# My photos too sexual???



## DGMPhotography (Dec 28, 2016)

Hey folks:

So I got a text from a friend of mine who was upset that my photos were "too sexual." Her thought process was that as a Christian, I shouldn't portray females in "that way." 

I use quotations, because I don't think my work is necessarily "sexual." I certainly think there's sex appeal in my work, but apparently some others think something else.

This message was sent to me, based on what she saw on my Facebook page. So I'd love if you could check out my page and let me know what you think. Is my work too sexual???

Facebook page: Daryll Morgan Photography | Facebook


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## PropilotBW (Dec 28, 2016)

I wouldn't worry about it.  She sent it in a text message.  Clearly she wasn't THAT worried about it.   I would say that she doesn't like you taking pictures of OTHER women that way.  Sounds like jealousy.


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## cherylynne1 (Dec 28, 2016)

I think you're doing something wrong if a boudoir shoot isn't sexual. That's kind of the point.


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## Vtec44 (Dec 28, 2016)

That's certainly his opinion and he's entitled to it.   It's your business, you run it the way you see fit.


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## runnah (Dec 28, 2016)

Nice try, I won't visit your facebook page.

p.s. nothing can be "too sexual".


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## SquarePeg (Dec 28, 2016)

Based on what I've seen here on TPF, I would say no, it's not.  Everyone has a different idea of how much is too much, it's a very personal preference.  Do you have a separate FB page for keeping in touch with friends - not business related?  If so, maybe keep her in the "friend zone".


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## john.margetts (Dec 28, 2016)

DGMPhotography said:


> Hey folks:
> 
> So I got a text from a friend of mine who was upset that my photos were "too sexual." Her thought process was that as a Christian, I shouldn't portray females in "that way."


After careful study of my New Testament, I can find no indication that Christ had any opinions on photography at all.


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## OGsPhotography (Dec 28, 2016)

I think you've posted this question to the wrong forum. You may want to ask a Priest.


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## pixmedic (Dec 28, 2016)

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.


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## Peeb (Dec 28, 2016)

john.margetts said:


> After careful study of my New Testament, I can find no indication that Christ had any opinions on photography at all.


While you may be literally correct (and I suspect attempting to add a bit levity), your response lacks the nuance and sensitivity required when discussing matters of faith (BTW, there are two testaments in that book that guide over a billion people in one way or another and much is said of modesty and/or temptation).  There are several major faiths as well that have even greater modesty than the Judeo-Christian ethic.

OP was not seeking a discussion of what SHOULD be appropriate, this is a business district discussion of what a person in the business of photography can/should expect the public's reaction to be to his/her work.  I would log this concern as a legitimate issue to monitor.  If a significant number of others share this opinion then perhaps your artistic vision is compromising your business model.  If not, then it's an isolated opinion.

If you don't care what offends others then you are free to do as you please, but if you are selling your images and want to maximize revenue, then avoiding offense is just good business.  OP's question is a good question for anyone in business to monitor.


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## jcdeboever (Dec 28, 2016)

pixmedic said:


> And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.



Just not the shooting eye


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## 480sparky (Dec 28, 2016)

Just FYI:  Your chili is too spicy, you put your toilet paper in the dispenser the wrong way, you keep your thermostat too warm for the winter,........... and you shouldn't use metal utensils on your pots and pans with non-stick surfaces.


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## robbins.photo (Dec 28, 2016)

OGsPhotography said:


> I think you've posted this question to the wrong forum. You may want to ask a Priest.



Good point.  We only dispense unqualified legal advice here.  Unqualified spiritual advice would probably be more readily available in a different forum..

Lol


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## jcdeboever (Dec 28, 2016)

DGMPhotography said:


> Hey folks:
> 
> So I got a text from a friend of mine who was upset that my photos were "too sexual." Her thought process was that as a Christian, I shouldn't portray females in "that way."
> 
> ...



This is the main reason I can't stand Facebook and got off it years ago. The question should be to her, give me an example, and why do you see it that way? This discussion should be done in private with both of you looking at the screen. She needs to convince you, right ? since you do not agree? 

A lady at my church said the same thing about a macro flower I did of an orchid... I'm like, what? She then when on to school about the anatomy of a plant (which I knew) and how she didn't care for my sexual tensions to be on display... I kind of put her in her place but that is another story...

The point is, when creating art and displaying it publicly, you are going to get critiqued. Social media is one revenue path for your work. How much revenue does Facebook generate for your business? If none, ask yourself if it worth it. Oh, thoroughly read the user agreement on Facebook, you may think different about posting your art work on that platform.


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## nerwin (Dec 28, 2016)

I don't see your photos sexual at all, unless you are doing boudoir which is the point. But maybe that's just because I'm an evil little atheist lol. 

But in all seriousness I see a photographer who is creating art and I guess the part of being an artist is that some people will just not agree with your visions. That's life I guess. I'd simply ignore her and continue doing what you love to do and don't let these people bring you down.


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## pixmedic (Dec 28, 2016)

Don't sweat it man. You do good work, and have developed a nice style. You can please everyone some of the time, but you can't please some people all of the time.  

Your work isn't overtly sexual in nature. 
Some is on the sensual side, but this isn't the 1800s anymore...its ok for a woman to express a little sexuality if she wants, and your work is tasteful. 

Just my opinion though.


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## Gary A. (Dec 28, 2016)

In order of importance:

1) Your first needs are to please the client;
2) Your second needs are to please yourself; and
3) Your last needs are to please everybody else.

You will never please everybody else.

Faith Wise-
As to her comment, if you are a Christian [insert type of faith here], Christianity [insert faith here] is important to you are of the same sect as your critic ... then you need to take a hard look at you photographs and within your own ethical and religious standards determine if your imagery is contrary to said standards.  If there is any question in your mind, then seek the help of a professional ... a person of the cloth, a priest/pastor/rabbi/imam/et al. 

Business Wise-
You gotta follow the money.  If you can make a killing in a 'niche' market, claiming that you capture only non-sexual portraits ... hey, go for it.  If you can make a killing in a 'niche' market of sexually stimulating portraits ... hey, go for it.  If you can combine the two markets ... you should be able to effectively double your killings.

Moi Wise-
If it was me that the question was directed towards, my rely would be something to the effect of: I do not judge my clients.  If my client desire an image with some sex appeal that is within the ethical standards of society in general and my own ethical standards in particular, then I will comply with their wishes.  If my client desires an image which is asexual which is within the ethical standards of society in general and my own ethical standards in particular, then again, I will comply with their wishes.  I do not judge others, only myself.  I would be more than happy to try my best in capturing your portrait in the fashion you desire.

(In this particular case, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.")


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## john.margetts (Dec 28, 2016)

Peeb said:


> john.margetts said:
> 
> 
> > After careful study of my New Testament, I can find no indication that Christ had any opinions on photography at all.
> ...


the complainant's objection was 'as a Christian' therefore what Christ said is the only relevant issue. Christ said we should be tolerant and to never judge others (or to only judge once we have become perfect ourselves). I think my response was both nuanced and sensitive. I might have ignored those things that some people want to include in being 'Christian' but have nothing to do with Christ's teaching but that is not me being insensitive, that is me being accurate.


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## waday (Dec 28, 2016)

"Please feel free to unfollow me if you no longer wish see my photography."


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## DGMPhotography (Dec 28, 2016)

Thank you all so much for your feedback! I did talk to her about it when she asked me, and honestly, I do feel like she was just jealous. 

I asked her to explain herself and her comments were: I accentuate the butts/chests, and my models often have a "come hither" look. 

I explained to her that to create a flattering image for women you often want that "S" shape, and that to a lot of women, being sexy is empowering. So... idk, hopefully this is a small minority of people who feel this way about my work.


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## jcdeboever (Dec 28, 2016)

DGMPhotography said:


> Thank you all so much for your feedback! I did talk to her about it when she asked me, and honestly, I do feel like she was just jealous.
> 
> I asked her to explain herself and her comments were: I accentuate the butts/chests, and my models often have a "come hither" look.
> 
> I explained to her that to create a flattering image for women you often want that "S" shape, and that to a lot of women, being sexy is empowering. So... idk, hopefully this is a small minority of people who feel this way about my work.



Give her a free shoot session...


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## DGMPhotography (Dec 28, 2016)

jcdeboever said:


> DGMPhotography said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you all so much for your feedback! I did talk to her about it when she asked me, and honestly, I do feel like she was just jealous.
> ...



Funny thing is... she did agree to model for me at some point. Not sure how she'd feel about that now lol.


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## jcdeboever (Dec 28, 2016)

DGMPhotography said:


> jcdeboever said:
> 
> 
> > DGMPhotography said:
> ...



Probably nude, right?


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## ronlane (Dec 28, 2016)

jcdeboever said:


> DGMPhotography said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you all so much for your feedback! I did talk to her about it when she asked me, and honestly, I do feel like she was just jealous.
> ...



Sorry I'd have to disagree with this. IMHO, you've wasted too much time already worrying about this. Keep doing what you do and don't worry about one person that isn't happy or is jealous of your work. Until you have issues with unhappy paying clients or you can't sleep at night because you don't feel right about shooting what you are shooting then it shouldn't matter. You know that you can please everyone and to try to do so would be futile.


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## DGMPhotography (Dec 28, 2016)

ronlane said:


> jcdeboever said:
> 
> 
> > DGMPhotography said:
> ...



It's just she's a close friend of mine, so I do respect her opinion. But you guys are right - it's my work, and I personally don't feel it's "too" sexual. I am happy with the direction I've been going, and the improvement I've been seeing lately.


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## waday (Dec 28, 2016)

DGMPhotography said:


> It's just she's a close friend of mine, so I do respect her opinion.


So... I'm confused. Is she saying this to help your business or to further her religious agenda?


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## DGMPhotography (Dec 28, 2016)

waday said:


> DGMPhotography said:
> 
> 
> > It's just she's a close friend of mine, so I do respect her opinion.
> ...



As Christians, we are encouraged to disciple to one another and to hold each other accountable. This was probably an instance of that.


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## waday (Dec 28, 2016)

DGMPhotography said:


> waday said:
> 
> 
> > DGMPhotography said:
> ...


Ok, religious agenda it is. You'll have to decide what's more important: your business or religious judgement against you.


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## DanOstergren (Dec 28, 2016)

Tell her to mind her own business and stop telling others how they should or shouldn't make their art/ live their lives.

After looking at your photos, I suspect that she is projecting the guilt of her own sexual reactions to your photos onto you.


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## Drive-By-Shooter (Jan 8, 2017)

thank her for her feedback & that you will take it under consideration.  keep making fine art.  your work is very good.

governments & religions are control structures.  when people use them as beLIEf systems, no benefit can be had by engaging  discourse!


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## table1349 (Jan 8, 2017)

If that person isn't signing you paycheck, paying your rent or food or sharing your bed who cares?


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## unpopular (Jan 8, 2017)

Ok. A lot of the comments here are kind of wishy-washy prude/anti-prude/religion/anti-religion/businessy yammering. None of this really addresses the question you're asking.

I've seen a bit of your work, and here is my take on it. A lot of your images are sexy, but generally speaking these images are the cosplay ones. Sexy is kind of a big part of that scene, so I personally think you're documenting cosplay - of which sexy is a part of. Boudoir would fall under the same sort of thing - it just comes with the subject.

I've also seen a bit of your fashion and portraiture, and I don't think really feel like you're being exploitive there. You're not one of the many bros with a camera out there who make "art nudes". You know the type.

Now, whether your sexy photos are too sexy for your moral beliefs, that's really only something you can answer. we cannot determine this for you, that is sort of between you and God. I'd suggest you take a good look at them before and after you read scripture and pray and then decide if this is something that is in line with your religious morals. If this makes you cringe a little, I think you've answered your own question.

I think what you're really asking is if boudoir and cosplay are too sexy a subject for a Christian professional to photograph with a clean continence. But neither us nor your friend can really determine that on your behalf. Thats something that only you can answer.


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## DGMPhotography (Jan 9, 2017)

unpopular said:


> Ok. A lot of the comments here are kind of wishy-washy prude/anti-prude/religion/anti-religion/businessy yammering. None of this really addresses the question you're asking.
> 
> I've seen a bit of your work, and here is my take on it. A lot of your images are sexy, but generally speaking these images are the cosplay ones. Sexy is kind of a big part of that scene, so I personally think you're documenting cosplay - of which sexy is a part of. Boudoir would fall under the same sort of thing - it just comes with the subject.
> 
> ...



Thanks for your comment. I think she was talking more about my semi-boudoir stuff. 

I've thought about it and I think that what I'm doing is perfectly fine in God's eyes. Either way, I don't feel bad about my work. I just want to be conscious of how it's perceived.


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## unpopular (Jan 9, 2017)

Like i said, you're not a 'bro with a camera' that tries to justify soft porn with art.

What I think is important to remember is that we all have our moral sensibilities, and while there is nothing wrong with expressing it to others, ultimately it's ours to decide.

Your friend is free to feel your photos aren't in line with her moral compass, and you're free to feel that they are with yours. God/whatever (i'm not Christian) gave us morality, it's up to us to navigate it.

This isn't so much directed at you but rather those replying here - it is equally wrong to chastise someone for disagreeing with our work as it is for them to chastise us for making it. If you feel the need to get all huffy about something like this it's because you're insecure about they point they're making.


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## ronlane (Jan 9, 2017)

unpopular said:


> ..... it is equally wrong to chastise someone for disagreeing with our work as it is for them to chastise us for making it. If you feel the need to get all huffy about something like this it's because you're insecure about they point they're making.



agreed.


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## Braineack (Jan 9, 2017)

I think the best solution is to only post pictures of women making sandwiches...


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## jcdeboever (Jan 9, 2017)

Also, keep in mind there are many people living with a critical spirit.


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## unpopular (Jan 9, 2017)

jcdeboever said:


> Also, keep in mind there are many people living with a critical spirit.



I don't think there is anything wrong with that, honestly. People are free to disagree or criticize and voice their viewpoints all they want.

Too many adults are little babies about things, still crying 'you're not the boss of me!' whenever someone merely expresses what they think they should be doing. If more people would accept that people have opinions that differ from their own, this wouldn't be a problem.

If they're 'not the boss of you' then what's the big deal? Just put on your grown up pants and take it or leave it.


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## pixmedic (Jan 9, 2017)

unpopular said:


> jcdeboever said:
> 
> 
> > Also, keep in mind there are many people living with a critical spirit.
> ...



yea but...if that happened, who would use all the "safe rooms" for offended people?


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## unpopular (Jan 9, 2017)

yeah, but I'm even more sick of people who think that just because they have the right to express an opinion that others don't have the right to be offended by it.

If you offend someone, again, either reconsider what you're saying or don't and just move on. Don't get all emotional because someone strongly disagrees with you.


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## jcdeboever (Jan 9, 2017)

unpopular said:


> jcdeboever said:
> 
> 
> > Also, keep in mind there are many people living with a critical spirit.
> ...


It's not whether it's right or wrong.


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## DGMPhotography (Jan 9, 2017)

Yeah, I mean ultimately an artist's work is always going to be criticized for one reason or another. I try not to take it personally. Can't say the same for when I first started posting here 4/5 years ago though haha.


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## unpopular (Jan 9, 2017)

i think i've always been too arrogant to take things personally.


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## table1349 (Jan 9, 2017)

Braineack said:


> I think the best solution is to only post pictures of women making sandwiches...


Or putting another log on the fire.


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## snowbear (Jan 9, 2017)

Braineack said:


> I think the best solution is to only post pictures of women making sandwiches...





gryphonslair99 said:


> Or putting another log on the fire.



There you go . . . a gallery of naked housework!


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## unpopular (Jan 9, 2017)

^^ let's not go there.


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## pixmedic (Jan 9, 2017)

unpopular said:


> ^^ let's not go there.


+ i dunno... a lot

Seriously.... let's NOT go there.


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## DGMPhotography (Jan 10, 2017)

lol


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## Braineack (Jan 10, 2017)

just reply that she's getting to emotional.

That usually goes over well...


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## unpopular (Jan 10, 2017)

yes. In my experience women definitely appreciate that. Ask her if she's on her period, too. That could explain a lot.


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## runnah (Jan 10, 2017)

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.


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