# How do you talk to girls?



## Artemis (Aug 21, 2004)

Just curious of how you guys talk to girls...how you apparoach em n stuff...havin a bit of trubs wanned to see what youd say.
Also If girls could post on how they like to be approached that would be gold!!!! LOl
sorry guys for the stupid post..but maybe you studs can help  thanks,
Arty.


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## MDowdey (Aug 21, 2004)

arty, thats not a stupid post at all.


sense of humor buddy, sense of humor. have one, sharpen your wit. the quicker you can get them to be comfortable around you the easier it will be. also, believe you have something to offer her. even if you have nothing, still pretend that she would be crazy not to go out. dont be cocky, but be sure of yourself. 

and when you have her, never go more than 12 hours without telling her that you:

1)appreciate her
2)love her
3)value her friendship


hope that helps bro, good luck.


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## StvShoop (Aug 21, 2004)

woooooa 

*leaves and comes back*
woooooa 

this forum rocks.
thanks md!


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## MDowdey (Aug 21, 2004)

thanks shoop.



guys, you should NEVER ever neglect to tell your significant other that you care. flowers and candy are good, but a serious look in her eyes and holding her hand gently while telling her that you are glad she is there with you will make all the difference.


md


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## Corry (Aug 21, 2004)

MD, you are giving Artemis some great advice.


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## Alison (Aug 21, 2004)

I agree with all that MD said. Just knowing that your partner WANTS to be there with you, enjoys your company and is happy makes me the happiest. A sense of humor is a great way to get to know someone, or if you share a common interest that helps too. But, most importantly, be yourself.


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## MDowdey (Aug 21, 2004)

AlisonS said:
			
		

> be yourself.




alison, i couldnt have said it better.

women have an uncanny talent for seeing straight through a gentleman if he is trying to be fake. trust me, be yourself.

md


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## Alison (Aug 21, 2004)

MDowdey said:
			
		

> AlisonS said:
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It's that X chromosome thing, we're gifted that way. But yes, there is nothing more disappointing than falling for someone who isn't genuine.


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## MDowdey (Aug 21, 2004)

AlisonS said:
			
		

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thats true for both sides of the chromosome. self confidence can take you very far.

md


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## Karalee (Aug 21, 2004)

MD your awesome.

If you wanna make a girl happy, have a great sense of humor. And hes right it always helps for girls to know you appreciate them


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## photogoddess (Aug 21, 2004)

MDowdey said:
			
		

> thanks shoop.
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Damn Matt - almost makes me want to ask you out for a date!!!  :shock:


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## terri (Aug 21, 2004)

I'd go out with Matt....  


Matt's pretty right on the money.   One word of caution: don't overdo the mushy stuff, especially in the beginning.   If what you're after is to how to approach a girl to "break the ice" to start dating, then "be yourself" is the more crucial point here.  

Once you reach the point where you _know_ you have a "thing" going on, it's okay to "up" the mush meter.   In fact, if you don't, she might wonder if she's "the only one who feels this way".        Then you might have to have one of those awful "how do you feel about me?" kinda discussions.    uke-rig:   Trust me, we'd rather avoid it, too, so don't make us wonder.  

And dates can be casual fun, you know??   Just hanging out is cool.   I'd rather, in the beginning, be asked to tag along if he had to go pick up some new guitar strings at the music store, than be overwhelmed with some pricey dinner and worry about clothes and having to make serious conversation.   Does that make sense?     

Stay loose!


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## Alison (Aug 21, 2004)

Heck, I'd date you too Terri  Really great advice there!


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## terri (Aug 21, 2004)

AlisonS said:
			
		

> Heck, I'd date you too Terri  Really great advice there!



Wanna come check out my camera collection, sweetie?


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## voodoocat (Aug 21, 2004)

Don't lay on any mushy stuff till much later.  In the beginning it's all about confidence.  Women talk all day about what they want but they're lying.  Confidence is the #1 thing you need to portray when approaching and talking to women.  

Challenge yourself to just walk up to a stranger and compliment her and ask if she'd be interested in going out and get her #.  The goal is not to get dates but to getting used to sucking up your fear and just going for it.  Try and do this at least once a day... The worst she can say is no and maybe laugh in your face... but no matter how bad you feel after rejection go right back to it.   

Once you get the phone # don't be so quick to call and ask her out.  There's no rule for a time frame, but let her wonder a little bit.


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## Walt (Aug 21, 2004)

I've been married too long, I don't remember anymore!  :roll:


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## molested_cow (Aug 21, 2004)

That's a great read..... but I need someone to "practise" with


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## markc (Aug 21, 2004)

I agree with Voo about the practice.
Practice pratice practice.
If pretty girls make your brain lock up, just start with saying hello to a grandmother in the grocery store. That's all; just "hi". Work up from there.

I don't agree with making her wonder. That's game playing to me, and I hate it. Just do things when the time seems right. If you want to go out with her, let her know. 

Communication is key. Being honest and upfront right from the start is the best policy. Otherwise the relationship starts out based on untruths and fiction.


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## deencarolh (Aug 21, 2004)

When she talks.... Listen!
"When dad is mad, no body cares - When mom is mad, the whole world knows!"


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## rangefinder (Aug 21, 2004)

with dignity and respect - always.


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## Alison (Aug 21, 2004)

deencarolh said:
			
		

> When she talks.... Listen!
> "When dad is mad, no body cares - When mom is mad, the whole world knows!"



Which reminds me, never let your mother brush your hair when she is mad at your father!


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## Geronimo (Aug 21, 2004)

Bah dont listen the what the others have said. 

Just do your best Johny Bravo and say "Hey baby"  Tis all it takes.

/joking


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## terri (Aug 21, 2004)

> I don't agree with making her wonder. That's game playing to me, and I hate it. Just do things when the time seems right. If you want to go out with her, let her know.



I would certainly view it that way.   Please don't ask for a phone # and then play some waiting game before you use it.   You are much more likely to get a very cool reception when you finally do.  

Remember, Voods baby, confidence can also mean not being afraid to show that you're ready to make a move.


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## voodoocat (Aug 21, 2004)

terri said:
			
		

> > I don't agree with making her wonder. That's game playing to me, and I hate it. Just do things when the time seems right. If you want to go out with her, let her know.
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Maybe I worded it wrong...  What I mean is you don't want to try too hard.  You don't want to appear desperate which is a sign of weak confidence.


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## Digital Matt (Aug 21, 2004)

deencarolh said it best.  Be a good listener.  Make her feel important, and interseting, and she'll talk and talk and talk   It takes a lot of the pressure off of you


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## manda (Aug 22, 2004)

Be interested!
and i dont mean in her breasts. Take an interest in her everyday life. The guys who've Ive always connected with best are the ones who not only "fancy"me but take an interest in the things I do.  That doenst mean you have to start doing the same hobbies, just ask her about things she likes doing.

Its all been said, homour, not being too arrogant, listening....letting your eyes wander around the room while she is speaking is one of the BIGGEST turn offs.

Yes to all the mushy stuff too. Dont bring it on too early or you will freak her out. Asking to move to near where she lives after 2 days is as good as shooting yourself in the foot.

Have confidence in yourself that she might actually like you. If she takes an interest in you and asks you about your life, its likely shes interested in you too.


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## Artemis (Aug 22, 2004)

hmm...Ive read every post and its great!
*takes notes*
1) My prob is...the...saying Hi...I just cant do...
2) Im ugly...it has to be said
3) I can generally make a group laugh, but they dont seem to be botherd
4) I do take an interest...they dont seem to be botherd and still wont like me 
5) I dont wonder my eyes...okay okay...but NOT while im talking to them, when im talking to people I try to keep eye contact.
6) Mushy stuff....I cant do...I aint a mushy guy...

But...even if I do all you say...girls just...well to be honest just dont click with me...I always become friends and theres no where to go from there....
I dunno....I also think im very picky.

Ohh and MD...you da man!

Edit: Thought id add something...Im in no was absolutely not even close to being confident...I come accross confident to others...but I aint...and girls can tell :O


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## starving4rtist (Aug 22, 2004)

Just found this thread...

My best advice is to be a gentleman.  Too many guys these days are real jerks to their girls.  If you treat girls like people, respect them, and do simple things like opening doors for them, they'll appreciate it.  I've been dating a girl for almost a year and I still open her car door whenever we drive anywhere.  The nice thing about doors is you can open them for anybody, not just a girlfriend.


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## Artemis (Aug 22, 2004)

Yeah nicely said matey, and Im a gentlemen as much as I can be


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## Alison (Aug 22, 2004)

Artemis, maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet. If I remember, you're about 16, right? Give yourself some time to get to know who you are, the teenage years are rife with change. Heck, even at 25 I'm not entirely sure who I am or what I want to do with my life. Friendships that develop into romances are usually the best kind to have so it sounds like you're on the right track.


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## Corry (Aug 22, 2004)

Well, Artemis, I wouldn't say you are ugly.  That's you in your avatar, right?  You're adorable!  So stop being so down on yourself and you'll do fine!

MD, how bout taking a trip to Illinois and talk some sense into my boyfriend???


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## MDowdey (Aug 22, 2004)

core_17 said:
			
		

> MD, how bout taking a trip to Illinois and talk some sense into my boyfriend???


im not afraid, ill do it!!!!


 md


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## Corry (Aug 22, 2004)

Heh heh...we was sittng right next to me when I was reading this thread...so maybe it'll get a little though to him


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## Artemis (Aug 22, 2004)

lol...guess my thread helped.
Im adorable? AWESOME! LOl
As for waiting about...I dunno I just wouldnt mind having a gf...now that I have time....would have thought girls like photographers...


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## Alison (Aug 22, 2004)

Didn't you mention about doing some work for the drama club? Maybe there is someone there that would appreciate an artist  Most of the guys I dated in high school I met through after school activities, debate, volunteer clubs, etc.


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## Corry (Aug 22, 2004)

Hey, if it helps, I didn't have my first boyfriend til I was 21...the first one didn't work out, but now I'm with a wonderful guy, and I'm incredibly happy.  So just...be patient. Don't rush good things.


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## Artemis (Aug 22, 2004)

hehe yeah you gals right,  But you know...it would just be nice...but im also really picky for what kinda girl I like.

As for the drama group idea, I did see a girl I liked, and she seemd really nice, but she acted the same as one of my last girlfriends, and well...that ended really badly....someone spread rumours...anyways, I hope I do get to find some girl


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## mrsid99 (Aug 22, 2004)

starving4rtist said:
			
		

> I've been dating a girl for almost a year and I still open her car door whenever we drive anywhere.



 Good idea but not on the freeway!


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## mrsid99 (Aug 22, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> Yeah nicely said matey, and Im a gentlemen as much as I can be



 I've no problem with being a gentlemen, why even at work it says so above my office door: "Gentlemen"


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## Corry (Aug 22, 2004)

mrsid99 said:
			
		

> Artemis said:
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## Artemis (Aug 22, 2004)

lol, A bit worried where you have staff meatings? Do you use that nappy changing table has the conference table?


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## mrsid99 (Aug 22, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> lol, A bit worried where you have staff meatings?


 
 We'll never tell!
 (FYI, nappy = diaper).


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## luckydog (Aug 22, 2004)

Being in the military i have come across so many sayings and "rules" in regards to relationships. When you go away on a deployment two rules come to mind.
#1: What goes away, stays away!  
So if you see someone playing around while away, you can approach them, but nothing is to be said that can get back home where the other half can find out! (and i've seen lots of cheating on trips believe me!!!)

#2: Don't send 'em flowers when you're away!
Flowers sent to the other half is seen as a sign of guilt and that you've been naughty.

Doesn't really help Arty's original question but good advice is good advice no matter when it's given


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## luckydog (Aug 22, 2004)

Arty,
you've gotten heaps of good advice from the gang here. Which i am impressed about. Everyone has been really genuine and serious in responding to your questions (well done all, you have my respect). My advice is basically the same as a lot of the others...
Be yourself...It's easy to do, and you feel comfortable doing it.
Be polite, Listen, Show genuine interest in what they do or say. They know if you're pretending. 
Sensitive/mushy is ok but not too much or too soon or they won't hang around. Get to know her friends and introduce her to yours (but not the good looking ones or the DH's ). 
Get out there and enjoy life mate! Girls are just another obstacle life throws in front of you that you have to study to be able to conquer (ducking for cover ).


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## Big Mike (Aug 23, 2004)

My advice is just to be yourself (as has been said) and always be nice & respectful to all the girls you know.

For me, I became good friends with girls rather than just dating & breaking up.  Not by design...it just worked out that way.  After a while...most of the girls I knew were trying to set me up with friends & family of theirs.

That's how I met my girlfriend...and we have been dating for three years.


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

Big Mike said:
			
		

> My advice is just to be yourself (as has been said) and always be nice & respectful to all the girls you know.
> 
> For me, I became good friends with girls rather than just dating & breaking up.  Not by design...it just worked out that way.  After a while...most of the girls I knew were trying to set me up with friends & family of theirs.



LOl...that litrially completely what happend to me. Except they never find a girl for me.

I wanna thank everyone...and ive gotto get used to the whole "Speaking to girls I like" thing.
Lucky dog, thanks for your advice, and your right, everyone has been good and answerd really well.

Im gonna update you guys on my status every now and then, and maybe I may get lucky.
P.s. when does my Title change? By that I mean my rank? LOL


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## Big Mike (Aug 23, 2004)

Don't worry about it...the more you think about it...the more the girls can tell you are desperately seeking...

You are still young.  Just wait until you hit the bar scene...that's a whole new world to explore and get confused about.

As bad as it sounds (as advice)...I find that I'm 2000% more able to talk to girls once I've had a drink or twenty.  It's doesn't hurt if she's had a few as well.


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## Corry (Aug 23, 2004)

Sure, make an alchoholic out of the kid!


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## oriecat (Aug 23, 2004)

:LOL:


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

Actually dont worry, ive never ever got drunk....lol Im the kid who hasnt really done anything to rebel against his parents or teachers...dont see the point, Life rocks when your happy, so why pretend to be sad?


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## terri (Aug 23, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> Actually dont worry, ive never ever got drunk....lol Im the kid who hasnt really done anything to rebel against his parents or teachers...dont see the point, Life rocks when your happy, so why pretend to be sad?



Now, see?   You sounded very self-confident and certain of who you are and what makes you happy.   Keep this attitude as much as you can when you're around someone who interests you.   This is all you need, honey!  It's very attractive.       You'll be fine, I've no doubt.


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

Wish that were so...but I dont talk like that so much round most people because convos like that dont come up.
Im very definate about who I am...Its just...I sometimes feel other people think of me as a bit of a looser.
When I see people from my school that I know...For some reason I get really nervous and try to avoid looking at them so I dont have to talk to them.




> This is all you need, honey! It's very attractive


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## Chase (Aug 23, 2004)

And here is one more tidbit...not sure if it has already been mentioned...

Don't overthink things! Just do what feels right and, like what was said a million times before, be yourself. Expect some rejection, but realize it happens to everyone and its nothing personally against you. Rejection is a learning experience just like everything else, get to the point where you don't care and everything else will fall in place!


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

A post from THE chase? Im honoured


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## Chase (Aug 23, 2004)

Hey, I care about ya man!  8) 

Maybe I need to start theartemisdatingforum.com


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

Now that would be a site id visit


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## Karalee (Aug 23, 2004)

Id hope so :lmao:


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

But I dont even think that forum would help me


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## Artemis (Aug 23, 2004)

Update:
This girl has said shes found me a girl who likes taking pictures and is sweet.
She also likes swimming.
Thats all I know...


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## Chase (Aug 23, 2004)

The photography aspect is allllllllllllways a nice starting point! 

Just remember the phrase, "I am an artist!" hehe


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## starving4rtist (Aug 23, 2004)

Talking about photography is a great ice breaker too, at least in my past experience.


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## Alison (Aug 23, 2004)

starving4rtist said:
			
		

> Talking about photography is a great ice breaker too, at least in my past experience.



Mine too.


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## Corry (Aug 23, 2004)

~sniff, sniff~  Our little Artemis is growing up so fast!!! ~sniff~


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## Artemis (Aug 24, 2004)

LOL...im learning alot 
But how do you use It as an ice braker.


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## Alison (Aug 24, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> LOL...im learning alot
> But how do you use It as an ice braker.



Arty: "You know, I'd love to be able to photograph you. Your lines are just so beautiful"
Girl: ::Slap!::

Or you could try

Arty: You know, photography has really helped me to see the world differently. I notice the beauty around me more.
Girl ::swoon::

If you find the right girl just talk to her about how much you enjoy photography. If she doesn't know much about it offer to teach the basics.


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## Artemis (Aug 24, 2004)

This is getting more promosing every second LMAO


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## photong (Aug 24, 2004)

I'm saying this without really reading other posts because I don't have time.

Approach them as normal people. As if they're a friend. Except, say hello, intro your self with your name and ask theirs. As for further convo, hopefully before you do the intro you can have a few questions to ask her. So say if you've seen her in school and she's in a band or the drama club, ask about that. if you don't know anything about her you can figure something out. Like if you're at a park/bar (but you're too young for that I think?)/coffee shop etc and she's sitting alone ask her where her friends are. Or sit next to her like it's an accident and if she laughs (smiles, etc) at something, ask her what she's laughing and hopefully you can make a conversation from it.

Girls like to be complimented. Er, most girls. I do, but it depends what. I'm really shy, so keep in mind some girls are and telling her she's wearing a nice skirt won't sound very good. Eyes are a big one but it makes it more obvious you're hitting on them or trying to pick them up. Hair isn't so obvious. Same with earings or a necklace.

And then there are those girls where if you say and ask, "Nice shoes. Wanna ****?" They will say yes and do it. You don't need those girls because chances are, they're dirt mania and such as a person in general 

Of course this is my own opinion  I have 22 years worth of watching people make bad mistakes.

If you try enough times, you'll see what usually works and what doesn't.

Don't forget to ask for a phone number, or email address, etc.

Nice girls like nice guys *I find this is what's best because a girl who's into certain things will burn the relationship even if you are as well. it makes for a crappy relationship*. Most girls love to laugh and that's HUGE. So I agree, Matt's on the money *throws green bills his way*


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## photong (Aug 24, 2004)

> Arty: You know, photography has really helped me to see the world differently. I notice the beauty around me more.
> Girl ::swoon::



Exactly!  lol

You don't need a girl/guy who doesn't appreciate, and respect your interests. If say, they don't give you space do practice, and it hurts and breaks the relationship, then let it. It's not worth it. Trust me. I'm glad my boyfriend and I worked that out. It took a while, but I realize those type of things better now.

My boyfriend ALWAYS helps me with my photography. He even enjoys taking some pictures when we go places  I'm very happy with that. I've even tried drawing. I suck at it, but I do it anyway because it makes others laugh (and I post them in public forums too).


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## Artemis (Aug 31, 2004)

UPDATE:
31 August, 2004.
I smiled at a girl I liked today...
There are a few nice girls at my work, one may be about my age, the rest are like 20...


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## MDowdey (Aug 31, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> UPDATE:
> 31 August, 2004.
> I smiled at a girl I liked today...
> There are a few nice girls at my work, one may be about my age, the rest are like 20...




arty, go up to her and say this....

arty: "i just want to tell you that you are the reason i went through puberty"

girl: "slap"


hahaha

no really, go up to her and talk to her!!!!!!! good luck!!


md


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## SWFLA1 (Aug 31, 2004)

Arty - 

People generally like to talk about themselves... if you get her talking though, you have to genuinely listen to what she is saying...pay attention to her and express an interest in who she is.... this will give her a chance to express an interest in who you are....good luck!

Bob


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## Artemis (Aug 31, 2004)

I like I like....I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it...*chikens out* she could be alot older still and just look yunger.....


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## Alison (Aug 31, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> I like I like....I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it...*chikens out* she could be alot older still and just look yunger.....



Or she could be sitting there doing the same thing you are right now. Never know unless you try!


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## Scurra (Sep 1, 2004)

Artemis, don't sit back and do nothing or you end up wasting opportunities and thinking what if.

I'm sure others will know what i mean when i say this, but as an example a couple of years ago I was walking through a town near me and saw this girl walking towards me that I thought was gorgeous. I smiled at her as we passed and she smiled back and I got eye contact. That was all that happened.

And ever since then I have wondered about what could have happened had I just stopped and said something to her? It's the kind of situation that you might find yourself in once or twice in your life and it's bugged me for about 3 years now!

DON'T LET LIFE PASS YOU BY!

[edit] I feel I should point out that this wasn't just an episode of me letching over a woman  :roll: it was a weird moment where something inside me just clicked and there was instant attraction. It's not happened to me since.


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## hobbes28 (Sep 1, 2004)

Scurra said:
			
		

> Artemis, don't sit back and do nothing or you end up wasting opportunities and thinking what if.
> 
> I'm sure others will know what i mean when i say this, but as an example a couple of years ago I was walking through a town near me and saw this girl walking towards me that I thought was gorgeous. I smiled at her as we passed and she smiled back and I got eye contact. That was all that happened.
> 
> ...



I'll have to agree with this.  Especially the last line.  Life is to short to be looking back at passed up opportunities.


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