# I got angry... nostalgic...came here...



## mmaria (Jan 25, 2017)

@limr you're a mod now!!!!??? 
That's just                               a wonderful surprise 

Hello people! Hope you didn't forget me   

Just had an argument with the guy who's trying to convince me that I need to get rid of Smena 8M. I don't quite understand how pushy is he! He says I'm just trowing my money buying the film for it and else ..... 
Oh I've just got one more message about " non worthy plastic film toys" from another guy... he wants me to borrow his good film camera and see what film really is. 

Why people don't want to let me use "plastic film toys"!?
Just let me be! 
If I want to try something, why would you try to convince me not to!? 
Unfortunately I can't ignore the first guy because he'll sell me some bw film which I can't fine elsewhere



(oh... I'm not sure but I kinda think that I missed you guys )


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## waday (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi! Who are you?


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## Gary A. (Jan 25, 2017)

It's Marija!  Bienvenido de nuevo.


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## astroNikon (Jan 25, 2017)

Welcome back.
and I still know nothing about film.
Yes Limr is a mod now.  but now *just* a Mod, but a *RED Mod* !!  (fyi, they couldn't decide to kick her out or not, so they just made her a mod   LMAO)
and she can knit quite well from what I hear.


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## runnah (Jan 25, 2017)

Our standards were lowered...I mean raised!


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## Didereaux (Jan 25, 2017)

mmaria said:


> @limr you're a mod now!!!!???
> That's just                               a wonderful surprise
> 
> Hello people! Hope you didn't forget me
> ...




Liked your stuff on the other site.  Look forward to some of it getting over here too.


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## limr (Jan 25, 2017)

MARRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIJA!!!!!!!


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## limr (Jan 25, 2017)

runnah said:


> Our standards were lowered...I mean raised!


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## Rick50 (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi Marija. Welcome back and look forward to your new work.


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## jcdeboever (Jan 25, 2017)

She's back! SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! 

That's a cool little camera, now I want one! They're cheap enough on Etsy.


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## astroNikon (Jan 25, 2017)

runnah said:


> Our standards were lowered...I mean raised!


raised?
you mean, razed !!


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## pgriz (Jan 25, 2017)

Hi Marija!  I've been away as well, and have come back to see old friends (even on the internet, one can be friends with people we've never met in person), and I'm hoping to see more of your work.  As for the guys, you probably already know, but the standard factory setup for guys is "full confidence, they/we are right, etc.".  There is a customization program, but the user interface is not intuitive, and one needs certain operator privileges to access them.  I know this watching my wife teach my daughters the basics of the GOS.


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## webestang64 (Jan 25, 2017)

Welcome back! And those guys know nothing...................at least your shooting film!!!!!!!  

And Congrats Limr!!!!!


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## weepete (Jan 25, 2017)

Welcome back mmaria!

It's good to hear from you again


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## 480sparky (Jan 25, 2017)

Howdy, stranger!


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## DanOstergren (Jan 26, 2017)

I came back to the forum as well, not too long ago. I never seem to be able to stay away from this site permanently even when I try (but still haven't forgotten why I left). Glad to have you here as well.

And screw what anyone else thinks. You're good enough that I think you can make a beautiful photo with practically any camera, so I wouldn't even sweat the BS these other photographers are sending your way.


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

waday said:


> Hi! Who are you?



Hi! 
... it's a tough one   



Gary A. said:


> It's Marija!  Bienvenido de nuevo.


Hi Gary.... I think I missed you, like, for real


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

astroNikon said:


> Welcome back.


 tnx! 


> and I still know nothing about film.


 neither do I...



> Yes Limr is a mod now.  but now *just* a Mod, but a *RED Mod* !!  (fyi, they couldn't decide to kick her out or not, so they just made her a mod   LMAO)
> and she can knit quite well from what I hear.


 omg!!!


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

runnah said:


> Our standards were lowered...I mean raised!


true!


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

Didereaux said:


> Liked your stuff on the other site.  Look forward to some of it getting over here too.


tnx


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

limr said:


> MARRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIJA!!!!!!!


love that RRRRRRRRRR sound  

Now when you're a mod... can we still be friends?


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

Rick50 said:


> Hi Marija. Welcome back and look forward to your new work.


thanks


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

jcdeboever said:


> She's back! SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!
> 
> That's a cool little camera, now I want one! They're cheap enough on Etsy.


   
yuuuuuup!


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

pgriz said:


> Hi Marija!  I've been away as well, and have come back to see old friends (even on the internet, one can be friends with people we've never met in person),


  I think I'm going to agree with that...


> and I'm hoping to see more of your work.


 me tooo 



> As for the guys, you probably already know, but the standard factory setup for guys is "full confidence, they/we are right, etc.".  There is a customization program, but the user interface is not intuitive, and one needs certain operator privileges to access them.  I know this watching my wife teach my daughters the basics of the GOS.


oh... I just thought "film guys" were smarter!


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

webestang64 said:


> Welcome back!


 Thanks! 



> And those guys know nothing.


 I think so too! Don't like their attitude 



> ..................at least your shooting film!!!!!!!


 will be... will be... I haven't been shooting anything for a few months  



> And Congrats Limr!!!!!


 yup!


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

weepete said:


> Welcome back mmaria!
> 
> It's good to hear from you again


thanks!
Nice to hear that!


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

480sparky said:


> Howdy, stranger!


Hi Sparky  
here's one for you


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## mmaria (Jan 26, 2017)

DanOstergren said:


> I came back to the forum as well, not too long ago. I never seem to be able to stay away from this site permanently even when I try (but still haven't forgotten why I left). Glad to have you here as well.


Why is that? 
I came here again because I missed a few people here and missed their opinion on certain subjects and because I'm stuck with my photography...so maybe tpf will help.
I'm also glad you're here, you're a friend 



> And screw what anyone else thinks. You're good enough that I think you can make a beautiful photo with practically any camera, so I wouldn't even sweat the BS these other photographers are sending your way.


 Oh Dan! Those are really lovely words... I need them... Haven't shot for a while... and there are many unedited pictures just lying around.... I'm kind of lost these days

....It's just they're so pushy with their opinions and telling me "what is the best for me" without letting me explain why I want to use those cheap cameras. I understand quality, cameras, films... but they won't let me speak my mind.
It reminds me of that digital talk "I want as many megapixels as possible"..... I just can't do that.


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## 480sparky (Jan 26, 2017)

If the gear you're using gets you the images you want, who cares what someone else says about it?


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## annamaria (Jan 26, 2017)

Welcome back Maria good to have you with us.  I was gone for awhile as well but I just can't stay away from all the good people on here.  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Overread (Jan 26, 2017)

It's a proven fact - no one leaves TPF!


Welcome back


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## terri (Jan 26, 2017)

Nice to see you again!   Welcome back!


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## 480sparky (Jan 26, 2017)

Overread said:


> It's a proven fact - no one leaves TPF!
> 
> 
> Welcome back



"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave..............."


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## Gary A. (Jan 26, 2017)

mmaria said:


> waday said:
> 
> 
> > Hi! Who are you?
> ...


LOL ... I miss you too.


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## DanOstergren (Jan 26, 2017)

mmaria said:


> DanOstergren said:
> 
> 
> > I came back to the forum as well, not too long ago. I never seem to be able to stay away from this site permanently even when I try (but still haven't forgotten why I left). Glad to have you here as well.
> ...


I'll tell you why I came back, but in private message.

As someone who is bipolar, I can oftentimes overreact in certain situations that hit sensitive nerves and then regret my reactions later, such as leaving a community that I enjoy being a part of. It's a difficult process to work on improving yourself, and I view my overreactions similarly to how I used to respond to negative critique and trolling. It's something I know is detrimental to myself so I work on finding better ways to react, or learning when _not_ to react, as well as learning to identify the difference between someone who legitimately helps you improve from those who enjoy discouraging others. It's taken me almost 7 years to let go of other people's negativity when it comes to my art, for the most part. You don't ever have to explain yourself when someone takes a dig at what you do. When someone legitimately has a suggestion for improvement that you agree with, take it in. When someone is just telling you what to do and making you feel awful, don't let it in. If you let it in, you won't feel good about your art and you'll lose your motivation and love for it. Just know that there are many people who adore you as a person and love what you do, including myself, and those are the people you should be listening to most because they actually want to see you make amazing photos rather than cut you down and discourage you. Those are the people who are going to give you the best critique because they legitimately care about how it affects you and your art. No one is perfect though. I too let the negativity in at times and get very discouraged, causing me to go months without picking my camera up and to avoid editing photos for very long periods at a time. Just know that you aren't alone, what you're feeling is a natural process of being a creator, and the motivation will come back. I hope it's coming back now that you're posting here again.

Long story short, I'm glad we're both back here and I really can't wait to see more of your beautiful work!


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## Overread (Jan 26, 2017)

DanOstergren said:


> I'll tell you why I came back, but in private message.



The first rule of TPF, is not talking about how much we bribed you to come back!




Ok its not the first rule, its the 3rd; but I wanted to make a Fight Club reference, but I'm too tired to do it justice.


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## snowbear (Jan 26, 2017)

MARIJA!!!

Welcome back!


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## mmaria (Jan 27, 2017)

480sparky said:


> If the gear you're using gets you the images you want, who cares what someone else says about it?


I agree...  the thing is in their attitude but I guess I just need to put up with it...


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## mmaria (Jan 27, 2017)

annamaria said:


> Welcome back Maria good to have you with us.  I was gone for awhile as well but I just can't stay away from all the good people on here.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


 Welcome back to you too then 



Overread said:


> It's a proven fact - no one leaves TPF!
> 
> 
> Welcome back


 lol
we'll see... we'll see



terri said:


> Nice to see you again!   Welcome back!


 Thank you Terri!


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## mmaria (Jan 27, 2017)

snowbear said:


> MARIJA!!!
> 
> Welcome back!





 just seen sm4him memorial photo challenge....  still think about her...miss her


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## mmaria (Jan 27, 2017)

Overread said:


> The first rule of TPF, is not talking about how much we bribed you to come back!
> Ok its not the first rule, its the 3rd; but I wanted to make a Fight Club reference, but I'm too tired to do it justice.


tell us more about the rules!!!


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## mmaria (Jan 27, 2017)

DanOstergren said:


> I'll tell you why I came back, but in private message.
> As someone who is bipolar, I can oftentimes overreact in certain situations that hit sensitive nerves and then regret my reactions later, such as leaving a community that I enjoy being a part of. It's a difficult process to work on improving yourself, and I view my overreactions similarly to how I used to respond to negative critique and trolling. It's something I know is detrimental to myself so I work on finding better ways to react, or learning when _not_ to react, as well as learning to identify the difference between someone who legitimately helps you improve from those who enjoy discouraging others. It's taken me almost 7 years to let go of other people's negativity when it comes to my art, for the most part. You don't ever have to explain yourself when someone takes a dig at what you do. When someone legitimately has a suggestion for improvement that you agree with, take it in. When someone is just telling you what to do and making you feel awful, don't let it in. If you let it in, you won't feel good about your art and you'll lose your motivation and love for it. Just know that there are many people who adore you as a person and love what you do, including myself, and those are the people you should be listening to most because they actually want to see you make amazing photos rather than cut you down and discourage you. Those are the people who are going to give you the best critique because they legitimately care about how it affects you and your art. No one is perfect though. I too let the negativity in at times and get very discouraged, causing me to go months without picking my camera up and to avoid editing photos for very long periods at a time. Just know that you aren't alone, what you're feeling is a natural process of being a creator, and the motivation will come back. I hope it's coming back now that you're posting here again.
> 
> Long story short, I'm glad we're both back here and I really can't wait to see more of your beautiful work!


Dan... this is really really nicely written. I'm reading it over and over again. And again I'm really grateful for the nice words 

I understand what you're going trough and I'm glad to see your constant improvement.

A few moths ago I bought a manual lens and adapter (Carl Zeiss Jena Flektogon 35mm f2.8 Zebra, beautiful lens) I was so excited to buy that lens for days...but when I got it I didn't feel a thing. I put it on the camera and pressed the shutter for a few times, in a room, and that's it. I haven't shot anything with it. I just left the camera and haven't use it since then.
I was trying to understand why. Why I suddenly stopped? I came to the conclusion that my main problem and the cause of this pause is that I started to do things without my heart in it. I started to do things just for the sake of learning them, because I want to learn as much as possible... but I completely lost myself in the process. Who I really am? What I really want to say/do with my photographs? Do people experience anything while looking at my work? Similar happened with my writing. I can't write a thing.
I tried to make "happy happy joy joy" photographs because everyone around me wanted me to do "nice and happy"... I stopped giving c&c because I couldn't be that nice anymore.... Met lots of new people but not so good photographers.... and else.

But on the other hand I found another hobby and I started to read books again. My eyes are well and I can read again. Both of those make me really happy...

I bought a film camera on Tuesday. Minolta something. Don't really know if it's a functional camera, I'll find out on Tuesday.  Tomorrow I'm going to a mountain/skiing and I'll bring 6d with me. I hope I'll use it. Doesn't really care for the subject right now, all I care for is that moment "picking up the camera and pressing the shutter". I need to do that... to stop the car, go out and press the shutter (oh it's freezing here!)


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## limr (Jan 27, 2017)

mmaria said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > MARRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIJA!!!!!!!
> ...



Always, my dear!! 

As for those jerks who won't leave you alone - just tell them that film cameras are more effective as weapons, as they are heavier and can do much more damage to a skull if swung at someone's head, and would they like a demonstration?


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## Gary A. (Jan 27, 2017)

mmaria said:


> DanOstergren said:
> 
> 
> > I'll tell you why I came back, but in private message.
> ...


When you're in a runt and have taken considerable time off from photography ... when you think you're ready to jump back in, before you jump, read the camera manual.  It will get you thinking about the camera, which gets you thinking about images and all the stuff you can shoot.

When I was a pro, I didn't have the luxury of taking time off.  I had to shoot through my runts ... I had to shoot through everything and still consistency deliver photos that met the expectations of those who paid me.  As a hobbyist, being able to not pick up a camera any time I want, are often as enjoyable as picking up a camera.


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## snowbear (Jan 27, 2017)

Oh, yeah.  Tell the haters to "bugger off."


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## mmaria (Jan 30, 2017)

limr said:


> Always, my dear!!
> 
> As for those jerks who won't leave you alone - just tell them that film cameras are more effective as weapons, as they are heavier and can do much more damage to a skull if swung at someone's head, and would they like a demonstration?




I'll see them tomorrow night... it'll be the club's photo exhibition and one of them will bring me some films I hope.

and... I'm going to have "attitude" with them! Can't let them win! (I hope... we'll see )


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## mmaria (Jan 30, 2017)

Gary A. said:


> When you're in a runt and have taken considerable time off from photography ... when you think you're ready to jump back in, before you jump, read the camera manual.  It will get you thinking about the camera, which gets you thinking about images and all the stuff you can shoot.


uh... reading a camera manual never gets me anything except desire to leave the camera for good  



> When I was a pro, I didn't have the luxury of taking time off.  I had to shoot through my runts ... I had to shoot through everything and still consistency deliver photos that met the expectations of those who paid me.


hm... there's something I realized while reading what you wrote... I put pressure on myself wanting to create something constantly but at the same time also not having a clear idea what I want with and out of my photography. 
When I realized that I'm lost and I'm creating something that's not me I knew I need a distance and the break.
There's something else too... the photo club I joined and some photo saloons, FIAP and such... I was so disappointed.... 
... and I'm trying to deal with the photographers in real life... 99% of them are vain and/or constantly talking about the equipment....and that 1%... I haven't met yet  


> As a hobbyist, being able to not pick up a camera any time I want, are often as enjoyable as picking up a camera.


yeah... I'm waiting that moment. I missed lots of good shots and I didn't even feel sorry... Now I am sorry for missing a shot... so... it'll be over... I don't know when but I know it will.


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## mmaria (Jan 30, 2017)

snowbear said:


> Oh, yeah.  Tell the haters to "bugger off."


will do! 

(we'll see tomorrow)


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## table1349 (Jan 30, 2017)

Bienvenue à la maison, mon ami.
Quand vous nous avez dit que vous alliez j'étais très triste, mais Maintenant vous venez, je suis très excité.

Nous saluons le retour


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## mmaria (Jan 31, 2017)

gryphonslair99 said:


> Bienvenue à la maison, mon ami.
> Quand vous nous avez dit que vous alliez j'étais très triste, mais Maintenant vous venez, je suis très excité.
> 
> Nous saluons le retour
> ...


merci! 
... that's almost everything I know in French


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## DanOstergren (Jan 31, 2017)

mmaria said:


> uh... reading a camera manual never gets me anything except desire to leave the camera for good


Same, lol. I've never been a fan of Non-fiction. 


On another note @mmaria , I know it may sound cheesy and too simple of a solution, but stay optimistic. A positive outlook can do really amazing things, even if sometimes you have to force it.  

Also, I find a lot of inspiration and reference from this site. Maybe it could help inspire you too. Fashion Editorials


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## table1349 (Jan 31, 2017)

mmaria said:


> gryphonslair99 said:
> 
> 
> > Bienvenue à la maison, mon ami.
> ...


Ah French is easy.  Let me Teach You.


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## mmaria (Feb 1, 2017)

DanOstergren said:


> Same, lol. I've never been a fan of Non-fiction.
> 
> 
> On another note @mmaria , I know it may sound cheesy and too simple of a solution, but stay optimistic. A positive outlook can do really amazing things, even if sometimes you have to force it.
> ...


thank you


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## mmaria (Feb 1, 2017)

gryphonslair99 said:


> Ah French is easy.  Let me Teach You.


 of course!


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## table1349 (Feb 1, 2017)

mmaria said:


> gryphonslair99 said:
> 
> 
> > Ah French is easy.  Let me Teach You.
> ...


And now you are fluent in French.  Would you like me to teach you German next or Italian?  

With my age and up bringing I can teach you Latin without Google Translation.


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## droaingsong (Feb 2, 2017)

gryphonslair99 said:


> mmaria said:
> 
> 
> > gryphonslair99 said:
> ...


And German from me


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