# how to be a good friend in this situation? need opinions



## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

Yes, I want you to help me with your opinion/advice... and yes, it'll be a long post... just skip it if you're not in a mood for reading

I'm in my office now and there's no f.ing chance I could say all this out loud and ask someone for advice... and I do need it... like really, I can't be objective in this situation.
I'll try to simplify things as much as I could. 

So... how to be a true friend now and how to say non pleasant things in a pleasant way?

Friends involved:

*friend M* and *friend R*

*Friend M: *I've known her for all my life. We use to live in the same building. We were close in a different periods of our life. Sometimes we wouldn't see each other for a year or two, but when we meet again we immediately start to see each other regularly. She knew every significant happening in my life and vice verse. A good friend. She is a good looking blond, always wearing makeup, cleavage and a smile. Always full of energy.

*Friend R:* I've known her since I was 14. I lived with her when we were in high school and some time while we were studying at university. I would go to her when I needed to remind myself of some boundaries. We're as close as friends can be. She is one of those good people, always doing right things, learning a lot. Had one bf and got married to him. Black hair, glasses and not that good looking. 

*I love both of girls deeply and I react very emotional when they're in a trouble.* 

They both live in the same city, about 500 000 people, and in a different state than me now. They know each other just trough my stories and maybe they met one time or two but I can't exactly remember.

*R:* Got married three years ago to *S*, they were together for about 10 years. They had a girl which is now 2,5 yo. Got "divorced" (they're still married but he moved out) because all of the sudden he cheated on her and after decided he wants to live and see other people. He was a complete jerk while she was trying to keep her family together. She was/still is without the job and completely depended on him financially.. She has no one to turn to. It's been really tough for her for these past few months. Unfortunately, my support was only trough telephone, messages and Skype, because we don't live in the same country anymore.
I've never liked S. 

*M:* The last bf* Srd*. They were together for 4 years. Got married. Got pregnant. Gave a birth to a girl which is now 14 months old. After she gave birth she snapped. Manic depression, schizophrenia of some kind and lots more.... She didn't want to use medications because she wanted to breastfeed.
I have to mention here that she went trough the similar "episode" 5 years ago and she was hospitalized for about 6 months. Srd knew about it, but never really had a chance to see symptoms because she controlled her conditions with medications.

Back to present.... After she gave birth, she started to show severe symptoms and have all sorts of episodes... She cut her hair awfully, colored it  differently, wore smeared makeup.. she would lock herself and the baby up in the bathroom and call me to call the police and tell them that Srd wants to take her baby. She would threaten she'll toss the baby if her mother come... she would text us really horrible messages about wanting her mother to be dead (she has a fixation about her mother)... and so on... A few times she was taken by force by police and ER but released after medicating her. Her family was trying to help. His family was in a complete shock. They've never had any experience with these kind of situations and they didn't know about her history. It was a really difficult period for me also because it's not easy to speak with her on the phone or skype, listen about horrible things she had in her head and know I can't help... 
After two weeks or so she got hospitalized. Doctors were trying to diagnose her condition again and they just couldn't find a proper combinations of medicine. She was in a miserable state for a few months there. She never got to see her baby there. She got released after 6-7 months or so. 
Srd divorced her and little girl is with him. She gets to see her three times a week now....

I was checking my fb because I run a page for my job and I saw that she messaged me. She looks ok now. She's blond again... back to wearing makeup and looking good.
She told me a few basic things and ..* "Oh yeah.. I forgot to tell you... I'm seeing S, and we have a nice time together."* (yeah, S, my friend R's ex hb!out of all people there they got together!!!)

I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do.... I feel obligated to tell that to R but I know she'll be crushed... I don't know what to respond to M either... I'm reacting emotionally... it's not easy....  

What would you do? 

... I just know that I can't not tell R..


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## runnah (Aug 13, 2014)

I suggest moving to Northern Maine and forgoing all human interaction!

Wait that is my plan...

But seriously I would tell your friend in person. That way she has someone to help deal with any feelings that come up. I'd rather find out from a friend than find out by seeing them out at a cafe or something.


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## gsgary (Aug 13, 2014)

I would just tell here that M is ****ing R then change address and phone number


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

runnah said:


> I suggest moving to Northern Maine and forgoing all human interaction!
> 
> Wait that is my plan...


 first smile today, thanks



runnah said:


> But seriously I would tell your friend in person. That way she has someone to help deal with any feelings that come up. I'd rather find out from a friend than find out by seeing them out at a cafe or something.


yes, that would be my choice because I know it will be emotional... but the trouble is... I wont see any of them in person. I'm in another state and not planning to go in their city any time sooner


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

gsgary said:


> I would just tell here that M is ****ing R then change address and phone number


 not in a mood for dealing with this. If you don't have anything nice to say pleas don't post here


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## Overread (Aug 13, 2014)

Wait if I get the story right R was married to S and is now in effect divorced without the paperwork. 

M is now dating S

Why are you telling R? It's my impression that R is aware that S is dating and seeing other women, hence his reason for no longer living with her. That you happen to know one of his new dates isn't really important to R. 

If anything it should be M that you're considering telling since if she's a history of mental instability its likely that someone who's potentially (at least from the tiny info we have here) a playboy and will only be interested in the short term could be a bad thing for her. 

That said love can be very blind so it could be that no matter what you'd say M would not see the faults in S or not believe the potential future pitfall. Further that they live a long way away and go through daily social life that you're not involved with its further hard for you to "butt into" their relationship and badmouth one partner to the other. (there is also a chance that S has changed or that the story from R is not fully complete - there are always at least two sides to a story). This maybe a case where you can only give a light warning to M and then just have to be there to help pick up the parts once/if S leaves her. 

Of course M might want short term, no strings - its impossible for me to say as to what she wants from a relationship.


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## gsgary (Aug 13, 2014)

Why, they are just going to cause you grief,  I would just forget about them and let them get on with it, that what I would do I wouldn't let anyone else's life stress me out


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## SnappingShark (Aug 13, 2014)

In my opinion, you have no obligation to any of them... they are adults and can do what they like.
If it's brought up in conversation then by all means mention it - but otherwise, no need to.

Like somebody already said - they're separated. Just like dating X - somebody else.


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## waday (Aug 13, 2014)

But you do have an obligation to both of them--you've been friends a long time. 

If it were me, I would tell M that you don't support her relationship with S (because of...). Leave it at that. Then, tell R that M told you she's dating S and you told M you didn't agree with it. You don't know any additional information about the M/S relationship and S can date whoever he wants, so leave it at that. Of course, you can help R through the process (assuming she'll be hurt/mad/etc), but, if it were me, I wouldn't take sides (i.e., trash R to M or M to R).


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## robbins.photo (Aug 13, 2014)

Ok, this is a tough situation and I know you really want to protect R from S.

But a couple of things to seriously consider before you charge in, guns blazing.

One, you are not R's parent or legal gaurdian and you run a very high risk of crossing that line which R will most likely not appreciate no matter what your intent was originally.

Two, and this one is even tougher, you need to consider the fact that there are two sides to every story, and from the sounds of things in regards to S you may not have both sides.  Sounds like most of what you know came from his ex, and while I have little doubt that it was all true from her perspective it is just that, all from her perspective.  It is very possible that there was a lot more going on between S and his ex than what you know.

So if it were me I would be very careful in approaching this with R, probably tell her that you know S's ex and that you have some concerns and then let her make up her own mind and support her even if she decides to keep seeing him.


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## Designer (Aug 13, 2014)

Don't tell R.  Why you would want to do that is a mystery to me.  This should be none of your business.  Of course; I'm a guy, and we look at things differently, so consider the source.


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## Derrel (Aug 13, 2014)

She might already know? Either way, I'm not sure you are "obligated" to tell her. I in fact think you might NOT want to tell her. She will find out in due time.


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## sm4him (Aug 13, 2014)

Overread said:


> Wait if I get the story right R was married to S and is now in effect divorced without the paperwork.
> 
> M is now dating S
> 
> Why are you telling R? It's my impression that R is aware that S is dating and seeing other women, hence his reason for no longer living with her. That you happen to know one of his new dates isn't really important to R.



In a very rational, practical sense, you are absolutely correct, Over. The problem is that a "rejected" woman may just be neither rational nor practical. R is still technically married to this guy who essentially rejected her and has started dating other women (instead of either working on the marriage he's in, or officially getting out).  That leaves R in a very difficult emotional place, and emotional women are often NOT rational women. 

Maria:

M is the one I'd be MOST concerned about here. I wouldn't tell R, at least not immediately.
But if M was my friend, I'd definitely have some concerns. Does M *know* that S is still technically married (whether she knows WHO he is married to is inconsequential, to her)?  If she already knows this, then there's not much you can do, other than just share your concern. I'd just say something like, "You know I love you, and I want the very best for you. For that reason, I need to say this, and I hope you will hear my heart. I am concerned about your relationship with S, because if he already left one woman, who he is still married to, and is seeing other women, I suspect that he has no sense of real commitment and will, sooner rather than later, leave you for someone else as well. I'd hate to see you go through that kind of hurt. Please just consider what I'm saying before you get too involved with him." Or something along that line&#8230; a gentle, but honest, statement of concern is all you can really give here, though. Despite her emotional issues, she's an adult and the decision to look at this objectively must be hers.

As for R, if SHE brings him up, I'd be honest about the fact that you've discovered he is dating M. But if R doesn't bring it up, I wouldn't either, not for now. You have no idea whether the relationship between M and S is going to last for any time at all, so just wait and at least see how it seems to be playing out before you decide whether you need to talk to R about it.


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## robbins.photo (Aug 13, 2014)

sm4him said:


> and emotional women are often NOT rational women.



Umm... er... well....

Ya, ok, going with a no comment on that one.  Lol


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## otherprof (Aug 13, 2014)

M: "Oh yeah . . . I forgot to tell you . . . I'm seeing S, and we have a nice time together."
You: "You don't mean R's husband, do you?"

Then you would find out what she thought she was getting into. Then you could ponder what to do. Which might be nothing. 
What would you do if she melted down on the phone?


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## robbins.photo (Aug 13, 2014)

sm4him said:


> Overread said:
> 
> 
> > Wait if I get the story right R was married to S and is now in effect divorced without the paperwork.
> ...



Ok, so is it M that is now dating S?  I thought it was R that was dating S and M was married to him before.  Geez... no wonder I sucked so bad at algebra...   Lol


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## SnappingShark (Aug 13, 2014)

otherprof said:


> What would you do if she melted down on the phone?



Hello? Hello? Yeah ... I'm ... I'm about to go through a tunnel - losing signal here ...


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## runnah (Aug 13, 2014)

mmaria said:


> yes, that would be my choice because I know it will be emotional... but the trouble is... I wont see any of them in person. I'm in another state and not planning to go in their city any time sooner



Well if that is the case I would claim ignorance on the whole subject. But she would be pissed if you found out you knew but didn't tell her.

It's a lose/lose situation.


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## sm4him (Aug 13, 2014)

robbins.photo said:


> sm4him said:
> 
> 
> > Overread said:
> ...



You actually made me go back and re-read the first post, thinking maybe I'd got it wrong. CURSES!!! :lmao:



runnah said:


> mmaria said:
> 
> 
> > yes, that would be my choice because I know it will be emotional... but the trouble is... I wont see any of them in person. I'm in another state and not planning to go in their city any time sooner
> ...



So, if you decide you absolutely MUST tell R: "Hey, listen, don't shoot the messenger, because it's not like I had anything to do with this, BUT&#8230;"

But, yeah, I still wouldn't mention it to her unless it starts to look like it's going to be more than just a few dates.


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## gsgary (Aug 13, 2014)

I can't believe someone would even ask what to do on the Internet


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## bentcountershaft (Aug 13, 2014)

My only concern would be whether you think the unstable one could potentially be a threat (physical or otherwise) to the other.  (Sorry not going to confuse myself with the initials)  Other than that I would stay out of it.


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## Designer (Aug 13, 2014)

sm4him said:


> M is the one I'd be MOST concerned about here.



M is needful, prone to depression, and playing with fire.  This girl needs help, but I'm not sure you're the one to offer it.


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## BananaRepublic (Aug 13, 2014)

It seems to me that you are the only thing that links these two women. If you mention to either of them that you are now shacked up with, thats the way they might see it, the guy who ruined there lives, as they see it, then you will get blow back.  Why say anything


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## Virgil (Aug 13, 2014)

I'd stay out of it, i hate soap operas. You'll just end up pissing everybody off.


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## JacaRanda (Aug 13, 2014)

gsgary said:


> I can't believe someone would even ask what to do on the Internet



It's possible that she would get more unbiased opinions than anywhere else.


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## JacaRanda (Aug 13, 2014)

The only thing I am confused about is why you decribed them physically.


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## vintagesnaps (Aug 13, 2014)

I think I would have a hard time knowing something and not saying anything, at least I probably couldn't pretend I didn't know who the guy was. And if somehow your friend finds out later from someone else, she might not be happy you knew all the time and never told her.

However things can be said tactfully and in a caring way. If you say something I'd probably try to keep to the facts and not give opinions (like what you think of him). 

Maybe starting out just saying that you know who he is might be all you need to say at first. Her response might tell you how much he's told her so far (depending on how long they've been dating). See what she says, then at most maybe keep it to saying you knew he'd gotten married to a friend of yours a few years ago but they've since separated; you don't have to get into the specifics (it's a friend that lives far enough away that you don't see regularly). Anyway I'd let her be the one to ask him about it; she might already know he was married and is separated but not yet divorced.

It's unfortunate it involves the friend who's had past emotional health issues. Seems like both of them will have some of their past to talk about at some point, but you probably don't know yet how much either one has told the other. It might be best to leave it to her to find out more from him and eventually she might ask questions if/when she's ready and wants to know more.


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## limr (Aug 13, 2014)

A lot of people are looking at this from only one point of view: what's easiest or most convenient. But like runnah said - what about the perspective of the people actively involved in the situation? If a friend of mine knew that much about a man that I started dating but didn't tell me, I'd be hurt and pissed. Doesn't she care enough about me to mention that my new boyfriend is still married?

Yes, I do think something needs to be said. A person doesn't just throw their friends into Thunderdome and then continue happy times with the one who makes it out alive. Friendship isn't only about good times, and life gets messy. Friends shouldn't abandon each other for their own convenience until everything isn't messy anymore. That doesn't mean a person should sacrifice everything to solve a friend's problem, but Maria is watching a situation unfold that could get very messy, and if saying something to the people involved could possibly save some heartache, then why should she keep her mouth shut?

Having said that, I do agree that the approach should be a more casual one. I've always hated it when someone sits me down with that serious, "Look, I'm only telling this because I love you and am thinking of your best interests..." kind of intro. It always makes me feel like the person thinks I'm a child or a moron and can't handle hearing a negative opinion about something. It might be intended as a caring thing to do, but it could be interpreted as very patronizing and belittling.

Of course, M being emotionally unstable, she perhaps needs more hand-holding than I would need, but I still don't think that it requires such an elaborate approach. I believe it's appropriate to speak out to both women, but in a very straightforward way. There have been only a few times when I've expressed my negative opinion about someone's boyfriend and it was always quite simple: "I don't know the whole story and I am not making any judgments. I simply think he's not good for you and that you deserve better. You don't seem happy when you talk about him and the relationship might be causing more stress than it's worth. If I'm out of line, I'm sorry, but I don't want to lie and pretend that I see nothing wrong. But know that I'll support you in whatever you choose." And...done. I say my piece and then move on. (Unless they break up. Then I say a lot more  )

Of course, there are things we still don't know: Does M know who S is? If she does, the question is moot. And how unstable is she really? Could she cause problems for R at some point if S tries to break it off and M doesn't take it well? Then R needs to know about M.


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## limr (Aug 13, 2014)

vintagesnaps said:


> I think I would have a hard time knowing something and not saying anything, at least I probably couldn't pretend I didn't know who the guy was. And if somehow your friend finds out later from someone else, she might not be happy you knew all the time and never told her.
> 
> However things can be said tactfully and in a caring way. If you say something I'd probably try to keep to the facts and not give opinions (like what you think of him).
> 
> ...




I agree totally. Keep it simple. At first, limit things to the fact that you know him and try to find out how much she knows about him and his past with R. If she knows everything and is going in with open eyes and clear expectations, then there's nothing left to say. There's no need to express disapproval at this point. And maybe, there will never be need to express disapproval. Maybe R and S just weren't good together. Maybe you didn't like S because he was unhappy, and his relationship with M (or anyone else) will be a different thing. Reserve judgement. Right now, your only concern is making sure that certain cards are on the table to people can at least make informed decisions.


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## robbins.photo (Aug 13, 2014)

limr said:


> A person doesn't just throw their friends into Thunderdome and then continue happy times with the one who makes it out alive.



Umm... whoops.



> Having said that, I do agree that the approach should be a more casual one. I've always hated it when someone sits me down with that serious, "Look, I'm only telling this because I love you and am thinking of your best interests..." kind of intro. It always makes me feel like the person thinks I'm a child or a moron and can't handle hearing a negative opinion about something. It might be intended as a caring thing to do, but it could be interpreted as very patronizing and belittling.



So something along the lines of "Hey, did you see that [Insert Sports Team Reference Here] last week?  Oh, and did I happen to mention that I think the guy your dating is a two timing jerk from hell?



> Of course, M being emotionally unstable, she perhaps needs more hand-holding than I would need, but I still don't think that it requires such an elaborate approach. I believe it's appropriate to speak out to both women, but in a very straightforward way. There have been only a few times when I've expressed my negative opinion about someone's boyfriend and it was always quite simple: "I don't know the whole story and I am not making any judgments. I simply think he's not good for you and that you deserve better. You don't seem happy when you talk about him and the relationship might be causing more stress than it's worth. If I'm out of line, I'm sorry, but I don't want to lie and pretend that I see nothing wrong. But know that I'll support you in whatever you choose." And...done. I say my piece and then move on. (Unless they break up. Then I say a lot more  )



I agree, that would probably be the best approach. 



> Of course, there are things we still don't know: Does M know who S is? If she does, the question is moot. And how unstable is she really? Could she cause problems for R at some point if S tries to break it off and M doesn't take it well? Then R needs to know about M.



Yes. absolutely.. PDQ.


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## Tailgunner (Aug 13, 2014)

Overread said:


> Wait if I get the story right R was married to S and is now in effect divorced without the paperwork.
> 
> M is now dating S
> 
> Why are you telling R? It's my impression that R is aware that S is dating and seeing other women, hence his reason for no longer living with her. That you happen to know one of his new dates isn't really important to R.



This^


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## Parker219 (Aug 13, 2014)

Do you have any pics of the girl with cleavage?  

Just trying to lighten the mood.

I am brutally open and honest,  plus I have no filter, so it would be easy for me to tell s, m, b, c , a, r, and a green number 4 uno card whats going on.


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## runnah (Aug 13, 2014)

JacaRanda said:


> The only thing I am confused about is why you decribed them physically.



I find level of attractiveness crucial in my decision making process.


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## limr (Aug 13, 2014)

JacaRanda said:


> The only thing I am confused about is why you decribed them physically.



I'm not sure about R, but it seems that M's appearance is a clue to her mental state. If she's back to being blonde and taking care of her appearance, that could help understand if she is or isn't still too fragile to hear something negative about the man she just started dating.


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

First of all thank you for trying to help me! I really appreciate it.

A few more clarifications...

I described them physically because I thought it would be easier for you to memorize which is R and which is M. I posted here because I wanted really to have some objective opinions (Thanks Jaca).

I consider both of them as my closest friends. Being friends means being with them in good and especially being there for them in bad times. I'm like that...

R and I went through a lot together over the years and I already told that we're as close as friends can be. Not telling her is not an option at all. I just need a courage to do it. 

I went through less with M... considering what has been happening with her, 5 years ago and now, I'm actually one of the rare people who didn't leave her. Fake friends will leave when bad things are happening and mental illness scare out the most of people. She has just a few people that are still ok with her and family... and this last time she really made a huge mess.

R and S weren't in a lousy relationship, or marriage. S was always good to R and R was happy. S was never a playboy, well, until these past few months since he cheated on her. I spent a tons of time with both of them and there is no chance for me to see just one side of the story. R and I actually met S together. I didn't like him because of some things in his behaviour but we were always ok to each other. He cheated her in February and moved out in April. She was shocked because she thought everything is great, he was great to her and their child. I wasn't shocked, because deep down inside I knew that he'll do that eventually. 

M got released from the hospital somewhere in February too and got divorced in May. So everything is so fresh.

The only thing I'm sure about is that M and S were talking about me, in a sense that they figured out that they both know me. I know that's the fact because of the way she wrote me. Usually when she meet someone or we talk about someone we will send a link to his/her fb or show a picture. That's how I first saw her ex hb Srd. Now, she mentioned his name and surname and her writing was completely casual, like I know who is he. 
Why two of them would even mentioned me?... well, I and M grew up in the same town, which has a memorable name, and I'm the only person S knows from that town (and he only knows a few people from my state also)...until he met her... They probably brought that up while getting to know each other, like basic information "where are you from..." 


I'll see if I missed something else to mention.


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## pgriz (Aug 13, 2014)

I like Sharon's advice.  Also, it appears your two friends don't know each other.  The other aspect that I'm not clear on, is whether M's emotional state stabilized when she started seeing S.  If so, telling her NOT to see S may send her back down again.  However, if she started controlling her life and THEN started seeing S, then she should be able to handle a good friend's advice.  Dunno.  People freshly in love are all hormones and no sense.


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## limr (Aug 13, 2014)

^^Poor form and totally unnecessary.

(Edited: Directed at a now-deleted post, not at pgriz's comment. I don't think it's even possible for pgriz to write an unnecessary comment in poor form!  )


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## JacaRanda (Aug 13, 2014)

You have received some good advice and opinions.  Seems like you are just measuring the best way to approach the decision you have already made :thumbup:.

If mmaria was in R's shoes, what would she want me to do - If mmaria was in M's shoes, what would she want me to do??


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

pgriz said:


> If so, telling her NOT to see S may send her back down again.


 just to be clear on something else... I didn't mention I want to warn M about S, it even didn't cross my mind to warn her ot tell her not to see him. I wouldn't tell that to nobody!. It's something that has been concluded without me saying it... misunderstanding..

The only thing I want to tell M, is the simple truth, not indications, warnings, predictions about S etc. 

She is in a good state now but I'm not sure how good.


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

JacaRanda said:


> You have received some good advice and opinions.  Seems like you are just measuring the best way to approach the decision you have already made :thumbup:.
> 
> If mmaria was in R's shoes, what would she want me to do - If mmaria was in M's shoes, what would she want me to do??


If I was in R's shoes I would definitely want her to tell me and got seriously angry at her if she didn't tell me. Simple, that are friends for.

If I was in M's shoes I have no idea what I would like her to do or tell me. I can't even pretend to know how it is for her going through what she is going through.


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

limr said:


> ^^Poor form and totally unnecessary.


 I think you need to edit your comment because gary's comment got deleted and you're telling that to Paul now 

Thanks who ever deleted that comment!


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## limr (Aug 13, 2014)

mmaria said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > ^^Poor form and totally unnecessary.
> ...



Oops, you're right! My thanks, too, to whoever deleted it.


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## pgriz (Aug 13, 2014)

Well, since M is the one who told you of her relationship to S, maybe the only reply you need to give is to say "Yes, I know S.  He was married to another friend of mine, and as far as I know, still is."  Then it's up to M to either ignore this knowledge (which tells you she doesn't want to know more), or follow it up (in which case you again should be telling only the basic reasons).  The other aspect is that M may not be the only woman that S is seeing, and in fact she may be one of many.  By ackowledging M's statement to you, and responding to it, you ARE being a friend, without being judgemental about the situation.  But other than that, it's not in your sphere of influence.


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

limr said:


> ^^Poor form and totally unnecessary.
> 
> (Edited: Directed at a now-deleted post, not at pgriz's comment. I don't think it's even possible for pgriz to write an unnecessary comment in poor form!  )


 oh thank you Leonore for giving me a laugh!


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## mmaria (Aug 13, 2014)

pgriz said:


> Well, since M is the one who told you of her relationship to S, maybe the only reply you need to give is to say "Yes, I know S.  He was married to another friend of mine, and as far as I know, still is."  Then it's up to M to either ignore this knowledge (which tells you she doesn't want to know more), or follow it up (in which case you again should be telling only the basic reasons).  The other aspect is that M may not be the only woman that S is seeing, and in fact she may be one of many.  By ackowledging M's statement to you, and responding to it, you ARE being a friend, without being judgemental about the situation.  But other than that, it's not in your sphere of influence.


 I know for a fact that he's still dating the women he cheated R with.

Oh God!I've just realized that I completely disregarded this information!


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## pgriz (Aug 13, 2014)

limr said:


> ^^Poor form and totally unnecessary.
> 
> (Edited: Directed at a now-deleted post, not at pgriz's comment. I don't think it's even possible for pgriz to write an unnecessary comment in poor form!  )



Yes it is.  I just usually delete them.  However, you wouldn't believe the number of posts in notepad that were left unposted.


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## robbins.photo (Aug 13, 2014)

pgriz said:


> limr said:
> 
> 
> > ^^Poor form and totally unnecessary.
> ...


Well you could start quoting my completely inappropriate and unnecessary posts and then rephrase them so they actually sound smart and helpful...  lol


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## terri (Aug 13, 2014)

limr said:


> mmaria said:
> 
> 
> > limr said:
> ...



'twas I, and I apologize for causing the subsequent confusion!


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## pgriz (Aug 13, 2014)

robbins.photo said:


> pgriz said:
> 
> 
> > limr said:
> ...



Hmmm...  could do that - but creative ghost-writing and paraphrasing is a schedule 2 fee activity.  Will need your CC # & verification code for that.


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## robbins.photo (Aug 13, 2014)

pgriz said:


> robbins.photo said:
> 
> 
> > pgriz said:
> ...


Hmm..  do you like bananas by chance?

Lol


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## pgriz (Aug 13, 2014)

Love them!  But services are paid in bits of ones and zeroes to my bank account.  Which is fed by the CC.  But don't ask for any now - time to snooze.


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## robbins.photo (Aug 14, 2014)

pgriz said:


> Love them!  But services are paid in bits of ones and zeroes to my bank account.  Which is fed by the CC.  But don't ask for any now - time to snooze.


Ok fine.  My credit card number is easy to remember, its the same as my social security number:

2


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