# How do I stop caring what others think and take pictures for me?



## nerwin (Jul 14, 2018)

I really want to get this off my chest and ask for advice. 

Social media has really stressed out lately, more than probably ever at this point. I've become so addicted to getting those likes as validation on my photos that when I don't get any or not very much, I automatically feel that the photo has no value, it must suck and so I usually end up deleting it and sometimes permanently off my hard drive.

I know I shouldn't care about those likes and just take pictures for myself and not care what others think. That's how I felt when I first got into photography but social media has poisoned this for me. It's all I think about now everytime I go out and shoot, "will people like this photo?" and when they don't....man I feel bummed out. Almost like giving up.

I've deleted Instagram because of this problem and I felt better for a while. I never cared how much of attention I got on Flickr before Instagram and now it ruined Flickr for me as well. I almost feel like giving that up as well. 

It's not Instagram's fault or Flickr's fault. It's my own damn fault.

Giving up on these isn't going to solve the problem. 

I'm really lost on what I should do so I'm asking for advice. I want to stop caring about getting likes and stop caring whether or not someone will like this photo and just take pictures for me. What would be a good step in the right direction?

I'm sure there are others here that have had similar feelings and hopefully understand how I feel and if you did, how did you overcome it?

I often get asked the question "What does photography mean to me?" To be honest, I don't have an answer anymore. I've seem to have forgotten. 

Thanks for listening and any advice will be appreciated.


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## Dean_Gretsch (Jul 14, 2018)

Social media itself is the root of your problem. It creates the atmosphere that feeds itself. I have this forum and a forum for another hobby of mine. No FB, no Twitter, and no Instagram. This is MY life. I make myself happy. If no one else likes it, their loss, not mine.


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## nerwin (Jul 14, 2018)

Dean_Gretsch said:


> Social media itself is the root of your problem. It creates the atmosphere that feeds itself. I have this forum and a forum for another hobby of mine. No FB, no Twitter, and no Instagram. This is MY life. I make myself happy. If no one else likes it, their loss, not mine.



You're not kidding about the atmosphere.

I think the likes, favorites, follower counts are designed to get you hooked and addicted. If they didn't exist, I think people would be happier. But I don't think these are going away anytime soon.

My worst habit is constantly checking the websites over and over.


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## Gary A. (Jul 14, 2018)

Can you turn off the 'Likes' and the hit count?

When I was very active processing and posting often to my website, I was getting as much as 100,000 hits a month.  But I have to dig through a few menus to get to where that number is reported. Of late, I know the count is very low so ... but I have weaned myself from looking.  I haven't check my hits in over a a year or more. I am sorted over it. I think that by not looking at your hit count, over time it will become somewhat meaningless ... at least less meaningful to where it become easy to ignore.


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## Gary A. (Jul 14, 2018)

PS- I like your stuff.


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## Peeb (Jul 14, 2018)

It's dopamine. 

Social Media Triggers a Dopamine High

Your brain gets a pleasant jolt with each 'like' so you go back for more.  I certainly agree with the article.

It never occurred to me that I should stress when a posted photo gets no attention.  I just go snap another!   

Sorry to hear that this wonderful pastime is getting you down.


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## jcdeboever (Jul 14, 2018)

I am not an expert. For me, I just don't think highly of my photography. I felt the same way about my paintings too. I have a very high drive to create. It's the creative process that does it for me, not so much the results. 

At the end of the day, no one gives a crap about your photography,  your art work, or even you. I know this sounds harsh but it has been my experience. It is rare for someone to be truly interested in you or your work.


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## pendennis (Jul 14, 2018)

Since I stopped doing any photography for commercial purposes (weddings, portraits), my photography has all been self-serving, -pleasing, etc.  I do post some of my work on various blogs, and even on Facebook, but only if I believe it's the best of what I do in a particular instance.  If it get criticism for good or bad, it's what I expected by exposing my photos to the public.  The constructive I take with seriousness, the ad hominem I ignore.

I shoot a lot of film as well as digital, so I go through the extra step of scanning.  But, it's all about how I saw the image, and my interpretation.  Frankly, I couldn't care what a lot of people think of my photos.  If they hired me to shoot a particular scene, event, whatever, I'd worry.  Since my photography doesn't put food on the table, I'm quite immune to the comments of others.  I put a lot of my photos into folders for use as screen savers, and rotate them frequently.  I print, frame, and hang the ones I want, and my guests see them when they visit.  I'll even print and frame one as a gift if a friend really likes it.

I've seen thousands of photos posted on other blogs, and the majority of them look like grab shots from vacations or birthdays.  Not a lot of thought went into composition, lighting, and post-processing.  I know a piece of that is the human desire to communicate with others, and those viewing the photos won't be very harsh on the photographer if the photo isn't particularly good.

However, mass media gives a lot of anonymity to those being critical.  It's very easy to hide behind a screen name.  I do criticize others' work, but only if they ask.  People are making themselves vulnerable by posting images in public, and we're always at risk for hurt feelings when we do so.


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## Overread (Jul 14, 2018)

I agree that getting likes, watches, views, comments is rewarding in itself - there is a joy in the acknowledgement that others like what you produce; that there is a value (in respect/enjoyment) in knowing that others like what you do. 

It's one of those things that is half pre-programmed into most of us (through a mix of nature and nurture) and its part of what makes us human and is why we work so well in groups; because many people have a desire to contribute and better the group and their own gain within the group. 


That said there is a healthy and unhealthy level for this and it sounds like you've tipped teh balance into unhealthy. Now the reasoning for this could be varied and might not even have anything what so ever, to do with your photography (ergo its a symptom of another thing). Another could be self confidence in your own ability, which diminishes you power to enjoy your work for yourself (esp if you are a naturally very self critical person). 

Cutting yourself out of the system can sometimes help; it can at least cause you to change your behaviour patterns and actions and see if you can improve your overall enjoyment by shifting things around and approaching things from another angle. Another can be to set yourself your own goals nad tasks and projects to achieve things which are not reliant on likes etc...



I would honestly say if you are reaching a point where it is causing you significant trouble and you can't find a way out then consider some counselling support. Sometimes the right questions and viewpoint can help you re-evaluate what is going on and how you view the world and could give you some better tools to work through this. That would also work better if the source for this problem is outside of photography and likes (ergo its highlighting and underlaying problem that you might not be fully aware of).


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## 480sparky (Jul 14, 2018)

pendennis said:


> Since I stopped doing any photography for commercial purposes (weddings, portraits), my photography has all been self-serving, -pleasing, etc................



Same here.  I started out with photography as a hobby and enjoyed it immensely.  I turned that passion into a career. That took all the fun out of it.  So I chucked it all and did something totally different to pay the bills.

I now use a camera for me and me alone.  Yes, I still sell my work through on-line sites, but I flat-out refuse to do any commission work of any kind.


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## Fujidave (Jul 14, 2018)

nerwin said:


> I really want to get this off my chest and ask for advice.
> 
> Social media has really stressed out lately, more than probably ever at this point. I've become so addicted to getting those likes as validation on my photos that when I don't get any or not very much, I automatically feel that the photo has no value, it must suck and so I usually end up deleting it and sometimes permanently off my hard drive.
> 
> ...




I use to take photos for people to like and not worry, then I thought UP This I am going to start taking photos for my self only and if people like or comment then that`s nice.  My main photography at the moment is the singers/buskers, I totally love it and when I get them telling me they are chuffed someone is doing that, so it just makes me well chuffed even though I am taking them for me.


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## Derrel (Jul 14, 2018)

nerwin said:


> Dean_Gretsch said:
> 
> 
> > Social media itself is the root of your problem. It creates the atmosphere that feeds itself. I have this forum and a forum for another hobby of mine. No FB, no Twitter, and no Instagram. This is MY life. I make myself happy. If no one else likes it, their loss, not mine.
> ...



Well...you asked how to stop caring what others think.Answer: STOP the behavior that causes you to feel the need for Likes and Shares and Followers. Social media is based on likes, follows,shares,re-tweets,etc, depending on the platform. So...if you want to stop the bad feelings, then either 1) go all-out and hashtag the heck out of your Instagram posts, and spend an hour a day liking and following new people, and really,really,really "work" the IG system or 2) STOP posting and looking for validation.

Let's be real: sex sells. Lots of skin, cute girls, handsome men, bikinis, lingerie, cleavage, puppies, kittens, sunsets, sunrises,fantastic food: these are much of the subject matter that is almost guaranteed to resonate with social media viewers. Social media is about copying successful,popular photos...it's all one big copy-cat circus. If your photos follow the popularity curve, subject-wise, you'll have Likes galore. Original work, serious work, depressing work,serious artistic endeavors: all are almost guaranteed to bring in low Like counts.

You need to realize: if you want high like counts, you need to hashtag the heck out of every IG post, and show a lot of skin,skimpy clothes,etc. You have to follow a lot of people, and leave comments on the pages of many people, and hope that others see your name on the comments you leave, and check into your site. You have to post on-schedule for huge population numbers like say 5:30-7:30 AM Eastern time, hoping for commuters in the east, and you need to post at lunch time, and after-work train-time home, etc..

I assume you know much or most of this. But, if not, well, maybe it'll help. Then of course, there's the easiest course of action: STOP doing social media. If you have a compulsive habit of checking the sites over and over, then you've got a problem. You're getting way to much of a reward for far too small of a behavior. If all you want are Likes, then shoot the kind of crap that gets automatic Likes.


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## sergezap (Jul 14, 2018)

Man, your pics are more than goddamn ok.


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## zombiesniper (Jul 14, 2018)

As I recall ( I could be wrong) you've posted about stressing over likes before. I want to say a year or two ago. At that time you were stating that you were wondering how to combat like chasing.

It would seem like the problem has progressed. You're not alone in this feeling of needing confirmation of a good job. This type of behaviour  has been around a long time but we now live in a time where it can be fed at an exponential rate with social media.

I would suggest that you limit your exposure to the elements that are adding to the stress. I would also suggest that you seek out similarly affected people that have gone through similar feelings as they are more likely to help you find an agreeable resolution.


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## nerwin (Jul 14, 2018)

Thanks for all the advice. I really do appreciate it. 

I really thought about it and decided to take sometime off from social media. I'm not going to stop taking pictures, but I'm just not going to share them. Unless it's a photo I really like, I might post it here or send it to a friend or two. 

It might be a week or two or perhaps a month and just focus on me and just taking pictures. The amount of time I spend on social media, I could be using experimenting and practicing. It might be exactly what a need. I haven't done it before. My goal is to just have fun with photography, maybe finally read those books I haven't read yet.


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## Jeff G (Jul 14, 2018)

Nicholas, I love your work, because I can identify with it, not because I feel the need for you to entertain me. Post what you like and enjoy the process. I would rather have 5 like minded followers than 5000 score keepers. There are several people on this forum that I feel are kindred spirits and I enjoy thier sharing.

I'm sure my work inspires very few but I'm still enjoying the learning process. I have no lofty goals of being the best, shoot things that mean something to you, or just shoot some crazy off the wall quirky stuff because you like it. 

Whatever you do, enjoy it, or don't waste you time, life is to short.


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## nerwin (Jul 14, 2018)

Jeff G said:


> Nicholas, I love your work, because I can identify with it, not because I feel the need for you to entertain me. Post what you like and enjoy the process. I would rather have 5 like minded followers than 5000 score keepers. There are several people on this forum that I feel are kindred spirits and I enjoy thier sharing.
> 
> I'm sure my work inspires very few but I'm still enjoying the learning process. I have no lofty goals of being the best, shoot things that mean something to you, or just shoot some crazy off the wall quirky stuff because you like it.
> 
> Whatever you do, enjoy it, or don't waste you time, life is to short.



You're right. Life is too short to worry about likes and followers. You make a good point.


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## tirediron (Jul 14, 2018)

Point 1:  As others have stated, there is nothing wrong with the quality of your work.

Point 2:  Your condition is a form of addiction.  Given the length of time you've talked about it, I would say that you're not likely to be able to remedy the situation on your own, therefore, seek professional help.  There very well may be a "social-media anonymous" type of group in your area, or other form of addiction treatment / therapy.  It might not be fun, but I would urge you to look into this, as I don' think things will change any other way.


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## nerwin (Jul 14, 2018)

tirediron said:


> Point 1:  As others have stated, there is nothing wrong with the quality of your work.
> 
> Point 2:  Your condition is a form of addiction.  Given the length of time you've talked about it, I would say that you're not likely to be able to remedy the situation on your own, therefore, seek professional help.  There very well may be a "social-media anonymous" type of group in your area, or other form of addiction treatment / therapy.  It might not be fun, but I would urge you to look into this, as I don' think things will change any other way.



Thanks for your opinion and advice. 

But I'll figure it out on my own eventually.


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## Jeff15 (Jul 15, 2018)

Just because your not paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you.


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## jcdeboever (Jul 15, 2018)

nerwin said:


> Thanks for all the advice. I really do appreciate it.
> 
> I really thought about it and decided to take sometime off from social media. I'm not going to stop taking pictures, but I'm just not going to share them. Unless it's a photo I really like, I might post it here or send it to a friend or two.
> 
> It might be a week or two or perhaps a month and just focus on me and just taking pictures. The amount of time I spend on social media, I could be using experimenting and practicing. It might be exactly what a need. I haven't done it before. My goal is to just have fun with photography, maybe finally read those books I haven't read yet.



I think your a wonderful artist. I frequently visit your Flickr page because you really don't post a lot on here. I always come away impressed by the content. I think your work has gone up to a new level since your purchase of the new camera system. The hardware clearly works for you. However, I don't click the like because I'm too lazy to log in, lol. 

If I could offer any advise, it would be to use the time consumed on social media and replace it with printing and framing your work. Maybe buy a Canon printer with all those cartridges, some good paper, and teach yourself to make frames and Matt's. Your work is very worthy for competition and display. I would suggest making zines as well to send out to various galleries, potentially opening up opportunities for people to hang your art in their homes. 

I believe you have carved a path in your artistic journey but have come to a fork in the road, and you are just temporarily off the path.


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## bulldurham (Jul 15, 2018)

Much easier just to not give a hoot. I post what I want, reply as I think is needed and take whatever crap I get back...if I like it, I might make a change but in general, I just does what I wants to.


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## mrca (Jul 16, 2018)

Most folks commenting on photos in such places have as much knowledge in photo critique as your uncle harry.  So their praise or criticism is so much bs.  Want valid criticism, enter competitions  or club shows with a skilled judge and stop worrying about the idiots.  It is casting your pearls among swine.  Constructive criticism from a skilled judge will elevate your work,  inaccurate praise or criticism from idiots will do nothing but confuse, and it sounds like, depress you.   And when you do show your work to the uninitiated, develop a thick skin and just chalk up stupid comments to just that,  stupidity.    If you know what you are doing and the quality of your work, why worry about idiots?   And as a corollary, don't put much value in their praise.  I wish I had a nickel for every gwc who had  their friends say they had a "good eye."    Everyone thinks they are a natural and know a good image.  Til they find out what goes into an excellent image.   Ansel Adams said 12 excellent images A YEAR is a good crop.   Want to see some quality judging, find a friend in PPA and get a group together at their house to watch the broadcast judged competition coming up August 4-8.  But going to a photo club that has good judges will have images with the more common errors over and over and you will learn what not to have in your images and how to improve them not only from the critique of your work but from the critique of other who aren't seasoned pros.  Golfers have a saying, practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect.  George Carlin had a great quote he said people think it is tragic how low the average IQ is but what is really tragic is since it it the average, about half are dumber than that.   That applies to photo critique.  Just be ready to realize some are less than the already low photo/art IQ.   As Derrel points out, if you want to impress the lower half, shoot the cliched crap that they like.   But as a friend once told me, he doesn't care if they like them, so  long as they buy them.


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## smoke665 (Jul 16, 2018)

mrca said:


> Most folks commenting on photos in such places have as much knowledge in photo critique as your uncle harry.



Have you taken a serious look at TPF???? Even here that happens. At least here you do get the occasional nugget of sound advice. For me  sound, honest critique, by a knowledgeable photographer is the ultimate  "like".


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## waday (Jul 16, 2018)

Getting likes and followers on social media isn't done by just posting a great photo. It's a business, like any other. Unless you're famous; if so, you'll garner likes and comments just by being famous. The general public? Never. Sorry to be blunt.

People that have 10K+ followers and get 1K+ likes on photos don't do it by simply posting a photo. They post constantly, multiple times per day usually. Every. Single. Day. They constantly develop new material--every single week they may take dozens of new photos for material. They follow current trends, and sometimes are ahead of the game. They know who to tag, what to hashtag, when to post. They follow people and engage. They may PAY to sponsor their photos, which may gather more likes.

I won't bore you with my food instagrammer example again. I've already mentioned her a few times. 

It's a business.

Edited to add: Also, now with IG, they also have to make VIDEOS.

They need to shove content in your face literally and constantly; otherwise, they're lost alongside all of the other content being forced down your throat.


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## mrca (Jul 16, 2018)

Smoke, like you  I look to knowledgeable photographers for sound critique.   The problem with the occasional nugget beyond "nice pic" which is so often the level of critique on line, is it is buried among so much waste.  I haven't looked here.  I have seen some great and experienced photographers here so no doubt some good critique.  Folks like Derrel have been doing this for decades and I am sure he gives great analysis.  There are several others.   I have won and judged professional competitions so have a clue what goes into a great image but I like  to have another set of eyes that aren't biased giving solid review.  I pick apart my images harder than any judge will but when I have someone I respect reviewing my images, I listen.  Often, they may not get the purpose of the shot, the message.    I regularly get them analyzed by the most difficult judges, the checkbook holders and as I recommended above, don't take uninformed critique seriously.   I understand where the op is coming from.  Many years ago started entering professional competitions to see how my work stacked up.  After winning my very first competition and several classes and numerous awards in subsequent competitions, I didn't need reassurance of the quality of my work.     Now I just make my images and am satisfied if I obtain my vision and nail the shot.   Op will get there.   When I start a shoot, there is no question in my mind I will hit a home run.   Like golf, you have to get out of the way of it happening.   It's why I loved Tiger playing, no  matter how bad he hit a shot, he wasn't rattled and recovered.   My recommendation to op, go for your vision, the critics be damned.  Steiglitz and Steichen brought over some paintings to show in NYC and the art bombed and was ridiculed by the critics.  The artist is known by his last name, Picasso.  Steiglitz was told his image wasn't sharp at a NY photo club. He told them, it's supposed to be.  Who the heck even knows who those bozos are today?   Follow your vision.


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## chuasam (Jul 16, 2018)

My instagram is mostly photos of food and random crap


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## chuasam (Jul 16, 2018)

Learn to be like a famous orange toddler who imagines that all the world loves him even though they don’t.


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## mrca (Jul 16, 2018)

Am I on a political site?


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## BrentC (Jul 16, 2018)

Everybody should watch the Black Mirror episode 'Nosedive'.   We are about three quarters there and its scary.  
Thankfully I never embraced social media, which is a little surprising since I'm in the tech field.  Forums are the closest I get and only join those associated with one of my many hobbies.   I use them to learn from my peers and discuss hobby specific topics.   I do use Flickr but more for 'access anywhere' to my photos and to post on the forums.   I admit it is nice when I get a new follower or someone 'likes' one of my photos but don't try to make it my purpose in life.   
If I were to base how good my photography was based on likes or followers I would have given up photography a long time ago.
I personally, especially on forums, prefer to get criticism than someone just liking a photo.   Criticism and proper comments on photos helps you become a better photographer than just someone blindly hitting the like button.   I admit doing that myself a lot but I don't feel I'm at a level where I can give good criticism.  Hopefully at some point I will and be able to give back more than I take.
My advice, stay far away from IG and the like, continue to use forums like TPF where you can hone your craft by sharing with other photographers.   You are good enough, I have seen your work for the last couple years, that you can help out a lot of  new photographers.   Share your knowledge and extend your own.   IG and Social Media will not do that for you.


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## chuasam (Jul 16, 2018)

BrentC said:


> Everybody should watch the Black Mirror episode 'Nosedive'.   We are about three quarters there and its scary.
> Thankfully I never embraced social media, which is a little surprising since I'm in the tech field.  Forums are the closest I get and only join those associated with one of my many hobbies.   I use them to learn from my peers and discuss hobby specific topics.   I do use Flickr but more for 'access anywhere' to my photos and to post on the forums.   I admit it is nice when I get a new follower or someone 'likes' one of my photos but don't try to make it my purpose in life.
> If I were to base how good my photography was based on likes or followers I would have given up photography a long time ago.
> I personally, especially on forums, prefer to get criticism than someone just liking a photo.   Criticism and proper comments on photos helps you become a better photographer than just someone blindly hitting the like button.   I admit doing that myself a lot but I don't feel I'm at a level where I can give good criticism.  Hopefully at some point I will and be able to give back more than I take.
> My advice, stay far away from IG and the like, continue to use forums like TPF where you can hone your craft by sharing with other photographers.   You are good enough, I have seen your work for the last couple years, that you can help out a lot of  new photographers.   Share your knowledge and extend your own.   IG and Social Media will not do that for you.



There’s nothing inherently wrong with Instagram. I post random crap and don’t bother to hashtag. If I get more than 5 likes I consider it cool. If I get zero likes I’m like whatevs. Sam Chua (@chuasam) • Instagram photos and videos


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## Jeff G (Jul 16, 2018)

Brent, I loved that episode of black mirror, so close to being reality that it is scary.  To keep things simple, use the Internet for Inspiration not Validation.


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## chuasam (Jul 16, 2018)

Jeff G said:


> Brent, I loved that episode of black mirror, so close to being reality that it is scary.  To keep things simple, use the Internet for Inspiration not Validation.



Liar! You use the Internet to search for pictures of legs.


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## Jeff G (Jul 16, 2018)

Hey that's the other Jeff who has the leg fetish!


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## chuasam (Jul 16, 2018)

Jeff G said:


> Hey that's the other Jeff who has the leg fetish!



Oh crap! 
Sorry. 
Black Mirror is one of my fav shows


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## SquarePeg (Jul 16, 2018)

nerwin - I haven’t read al of the replies here so forgive me if this has already been said.  Instagram/Flickr etc popularity are not based on quality of photos.  They are systems that can be gamed/worked to get followers and likes.  Pay no attention and just do what you like.  Unless you’re innitnto get paid or become an “artist” who sells, who cares?


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## Fred von den Berg (Jul 17, 2018)

Take photos that no one likes and you will be cured. It works for me!


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## vintagesnaps (Jul 17, 2018)

The second paragraph pretty much sums it up I think. With social media the feedback especially from strangers doesn't seem exactly legit; it can be people just being nice, liking anything/everything that crosses their paths, or those people being sh#^%y just because they can (stay anonymous and hide, and most likely have their own issues). And who knows what else, and that's the kind of thing that I think can make it unsatisfying. 

You'd probably be better off sharing photos with people you know (like on here). You'd probably get real feedback from people you know. I think the best feedback I've gotten along the way was from people who had expertise and willing to share that. I've appreciated getting feedback from people whose opinions I value. 

I was thinking about what John said (and he had a point that if this continues to be a struggle you may need to consider). With my background being in early childhood development I'm not up on the latest in other areas, but I do see other things like an article that talked about social media, and how it may not be  addictive in the same way as substance use but it seems to have a certain amount of dependency for some people. I think you may be better off to find other ways to occupy your time, and if you get into other things that keep you busy you might find eventually you don't have so much time for social media anymore. 

You seem to have ability with photography and would be able to develop other interests as well. If you were younger, I'd tell you to go outside and play! They used to do that with us kids with TV, then video games, now I suppose it's with texting and social media...


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## otherprof (Jul 17, 2018)

I've said it before but as it has become sort of a mantra for me I'll repeat it here.  A fried of mine, sculptor, was studying with an artist whose work he greatly admired. He went with him to a show, and none of his teachers work sold, but a lot of what my friend thought was inferior did. He expressed his exasperation to this teacher, who replied, " Jerry, that's why they make vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."


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## OldManJim (Jul 18, 2018)

Many, many years ago, when I got my Kodak 620 camera, I took a bunch of pictures. after they were developed by the local drugstore, I showed the to my Grandma. Most of them weren't very good (poor composition, out of focus, etc.) but she loved every one.

I asked her why she liked them and she said: "It's not the picture, dearie, it's who took it."  That has always been my caveat on feedback from anyone but a recognized expert.


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## Sharpshooterr (May 7, 2019)

nerwin said:


> I really want to get this off my chest and ask for advice.
> 
> Social media has really stressed out lately, more than probably ever at this point. I've become so addicted to getting those likes as validation on my photos that when I don't get any or not very much, I automatically feel that the photo has no value, it must suck and so I usually end up deleting it and sometimes permanently off my hard drive.
> 
> ...


I suggest you get off all the social medias, start shooting for yourself and never show your pics to anyone. Don’t let anyone know you even own a camera and you will truly be shooting for yourself!!! 
But I’ll bet THAT’S not what you’re after either!?
SS


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## FatBear (May 8, 2019)

nerwin said:


> I really want to get this off my chest and ask for advice.


I looked at your Flickr page.  You have a good eye, skill with the camera, and creativity.  Focus on those things and you should feel better.

Then I looked at your website.  I think you already have the cure at hand.  Why do you take the photos?  To hoard, to print, to post for others to enjoy, or to post for others to "like" or ignore or dislike?  You website fulfills the third objective.  Just quit posting to Flickr if it is causing you problems.  And if you like seeing your photos online, post them on your own site.  You won't get many viewers unless you market the heck out of it, but that would defeat the purpose.  See how you feel after a year or two and use your new perspective to decide if you want to get back into social media. 

Then use the time you'd otherwise spend tracking likes to learn to print and frame your best photos.  Show them to family and friends and if someone likes it, give it to them.  Those are the people who should really matter, they are the ones who will hold on to your photo for years and put it on the wall for their friends and family to see.  I know it's old fashioned - as am I - but we have spent a million years evolving the circuits in our brain to care what those closest to us think and only a decade or two trying to figure out how to relate to the other 8 billion people. 

My best friend has two of my photos on his wall.  One I had forgotten about until I saw it there, and I really like it.  The other is one of my best (and the only one I ever made much money on).  I was glad he got one before I lost the negative to it.  It gave me a good feeling to see them again.


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## Original katomi (May 9, 2019)

Not work safe






you Have the choice. Take photos that please you I do and my local critics call my pics marmite photography (love hate)
If it’s your job, why are you doing it
I no longer post on social media because I found my pics turning up elsewhere  and it Pd me off
So l left  Try approaching your local shop cafe and see if they will display for you, it will give you an outlet without the constant on line comments
I agree with above post, I don’t sale my work but if a friend really likes a piece, sometimes just maybe I will give then that image.
As you can see photography is for me and if others don’t like what I do so be it. Not something to loose sleep over but hay I am a fossil who does not give a......


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## texxter (May 9, 2019)

nerwin said:


> It's not Instagram's fault or Flickr's fault. It's my own damn fault.
> 
> Giving up on these isn't going to solve the problem.



You are correct that the underlying problem,  a dependency on others for validation, isn't going to be fixed by stopping your use of social media.  But it'll help.  It's like addiction - alcoholism is not the liquor's fault,  but not buying liquor helps.   But cutting your dependency on social media networks you will have taken a first step to change behavior, which may evolve into changing feelings.



nerwin said:


> I'm really lost on what I should do so I'm asking for advice. I want to stop caring about getting likes and stop caring whether or not someone will like this photo and just take pictures for me. What would be a good step in the right direction?



A good first step is doing some introspection about your motivations.  Are you equally needy of validation in other areas of your life?  Do you feel you need approval to accept yourself?  These are tendencies that you may or may not have surfaced to a clear level of consciousness and awareness.  Second, stop feeding the need/dependency/addiction by discontinuing your use of social media - or at least stop posting pictures.  Third, perhaps choose a project for yourself - instead of posting for others, select something you care about and develop a body of work, like 20 good images over a period of time, curate them, edit them, print them.  Bring your photography above the level of sharing on social networks.  Let the work be its own reward.



nerwin said:


> I often get asked the question "What does photography mean to me?" To be honest, I don't have an answer anymore. I've seem to have forgotten.



You need to to go to this question and work on it.


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## waday (May 9, 2019)

Hey all, nerwin stopped posting like a year ago. Not that he can’t start back up... Just an FYI...


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## Dean_Gretsch (May 9, 2019)

waday said:


> Hey all, nerwin stopped posting like a year ago. Not that he can’t start back up... Just an FYI...



I think we all could learn something about inclusiveness with other's work and abilities by reading posts here though.


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## Derrel (May 9, 2019)

waday said:


> Hey all, nerwin stopped posting like a year ago. Not that he can’t start back up... Just an FYI...




I re-read parts of this thread and yesterday and sent Nerwin an e-mail,letting him know that I would like to see him come back.


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## Dean_Gretsch (May 9, 2019)

@Derrel Good! He has talent. I hope he does come back.


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## SquarePeg (May 9, 2019)

Derrel said:


> waday said:
> 
> 
> > Hey all, nerwin stopped posting like a year ago. Not that he can’t start back up... Just an FYI...
> ...



I follow him on Flickr and he still occasionally posts there.  I agree he is talented and I hope he continues to share his work.


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## waday (May 9, 2019)

Dean_Gretsch said:


> waday said:
> 
> 
> > Hey all, nerwin stopped posting like a year ago. Not that he can’t start back up... Just an FYI...
> ...


I agree, just setting the stage so that people that are talking directly to him don't expect an immediate response. 

And I do agree, I wish nerwin would come back. I always enjoyed his topics and his photos.


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## FatBear (May 9, 2019)

waday said:


> Hey all, nerwin stopped posting like a year ago. Not that he can’t start back up... Just an FYI...


Oh you're right.  Well he is still posting on Flickr.  Maybe he took the advice to quit social media and started with this forum.


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## Gabriella_S (May 10, 2019)

I just read through this thread and even though it's a year old now, I think it brings up a very important topic. The dependency on social media for validation is a big problem for a lot of people. Addiction to social media in general is a huge thing today. It seem very easy for artists of any kind to value what they do by how many "likes" they get. I know that myself can feel a bit bummed that I don't get a lot of favs or likes on my photos, but I also know that I only post on flickr and 500px and that I don't do anything for exposure. And I like my photos (most days lol) so meh. I keep doing it because I love going out there and spend an hour on getting photos of that one spider I ran into.
  Getting all those hundreds or thousands of likes takes a ton of work to market and promote yourself, and I fear that this is a fact  that a lot of artists miss. Like several of you said, it's a business.
Social media is also so mindless. Most people are to preoccupied with themselves and keeping up appearances that they won't bother with anything that isn't "main stream" All that skin showing and foods and sunsets are what people will jump on. And like someone else here said, validation from people on social media, in most cases, will mean nothing. Most people don't know what they are looking at. It's all about trends and image.
Anyone with this kind of problem that happen to find this thread, realize that you might have a real problem that you might need professional help with. It might be behaviour therapy or even just something as simple as talking once or twice to someone, it helps getting some distance to your feelings and behaviour so you can more easily analyze it and find out WHY you are keeping up a destructive behaviour. (I know from personal experience) Will make it easier to break bad habits. Don't be afraid to get help!


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## Kiron Kid (May 14, 2019)

This is a personal, emotional issue within himself. it’s not about his photography. I hope he figures it out and returns to the group.


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## Derrel (May 14, 2019)

We are in the midst of a significant social revolution.Society is changing quite a bit. Social media has impacted the lives of hundreds of millions.


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## JonA_CT (May 14, 2019)

I see him posting in the Fuji facebook group occasionally, too. I also miss his presence on the forums -- both his photography and the honesty with which he posted.


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## Kiron Kid (May 14, 2019)

Derrel said:


> We are in the midst of a significant social revolution.Society is changing quite a bit. Social media has impacted the lives of hundreds of millions.



That is very true. But it only has the power that we give it. Shoot for yourself and do not be concerned what others think of your work.


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## smoke665 (May 14, 2019)

Derrel said:


> We are in the midst of a significant social revolution.Society is changing quite a bit. Social media has impacted the lives of hundreds of millions.



I post on social media, and I'll admit that it's easy to get addicted to the endorphin rush that comes from the likes. However I prefer honest feedback good/or bad, so that I can improve.


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## Derrel (May 14, 2019)

Throughout human history there have been technological advances  that brought with them huge societal changes. The telephone, the automobile, television,  The Internet, e-mail, cell phones, and social media...all of these things  have brought with them big changes. For all of us alive today. The automobile has always been, but for people who were born in the 1800s, the automobile was pretty much A new thing, and the changes it brought were both painful, and joyful.
      A few years ago I read a thing that said if you were reachable by telephone on the weekend (at one time) it meant you were super wealthy, then the telephone became common and pretty much everybody was reachable by telephone, even on the weekends--and now being Un-reachable  by telephone on the weekends means that you are super wealthy. I saw that yesterday the country of France passed a law making it illegal for employers to contact their employees by telephone outside of work hours. We have now arrived at a point where the cellular telephone's presence has created a constant state of being plugged in.

A few weeks ago I was watching the NCAA three-Point Shootout and dunk contest, and was surprised to see the sheer number of young people in their 20s who are more or less constantly uploading or checking social media. I remember when the first iPhone was released a little over a decade ago, and how uncommon cellular telephones used to be. But now? The world has changed for many people.


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## smoke665 (May 14, 2019)

Derrel said:


> I remember when the first iPhone was released a little over a decade ago, and how uncommon cellular telephones used to be



My first mobile phone was a mobile radio telephone. The transceiver was mounted in the trunk. Expensive and limited. I thought I was on the cutting edge when Motorola came out with the bag phone



 

Then came the "Brick", try sticking one of those in your pocket. LOL


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## sleist (May 14, 2019)

I remember when my wife and I got our first answering machine.  THAT was life changing let me tell you.

Social media is poison.  I've haven't even had TV for 10 years.  I stream things of course, but the commercial social manipulation is truly profound when you've been away from it for so long.  We are convinced to hate our neighbors for clicks and advertising.  Very sad.  It didn't use to be like this.  I can say that to my kids and they will nod their head, but they will never really know.

Divide and conquer is the phrase that comes to mind these days.  Well, we've been divided ...


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