# Photographing the Wedding of an immediate family member



## chuasam (Jul 24, 2017)

Does having emotional ties to the subject help or hinder one's ability to capture good photographs?

Long Story:
My parents and brother have talked me and my GF into helping out and photographing my brother's wedding later this year. Hiring a pro Wedding Photographer wasn't in the budget as the couple could not afford to hire one.

We are both professional photographers but she's an equestrian/sports photographer and I'm a headshot/portrait photographer. We have both shot weddings in the past before deciding that it wasn't for us.

Are there any potential pitfalls when photographing the wedding of an immediate family member. Contracts? Problems of being too close to the subject? We have other relatives (uncles and aunts) who are retired Commercial and pro-amateur hobbyists and a well noted Bird Photographer (hahah). So that'll take care of the shots which my GF and I have to be in.

Just wanting to see if anyone here has any experience having to photograph an immediate family member. I'm probably going to encourage all my relatives to bring their cameras too so that we can be part of the festivities too.


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## Light Guru (Jul 24, 2017)

Well I would NEVER do it!!

Here are several things that could/will happen.

-You will not be included in any of the family photos. (You cant count on the others unless they are photographing the whole thing.)
-Being too close to the subject you can loose objectivity.  For example When people post photos of their children on the forum they often cant see how bad the photo is because it has their precious child in it. 


But perhaps the biggest thing that can be problematic is that is you screw up and don't do a good job, or even if they just happen to not like the photos.  This will mess with your personal relationship with them forever. 

Thanksgiving dinner just might become extremely awkward in your family for years to come.


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## jaomul (Jul 24, 2017)

Well hiring a pro might just be a great wedding present for your brother.

Tbh, I might do a wedding for a relation, but no way for an immediate relation such as a brother.


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## Light Guru (Jul 24, 2017)

I personally think its sad that your brother and parents would ask you to photograph the wedding.  

Its kinda like saying we care more about some photos then having my brother as a guest at the wedding. 

If you choose to be the photographer you will NOT be able to enjoy the event like you would just being there as a brother.


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## table1349 (Jul 24, 2017)

Let me put it this way.  I would start the letter this way if I were you......


Dear Abby,

A couple of months ago my parents and my brother "Bill" asked me to photograph my brothers wedding since he and his fiancee did not budget for a photographer and I do photography, although not wedding photography.   To make a long story short..........(You can take it from here)


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## chuasam (Jul 24, 2017)

I'm doing it...but I am the current Passive Aggressive World Champ. My dad was a commercial photographer in the 1970s. I'll be handing him a backup camera and he won't be able to resist using it. I'm not spending money hiring a pro for him; if he doesn't think it's important enough to hire a pro, it's obvious he doesn't care that much about the pictures. My dad also had his own brother (who was a medical photographer at the time) shoot his wedding *LOL* the photos SUCKED ballz. It's the family tradition.

LightGuru is right about losing objectivity so my GF is doing most of the shots and I'll be photographing the relatives. I'm also emotionally detached so I should be able to get the shots right. There are many high level photographers in the extended family that I can count myself being in the shot. I'm counting on there being a LOT of cameras visible in the images as a memory. I'm subversive like that.

I did not choose to be the photographer; they used family obligations to convince me. I can't afford to hire a pro - I spent that money on a fricking nice suit so that noone would mistake me for the hired photographer.


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## Light Guru (Jul 24, 2017)

chuasam said:


> I did not choose to be the photographer; they used family obligations to convince me.



Don't let others gilt you into doing things.

You chose to be the photographer.


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## astroNikon (Jul 24, 2017)

Have everyone wear a bird hat, and hand the camera to the bird Photographer.  S/he knows how to get birds in interesting poses so all should come out great !!    Just expect them to be shooting at 14 fps ...


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## benhasajeep (Jul 24, 2017)

Sounds like a family tradition.


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## webestang64 (Jul 24, 2017)

chuasam said:


> We have both shot weddings in the past before deciding that it wasn't for us.



This is why I do not shoot any weddings at all, ever! I didn't even bring a camera at all to my sisters wedding.


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## vintagesnaps (Jul 24, 2017)

I've done sports and events; I took pictures of my nephews sports. That I was glad to do and had fun with it. But, a wedding...?? 

If there are other various photographers running about the extended family, why not share the wealth? so to speak, share the responsibilities. You can't as the brother be in photos and take the photos - offer to do what you feel like you can do, see who else might be able to take some of the photos, etc. Figure out who can take pictures of what part of the wedding and reception. I wouldn't have this all on your shoulders. 

As far as having an emotional connection to someone helping or hindering taking photos, I don't know, seems like it's do-able. I just found taking photos of my nephews sports I could focus mostly on getting shots of him instead of taking photos of sponsor whatever thingies at games for marketing purposes etc., so I suppose it's a different way of taking photos. It was somewhat freeing to take photos of my nephews sports just for fun and my family (mostly my parents! lol) were happy to have the pictures just to enjoy. 

I can handle the pressure of getting the shot, catching the moment, shooting hockey, because I love it and have a clue what I'm doing. The pressure of photographing a wedding?? no no no no no! lol


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## chuasam (Jul 25, 2017)

astroNikon said:


> Have everyone wear a bird hat, and hand the camera to the bird Photographer.  S/he knows how to get birds in interesting poses so all should come out great !!    Just expect them to be shooting at 14 fps ...


Actually, he uses a D500 with a 500mm f/4 so this should be interesting.
My GF's primary lens is a 300mm f/2.8 VR II so that'll be a blast too.
My favoured lens is my 105mm f/1.4

Honestly though, I'm not really stressed. My GF is a really good photographer (and I'm in no way biased). She did their engagement shoot while we were all on vacation in Bali (and that's how this all started).
If we ever get married we'd probably shoot our own wedding.


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## idcanyon (Jul 25, 2017)

IMO, you are all over reacting. "Wedding" is not a 4 letter word. If you are a decently versatile photographer then a wedding isn't that big a deal, especially a free one where the couple has been warned they may get what they paid for. Being not much of a party animal, I'd be just as happy doing the shooting as being a guest.



Light Guru said:


> -Being too close to the subject you can loose objectivity. For example When people post photos of their children on the forum they often cant see how bad the photo is because it has their precious child in it.


That's mostly a problem when a new mommy buys a camera to photograph the new baby with no preexisting skill or ideas on what makes a good photograph. That's not the case here. Anyway, judging the photos comes after the fact and is the job of the newlyweds, not the photographer.

My concern for bias would be that your attachment is to either the groom or the bride, but not both--in this case the groom. You might tend to provide great reception coverage of the groom but only get the bride when she is with the groom. The size of the issue depends on how much you like your new sister-in-law. If you think your brother caught a good one then it'll be easy to do well. If you think he ought not be marrying her then you'll really have to work hard to cover her equally.


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## mwilson263 (Jul 25, 2017)

Personally, I'd rather be a guest than a "working" guest at a close relative's wedding, but you can look at it as an honor to be part of the festivities.  So long as you are able to step back, be objective & unbiased, and provide what they're looking for you shouldn't have any problem.

Just make sure you know what they're looking for - i.e. what are their "must have" shots.  Relative or not you should still have a contract in place that specs out each party's expectations and services provided.

And make sure to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with them next year.


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## mwilson263 (Jul 25, 2017)

mwilson263 said:


> Personally, I'd rather be a guest than a "working" guest at a close relative's wedding, but you can look at it as an honor to be part of the festivities.  So long as you are able to step back, be objective & unbiased, and provide what they're looking for you shouldn't have any problem.
> 
> Just make sure you know what they're looking for - i.e. what are their "must have" shots.  Relative or not you should still have a contract in place that specs out each party's expectations and services provided.
> 
> And make sure to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with them next year.



Oh, and I forgot to mention - if your GF is an equestrian photographer than she'll be very qualified to get a good shot of the "horse's arse" should one of the wedding guests get a little out of line. lol


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## chuasam (Jul 25, 2017)

idcanyon said:


> IMO, you are all over reacting. "Wedding" is not a 4 letter word. If you are a decently versatile photographer then a wedding isn't that big a deal, especially a free one where the couple has been warned they may get what they paid for. Being not much of a party animal, I'd be just as happy doing the shooting as being a guest.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Sounds like we'll be working hard. Nah we're no novices. My GF Cara Grimshaw Photography > redirect
My weakness is that I don't like being interrupted when I'm eating.


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## idcanyon (Jul 25, 2017)

chuasam said:


> My GF Cara Grimshaw Photography > redirect


I had a look at that link. Horses or not, that's some fine people and event portraiture. If your skills rival hers at all then the couple will end up very pleased with the results.


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## smarty62 (Jul 25, 2017)

I sometimes do weddings. But I also did one for family members (uncle of my wife). It went well but I wouldn't do it anymore cause I'm not on a single picture. I simply wasn't there. 
All the pics went well and the couple was pleased and thankful. That's all fine for me... but I only was on some - sorry - lousy digicam photos on guests pictures. 
When you're working, it doesn't matter cause you don't realize. You give your very best. But ypu will be forgotten in the future.

Just my 2 cents

Greets, Gerhard

Gesendet von meinem SM-G930F mit Tapatalk


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## chuasam (Jul 25, 2017)

smarty62 said:


> I sometimes do weddings. But I also did one for family members (uncle of my wife). It went well but I wouldn't do it anymore cause I'm not on a single picture. I simply wasn't there.
> All the pics went well and the couple was pleased and thankful. That's all fine for me... but I only was on some - sorry - lousy digicam photos on guests pictures.
> When you're working, it doesn't matter cause you don't realize. You give your very best. But ypu will be forgotten in the future.
> 
> ...



I'll make sure every relative with a camera brings one


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## astroNikon (Jul 25, 2017)

chuasam said:


> I'll make sure every relative with a camera brings one



It will be like a Press Conference then ...


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## chuasam (Jul 25, 2017)

astroNikon said:


> chuasam said:
> 
> 
> > I'll make sure every relative with a camera brings one
> ...



Hmmm I wonder if Spicer needs a gig as an officiant


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## chuasam (Jul 25, 2017)

smarty62 said:


> But ypu will be forgotten in the future.


You forget...I have a camera, my GF has 2 *LOL* (a pair of D810) we can always choose to just photograph each other.


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## beagle100 (Jul 25, 2017)

idcanyon said:


> IMO, you are all over reacting. "Wedding" is not a 4 letter word. If you are a decently versatile photographer then a wedding isn't that big a deal, especially a free one where the couple has been warned they may get what they paid for. Being not much of a party animal, I'd be just as happy doing the shooting as being a guest.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



right, always balance the groom and bride pics
*www.flickr.com/photos/mmirrorless*


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## chuasam (Jul 25, 2017)

beagle100 said:


> idcanyon said:
> 
> 
> > IMO, you are all over reacting. "Wedding" is not a 4 letter word. If you are a decently versatile photographer then a wedding isn't that big a deal, especially a free one where the couple has been warned they may get what they paid for. Being not much of a party animal, I'd be just as happy doing the shooting as being a guest.
> ...


I never learned how to do that in school 
having to photograph an immediate family's member's wedding is not easy.
I talked to our friend KC who is one of the best wedding photographers in the region and all he did was laugh at us.

Thank goodness we don't celebrate Thanksgiving; and even if we did, the Wedding is just 2 days before Thanksgiving in Canada


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## chuasam (Aug 8, 2017)

idcanyon said:


> chuasam said:
> 
> 
> > My GF Cara Grimshaw Photography > redirect
> ...


Sam Chua | Image Creator my stuff...T minus 58 days to the wedding.


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## Softgrip (Aug 12, 2017)

Sounds like a family tradition


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