# Wedding Guest Photographer's Etiquette Help



## achua00 (May 18, 2012)

Hello all. In March I attended a close friend's wedding.  She knew that I was starting a photography business and she volunteered and said, you can use images from my wedding for your portfolio.  Her hired wedding photographer has not given her images from her wedding yet and barely any of her friends from the wedding posted any images on Facebook.  (I don't think there are any).  On Wed. I asked her if I could still post the images (double checking on my part) on my website and also on FB & she said "yes".  This morning I get a call and she had another friend text her to tell her that I should have waited until her main photographer was finished with her photos before any of her guests can post.  I asked if it was in her contract and she said "no".  

Her friend has a boyfriend who is a wedding photographer and apparently MY friend turned him down and didn't hire him as her wedding photog.  So it's the girlfriend of this photographer that told her this information.  My friend said she read online that there's this guest etiquette but I have never heard of such a thing and after googling nothing came up in my searches.
At this point should I untag her?  She said "just don't post anymore images" and I said "I don't have that much to post because I was your "GUEST!"   Any advice?  
Obviously I am just starting out and my blog is so new and I felt like if my friend said to use the images I'm going to use them...but her friend is telling her otherwise.​


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## Buckster (May 18, 2012)

Your friend, the bride, doesn't need any extra drama in her life, and neither do you.  Neither do you want to do something here that might strain your friendship - it's just not worth it.

Do whatever she says regarding this issue, and put it behind you.  When the time comes, you can put all the photos up, and in the meantime, it's not going to break your leg to wait a while to put them online.


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## jwbryson1 (May 18, 2012)

Buckster said:


> Your friend, the bride, doesn't need any extra drama in her life, and neither do you.  Neither do you want to do something here that might strain your friendship - it's just not worth it.
> 
> Do whatever she says regarding this issue, and put it behind you.  When the time comes, you can put all the photos up, and in the meantime, it's not going to break your leg to wait a while to put them online.




Good advice.  Sometimes you don't have to figure out the "technically correct" answer to do the right thing.  Good job Buckster.


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## MReid (May 18, 2012)

Well there is no rule about guests posting pictures, they normally just post away.
Now if your friend has asked you not to post anymore then don't post anymore.

Who cares what a friend of a friend of a friend thinks or says. As Buckster said, proceed per what your friend the bride says....but yeah there are no unspoken rules restricting friends of the bride from posting pictures before the pro.
What if the pro takes 6 months?


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO.  Post it on facebook without signature or watermark. 

I will give you an example.  Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding.  You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer.  How do you feel if you were photographer A?


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## achua00 (May 18, 2012)

I appreciate everyone's comments.  This is nice and helpful.  I DID mention on my blog that I was clearly a "guest photographer" and that she was my friend.  She has not told me to remove my blog, she just said please don't post more pics.


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## Buckster (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO.  Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.
> 
> I will give you an example.  Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding.  You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer.  How do you feel if you were photographer A?


Like a dumbass for not putting something in the contract that protected me from that sort of thing, if it's really important to me.

"Crossing the line..."  LOL!  The line ends at the signature line of your contract.  If it ain't in there, too bad for you.


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## DiskoJoe (May 18, 2012)

Your friend was nice and told you could do this. So you be nice and do what she asks. Then post them later after she has finished all her business with the main photog. I would have talked to them about this as well to see if they cared. Dont step on pros toes. Plus you could have networked with them which you obviously did not. Networking is key to jobs like this. They might have thrown you a bone for a job they did not want or have time for.


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## Shutter Nutter (May 18, 2012)

I've never come across anyone saying anything like this before. What would it have to do with me (as a main wedding photographer) if other people want to put photographs they have taken, online or anywhere else?

The main photographer will (at least should have) been paid before the event. The only reason they might want to complain is if they think they might miss out on any sales of prints after the event, but that'll only happen if the guest's photos are as good or better, in which case it's tough.

If your friend (the bride) is feeling uncomfortable then do her a favour and do what she asks as she did you a favour in the first place, but not because some jumped up, boyfriend of a friend of a friend photographer thinks there's some 'un-written rule'. Utter tosh!


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## ChristianGrattan (May 18, 2012)

I understand that you want to get your work out there, and good for you for showing initiative. 

I am sorry that the bride's friends BF didn't get the gig.  The thing for the friend to do is ASK THE BRIDE why she made the choice. That is an appropriate business thing to do.  People don't hire me all the time.  I like to know why. For some I am too expensive.  I am OK with that.  I couldn't afford me either. For others it is that they don't like my style, personality, or my shoes.  Who knows until you ask.  Then you see if the feedback is useful. Incorporate it if it is.

That said.  This friend is not really a constructive friend.  She is causing a lot of drama.  And frankly I am through with her shenanigans. 

The bottom line is that you need pictures.  I say find 4 photographers in your area that are doing well as what you want to be doing them and offer to help them for free.  PESTER them until they let you around. Eventually you will get a ton of pics. An added benefit is that when you are good enough they will send business your way.  In the meantime forget all of this and get to calling pros.

Good luck.


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## TCampbell (May 18, 2012)

Wow - this sounds like a script from a soap opera.  

I do wonder where this modern etiquette comes from.  I've carefully checked my "Miss Manners" books and it's not in there -- clearly Miss Manners is so "last century".  

The short answer:  Don't ruin your friendship over this.

But... if it makes you feel any better, there is no such etiquette.  Your friend's friend's boyfriend/photographer (so you're practically siblings) is whacked in the head.  

A wedding day is NOT about the photographer.  It's a very exciting day in the life of the bride & groom.  Sharing the photos from the event is part of that excitement.  It's tragic that this idiot photographer (who wasn't even THE photographer) is ruining it for everyone by brainwashing the bride into believing she's breaching some etiquette if she lets anyone show their photos from the event.


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## Derrel (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO.  Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.
> 
> I will give you an example.  Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding.  You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer.  How do you feel if you were photographer A?



Who cares. If you're ANY good at ALL as a shooter, then YOUR images will knock the socks off of those shot by the guests and Uncle Bob and Aunt Mildred. This isn't 1975 any longer...at a wedding there are often 50 to 100 cameras and cell phone cameras taking images...to say that it is uncool to post the images? I don't agree with that....that smacks of severe insecurity. And, as a private, third party, WTF would I allow somebody ELSE to control where and how and WHEN "my images" are to be shown or displayed??? Seriously man...think it through a bit.


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## davisphotos (May 18, 2012)

As a full time wedding pro, I really don't care if the guests post photos before I do, they just make mine look better when I do post them! However, I have met with couples that were adamant that they wanted my photos to be the first ones posted on FaceBook, and they didn't want guests posting pictures of the ceremony even before the reception started. They also don't want to have hundreds of unflattering photos taken by guests posted.

In any case, if your friend has asked you not to post any more photos, don't post any more photos. It's as easy as that. Think of them as a client-if you have a client that asks for you not to post any more photos of their wedding, then it would be in your best interest to follow their wishes. I understand that when you are just starting out you need to get images for a portfolio, but it is definitely in your best interest to not start off your business with a squabble with a friend. Just let it go.


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## rub (May 18, 2012)

As stated above, there is no "etiquette" for a guest, other than not waering white, drinking till you puke, or making out with someone from the wedding party or their family on the dance floor 

As for the photos, post away, withing reason and the brides wishes. Make it clear that you were a guest, and even link to the official photographer if you feel so obliged.


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

Derrel said:


> Schwettylens said:
> 
> 
> > IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO.  Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.
> ...



You completely missed my point. You think it is cool if I shoot a wedding and in a few days after that I see someone else posted photos with watermark all over it?  People will start thinking that is YOUR work.  It is not about the rules.. there is no rule.  It is about common sense and do what is right.  I will be pissed if I was the hired photographer and I see someone posted photos from the wedding on B&G facebook with "Precious Moment Photography" watermark on it with cheesy selective coloring.


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## Derrel (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> Derrel said:
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> > Schwettylens said:
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Your "point" is simply ridiculous and self-serving. What--do you think that only "YOU", the hired weekend wedding shooter, has the technology and the savvy to post images on the web???? 

Are you telling me that you imagine/worry/fear that people will automatically "assume" that any images they see on the web will be those of the "Official Photographer"? Is that your assertion? 

Oh, come on....let me recover from laughing for a bit before continuing....

zOMG Schwettylens...welcome to the second decade of the 21st century dude!! Images appear all over, on the web, and in e-mail, and social media outlets, from the cameras of MULTIPLE people after ANY event of ANY importance these days. Hell...my iPhone can upload images directly to Flickr, Facebook, or Instagram, or Twitter within SECONDS of me shooting the images...


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## rub (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> Derrel said:
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> > Schwettylens said:
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People wont think it is your work for long. And when you do post you will look 1000x better.  Unless its in the contract you cant really dicate who posts what on Facebook.  Sad but true.


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## Overread (May 18, 2012)

OP - you've already had most of the advice you need and I can only second that if your friend is worried just leave the situation unstrained and hold back on showing them for a little while. I (personally) can't think why there would be any problems at all showing them, but if its worrying her just be nice - it should only be for a short while until the regular photographer has uploaded theirs. 



Schwettylens said:


> You completely missed my point. You think it is cool if I shoot a wedding and in a few days after that I see someone else posted photos with watermark all over it?  People will start thinking that is YOUR work.  It is not about the rules.. there is no rule.  It is about common sense and do what is right.  I will be pissed if I was the hired photographer and I see someone posted photos from the wedding on B&G facebook with "Precious Moment Photography" watermark on it with cheesy selective coloring.



I'm a little confused why you'd be annoyed. 
They are their photos that they have shot at a the wedding. Unless you had a clause written into your contract which prohibited photos being taken by other parties at the wedding then they have every right to take the photos - post them online - put whatever editing or watermark (of their own) they want over them. Heck they can sell them to friends or give them away for free if they want - without any problems what so ever. 

As a pro you shouldn't even feel threatened by them; the average photographer with a camera shouldn't be able to outclass you for a whole event. Sure they might get one or two good shots at key moments you weren't at - but all your earning bread and butter shots should be solid.


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## raider (May 18, 2012)

post em, let em sue you.  i'd like to see them come up with that one in the law books.  you clicked the shutter, you own the photos - the paid photographer should have made their business presence known with cards directing guests on where to look for the pro photos.


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## Overread (May 18, 2012)

Just a point people - but the message hasn't come from the Pro photographer at the wedding - it's come from a friend of the Bride who happens to have a photographer boyfriend (who didn't shoot this job).


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## bunny99123 (May 18, 2012)

IMO: You will get plenty of opportunities in the future to take photos for your fb favorite page, so if she is a good friend, out of respect I would remove them all until the hired photographer releases his/her. I worked as a wedding coordinator for several years, and a wedding can bring the worst out of some people.  The bride is very stressed, because it is her dream day, and wants everything to be perfect (never perfect wedding).  This results in a lot of people not acting like them normal self.  In the old days, the Photographers that were hired would not allow anyone to take a picture.  If others are posting pics on there regular fb page, I do think it is okay for you to do the same without your name on them, but I agree that you should not post pics on your fb favorite page with pictures with your name on them until the she has posted the ones from her Photographer. It appears as if you where the hired Photographer (most people look at the photos, not that you have posted you were not the Photographer).  Just be a friend on this one from your heart. No, the others should not get involved into the situation = DRAMA. Stomp drama out like a wild fire.  Word of mouth spreads like a wild fire.


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## tirediron (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> Derrel said:
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Ummm.... Robin, if you're worried about your work being confused with a "Friend of the bride's" you might wanna order the second session of those lessons from NYIP!


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## Buckster (May 18, 2012)

LOL!


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## manaheim (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> Derrel said:
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I must still not be getting it, because this sounds really crazy to me.

As a professional hired to shoot a wedding, how would I care what others with cameras at the wedding do?  I'm a pro, and I stand on the quality of my own work.  What someone else shoots has zero impact on me, unless my pictures suck... at which point, I have other issues and I shouldn't be getting so much defensive as I should be getting on the ball and getting better.

What you're saying just sounds like defensive protectionism... but again, maybe I'm missing your point still.

Edit: I should have read the second page before posting... others have basically said the same thing.  BTW... to the OP, I agree with the "ignore the person claiming you are out of line, but do what the bride wants regardless".


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

Sigh.. All I said was.. post the freaking photos and dont make it look like you are the official photographer (no *watermark*).  I have seen ENOUGH pros get mad because of this.  Geez people.


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## Overread (May 18, 2012)

But watermarks don't make you professional. All it is is a visual display of the creator of a photo in a name form. 

Honestly it happens in loads of visual mediums - painters sign their work - sculptors will often initial the base - photographers put a watermark. Doesn't matter if they are paid or not or if they are pro or if they are above a certain arbitrary quality level. They made it - they can sign their name all over if it they want to.


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

It seems that some people here just scan trough what people say instead of reading it.  Go ahead.. post photos that you shot as a guest on your *PROFESSIONAL* page.  It does nothing but pissing other professional off.  People here get tick off when "non professional" photos make it to the "pro" forum on TPF, yet they think it is ok to shoot a wedding as a *GUEST *and post it on a *Business Page*?  I dont really care if the guests post the photos they took.  I do care if one of the photos have some kind of "professional" watermark on it.


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## Overread (May 18, 2012)

But if they are photos they have taken and if those photos are representative of their own quality of product in a professional capacity they can post them on their business website. Heck its often advised for amateurs to second shoot weddings just to get those photos to make a start with their own portfolio of work to open their business with.*

Now I can agree that its somewhat out of line if that person hounds after the photographer for the entire wedding - but a few snaps here and there shouldn't be any the worry at all.




* - far as I know and feel about the only photos that a person takes which shouldn't appear on the business pages are the kind where someone else has posed and set the lighting for the shoot and the photographer just runs along and takes the picture (ie at lighting sessions and the like). Then I agree that its wrong to present that as a class of work they can produce because - they haven't been in full control of the process to really class the full final effect as theirs and as representative of what they can achieve.


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

Overread said:


> But if they are photos they have taken and if those photos are representative of their own quality of product in a professional capacity they can post them on their business website. Heck its often advised for amateurs to *second shoot* weddings just to get those photos to make a start with their own portfolio of work to open their business with.
> 
> Now I can agree that its somewhat out of line if that person hounds after the photographer for the entire wedding - but a few snaps here and there shouldn't be any the worry at all.



That is SECOND shoot.  All of photographers I have 2nd allow me to use the photos for my marketing material.  They didnt make me sign a contract.  But.. .I do use my common sense.  I always put the link to their website, I dont blog the photos before the main shooter has a chance.  Yes, I do put my signature on wedding I 2nd shoot.  

Either you agree or disagree with me, the fact is... you will piss off a lot of photographers if you do that.  Just use common sense.


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## Derrel (May 18, 2012)

"Just use common sense," eh???

Do you have any of that? You seem to hold a rather *un-common* point of view here, as compared with the stated opinions of multiple other people.


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

remember, the subject of this thread is "Etiquette".  OP took the shots.  OP can do whaterver he/she wants.  They are his/her photos.


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

Derrel, do you shoot weddings?  Do you shoot ANY photos?  Are you a robot?  Are you real?  Where do you live?  Who are you?  You are a professional photo forum responder.



Derrel said:


> "Just use common sense," eh???
> 
> Do you have any of that? You seem to hold a rather *un-common* point of view here, as compared with the stated opinions of multiple other people.


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## Buckster (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> remember, the subject of this thread is "Etiquette".  OP took the shots.  OP can do whaterver he/she wants.  They are his/her photos.


But if they do, they're "crossing the line" and they'll be "pissing off a lot of professional photographers".  Probably wake up with a horse head in their bed for it...


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## Robin Usagani (May 18, 2012)

See.. you twisted words of what I said again.  Tell me where I said it is crossing the line to post the photos?  All I said was, it is crossing the line if you make people believe they are your PROFESSIONAL work.  I have shot weddings dirt cheap to build my portfolio, but there is no way in hell I would post wedding photos I took as a guest on my PROFESSIONAL portfolio.  I will post them on facebook... but not on my professional page or facebook business page

another pissing contest on TPF.



Buckster said:


> Schwettylens said:
> 
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> > remember, the subject of this thread is "Etiquette".  OP took the shots.  OP can do whaterver he/she wants.  They are his/her photos.
> ...


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## tirediron (May 18, 2012)

Schwettylens said:


> ... another pissing contest on TPF...


*No, another CLOSED pissing contest on TPF!*


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