitchcock?

That's the sweetest and most confusing thing anyone has ever said to me. :goodvibe:


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

Does the woman die?

And so...the film psycho is actually porn?


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Of course she dies. That's the biggest reason for using the bathroom. The tiles make it easy to clean up after yourself. Then you chop of the head, hands and feet so the body can't be identified easily. Make sure you get rid of them by putting them in bags with heavy weights and throwing them into deep water.
You can use the rest of the body for food. IT lasts a surprisingly long time in the freezer.

And so...the film psycho is actually porn?

You sick mother f... shhh... static... shhhh.......


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

if thats true...then who is the mother of the child? and who gives birth?


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

My mother's maiden name is Bates. Could explain why I keep getting this urge to move to the States and buy a motel  :twisted:


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Ever thought of becoming a Jedi Master, Hertz?



f thats true...then who is the mother of the child? and who gives birth?

There are some sickos who think that the real way to make love is to have sex. Frankly this disgusts me and such people should be locked up. This "sex" thing is what produces babies, I'm told.


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## Artemis (Jan 3, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

> Ever thought of becoming a Jedi Master, Hertz?
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And how would one go about doing this...sex thing of which you speak?


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## photogoddess (Jan 3, 2005)

Should we even dare to ask how you "make love"? :lmao:


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## ferny (Jan 3, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex
Be warned, it contain scientific names for parts of the body. Like willy, and muff.



Should we even dare to ask how you "make love"?

It's one of those things best shown rather than explained. If you put round I can show you. Just let me know before hand so I can get some petrol for the chainsaw.


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## oriecat (Jan 3, 2005)

/me is getting a little freaked out :shock:


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 3, 2005)

photogoddess said:
			
		

> Should we even dare to ask how you "make love"? :lmao:



For Ferny it seems to involve a shaved dog, baby oil and a hi-fi...

In my case it involves a credit card and John Lewis :mrgreen:


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## photogoddess (Jan 3, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

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You guys are *too* much! :lmao:


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## Corry (Jan 3, 2005)

OMG!!!!   :shock:   

Holy Crap!  I need to quit a job or two so I don't always miss this good stuff!!! 

:LOL:


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 4, 2005)

core_17 said:
			
		

> OMG!!!!   :shock:
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> Holy Crap!  I need to quit a job or two so I don't always miss this good stuff!!!
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> :LOL:



Nah! All the good stuff is in another thread - we're only talking about deviant sex here  :mrgreen: 

So what is everyone else's idea of a good time? Oiling your dog, stabbing in the shower or shaving your monkey?


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## photogoddess (Jan 4, 2005)

Hey... did I miss something? Which thread has all the good stuff in it? :LOL:


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## Xmetal (Jan 4, 2005)

"Become one with my inner sociopath."

:?


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## LittleMan (Jan 4, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Start spamming people I do not like.
     









this is your last chance...
run..... :twisted:


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## Aga (Jan 4, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Make the FBIs most wanted list. 

:shock:


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## mentos_007 (Jan 4, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Make the FBIs most wanted list. 


yay!  I'll be a gangsta?!


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 4, 2005)

mentos_007 said:
			
		

> In the year 2005 I resolve to:
> Make the FBIs most wanted list.
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> yay!  I'll be a gangsta?!



You and Aga - you can become the Polish Mafia


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## tmpadmin (Jan 4, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

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HA!  My brother and I joke about this.  We would be called the Sopranskis.


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## ferny (Jan 4, 2005)

Yo! Wad up G? Wanna roll and get some burgers?


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## Walt (Jan 4, 2005)

"Eat at least 2 pidgeons a week"

Good, I can cut back!  uke-rig:


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## mentos_007 (Jan 4, 2005)

tmpadmin said:
			
		

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hahah be scared now! We will get you everywhere  we are looking only for dslrs and slrs so be aware  of Polish mafia  hahaha 
one day you can be ... shot... by my cam


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## airgunr (Jan 4, 2005)

In the year 2005 I resolve to: 
Fire my Boss

Looks like I'll have to fire myself.  I'm sure not going to try to fire the wife!


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