# It is OK, I am a photographer, not a pervert...



## sabbath999 (Oct 3, 2007)

The other day, I saw a young lady working in the grocery store who had amazing eyes. She had that kind of shining blue eyes that just simply glow in print. Otherwise, she was a fairly normal looking teen (15ish) and apparently I was staring at her eyes...

She caught my look, and for the quickest of moments she glanced around to see if anybody else was nearby. I was actually kind of startled that I might make somebody a bit nervous. I am the most harmless person on the planet, and wouldn't hurt a fly (literally... I am a strict vegetarian).

I wanted to walk over to her and say "It's OK, I am a photographer and not a pervert... you have amazing eyes and I would love to take your picture (with, of course, your mom in the room with us)" but I just kind of walked away.

I am not really sure what my point is on this post, other than I later felt amused that the "photographer, not pervert" line popped into my head at that point in time.


----------



## DigitalDiva (Oct 3, 2007)

I do the SAME thing with people I find interesting in look. I carry my card with me which has my online gallery and my contact details. That way, they can have a look at my work and decide for themselves. I realize this is easier for a woman than a man.


----------



## Mike_E (Oct 3, 2007)

Not really, after identifying yourself and giving them your card, you just ask them if they ever want to get a modeling portfolio together to give you a call.


----------



## Big Mike (Oct 3, 2007)

I guess this is just part of our modern times and the constant feeling of fear that is propagated by the negative media coverage of the few bad apples that spoil everything for the rest of us.

The sad fact is that there are perverts and predators out there...and people (kids/teens/women/anybody) does have to be careful...it's just very unfortunate that being careful comes at the cost of suspecting almost anybody and everybody.

I too have seen some very pretty young ladies and children that I knew would make great models...but how do you approach them?  I don't know.  The least imposing way that I can think of, would be to have business cards and just say: 
"Hi, I'm so and so and I'm a photographer.  Here's my card.  I think you would make a great model, talk to your parents and have them contact me, if you are interested."  
Or something like that.


----------



## Lol999 (Oct 3, 2007)

I see lots of great street shots with kids in and always never bother. Sometimes I get really annoyed and think "I'll buck the trend and take their picture. They're in a public place and perhaps if we all did it we could get back to the more innocent times of Bert Hardy et al". But I never do. I just don't need the hassle, and I'm a big guy with tattoos


----------



## xfloggingkylex (Oct 3, 2007)

It's sick that this is how we live in our world, where getting caught up in beauty can be turned into 25 years in jail.

I work for the picture people, one of those mall portrait studio's, and as a result I take pictures of kids all the time.  As a result, lately I find myself more playful with children in general, and everyone I see becomes a potential customer.  I have been thinking lately, that hopefully Im not being seen as a pervert, since I don't exactly wear an advertisement to explain why I am looking at your children. :meh:  

Tough times here in the photography world.


----------



## gomexz (Oct 3, 2007)

There was a bit of a study where the men in the study said they would walk away from an alone crying child at a park for fear of looking like a predator.  For the life of me I can not remember where I read that.


----------



## Lol999 (Oct 3, 2007)

I have seen young children in town centres, clearly separated from mum and upset, but dare not approach them. Instead I watch from a distance until Mum appears. What a tragedy we have to live like this.


----------



## Big Mike (Oct 3, 2007)

Here's a related story.  My grandmother was a nice old lady and she used to babysit the neighborhood kids.  Next door to her house lives a family with small children.  When she passed away, I bought the house from the estate and moved in.  I knew the neighbors, but not very well.  Anyway, one day the little girl from next door (maybe 5 or 6) comes walking down my hallway.  She had let herself into my yard and into my house...looking to play with my dog, which was my grandmother's dog.

I immediately asked if her mom knew where she was...and then lead her out of the house and back to the alley, where her mother was looking for her.

Anyway, the weird part was that I was afraid to hold her hand to lead her out...I had to coax her out.  I just didn't feel that it would look appropriate for a grown man to be holding her hand etc.  How sad is that?


----------



## skieur (Oct 3, 2007)

It applies to other careers as well.  Teachers are advised to be extremely careful and coaching a team of young boys or girls also has new "dangers".  Worse than the fear of course is being falsely accused of inappropriate behaviour.  I realized how common it was, when a colleague was falsely accused and arrested at the head office of where he worked in a large downtown area of a city.  It took him almost three years to clear his name and his original career was ruined.

skieur


----------



## BEvaristo (Oct 3, 2007)

skieur said:


> It applies to other careers as well.  Teachers are advised to be extremely careful and coaching a team of young boys or girls also has new "dangers".  Worse than the fear of course is being falsely accused of inappropriate behaviour.  I realized how common it was, when a colleague was falsely accused and arrested at the head office of where he worked in a large downtown area of a city.  It took him almost three years to clear his name and his original career was ruined.
> 
> skieur



Completely agree.  A co-worker of mine moonlights as Santa during the Christmas season and  the first thing he was taught was to make sure his hands were visible at all times, especially once the photo was taken with the child on his lap.  It's one of those things I had never thought about, but accusations among Santa's had become so common that it's now a standard to point or give a thumbs up to the camera just to avoid any problems.


----------



## MACollum (Oct 3, 2007)

To be perfectly honest, I'm always watching out for men (in particular) who show too much interest in children in general. Women are the ones most interested in children and men tend to be leery of seeming too interested. I've told my kids if they ever get separated from me to find a woman (preferably with kids) to ask for help. I don't want to seem sexist but you can't be too careful when it comes to the safety of your children. 

I find it very sad that men have been forced to avoid children to keep from being accused of being a pervert, but it can't be denied that there are just too many pervs out there. I've come to understand that it's not the guys who look like creeps you have to worry about, it's the ones that seem perfectly normal and a little too nice. If a guy seems uncomfortable, odds are he's OK, just worried about his reputation.


----------



## Peanuts (Oct 3, 2007)

Hate to mention this but if a man came up to me, even with a card, and asked ot take my picture later I would probably politely say 'thank you' and throw it in the next garbage I went by. How sad that is how society has destroyed its own 'society sociability"


----------



## Johnboy2978 (Oct 3, 2007)

I too hate that our society has come to the point that we have become so cautious.  I work professionally as a psychologist and I think it's much more common for children to be assaulted by a neighbor or a family member than abducted by a stranger.  The whole "Stranger - Danger" campaign was well intentioned, but it has made the whole world at large paranoid that every guy in the park or mall is just waiting to catch you with your guard down and take your kids into a van and molest or kill them.  

I took my daughter to the park this weekend and noticed that there were virtually no fathers or males there at all.  I found myself suddenly becoming aware the fact that I was really about the only male there in a crowd of many mothers with their children.  My daugher just turned 2, and I actually got a little nervous that she was going to fall and then everyone would see this 30 something year old man running to the car with a crying child and think she was being kidnapped or something.  

How sad is that?  I was looking forward to the time when she would be at this age so that we could go to the park and I could take pictures more easily of her and other kids as well.  Now, unless my wife is with us I get a little paranoid that I look like an abductor if she gets hurt and mom's are seeing me rush her to the car.


----------



## Alex_B (Oct 3, 2007)

sabbath999 said:


> "It's OK, I am a photographer and not a pervert... you have amazing eyes



Staring does not make you a pervert at all. And asking to take images not at all either. You should however say, that the images will not be taken for a porn mag or for any ****ing (EDIT: "w a n k i n g" was the word ) business.

It is sad, that society got so unnatural. And the funny thing is, this does not really protect children or youngsters from the molesters, but mainly affects normal people.


----------



## Alex_B (Oct 3, 2007)

MACollum said:


> Women are the ones most interested in children and men tend to be leery of seeming too interested.



Molesters are of both genders, not just men. Just stating this for completeness.

And was it 90% or even more cases where the bad-guy was is the stranger with the candy but close relatives.


----------



## (Ghastly) Krueger (Oct 3, 2007)

Peanuts said:


> Hate to mention this but if a man came up to me, even with a card, and asked ot take my picture later I would probably politely say 'thank you' and throw it in the next garbage I went by.


 
To be honest, I've been approachd like that in a Wal-Mart when I was with my baby. The guy just said "we have an offer on a set of pics, we speciallize on children"... and I wouldn't even think about it. If he had said "that's a beautiful baby, I'd like to take his picture"... I would have reacted more strongly.

On the same Wal-Mart (I was no longer carrying my baby) I saw a kid standing on the shopping cart, on this little seat where he was supposed to be sitting. Nobody was watching the cart and I could just picture the kid falling.

And I could also picture myself getting in trouble if I touched him in anyway unless he was actually falling. I raised my arms to be reay to catch him and called "this kid is about to fall". An old lady turned around and saw him up there and got him down all scared.

Meh. Sad, as you said.


----------



## Sweetsomedays (Oct 3, 2007)

I have done the same thing. A woman walked by me in the grocery store yesterday and she really caught my attention. She had these amazing  beautiful features, I swear she as nubian or something...the most perfect flawless super dark skin I have ever seen. I so wanted to give her my # and ask to photograph her but of course I didnt.
Funny thing is I don't seem to have any issue when asking people if I can photograph their horse or pets hehe.


----------



## stellar_gal (Oct 3, 2007)

I am sorry that happened to you.  At least the girl did not scream and start running.  I can see both sides, as some other posters have said.  People always think the men are perverts.  So sad. Maybe have that business card very handy and think in advance how you present yourself.

 As a newer parent, I see people staring at my beautiful baby boy, but sometimes I get that weird feeling that they are a creep.  Sad, it is usually men, but I am paranoid and overprotective. I thank the tv news for part of that- they always bring out the best of the bad on the news and its always men...

Good luck in the future though.


----------



## jedithebomber (Oct 3, 2007)

Ya know, I just stay away from shooting people. I get enough strange looks just walking around with my camera slung around my neck everywhere.


----------



## MACollum (Oct 3, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> Molesters are of both genders, not just men. Just stating this for completeness.
> 
> And was it 90% or even more cases where the bad-guy was is the stranger with the candy but close relatives.


 
You're right, I won't argue with that. I knew someone would take what I was saying the wrong way. :blushing: There are women that are perverts that too but the overhelming majority are men. That in and of itself is very sad...that men tend to be looked at as being perverts because there are a few who are. Generally I was trying to state the fact that a man is _more likely_ to be seen as a pervert than a woman. Right or wrong, if a woman asked to take pictures of my kids, I'd be more inclined to let her than a man.

It is also true that it's your friends you should worry about more, not strangers. This is why I don't trust anyone completely with my kids, not even close relatives. I once saw a news report with statisics showing that virtually everyone knows at least one child molester and isn't even aware of the fact.

Photographers in particular should be prepared for a bad reaction from people who are approached about modeling. There have been just too many cases of people posing as harmless photographers in order to lure would-be victims. A high-profile case in Alaska (I think it was AK) comes immediately to mind...


----------



## MACollum (Oct 3, 2007)

Double post...sorry. Darn computers.


----------



## table1349 (Oct 3, 2007)

Part of the problem stems from the basic western notion that it is impolite to stare.  To do so, brings attention to the starer.  If you go to someplace like China, staring at someone is not considered rude and often seen in public.  

What is viewed as impolite, or wrong in western society makes others uncomfortable.  When we are made uncomfortable by a transgression of social rules of behavior we become suspicious of the transgressor.  Couple that with the fact that in this country people enjoy more freedoms than in most other countries on earth, a country where anyone can and often does spout their beliefs, no matter how wrong or perverse they may seem to the majority, and that suspicion is heightened enormously.  

We have for so long in this country been so hung up on the idea of total individual freedom, that we forgot a couple of things.  First, that individual freedom comes with a great responsibility.  A burden that far to many are not willing to shoulder.  Secondly, there are times that the freedom of the majority is more important than the freedom of the individual.  This is an idea that has weakened in the last few years.  This makes our society an easy target for those of perverse views or those that wish to destroy it.  

Because of these factors we have developed into a very suspicious society where incidents like have been described above happen far to often to innocent people.


----------



## Garbz (Oct 3, 2007)

sabbath999 said:


> I was actually kind of startled that I might make somebody a bit nervous. I am the most harmless person on the planet, and wouldn't hurt a fly (literally... I am a strict vegetarian).



It's the big bushy techie beard. She probably did not recognise it as an ISO compliant network administrator look, and mistook your for an escaped convict.


----------



## Johnboy2978 (Oct 3, 2007)

Just to take the heat off the men for a minute, almost weekly, you read where somewhere in the nation another female teacher has been charged with sexual misconduct w/ one of her students.  I think all of this has to do with media beating these kinds of stories to death.  It more of the "if it bleeds, it leads" kind of mentality.  You never hear the commentary of the overwhelming majority of priests who are doing Godly deeds, giving to the poor, helping communities, doing good in all walks of life.  All you hear about are the isolated ones who molest.  Then your perspective is skewed and since this is all you hear about, you tend to believe that it is much more common than it really is.  Another example is the guy in Fl? who met up w/ the teen age girl on myspace.  I think that really happens quite infrequently however, you'll hear bits and pieces of that story for a month until another similar event occurs and begin to believe it is a rampant problem.


----------



## craig (Oct 3, 2007)

Definitely a topic for a smarter man then me. None the less I thought I would throw in the (basically) uneducated view of a 40 year old photographer with no children.

Society is changing but I think as free thinkers we can (have to) find a way to take a different approach. A lot of responses to this thread mention the word sad. Only sad thing is that we sit by and accept the current paranoia. I only read one instance in this thread of a man being wrongly accused. Yes it stinks and I am sure it was painful for everyone involved. Lot of other posts are the same paranoid thoughts that fuel the paranoia fire. I say; accept that card from the creepy photograher. Ask the hot chick if she wants her photo taken. You very much can be too over protective of your children and that is the problem. 

We need to start experiencing life as opposed to being afraid of it. A hole opened up in the road in La Jolla, Ca today. Anything can and will happen. With some research and basic social skills you can figure out if the situation is dodgy. Keep in mind that evil has only been around since day one. People dealt with it back then and we have to deal with it now. The prospect of a positive experience needs to out weigh anything.

Love & Bass


----------



## Miaow (Oct 4, 2007)

stellar_gal said:


> As a newer parent, I see people staring at my beautiful baby boy, but sometimes I get that weird feeling that they are a creep.  Sad, it is usually men, but I am paranoid and overprotective. I thank the tv news for part of that- they always bring out the best of the bad on the news and its always men...



I agree there completely as I have a 22mth old little girl.  There's so much more reporting on the media now than there used to be when i was younger (or maybe I just notice it more now that I have a child).


----------



## Tiberius47 (Oct 4, 2007)

I agree with you guys.  It's very sad that a small bunch of sick people have ruined society for the rest of us who are what we seem to be.

And my first post!


----------



## usayit (Oct 4, 2007)

xfloggingkylex said:


> It's sick that this is how we live in our world, where getting caught up in beauty can be turned into 25 years in jail.
> 
> Tough times here in the photography world.



Oh yes.... tough times in general.  We've become over hypersensitive to many things and in some ways have less freedoms because of it.  Talk to a senior citizen about stories they remember.  At least for me, I am completely amazed by how different the world has become.  

In fact, we just had a thread on this forum which just shows to what extent we are willing to eat away at everyone's civil liberties.


If you had in fact taken a few photos of young beautiful girls and posted them here or on a website, there is a very good chance that those on this forum would see you as a pedophile that belongs in jail.


----------



## RMThompson (Oct 4, 2007)

I have been in this boat before, and I've been able to sometimes mention what I do to them, but also I've been afraid to.

I was shooting a wedding, and there was this incredibly striking 17 year old. I wanted to give her my card and let her know I was interested in shooting her if she ever wanted to model, but I was afraid to. However I went outside and she was having her brother take pictures of her in her dress, so it was a good opportunity to bring it up. She contacted me since, and although we haven't worked together, she is interested.


----------



## MACollum (Oct 4, 2007)

craig said:


> You very much can be too over protective of your children and that is the problem.


 
1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18. 
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. 
*1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.* 

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member. 
Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust. 
Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know. 
*Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.*

http://www.darkness2light.org/KnowAbout/statistics_2.asp

This is just to show that the problem is VERY widepread and that there is good reason to be over-protective. Strangers are obviously the least of your worries but people you don't know are more likely to take a bold approach that seems innocent (IMO).

I'm not trying to go off-topic, just pointing out why people are and should be careful. I would question the motive of anyone asking to take pictures of my kids, because generally, most people wouldn't be interested in my kids at all. The odds of someone being interested in my kids because they're beautiful are much less than the odds of someone being interested because they're a pervert.

All that aside, I'm NOT an overprotective parent. I give my kids a healthy dose of independence when they show that they are responsibe enough for it. The key is to help them learn to trust their gut, not their rational thoughts. I've been freaked out to the point of panic before just from the sight of some people who were normal-looking (because of my gut insinct, but I won't go into the situation now). At the same time, I've been around some pretty scary-looking people and had no instinctual reaction.

All in all, however, it's not a good idea to take how someone looks and decide they're a pervert. It sucks to live in a society where we can't trust anyone because of the bad few.


----------



## usayit (Oct 4, 2007)

RMThompson, Thats a perfect time to bring it up actually... Since you were shooting a wedding that she attended it brings creditability to you.


----------



## Iron Flatline (Oct 4, 2007)

I find that a lot of communities, virtual or physical, have members that rush to be the first to wag a finger. They revel in being the person to point something out as inappropriate, or to generally spot-light something as being potentially contraversial or uncomfortable. They can't wait to mention statistics or anecdotes that silence everyone, that noone dares to question. Everything is frozen in fear, but at least that person has full attention of everyone. They're just as dangerous. 

...and I'm seriously worried about typing something like this because somehow somewhere someone might choose to use it as proof that I'm somehow "pro-abuse" or that I don't care.

It's an insane world. Don't be quiet about it, regardless of the insanity being perpetrated.


----------



## Rick Waldroup (Oct 4, 2007)

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90660

I believe that is the thread usayit was referring to.

We live in the age of the _fear factor._ 

I refuse to live that way.


----------



## craig (Oct 4, 2007)

Big up Rick! Macollum: We are all familiar with the statistics. They are frightening to say the least. Of course trust your instincts, but do not let them rule your life. We simply have to start trusting and understanding people or we will all be living in gated communities.

Love & Bass


----------



## RMThompson (Oct 4, 2007)

An ounce of security cost a pound of freedom.

However, I also believe that a society that fails to protect it's children is not much of a society.

That being said, seemingly contradictory, In this case, making your intentions clear can be not as abrupt and saying "you have great eyes here is my card." That might just be as bad, since she still might assume bad intentions.

I think the way to go about it is to approach, and apologize, says she looks familiar, (familiar is a generic enough word not to cause panic) and ask if she has ever done any modeling. This statement doesn't infer any want or need on your part, and likely to flatter the subject. If the answer is warm, then follow up with your intentions.


----------



## Big Mike (Oct 4, 2007)

Along with that, I think that being honest is a good start.  If you tell them right off, that you are worried about approaching them, in fear of being thought of as a pervert...it may dispel some of the fear.


----------



## usayit (Oct 4, 2007)

I wonder if having a female assistant will help bring tensions down and foster a little bit of trust?  Much in the same manner that a male doctor usually requests to have a female nurse present depending on the type of examination.


----------



## Rick Waldroup (Oct 4, 2007)

usayit said:


> I wonder if having a female assistant will help bring tensions down and foster a little bit of trust? Much in the same manner that a male doctor usually requests to have a female nurse present depending on the type of examination.


 
I do a little on-location head shot work every now and then, and when it comes to female clients, I absolutely make sure I have a female assistant with me, which is usually my wife or my daughter.

It certainly eases the tension of the client. I also make sure the client knows beforehand that I will be bringing a female assistant to the photo shoot. I cannot tell you how many times I get a look or sigh of relief when I tell them that.


----------



## nossie (Oct 23, 2007)

Sorry I didn't see this long running thread sooner (I started another that I'd can't close out)

So Ok there are pervs out there and they do cause us to keep our guard up but thinking positive how can we overcome these fears taking it one situation at a time.  

If I'm out there with my child and someone points a camera at him, I'm not going to worry about the child being harmed but what's the photo for anyay?  I know I'm a good hearted photographer but who's he?  Starting a conversation is a good way to go I'm sure.  Which brings me to the point that communication is probably the key.  We all know or should know that making our subjects comforable working with us is vital.

Personally I would rephrase some of the approaches above - you see a pretty person that you'd like to shoot, don't ask can you take their picture but rather if suggest if ever she's interested in being shot that she should call you because you think they have something to give to the camera.  She's probably never thought of such a thing so she'll need to come around to the idea and it's important not to overwhelm.

But in the situation of many kids in a park how can I avoid a panic frenzy.  Keep in mind that the kids here are thought to look out for each other.  I take out a camera a kid goes running home to tell his mam/dad that there's some man in the park taking pictures of the kids.  The parent comes over on the attack not privy to the mind of the photographer.

I might start by saying that I'm making a postcard for the area.  I am but I'm not expecting to feature close-ups of people in it.



> We just had a new play area built in the local park. It's great. The kids around here are wild and they'll break anything but this is unbreakable. The inject all their energy into wrecking it and they're even willing to sacrifice a limb or a plate in their skull but they can't break it. We have security cameras that link up to the Police Station and night time lighting so undesireables can't loiter there. It's a great success! It's colourful, it's got shapes and angles, it's got plants and nature and 100 delighted children there everyday. A great place to photograph the energy in the area... but I wouldn't dare walk through with a camera bag for fear someone would suggest I was up to foul play with the kiddies.
> It's a working class area so there's plenty of scags just ready to say "there's that dirty b*st*rd taking pictures of the kids" but even beyond the likes of them there are people that just can't possibly accept anyone taking pictures of their children just because the look awesome.


----------



## Battou (Oct 23, 2007)

nossie said:


> I might start by saying that I'm making a postcard for the area.  I am but I'm not expecting to feature close-ups of people in it.


No, don't that. If you are approched by a parent and you give that kind information they may relax a bit, however the proud parent under the impression a post card is comming will be looking threw the post cards at the local retailer so he/she can point out her little boy/girl to all their friends. When no post card happens you look even worse off than before, as now in their minds you are making excuses for being there. It's a common tool of the pedoperves everyone is worried about. There is also the possibility that the parent could call bullsht leaving you in the same position that much sooner.



nossie said:


> But in the situation of many kids in a park how can I avoid a panic frenzy.  Keep in mind that the kids here are thought to look out for each other.  I take out a camera a kid goes running home to tell his mam/dad that there's some man in the park taking pictures of the kids.  The parent comes over on the attack not privy to the mind of the photographer.




Short lens, using shorter a lens and taking wider angle shot. You can tell them that you are shooting the park and not any particular child. If you have to you can let them take a look threw the view finder and see just how much of the park you are getting and how the children play into it.


----------



## nossie (Oct 23, 2007)

Great advice Battou - Thanks!


----------



## JerryPH (Oct 24, 2007)

skieur said:


> It applies to other careers as well. Teachers are advised to be extremely careful and coaching a team of young boys or girls also has new "dangers".


 
Oh, I *so* live that near everyday.  As a computer instructor, every now and then I stand behind the sitting (always adult) student and follow through with them if they need help.

I now stand 2-4 feet away from their chair, NEVER reach over to touch their mouse or keyboard and use a lazer pointer to assist and tell them what I want them to do.  I never look anywhere except the monitor, unless they turn and look me in the face, at which point I step back 1-2 steps.  This goes for the men just as much as the ladies.

Once in the same class, and I kid you not, I had a woman near exposing herself and smiled each time she thought I was starring down her extemely low cut top (I've had years of practice keeping strict eye to eye contact, so no prolems with "straying looks").  I had to share my feelings... after the end of that day's session, I said; "ms. XYZ, I could not care less what you wore... but what posessed you to put that kind of attire on in a professional environment?"  Her answer?  "I like it when I can make men uncomfortable".  Uhhmm, ok.

I told her I had daughters older than her (which I do not, BTW), and that she didn't have anything I've never seen before, but thanks for playing... lol.  She came the last few days to my class dressed "properly".

That was a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.  I am happy that I work in a branch of the computer field where women are few and very far between as students in my classes (advanced security and technical networking classes).  

I'm still always very respectful of not invading personal space and watchful of avoiding anything even remotely on the same planet as sexual harrassment.


----------



## Sw1tchFX (Oct 24, 2007)

sabbath999 said:


> The other day, I saw a young lady working in the grocery store who had amazing eyes. She had that kind of shining blue eyes that just simply glow in print. Otherwise, she was a fairly normal looking teen (15ish) and apparently I was staring at her eyes...
> 
> She caught my look, and for the quickest of moments she glanced around to see if anybody else was nearby. I was actually kind of startled that I might make somebody a bit nervous. I am the most harmless person on the planet, and wouldn't hurt a fly (literally... I am a strict vegetarian).
> 
> ...



It's because you're a man. If a woman did that, nobody would even blink an eye, and they'd just think she's crazy. 

sucks don' it?


----------



## Battou (Oct 24, 2007)

Sw1tchFX said:


> It's because you're a man. If a woman did that, nobody would even blink an eye, and they'd just think she's crazy.
> 
> sucks don' it?



That applies to so many fields it's not funny, right now I am employed as a Child Care Provider and I tell you some of the dirty looks I get are astounding. For some odd reason it is a natural predisposition of women towards unrelated men interacting with children, a stereotype if you will.


----------



## shundaroni (Oct 25, 2007)

There's most certainly a stereotype, but it's not particularly new. Women have long been dubbed "Caregivers," especially as it relates to children. Men, on the other hand, are supposed to be distant and unemotional. When a man takes an interest in being around children, it challenges that notion, and combined with the male reputation for being sexually motivated, it can disturb people.

A 40 year old man staring at a 15 year old girl would have been judged as "oogling" 20+ years ago, let alone today. There is certainly a hightened awareness of pedophilia and molestation today (which I won't deem as a bad thing), but that can be overcome in many cases with a calm, friendly demeanor, and an understanding of what "not to say" to parents or the children themselves. 

Of course, the simplest solution would be not to take pictures of children unless commissioned to do so by the parents. This is the approach I take. Pass out your business card, post up flyers, etc. and wait for people to request your services. You look much less like a potential pervert and the parents are coming into it with a positive attitude.


----------



## dpolston (Oct 25, 2007)

I will have to say that I have been lucky and have never been challenged on this. My wife and I have 2 daughters (12 and 15) and I have been photographing them in public all their lives. More recently (within the past 5 or 6 years) during their sports or music events. 

  Because of that, I have worked my way into a little pocket to where my kids friends and their friends families have hired me for work. I have taken senior portraits, family portraits, birthday parties, cookouts, goofing around photos etc. for those friends. Team photos, action sports shots, band competitions and all of this because I was there at the event with my camera. And the thing is all of those kids are girls.

  I have built up a trust with those parents and because of word of mouth, sharing photos with them, having a hot dog together a the ball park and all of those things. I will protect their children just as I do mine and because of that I have a constant flow of models if I needed them. I am also the staff photographer at my church (around 6000 members) and once a quarter, I go around the building, services and classrooms taking lifestyle or candid photos. I am the first one to get down on the floor and play with those kids, of all ages, while I take their photos.

  I do have to admit though, that when I am contracted for special events (like a band competition I did last week) I have the sponsors make me a name tag/press pass [if you will] because I told them that I didnt want to be questioned as Who is that pedophile on the field? No hes the photographer. 

  TOTAL SIDE STORY: I dont know if this will help my story or add too the hysteria. 2 weeks ago my family went to my wifes homecoming football game (Her 21st and my oldest daughters first homecoming; shes a freshman). We walked into the stadium and around to the front of the bleachers and the police were there doing security. I asked the policeman How do I get onto the field? He waved me right through. He said that it looked like I knew what I was doing. I had my D200 (with battery back) mounted to my monopod and was sporting the 70-200 2.8 lens. He just assumed that I was with some media group and let me in. (I was shooting for the yearbook and I did have the athletic directors permission, but the cop didnt know that). 

  I am aware and cautious about being too close but like it has been mentioned in other posts, I dont have a problem asking. I do think you just need to be friendly, honest and willing to show them what your intentions are from the start. Let them see what you have on your flashcard (because we all know we have our camera with us thats OUR sickness). 

  Fear should not supersede your desire to create a photograph that you and the subject will enjoy for the rest of their lives. How many masterpieces have been missed because we (the photographer) have just not wanted to ask permission? If your intentions are pure youll get the courage to ask for the shot.


----------

