# Where is the community at TPF?



## bigtwinky

Is it just me getting irritated, but has the last month or so seen a big increase in the amount of "drive by posters".  You know the ones I'm talking about, they have 1 post and its them posting a link to their flickr or what not asking for CC.  Not necessarily the ones with low post counts, everyone starts with a low post count.  You can easily tell someone who will contribute vs someone who will not.  I was looking at someone's back posts and their last 18 posts have been all about the threads that they started for CC, no comments or time spent commenting or discussing anything else.  Thats a very selfish way to approach a community IMO.  And before you say it, I know, I don't have to respond to that poster, its my choice, bla bla bla, but some chose to ignore and move on, others chose to try and discuss in hopes of change.

People don't seem to take the time to actually contribute to the forum and make the community better.  I see the same half dozen people giving GOOD cc in posts, and props to all of you who do.  And no, I don't consider "Nice job" good CC.  I've been here for a little over a year, so maybe its just a regular cycle the forum goes through.  

Personally, I'm getting a wee bit irritated by things like this and it makes me not want to take the time to post honest CC on images.  I understand why some of the "old timers" don't frequent the beginner boards, but I would feel guilty not doing so as this is where I have posted and received some good CC from a few people.

I dunno, just ranting I guess.


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## PhotoXopher

I agree... I used to give my input a lot more but have stopped wasting my time lately because most of it was for people I thought were new and wanted some input rather than another hit to their Flickr account.

These days if I give my opinion on someone's work there has to be an example or 2 or 3 in the post itself.


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## Kpablo

Well...I'm a newb. I know nothing about photography, I plan on sticking around to learn a few things. I love forums, I'm part of Doberman Forums, Reptile Forums, Pit Bull forums, and now this forum. I find forums are the best way to learn because there are people willing to talk one on one. I don't plan on sharing my photos often, because, well, there embarrassing. I'm a bit sensitive and take criticism personal. I did add my blog to my signature because if someone wanted to take there own time to look at my photos they can, then critique them. But I am much too shy to go out and post photos all the time.


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## DennyCrane

It's not a completely bad thing and here's why- a forum needs more width than depth. That means a forum is better off with many threads with a few posts than fewer threads with lots of posts. Googleability is the reason. It's like being in the batting cage. The more pitches fired at you, the more opportunity there is for a home run. Every hit TPF gets from some random thread on a Google search is another opportunity to get a good member signed up. Sure, you'll get those "drive-bys" as you stated, but that's par for the course. You're building traffic to the site. And that also includes non-members... people who searched for an answer, found us, and then marked us as a favorite to sift through for information. 

And of course, all that increases opportunities for people to click on the revenue-generating Google ads on every page. Every click-through, the site generates income. 

So, we'll see the "Vote for my picture!" threads, the one-shot C&C posts, but in the meantime, we're building good memberships, too.


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## bigtwinky

I totally understand the need for the business side of the forum.

But as a community, getting 20 threads with 2 replies does not increase the depth of the community.  After a while, when people manage to get beyond the shallow water of what the forum is and require deeper waters to progress, they won't find that here and that will make them move on to other forums or other ways to learn where they can get into that deep water.

So its a never ending cycle of newer posters.   Good for the business, bad for the community.

I did a quick count of 42 people with over 5,000 posts.  I looked at the names, and there are maybe 4-5 that randomly post these days, and maybe 1-2 that post more often, both of those being mods on the site.

I have to start hitting the lower parts of page 2 and page 3 to start seeing more names that I recognize as regular posters.


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## itznfb

A lot of people see a forum as a resource to get a questioned answered they aren't able to find on their own. The problem with that is they aren't familiar with forums and don't search the forum itself or don't search properly and ask a repetitive question which then in turn irritates long time members which then causes those members to flame the newcomer deterring them from returning to the forum.

I've joined a forum on topics I'm not familiar with to just get a quick answer.


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## Kpablo

itznfb said:


> A lot of people see a forum as a resource to get a questioned answered they aren't able to find on their own. The problem with that is they aren't familiar with forums and don't search the forum itself or don't search properly and ask a repetitive question which then in turn irritates long time members which then causes those members to flame the newcomer deterring them from returning to the forum.
> 
> I've joined a forum on topics I'm not familiar with to just get a quick answer.


 
This happens in every forum. I've been a member of a Doberman forum for over a year, and it gets so repetive when the newbies ask the same question over and over and over, instead of doing a search. 

The problem is, when people join a forum and don't have "forum experience" most newbies don't even know about the search function, even more so don't know how to use the search function. Sometimes, it's not a matter of laziness but ignorance.

Another thought, and I find this about other forums I'm a member of. People post photos to ooo and aww about without posting any real content on other threads. Why? Well, sometimes people just don't have the socialization skills, and don't know WHAT to say in other threads.


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## bigtwinky

itznfb said:


> A lot of people see a forum as a resource to get a questioned answered they aren't able to find on their own. The problem with that is they aren't familiar with forums and don't search the forum itself or don't search properly and ask a repetitive question which then in turn irritates long time members which then causes those members to flame the newcomer deterring them from returning to the forum.
> 
> I've joined a forum on topics I'm not familiar with to just get a quick answer.


 
Good point.  I guess its just not the way I do things.  Most questions on TPF can be answered by googling or checking out back posts.  So I guess its society being lazy and wanting an instant answer?

Is it that they tried to search and weren't able to find or really, just didn't give it a shot?  How many times have there been the same question on the same page in the same forum by two different people?  Where both threads end up giving similar answers?

Whats the solution... making better use of the search tool, making it more obvious, forcing people to search prior to posting, prior to submitting their post, give the user a list of matching topics,...?

No one likes to be flamed, and that will turn away some people.  But people also don't like to have their question unanswered.  But I guess if there is someone who will answer it, then its all good.


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## PhotoXopher

Funny you mention search...

I think people don't search because they'll get flamed for bringing a 6 month old thread back to life 

New User:
Page 16 of the thread... I have this same problem but after reading 6 pages of arguments I couldn't find the answer, did anyone ever solve this?

Seasoned Member: Way to bring up an old flame war!

New User: Sorry.


New User Starts new thread.

Seasoned Member: This has been asked a million times, try doing a search!


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## Derrel

bigtwinky said:


> Is it just me getting irritated, but has the last month or so seen a big increase in the amount of "drive by posters".  >SNIP>
> People don't seem to take the time to actually contribute to the forum and make the community better.  I see the same half dozen people giving GOOD cc in posts, and props to all of you who do>SNIP>
> 
> Personally, I'm getting a wee bit irritated by things like this and it makes me not want to take the time to post honest CC on images. >SNIP
> 
> I dunno, just ranting I guess.



Well, now that you mention it, yesterday you brought this up,and I think you are 100% correct--LOTS more 1st-time signups with a request, or admonition to "come crit my work!" or "visit my Flickr site", from pro photogs, Flickr users galore, "hey,stop by here and tell me what I need to learn," etc. At ALL levels, from noob, enthusiast, MWAC, commercial pros--TPF has been bombarded with people posting here, asking for C&C, but not posting any photos--but instead only hot-linking to outside sites--often with the blatant, fairly obvious desire to build traffic. It is *that* type of behavior I find most reprehensible. It's a big time-waster,and those people do *nothing* but push good posts off the first few pages.


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## bigtwinky

N0YZE said:


> Funny you mention search...
> 
> I think people don't search because they'll get flamed for bringing a 6 month old thread back to life
> 
> New User:
> Page 16 of the thread... I have this same problem but after reading 6 pages of arguments I couldn't find the answer, did anyone ever solve this?
> 
> Seasoned Member: Way to bring up an old flame war!
> 
> New User: Sorry.
> 
> 
> New User Starts new thread.
> 
> Seasoned Member: This has been asked a million times, try doing a search!


 
I've seen threads like this as well.  One was bumped for no apparent reason than the person saying "me too".

Another was bumped with some actually added value, then someone who I consider more of a troll told them off, which was not right.

Both of those were requests for CC, one was about HDR I believe.

What I'm referring to in searching older threads are things like
- which tripod should I buy
- which telephoto lens is the best
- how do I HDR
- any recommendations on sites to sell my photos on
- sites to sell prints from
- bags to buy
...


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## bigtwinky

You know whats funny?  I was thinking that this thread was probably already posted a while ago and already discussed.  But I didn't do a backpost search to find it.

:lmao:

Ok... sorry.  Back to this thread.


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## DennyCrane

The biggest problem I see here is the flame wars. A n00b comes in, makes a post, either asking a question or something else, and without warning, 2 or 3 people turn the thread into a flame war. This is what drives people away. Sure, some regulars giggle and make popcorn references, but it drives new people away. I'm not talking about a heated debate... that's healthy for a forum. It's shows people's passions on a subject. It's the personal attacks that have nothing to do with taking pictures that's the problem. It's a hostile environment. That is the lack of community. 

This site lacks enough moderation of the posts. People involved in that behavior should have those posts deleted and told to take their fights to PMs.


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## itznfb

There are actually plug-ins for vbulletin that eliminate the search problem. I use them on my forums and they work about 99% of the time. I use an AJAX based plug-in; when you type something in the subject line of a new thread it starts an active search and searches threads based on what you're typing and displays similar threads and doesn't allow you type in the body field until the search results are finished.

Problem solved.


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## bigtwinky

DennyCrane said:


> The biggest problem I see here is the flame wars. A n00b comes in, makes a post, either asking a question or something else, and without warning, 2 or 3 people turn the thread into a flame war. This is what drives people away. Sure, some regulars giggle and make popcorn references, but it drives new people away. I'm not talking about a heated debate... that's healthy for a forum. It's shows people's passions on a subject. It's the personal attacks that have nothing to do with taking pictures that's the problem. It's a hostile environment. That is the lack of community.
> 
> This site lacks enough moderation of the posts. People involved in that behavior should have those posts deleted and told to take their fights to PMs.


 
Do you have any specific references?  I get what you are saying, but other than the erlll3 posts, I can't think of anything else.  Feel free to PM if you dont want to post


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## DennyCrane

PM'd.


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## kundalini

Off the top of my head.....

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/...tudent-considering-switching-nikon-canon.html


http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/...-photo-gallery/183907-d-90-waterproofing.html


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## bigtwinky

lol, I had read that Student going Nikon to Canon thread when it was a 1 page thread, and I found the user got enough information in it.  I didn't revisit the thread as I felt there wasn't much added that could benefit the OP.

Funny to see that is had gone down to the usual Nikon vs Canon, who is better and at what type of thread.  

I haven't checked the D90 waterproof thread at all... not sure I should now lol


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## PhotoXopher

Compared to other various forums I've been on (from GPS to Trucks), there's a lot less moderation here... a LOT less.

There's plusses and minusses to both ends of the extreme... Too much moderation causes people to not post as much, too little causes threads to go off topic almost immediately.

The big problem is finding good moderators... some get a big head over the title while others are too lax about it and don't want to make anyone mad at them. We have some good ones here, just not enough in my opinion.

I've rarely seen action taken without a post/thread getting reported.


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## Chiller

bigtwinky said:


> *I did a quick count of 42 people with over 5,000 posts*. I looked at the names, and there are maybe 4-5 that randomly post these days, and maybe 1-2 that post more often, both of those being mods on the site.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Damn...busted.  I have to stop posting all together then.
Click to expand...


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## Atlas77

I totally agree with you, even though I do not have many posts I joined last winter and stopped posting because I could not afford a camera at the time. But I still have a lot of experience from this forum.

I think we need a larger community here, also the threads get very very boring to me. There is nothing new and exciting on TPF that i've seen. People are posting twice, some people post to ask what camera they should get and some people post to get C&C and they never return to TPF. The sad thing is I see a lot of the same posters on here, I have seen the majority of the posters in this thread. like N0YZE, big, and Denny.

There are also a lot less mods and updates. I hope its not advertising but I want you guys to take a look at the layout of pinkbike. Its a biking site which is one of my passions, but im hoping TPF will look like it one day. Heres a link Pinkbike.com: Latest biking news, photos, videos, events and more! The photo of the day feature would be excellent for TPF!

Anyways, I've learned a lot on here. We have a great small community.


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## Hertz van Rental

bigtwinky said:


> *I did a quick count of 42 people with over 5,000 posts*. I looked at the names, and there are maybe 4-5 that randomly post these days, and maybe 1-2 that post more often, both of those being mods on the site.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That'd be me, then.
> There used to be a very tight community here - but the board was a lot smaller then.
> As the board has gotten larger it has attracted more 'armchair professionals'.
> These are people who believe that owning a camera and taking a few snaps for their chums makes them a professional and wise in all the dark arts of Photography.
> I used to post but I got so sick and tired of these people arguing with me just for the sake of it that I gave up. If people want me to comment on their work now then they have to PM me.
> There have been a number of others who have had the same problem and have left the board for good because of it.
> Try looking in the archives for the topic 'Crit Forum' (if it hasn't all been deleted) to see what I mean.
> This here Off Topic thread used to be a lot more fun as well...
> 
> It's a bit like making coffee, isn't it Chiller?
Click to expand...


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## bigtwinky

Thanks for the insight Hertz, and taking the time to post it up.


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## Battou

Chiller said:


> bigtwinky said:
> 
> 
> 
> *I did a quick count of 42 people with over 5,000 posts*. I looked at the names, and there are maybe 4-5 that randomly post these days, and maybe 1-2 that post more often, both of those being mods on the site.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Damn...busted.  I have to stop posting all together then.
Click to expand...


As the once great Michael Jackson once said....You are not alone


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## Chiller

Battou said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bigtwinky said:
> 
> 
> 
> *I did a quick count of 42 people with over 5,000 posts*. I looked at the names, and there are maybe 4-5 that randomly post these days, and maybe 1-2 that post more often, both of those being mods on the site.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Damn...busted. I have to stop posting all together then.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> As the once great Michael Jackson once said....You are not alone
Click to expand...

  I thought it was Fox Mulder that said that


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## Battou

Chiller said:


> Battou said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Damn...busted. I have to stop posting all together then.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> As the once great Michael Jackson once said....You are not alone
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I thought it was Fox Mulder that said that
Click to expand...


but Mulder is not here with you like MJ.


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## kundalini

Hertz van Rental said:


> That'd be me, then.


 No!  I am Spartacus.


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## Eco

bigtwinky said:


> People don't seem to take the time to actually contribute to the forum and make the community better.  I see the same half dozen people giving GOOD cc in posts, and props to all of you who do.  And no, I don't consider "Nice job" good CC.  I've been here for a little over a year, so maybe its just a regular cycle the forum goes through.
> 
> Personally, I'm getting a wee bit irritated by things like this and it makes me not want to take the time to post honest CC on images.  I understand why some of the "old timers" don't frequent the beginner boards, but I would feel guilty not doing so as this is where I have posted and received some good CC from a few people.
> 
> I dunno, just ranting I guess.



Where is the community.......not in the Welcomes and Introductions - Page 2 - The Photo Forum - Photography Discussion Forum area at all.  For a forum to convert a reader into a poster can be a challenge but then when the community does not embrace the new poster the whole community concept goes down the drain.  

The same goes for the CC area, people take time to post pictures that they might be proud of and nobody can spare a couple words.  Granted sometimes saying nothing is better than something like "take up another hobby" but a zero post thread sort of tells people that the community doesn't care for them.  

My 2 cents


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## Chiller

Eco said:


> Where is the community.......not in the Welcomes and Introductions - Page 2 - The Photo Forum - Photography Discussion Forum area at all. For a forum to convert a reader into a poster can be a challenge but then when the community does not embrace the new poster the whole community concept goes down the drain.
> 
> The same goes for the CC area, people take time to post pictures that they might be proud of and nobody can spare a couple words. Granted sometimes saying nothing is better than something like "take up another hobby" but a zero post thread sort of tells people that the community doesn't care for them.
> 
> My 2 cents


 
TPF was my first photography home, back in 03, before there were 1000 members.  I was welcomed into this community with open arms, and at that point in my lame photography journey, I did not even know what an aperature or shutter speed was.   It was the members here that helped, not by telling me to go search, or look at google, or stop wasting time.  Every member had some constructive words, and now I can look back and laugh at the stoopid questions i used to ask.  
  We used to have a TPF calender, and one member would also take the time at the end of the year to have a "fun" TPF Awards contest....ya know...most influential, most consistant, and even most scary  Yeah, I think I won that back to back. 
  I seen hundreds of good people come and go, some for no reason at all but move on, some cause of the changing face of TPF, the good ones moving on to better places. 
  When I finally learned enough to carry my own in taking pictures, yeah, I was commenting on others, and was willing to help anyone.  I even enjoyed the Sunday Fight Club, till somebody got "offended" by one of my images and wrote a nasty little letter.  (you can lick my crotch by the way...you know who you are)     New owners took over who dont really care....mods are none existant, there is no community feel here, and most cant take an honest comment, or give one without getting their backs up.  I honestly believe the new owners would never attempt to make this better, and just keep it as a money machine, as everyone keeps subscribing....for what really?
  Now I only poke in here every now and then, to see if any ol timers are hanging out, and cant even remember the last time I posted an image here. 
  Im not sure if this place could ever be the way it was or can be "fixed".  It has overgrown, and been populated with people who are not interested in making a community. 

Anyways....enough of this rant.  Been down this road a few times, and it goes nowhere. 
Back to the peace and quiet of my crypt.


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## usayit

Chiller said:


> TPF was my first photography home, back in 03, before there were 1000 members.  I was welcomed into this community with open arms, and at that point in my lame photography journey, I did not even know what an aperature or shutter speed was.   It was the members here that helped, not by telling me to go search, or look at google, or stop wasting time.  Every member had some constructive words, and now I can look back and laugh at the stoopid questions i used to ask.
> We used to have a TPF calender, and one member would also take the time at the end of the year to have a "fun" TPF Awards contest....ya know...most influential, most consistant, and even most scary  Yeah, I think I won that back to back.
> I seen hundreds of good people come and go, some for no reason at all but move on, some cause of the changing face of TPF, the good ones moving on to better places.
> When I finally learned enough to carry my own in taking pictures, yeah, I was commenting on others, and was willing to help anyone.  I even enjoyed the Sunday Fight Club, till somebody got "offended" by one of my images and wrote a nasty little letter.  (you can lick my crotch by the way...you know who you are)     New owners took over who dont really care....mods are none existant, there is no community feel here, and most cant take an honest comment, or give one without getting their backs up.  I honestly believe the new owners would never attempt to make this better, and just keep it as a money machine, as everyone keeps subscribing....for what really?
> Now I only poke in here every now and then, to see if any ol timers are hanging out, and cant even remember the last time I posted an image here.
> Im not sure if this place could ever be the way it was or can be "fixed".  It has overgrown, and been populated with people who are not interested in making a community.
> 
> Anyways....enough of this rant.  Been down this road a few times, and it goes nowhere.
> Back to the peace and quiet of my crypt.



Awe Chiller....  you miss the old days too?  Just dug up two of my first threads way back when.. and yes... times were different.  Oh well...  I'm still hangin around


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## Atlas77

Sorry Chiller, but its something you have to live with. All "online forums" change faces as they grow bigger. New members join some bad, and some good. 

In my eyes there are still some very good members on this site, but a lot of drive bye posters and people that post once for camera advice.


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## Chiller

Atlas77 said:


> Sorry Chiller, but its something you have to live with. All "online forums" change faces as they grow bigger. New members join some bad, and some good.
> 
> In my eyes there are still some very good members on this site, but a lot of drive bye posters and people that post once for camera advice.


 
 Oh I totally agree. That is why I have gone elsewhere.  And yeah, there still are some good members here, but I enjoy the smaller forums, and groups I have joined.  We seem to accomplish more discussing our photos, then plastering them up and hoping somebody can post a useful comment. 
   I will still pop in to see what is going on every now and then, but have lost my drive to be a fully active member here.


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## lostprophet

bigtwinky said:


> I did a quick count of 42 people with over 5,000 posts.  I looked at the names.....



good god! proof that some people just have no life, to post over 5000 times on a forum is just insane. maybe they should get out more


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## Hertz van Rental

How many people come to this board in a genuine attempt to improve their photography?
Very few, I think. But this is largely because they don't know very much so they don't realise they still have a lot to learn.
Similarly, a lot of the people commenting on pictures don't actually know how to look at a photograph let alone how to give a crit.
But there is this deep seated belief that owning a camera makes one a 'photographer' (even though modern digital cameras do virtually all of the work), and that knowing how to look at a photograph is an innate ability in anyone with eyesight.
Such people are almost beyond help because they don't want it and think they don't need it.
All they want is for people to tell them that their snap is a work of genius or their knowledge of Photography is god-like.
And you expect such people to have a sense of community?
I certainly wouldn't want to spend any time with them.
This place has organised some awesome social get-togethers (Joshua Tree, Saffron Walden, Germany...) but that was in the days when people came to TPF to post in off-topic and chat to everyone. Posting photographs wasn't important.
I even drove a hundred miles to London after work just to meet Lumi and her bloke en route from the US to Australia. It didn't matter that I got there too late to have dinner and didn't get home until 3am. It was a TPF meet-up and that was what was important.
Why, I've even made Chiller his breakfast coffee and got Anti hooked on Toffee Crisp.
We did hula dances for the newbs, dressed in bear costumes in the dungeon, and clogged the toilets with all manner of things - nasal hair mostly.
But look at the threads - and the people - you find in here now.
It's like watching paint dry.
But then, I'm getting old and suffering from ennui.



The monkey on my shoulder is whispering in my ear and I may just have to listen. So put up the sandbags and lock the doors, Terri. You know what that monkey can get me doing 

*Edit* Woot! It's LP!!


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## Atlas77

Chiller said:


> Atlas77 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry Chiller, but its something you have to live with. All "online forums" change faces as they grow bigger. New members join some bad, and some good.
> 
> In my eyes there are still some very good members on this site, but a lot of drive bye posters and people that post once for camera advice.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh I totally agree. That is why I have gone elsewhere. And yeah, there still are some good members here, but I enjoy the smaller forums, and groups I have joined. We seem to accomplish more discussing our photos, then plastering them up and hoping somebody can post a useful comment.
> I will still pop in to see what is going on every now and then, but have lost my drive to be a fully active member here.
Click to expand...

 
May I ask what forum? 

And Hertz I couldn't agree more.


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## Hertz van Rental

Atlas77 said:


> And Hertz I couldn't agree more.



What? About my monkey or about the nasal hair clogging the John?


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## Atlas77

Hertz van Rental said:


> Atlas77 said:
> 
> 
> 
> And Hertz I couldn't agree more.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What? About my monkey or about the nasal hair clogging the John?
Click to expand...

 
Oh, just the first couple lines.


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## Hertz van Rental

:shock: I didn't realise Cory hadn't cleaned up the Coke spillage...


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## Overread

I miss the old days ----- and the otters

but mostly the old days -- 

but at least the site is mostly penguin free at last!


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## Hertz van Rental

What? You think the toilets were clogged with penguin feathers and not nasal hair as we thought?


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## Antarctican

Hertz van Rental said:


> I didn't realise Cory hadn't cleaned up the Coke spillage...


:shock:



Overread said:


> but at least the site is mostly penguin free at last!









  Don't you believe it.



Hertz van Rental said:


> What? You think the toilets were clogged with penguin feathers and not nasal hair as we thought?


:er:


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## Hertz van Rental

I've told you enough times that the Brazilian penguin is not a good idea.


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## Antarctican

Oh my, a Brazilian penguin. The thought of the possibility of frostbite has snatched my breath quite away.


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## kundalini

^^  :lmao:


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## Battou

Hertz van Rental said:


> Similarly, a lot of the people commenting on pictures don't actually know how to look at a photograph let alone how to give a crit.



I was just making mention to that concept or at least same principle just yesterday. I had said something about people not knowing how to properly deliver critwork....

*EDIT*


			
				Battou said:
			
		

> I have ample reason to believe that a major contributor to the failure of crit sections are crits delivered by those who are ignorant as to how to deliver a critique.


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## Hertz van Rental

Well, if you want to start a fight about who said it first... :greenpbl:


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## Battou

Hertz van Rental said:


> Well, if you want to start a fight about who said it first... :greenpbl:



Oh not the case, I just find it that much more validating that I'm reading it again from someone else on a different forum is all.


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## JamesMason

Please visit my flickr Flickr: Kakapo Photography's Photostream


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## Hertz van Rental

Battou said:


> Oh not the case...



I know that but I just thought I'd do a Puckish wind-up. You should know me by now :mrgreen:


----------



## terri

> The monkey on my shoulder is whispering in my ear and I may just have to listen. So put up the sandbags and lock the doors, Terri. You know what that monkey can get me doing


I'll do nothing of the kind. I've lost the master key and someone knifed the sandbags long ago. Left an awful mess. I thought it was you!


----------



## Hertz van Rental

terri said:


> Left an awful mess. I thought it was you!



Cheek*! I may have laid waste to two continents and left a lot of wreckage but I always tidied up after myself. And I've never invaded anywhere without wiping my feet first.
I can be a lot of things but clean is always first on the list** :mrgreen:



*Unless you were suggesting that the mess looked like me after a particularly heavy night, in which case fair comment.
**In my universe there is nothing too big that it can't be swept under a carpet.


----------



## Sachphotography

It does seem that a photographer in today&#8217;s society is nothing like a photographer 20 years ago. Now.... it seems the best guys are the ones with the most money. 
I shot with an old MF Canon FT. It was great to learn on. I appreciate the time I spent on film and consider going back every day. The sad truth is 90% of photographers or so they claim would not be able to load film if their life depended on it. The instant gratification digi's give create a sense of achievement. I have been shooting for 12 years now and consider myself a good photographer. I cannot afford the Equipment that I truly need at this point but the more I shoot the bigger my portfolio and the better it becomes. If I can get a great shot with the equipment I shoot with now, I can only imagine how much better it will be when I upgrade. So yes, I do think we are inundated with a ton of people who think they are good photog and don't know the difference between f/2 and f/20. 

I was watching this video the other day where this kid claims to have thoroughly tested a d3,d700 and d300. He compares the 3 and tells everybody a load of crap. Whats really funny is that all his videos line up almost word for word with a different site. (the guy that loves his lil d40) My point is, his daddy bought him some nice equipment and pays for him to travel. Does he get good shots. Yes they are not too bad. But is he truly a great photographer..... Not really. All too often, this type person will come onto a forum like this with a cocky I&#8217;m the $#!t attitude and put in his .3 even if it&#8217;s bad. These type people are the ones who corrupt and destroy forums and learning places.

The sad thing is with the rapid advances in technology, we can only sit and watch as the rich people buy there kid a Nikon *D5 and take amazing images.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Sachphotography said:


> ...and don't know the difference between f/2 and f/20.



'0'? :king:


----------



## GFreg

bigtwinky said:


> Most questions on TPF can be answered by googling or checking out back posts.  So I guess its society being lazy and wanting an instant answer?



Exactly!  Most questions that are asked about any topic can be answered using google.  Try this little test go to Google and type "Why is" or "what are" and see what the auto-complete function starts to display.  You will see some of the most ridiculous questions that you have ever seen.  People always want the quick easy answer.  A lot of times that means people will go to a forum and post a topic rather than use the search function or sift through the millions of pages that google will find.  If you post a new topic, people will look at it.  You will most likely get a few answers and the original poster doesn't have to do anything except look at their subscribed threads and see who answered their question.

This is unavoidable.  No matter how much you want a community feel in a public forum, it is never going to happen.  You want to keep out the drive-by posters?  Put a restriction that limits them to not creating topics until they have X amount of moderator approved "quality" posts in other threads.  This unfortunately is very time consuming for the moderators and is practically impossible.  People will also just find a different forum.  So yes, you won't have to deal with it, but someone else will.  Another option would be to make it an exclusive club.  Make the forum an invite only place.  This eliminates the drive-by's, trolls, etc. but it also goes against the whole idea of a forum.  You will be extremely limited to who you have access to talk to in a world that allows nearly limitless access.

I agree that it is nice to have that community feel to a forum.  It is a wonderful place to meet new people and share ideas and advice.  You look forward to visiting everyday and knowing that there are people that share your passions and have their own insight to share.  Though, we need to realize that we are never going to have a Utopia.  The key to being a good forum member is doing your best to help those people seeking advice.  You can only hope that they do the same.  You have no control over their actions.

I am a member of a few other forums and there is always the "remember the old days" thread that pops up from time to time.  Honestly these threads are somewhat hypocritical in the reasoning that they were created to remember a time that was better, with fewer memebers and honest advice.  A "community" feel.  The problem is that these threads do nothing to make new members feel welcome.  It would be similar to having a block party to welcome the new neighbors, but then do nothing but talk about how good the old days were.  I do agree that with such a huge population of members that represent such a diverse mix of skill, experience and maturity, forums sometimes become dilluted with bad information.  That is part of the risk you take visiting a public forum though.  

I mean no disrespect to anyone who has posted in this thread.  I understand that there are people that have been around since the beginning.  I know your frustration as well.  It is hard to see something that you are a part of grow so large.  We all like to reminisce of our fond memories that we can share with a close group of individuals, but you also need to be able to look forward to the future because you never know who you haven't met before.

Sorry for the rant.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

GFreg said:


> bigtwinky said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...you also need to be able to look forward to the future because you never know who you haven't met before.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And then one day you get to an age where everyone starts looking the same
> 
> Some of us miss the old days here for the sole reason that most of the people who now frequent this place are dull, boring and lacking even a rudimentary sense of humour - let alone a sense of the ridiculous.
> Go through the Archives (if they go back 3 or 4 years) and see the sort of thread that this place used to generate.
> And then have a look at the threads that moan into being now.
> Most of the people with fun and sparkle have gone, bored to death by the earnest types who seem to think that life is a serious business and are trying to prove it.
> Or maybe it just seems that way to me because I'm sober.
> Does anyone have a corkscrew?
Click to expand...


----------



## Antarctican

Hertz van Rental said:


> Or maybe it just seems that way to me because I'm sober.
> Does anyone have a corkscrew?


I actually just picked one up the other day. Betcha can't guess what it's shaped like.  


Oh, and here are links to a few of the type of threads to which Hertz referred:  nasal hair, British 'cuisine'


----------



## Battou

Hertz van Rental said:


> Does anyone have a corkscrew?


dude...how many times do I need to remind you....there is one on your pocket knife....


----------



## IgsEMT

> but has the last month or so seen a big increase in the amount of "drive by posters"


I think so. I also think the worse part is when you give input you're met with resistance something to degree that 'this isn't my style' or it isn't how I do it. Personally, when I ask for CC, I'm looking for ways to improve the technique regardless of what style it is.


----------



## bigtwinky

I;ve pretty much given up on CC for the most part.  there are still the odd photo that I do enjoy CCing though


----------



## DennyCrane

Sachphotography said:


> It does seem that a photographer in todays society is nothing like a photographer 20 years ago. Now.... it seems the best guys are the ones with the most money.
> 
> {snip}
> 
> The sad thing is with the rapid advances in technology, we can only sit and watch as the rich people buy there kid a Nikon *D5 and take amazing images.


It's this kind of elitism that's ruining the hobby. The US vs THEM attitude. I couldn't care less how much money another photographer (or their father) has. So what. Class envy hurts everyone. I thought everyone knew that it's not the camera that takes an amazing picture, but the dude who's pressing the shutter release. Who is anyone here to say another photographer didn't work his ass off to scrape up the cash for a high end camera? There's no nobility in being poor and staying there. And so what if someone did buy someone else a nice camera? How exactly does that effect anyone else? That post reeks of middle-class envy and jealousy.


----------



## c.cloudwalker

My wife hates that I answer a lot of question in a "yes and no" kind of way but life is not B&W, it is shades of gray. A lot of points raised so far are valid. At the same time they are useless because some things about human nature cannot be changed in a group situation such as this forum.

For example, the critique problem. Yes, I agree that those coming from noobs who don't know jack about photography can be extremely annoying. Some noob just learned about the rule of third and will remind everyone in sight when they don't apply it with no understanding that rules are meant to be broken. ANNOYING! At the same time, how are they supposed to learn? They have to act like idiots like most of us more experienced people did once upon a time.

No forum is perfect but, to be honest, the ones that think they are better are not necessarily that at all. Go start your own forum and let us know how it works out.

I belong to 2 photo forums where you don't just join. Your work will be reviewed and you will only be let in if its quality satisfies the "board of admissions" or whoever decides. So yes, the quality of the work and the membership is much higher. Does it make those places better? NO. A noob would be so totally lost there that he would find them absolutely horrible. It's a matter of perspective.

But the noobs have to have a place to go too. Yes they ask stupid things and we probably asked the same stupid things at some point so, your question is kind of elitist. If you don't have the patience, and I'll agree that it can be taxing, it is time for you to move on.

Nothing wrong with either way you go but it's your decision and you shouldn't have to ask others about it. This community is what it is. Deal with it or leave it or find a way to deal with it that is livable. At least on a forum this big it is easy enough to avoid the people you really can't stand. Much harder on a place with just a few members.

I just left another forum for the second time because I couldn't deal with it. The first time I was "asked" to come back and I made the mistake of going back. Nothing had changed in a few weeks, obviously, so I'm gone again. Unfortunately, my leaving this time is not as friendly. And that is too bad because my having a problem with that place doesn't really mean it is a bad place. It just doesn't fit me but somebody else may very well find what they want there.

Same thing here. No, it is not perfect, but it is not half as bad as some people want to make it sound. You don't like it, fine. It just is not the place for you.

As for the drive-by posters, I don't get the problem. Just don't click on links from members with barely any posts, that's it. Done.


----------



## c.cloudwalker

DennyCrane said:


> Sachphotography said:
> 
> 
> 
> It does seem that a photographer in todays society is nothing like a photographer 20 years ago. Now.... it seems the best guys are the ones with the most money.
> 
> {snip}
> 
> The sad thing is with the rapid advances in technology, we can only sit and watch as the rich people buy there kid a Nikon *D5 and take amazing images.
> 
> 
> 
> It's this kind of elitism that's ruining the hobby. The US vs THEM attitude. I couldn't care less how much money another photographer (or their father) has. So what. Class envy hurts everyone. I thought everyone knew that it's not the camera that takes an amazing picture, but the dude who's pressing the shutter release. Who is anyone here to say another photographer didn't work his ass off to scrape up the cash for a high end camera? There's no nobility in being poor and staying there. And so what if someone did buy someone else a nice camera? How exactly does that effect anyone else? That post reeks of middle-class envy and jealousy.
Click to expand...


:thumbup: Absolutely 100% agree.

Sach, an idiot with 8x10 digital view camera is not going to take a better photo. If your photography doesn't match your expectations, at least have the balls to put the blame where it belongs: yourself.


----------



## Chiller

Antarctican said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> Or maybe it just seems that way to me because I'm sober.
> Does anyone have a corkscrew?
> 
> 
> 
> I actually just picked one up the other day. Betcha can't guess what it's shaped like.
> 
> 
> Oh, and here are links to a few of the type of threads to which Hertz referred: nasal hair, British 'cuisine'
Click to expand...

   Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:


----------



## jbylake

BigTwinkey,

I like beer.  That ought to be worth something?




Just kidding, I've seen a lot of very sarcastic C&C that looked more hurtful than helpful.  Some of the people here, very few, but some seem to think that they were born with a camera sticking out of thier butts.  If you get my drift.  They seem arrogant, and have no time for "newb's".  I'd just like to have known them when they got their hands on their first real camera.

As for me, well, I don't do a whole lot of C&C, but I like to participate in the other conversations and discussions, many of them very informative, and lot's of new (to me anyway) info.  The reason I don't do a lot of C&C, is that a lot of if not most of this forum is Digital, and I just don't know the answer.  I'll jump in if it's just an image question, such as composition, etc.

I hate to say this, but back to the first paragraph, well, I was just reading in another more film oriented site, about how a few people thought that some people here were self absorbed arrogant a** H****.  Don't know if that's true or not, I'm just repeating what I read.  

I contribute a little money though.  I think rather than just "taking" from the site, that's a good way to give a little back, if you don't have the expertise to offer advice.  Such as, I don't know diddly about wedding shoots, reviewing digital camera features, advanced photoshop techniques, etc.  See where I'm going with this?.

Anyway, overall, I think 99% of the people here, try to bend over backwards to anyone with a legitimate question, or problem.  It's one of the better forums of any type of subject matter, as far as people go, that I visit, with any kind of regularity.

Now if you REALLY want A**H***'s, you ought to visit some of the biker forums I frequent...

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## kundalini

Chiller said:


> Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:


 I'll have a thigh...... oh wait, maybe a bre.............. nah, on second thought, I prefer the thigh...... and I know you know what I mean....:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:    :lmao:

Oh yeah, I like it cooked slightly RAW like sushi.


----------



## jbylake

Chiller said:


> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> Or maybe it just seems that way to me because I'm sober.
> Does anyone have a corkscrew?
> 
> 
> 
> I actually just picked one up the other day. Betcha can't guess what it's shaped like.
> 
> 
> Oh, and here are links to a few of the type of threads to which Hertz referred: nasal hair, British 'cuisine'
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:
Click to expand...

 
You're full of crap chiller, Santa ain't dead!, I just saw him at Wal-Mart, not more than 2 hours ago.  See, that's what's wrong with this site. Lies, and Damned Lies!

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## jbylake

> I've seen threads like this as well. One was bumped for no apparent reason than the person saying "me too".
> 
> Another was bumped with some actually added value, then someone who I consider more of a troll told them off, which was not right.
> 
> Both of those were requests for CC, one was about HDR I believe.
> 
> What I'm referring to in searching older threads are things like
> - which tripod should I buy
> - which telephoto lens is the best
> - how do I HDR
> - any recommendations on sites to sell my photos on
> - sites to sell prints from
> - bags to buy
> ...


BT, this was adressed in a earlier post to this thread, but I think a lot of people new to forums don't actually know how to use the search feature, or that it even exists.  I know that several years ago, I was in that same boat.  I just pray to the lens god's that no one brings up another "which is better, Canon or Nikon" thread, new to the site or new to forums, they need to be shot, neutered or spayed!

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## Sachphotography

c.cloudwalker said:


> DennyCrane said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sachphotography said:
> 
> 
> 
> It does seem that a photographer in today&#8217;s society is nothing like a photographer 20 years ago. Now.... it seems the best guys are the ones with the most money.
> 
> {snip}
> 
> The sad thing is with the rapid advances in technology, we can only sit and watch as the rich people buy there kid a Nikon *D5 and take amazing images.
> 
> 
> 
> It's this kind of elitism that's ruining the hobby. The US vs THEM attitude. I couldn't care less how much money another photographer (or their father) has. So what. Class envy hurts everyone. I thought everyone knew that it's not the camera that takes an amazing picture, but the dude who's pressing the shutter release. Who is anyone here to say another photographer didn't work his ass off to scrape up the cash for a high end camera? There's no nobility in being poor and staying there. And so what if someone did buy someone else a nice camera? How exactly does that effect anyone else? That post reeks of middle-class envy and jealousy.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> :thumbup: Absolutely 100% agree.
> 
> Sach, an idiot with 8x10 digital view camera is not going to take a better photo. If your photography doesn't match your expectations, at least have the balls to put the blame where it belongs: yourself.
Click to expand...



Wow... so hars!!! LOL.. I understand your point but you missed what I was saying. Any issue I have with my shots is my own fault and I know that. What I am trying to say is that people who fit that class are rude snobish and have an attitude that is crap. I am not selfish nor am I jealous. I completely see where you would feel this way towards me and I respect your opinon. It appears what I was trying to say came out wrong....  I hate when this happens. lol sorry. Im just saying ignorant snobish people ruin forums is all.


----------



## T-town photographer

Edit: didnt fit the conversation


----------



## c.cloudwalker

Sachphotography said:


> Sach, an idiot with 8x10 digital view camera is not going to take a better photo. If your photography doesn't match your expectations, at least have the balls to put the blame where it belongs: yourself.




Wow... so hars!!! LOL.. I understand your point but you missed what I was saying. Any issue I have with my shots is my own fault and I know that. What I am trying to say is that people who fit that class are rude snobish and have an attitude that is crap. I am not selfish nor am I jealous. I completely see where you would feel this way towards me and I respect your opinon. It appears what I was trying to say came out wrong....  I hate when this happens. lol sorry. Im just saying ignorant snobish people ruin forums is all.[/QUOTE]

My apologies if I misunderstood you.

Keep in mind though that we all are ignorant in some ways and we are all snobbish in some ways too. And I have seen no difference in that whether on the internet or in real life. In my understanding of life, these people ruin way more than forums. But only if you let them.


----------



## Antarctican

Chiller said:


> Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:


  Uh oh! That sounds a little too much like Hannibal Lecter 'having an old friend for dinner!'  You're not serving it with fava beans and a nice chianti, are you?



kundalini said:


> I'll have a thigh...... oh wait, maybe a bre.............. nah, on second thought, I prefer the thigh...... and I know you know what I mean....:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:    :lmao:
> 
> Oh yeah, I like it cooked slightly RAW like sushi.


 You're just trying to bait me. But I shall rise above it.


----------



## kundalini

Antarctican said:


> You're just trying to bait me. But I shall rise above it.


 I'll bite......







 
​It truely was the worst I could find of a great song.  



Oh wait a minute...... rise...... engage brain........

Fail at the moment, still working on it......................​


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Is it me or are there two separate threads going on in here? The interesting, intellectual one and the one bitching about the lack of community and the number of DVP's?


----------



## Chiller

kundalini said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:
> 
> 
> 
> I'll have a thigh...... oh wait, maybe a bre.............. nah, on second thought, I prefer the thigh...... and I know you know what I mean....:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen: :lmao:
> 
> Oh yeah, I like it cooked slightly RAW like sushi.
Click to expand...

 
_Breasts are good man. I like breasts, hell, even tried to grow a pair of my own_.  _They are good eats._ 



jbylake said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> I actually just picked one up the other day. Betcha can't guess what it's shaped like.
> 
> 
> Oh, and here are links to a few of the type of threads to which Hertz referred: nasal hair, British 'cuisine'
> 
> 
> 
> Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> You're full of crap chiller, Santa ain't dead!, I just saw him at Wal-Mart, not more than 2 hours ago. See, that's what's wrong with this site. Lies, and Damned Lies!
> 
> J.:mrgreen:
Click to expand...

_Hah...he has been cold and hanging in my crawlspace for a while now. Takes 2 hooks to hold up the fat p. That one you saw was an imposter...somebodies drunk uncle or something._ :lmao:



Antarctican said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Im BBqing a penguin....wanna come over for dinner. :mrgreen:
> 
> 
> 
> Uh oh! *That sounds a little too much like Hannibal Lecter 'having an old friend for dinner!' You're not serving it with fava beans and a nice chianti, are you?*
> 
> .
Click to expand...

 
_I dont know who Chianti is, but if she is blond, and has nice....never mind. There are lot of kids on this forum_.


----------



## Chiller

Hertz van Rental said:


> Is it me or are there two separate threads going on in here? The interesting, intellectual one and the one bitching about the lack of community and the number of DVP's?


  Maybe a mod can split them into two threads.   oh wait...there are no mods here. :lmao:  Put on the coffee bro, Im up way past my bed time, and have to get up in 3 hours to shoot a horror movie set...go figure.


----------



## Sachphotography

c.cloudwalker said:


> Sachphotography said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sach, an idiot with 8x10 digital view camera is not going to take a better photo. If your photography doesn't match your expectations, at least have the balls to put the blame where it belongs: yourself.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wow... so hars!!! LOL.. I understand your point but you missed what I was saying. Any issue I have with my shots is my own fault and I know that. What I am trying to say is that people who fit that class are rude snobish and have an attitude that is crap. I am not selfish nor am I jealous. I completely see where you would feel this way towards me and I respect your opinon. It appears what I was trying to say came out wrong.... I hate when this happens. lol sorry. Im just saying ignorant snobish people ruin forums is all.
Click to expand...

 
My apologies if I misunderstood you.

Keep in mind though that we all are ignorant in some ways and we are all snobbish in some ways too. And I have seen no difference in that whether on the internet or in real life. In my understanding of life, these people ruin way more than forums. But only if you let them. [/QUOTE]

Your fine.  your comment is way to true.......so sad but tis true....


----------



## Battou

Hertz van Rental said:


> Is it me or are there two separate threads going on in here? The interesting, intellectual one and the one bitching about the lack of community and the number of DVP's?



I blame Mrs. Doubtfire.



Oh wait....that was drive by fruitings.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Battou said:


> ...drive by fruitings.



I used to drive by NavSat myself. Fewer flies.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Chiller said:


> Breasts are good man. I like breasts, hell, *even tried to grow a pair of my own*



In a jar by your bed?



Chiller said:


> Put on the coffee bro



Coffee's on. Come and get it when you are ready.


----------



## jbylake

Hey, didn't someone say BBQ?......Whats up with that?  No invite, you must be one of them "snobbish" guy's they were talking about.  And I was all set to try some nice BBQ Penguin.  Never had it. Do they taste like chiken?

J


----------



## Chiller

Anybody is welcome to my BBqs.  I will cook anything, and prefer to start while they are still alive. 
  BBq penquin taste like Turkey.   Also if you get a chance, try the penquin soup.   oh crap....PETA is at the door....brb(that is "be right back" in Nintendo Generation talk):lmao::lmao:


----------



## Antarctican

That isn't PETA banging at your door!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





And penguins are feisty creatures, so don't be messin' with 'em. 
[FONT=&quot]
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




[/FONT]


----------



## Chiller

Antarctican said:


> That isn't PETA banging at your door!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And penguins are feisty creatures, so don't be messin' with 'em.
> [FONT=&quot]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [/FONT]


They cook fast on the grill too.


----------



## jbylake

Chiller said:


> Anybody is welcome to my BBqs. I will cook anything, and prefer to start while they are still alive.
> BBq penquin taste like Turkey. Also if you get a chance, try the penquin soup. oh crap....PETA is at the door....brb(that is "be right back" in Nintendo Generation talk):lmao::lmao:


 
:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
J.  P.S. if there's any left you think you could make jerky out of them, and send me some?  You can just fax me the jerky....and how about guttin' those bad boy's, is it hard?  Taste like turkey, would that be white meat or dark?  Would you share your recipe?  Where do you hunt those jokers, 'cause I happen to know that they have quite a few at the nearby zoo....Maybe I could cap a few there....


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I think you'll find that jerking a penguin will get you locked up in most countries.


----------



## Antarctican

^^^ Death penalty in the rest.


----------



## Pugs

Sheesh, Anty!

There's no end to the abuse you take 'round here is there?! 

You know... ever since seeing "March of the Penguins", I hear Morgan Freeman's voice in my head everytime I read one of your posts...

Oh... wait... is that me heaping more abuse on our poor penguin lover?


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> I think you'll find that jerking a penguin will get you locked up in most countries.


 
I don't know, I may jerk a few (penguins) before I take my med's or after...I forgot. Anyway, first big spring ride is to Daytona Bike Week, if I get to go, maybe I can sell some at one of the booths? Might be a money maker. Have to get Chiller to fire up the grill..thank you for your support and understanding Hertz and Antartica. P.S. I ain't riding all the way down to the Antartic, just have to do the zoo thing.

J.


----------



## manaheim

mmmmm... penguin. -slurp-

Chiller, pass the BBQ sauce, will ya?


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Penguin tastes of fish.


----------



## Antarctican

(Insert pun of your choice re it smells like chicken....)


----------



## jbylake

Antarctican said:


> (Insert pun of your choice re it smells like chicken....)


Don't know what it smells like, haven't eaten one yet, chiller say's it tastes like turkey.

Not going to ride my bike down to the Antartic, too far, too cold, and the road's are slick all year.  Not exactly great riding conditions for a Harley.

Just thought I'd go to the zoo and cap a few, as previously mentioned.

I'd guess, due to the cold, they have a pretty dense fat layer, sort of like duck.  Don't like duck, but think if I can skin that fat layer, might be pretty good eating.

If I can cap some at the zoo, I'll be more than happy to send you some smoked, grilled or jerked Penguin.


Your faithful penguin fan,

J.


----------



## T-town photographer

We might be able to cook them like I do geese.  Take the breast out , cut into fillets.  Tenderize the hell out of them.  bread them up like chicken friend steak and serve with mashed potatos and green beans with white gravy.

Now I am getting hungry.

Michael


----------



## Hertz van Rental

T-town photographer said:


> We might be able to cook them like I do geese.



Nah! Spit-roast them and give them a good stuffing  :lmao:


----------



## Antarctican




----------



## T-town photographer

I was just worried about all of the fat on them.  Then again that would make them better to fry up.

Michael


----------



## T-town photographer

Remove all fat, inside and out.  Soak overnight in Salt water

Blanch for 45 minutes add
2 talespoons baking soda and continue to cook uncovered for 5 minutes

Drain and wash in warm water.  Put in cold water and bring to boil.

Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Stuff penguin with sweet potato and apple dressing

Bake covered for about 45 minutes

Uncover and bake 15 minutes longer before serving.

Best served with a red wine

Enjoy

Michael


----------



## jbylake

T-town photographer said:


> Remove all fat, inside and out. Soak overnight in Salt water
> 
> Blanch for 45 minutes add
> 2 talespoons baking soda and continue to cook uncovered for 5 minutes
> 
> Drain and wash in warm water. Put in cold water and bring to boil.
> 
> Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes
> 
> Preheat oven to 350 degrees
> 
> Stuff penguin with sweet potato and apple dressing
> 
> Bake covered for about 45 minutes
> 
> Uncover and bake 15 minutes longer before serving.
> 
> Best served with a red wine
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> Michael


 Michael, what about the heart and liver?  Giblet Gravy?

J.


----------



## T-town photographer

jbylake said:


> T-town photographer said:
> 
> 
> 
> Remove all fat, inside and out. Soak overnight in Salt water
> 
> Blanch for 45 minutes add
> 2 talespoons baking soda and continue to cook uncovered for 5 minutes
> 
> Drain and wash in warm water. Put in cold water and bring to boil.
> 
> Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes
> 
> Preheat oven to 350 degrees
> 
> Stuff penguin with sweet potato and apple dressing
> 
> Bake covered for about 45 minutes
> 
> Uncover and bake 15 minutes longer before serving.
> 
> Best served with a red wine
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> Michael
> 
> 
> 
> Michael, what about the heart and liver? Giblet Gravy?
> 
> J.
Click to expand...

 
:lmao::thumbup::thumbup:

Michael


----------



## PhotoXopher

Where?

Right here:
The Photo Forum - Active Topics


----------



## Chiller

jbylake said:


> Michael, what about the heart and liver? Giblet Gravy?
> 
> J.


 
Hang em in your crawlspace.   They dry nicely, and make great holiday tree ornaments(sorry cant say the C word...it is not p******* correct....oh crap...cant say that P word either) :lmao:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Everyone seems to have forgotten that with a stick and some easily available household chemicals penguins can be turned into novel bottle rockets for the Christmas festivities.
You will believe that a penguin can fly!


And if your aim is good you can even down Santa.


----------



## manaheim

Penguin -> blender + BBQ sauce -> glass -> straw ->


----------



## Chiller

See?  The community is full of spirit.    Seasons Grievings y'all.


----------



## T-town photographer




----------



## Antarctican

Watch out, the penguins are revolting.....


(Wait, that didn't come out right)


----------



## T-town photographer

Antarctican said:


> Watch out, the penguins are revolting.....
> 
> 
> (Wait, that didn't come out right)


 


Needs more pepper

Michael


----------



## kundalini

*I Rub My Penguin*

Only $29.95
(on backorder)


----------



## Chiller

kundalini said:


> *I Rub My Penguin*
> 
> Only $29.95
> (on backorder)


 Dude...I just spit out a gnoid.


----------



## T-town photographer

I'm just trying to figure out why he would pay 29.95 rub his own penquin .... and why it is on backorder.

Does he let others rub his penquin and that is why it is on back order?????

Michael


----------



## Hertz van Rental

:shock: Depth and girth? I'm beginning to suspect it might not be an electric pepper mill.


----------



## Antarctican

kundalini said:


> *I Rub My Penguin*
> Only $29.95(on backorder)










Hertz van Rental said:


> :shock: Depth and girth? I'm beginning to suspect it might not be an electric pepper mill.


----------



## kundalini

Antarctican said:


>


----------



## jbylake

Antarctican said:


> kundalini said:
> 
> 
> 
> *I Rub My Penguin*
> Only $29.95(on backorder)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> :shock: Depth and girth? I'm beginning to suspect it might not be an electric pepper mill.
> 
> Click to expand...
Click to expand...

A PENI-GUIN...Ferget it, I ain't eating one of those! Especially a *jerked* one, or any other form

j:x


----------



## T-town photographer

jbylake said:


> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kundalini said:
> 
> 
> 
> *I Rub My Penguin*
> Only $29.95(on backorder)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> :shock: Depth and girth? I'm beginning to suspect it might not be an electric pepper mill.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> A PENI-GUIN...Ferget it, I ain't eating one of those! Especially a *jerked* one, or any other form
> 
> j:x
Click to expand...

 
Needs bacon  everything taste better with bacon

Michael


----------



## taskoni

kundalini said:


> *I Rub My Penguin*
> 
> Only $29.95
> (on backorder)



Now, that's what I call digital


----------



## jbylake

T-town photographer said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A PENI-GUIN...Ferget it, I ain't eating one of those! Especially a *jerked* one, or any other form
> 
> j:x
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Needs bacon everything taste better with bacon
> 
> Michael
Click to expand...

 
I don't care what it needs, I'm not eating any PENI-QUIN, don't know where it's been, and just ain't into that kind of thing, if you know what I meanuke:

J.


----------



## T-town photographer

LOL  I didnt read the link until tonight and I have a tendency to agree.

Michael

So what to we go after next  uhhhhhh








artic seals???


----------



## T-town photographer

No I have it.





























Virgin penquins

Michael


----------



## jbylake

T-town photographer said:


> LOL I didnt read the link until tonight and I have a tendency to agree.
> 
> Michael
> 
> So what to we go after next uhhhhhh
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> artic seals???


 
Only the babies.  I love the smell of the fresh baby seal blood, while clubbing those little jokers, and the tender young meat grilling on the barby, smells like victory!!!!

O.K., let's get clubbing and grilling.  And compiling our new baby seal cook book.  
Post yer favorite recipe.  Photo's are a definite plus!!

J.

J.


----------



## helloyo53

Reading through this whole thread (other than the penguin part :lmao, I really think the people who "miss the old days" are partly to blame.  If I were a guest on here, and I read this thread, I don't think I would want to join it at all.  If I were reading about people missing the old days when not many people were around, I would click the back button on my browser right away.

I find it quite sad how some of your are complaining.  I mean, I wasn't here since day one, and I'm pretty sure it's been around since the year 2000 yes?  People, it's an online forum.  You have a forum that's been around for 9 years, it's going to change!  You have to accept that.  You can't expect to go to a forum because it's so nice and think that it is going to stay that way.  No, people use search engines.  I simply Googled "Photography Forums", and lo and behold, TPF showed up one of the first ones.  I joined it. 

What's my point?  Forums are so easy to find, and if it's online, people are going to join it!  If you think that a forum will never change, than you are wrong wrong wrong.

So people saying they miss the old days just makes the newer members not like the forum.  It basically divides the forum, the older people on here stick together and post on each other's threads and they don't post on the newer members' threads.  That's the problem with this forum.

That's my two cents worth.


----------



## T-town photographer

helloyo53 said:


> Reading through this whole thread (other than the penguin part :lmao, I really think the people who "miss the old days" are partly to blame. If I were a guest on here, and I read this thread, I don't think I would want to join it at all. If I were reading about people missing the old days when not many people were around, I would click the back button on my browser right away.
> 
> I find it quite sad how some of your are complaining. I mean, I wasn't here since day one, and I'm pretty sure it's been around since the year 2000 yes? People, it's an online forum. You have a forum that's been around for 9 years, it's going to change! You have to accept that. You can't expect to go to a forum because it's so nice and think that it is going to stay that way. No, people use search engines. I simply Googled "Photography Forums", and lo and behold, TPF showed up one of the first ones. I joined it.
> 
> What's my point? Forums are so easy to find, and if it's online, people are going to join it! If you think that a forum will never change, than you are wrong wrong wrong.
> 
> So people saying they miss the old days just makes the newer members not like the forum. It basically divides the forum, the older people on here stick together and post on each other's threads and they don't post on the newer members' threads. That's the problem with this forum.
> 
> That's my two cents worth.


 

Not to disagree with you but I have only been here a couple of months.  I see the point of your post but I also feel that a lot of people on here do not CC like others would like.

I wish I could of gotten more comments on some of my work but it did not happen.

That and the penguin thing was fun. LOL

Michael


----------



## helloyo53

T-town photographer said:


> Not to disagree with you but I have only been here a couple of months.  I see the point of your post but I also feel that a lot of people on here do not CC like others would like.
> 
> I wish I could of gotten more comments on some of my work but it did not happen.
> 
> That and the penguin thing was fun. LOL
> 
> Michael



Yeah, I agree.  And I admit, I haven't posted as much CC as maybe I should be, but I will definitely be posting some more.  I too wish I could have gotten some more comments on some of my work, and I know how those other people feel.  I'll definitely try to post some more CC, well, to the best of my ability anyway.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

And now, back to the penguin thing (it's more fun).


----------



## T-town photographer

Lets try a hundred uses for penguin other than meat.

#1:  Fuel oil from the fat

Michael


----------



## Chiller

helloyo53 said:


> Reading through this whole thread (other than the penguin part :lmao, *I really think the people who "miss the old days" are partly to blame*. If I were a guest on here, and I read this thread, I don't think I would want to join it at all. If I were reading about people missing the old days when not many people were around, I would click the back button on my browser right away.
> 
> I find it quite sad how some of your are complaining. I mean, I wasn't here since day one, and I'm pretty sure it's been around since the year 2000 yes? People, it's an online forum. You have a forum that's been around for 9 years, it's going to change! You have to accept that. You can't expect to go to a forum because it's so nice and think that it is going to stay that way. No, people use search engines. I simply Googled "Photography Forums", and lo and behold, TPF showed up one of the first ones. I joined it.
> 
> What's my point? Forums are so easy to find, and if it's online, people are going to join it! If you think that a forum will never change, than you are wrong wrong wrong.
> 
> So people saying they miss the old days just makes the newer members not like the forum. It basically divides the forum, the older people on here stick together and post on each other's threads and they don't post on the newer members' threads. That's the problem with this forum.
> 
> That's my two cents worth.


 
I know ya newbies dont like us oldies, but some of us are still here to terrorize your arses.:mrgreen::mrgreen: Im on 6 different photo forums, 2 halloween forums, 1 goth forum, 2 horror forums and one knitting, but this forum is the only one that has any.....
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 Yeah, the old times were grand, but they are also something we can not have back. Maybe we all have to get to know each other...and you will find we are not as cranky as ya'all think, except for one person. :mrgreen: 
BTW...if you take me serious, I have some swamp land available for sale in the Artic, that has a guard penguin.... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	






Hertz van Rental said:


> And now, back to the penguin thing (it's more fun).


Dang newbies eh? 
*Q: How do Penguins drink their cola?* 
*[SIZE=+2]A: On the rocks.[/SIZE]*


----------



## Overread

Chiller said:


> Im on 6 different photo forums, 2 halloween forums, 1 goth forum, 2 horror forums and *one knitting,*



I'm really really scared now!!!!!!!!!!

I have images of needles - Chiller - and -- - well..... yah scary!


----------



## T-town photographer

Overread said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Im on 6 different photo forums, 2 halloween forums, 1 goth forum, 2 horror forums and *one knitting,*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm really really scared now!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I have images of needles - Chiller - and -- - well..... yah scary!
Click to expand...

 
Makes on kind of wonder does it not??  

LOL

Michael


----------



## Chiller

T-town photographer said:


> Overread said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Im on 6 different photo forums, 2 halloween forums, 1 goth forum, 2 horror forums and *one knitting,*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm really really scared now!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I have images of needles - Chiller - and -- - well..... yah scary!
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Makes on kind of wonder does it not??
> 
> LOL
> 
> Michael
Click to expand...

 There is ab - so - lutely nothing wrong with stitching up the lips of somebody who talks to much.


----------



## jbylake

T-town photographer said:


> Lets try a hundred uses for penguin other than meat.
> 
> #1: Fuel oil from the fat
> 
> Michael


Just how many penguins does it take to get a quart of oil?  Might be a seller at the bike shop.

I've never been able to find out how many babies it takes to get a 12 oz. bottle of baby oil either, if anyone knows that, please clue me in.

Thank you for your concern.

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

One 8lb baby should yield 2 fl.oz. of oil (you have to use a food processor and distill the resultant slurry - if you use a press to extract you get a lot of other fluids as well as the oil and distilling this mixture always gives a lower yield).
Fat babies are to be preferred, naturally.
So to answer your question - approximately 6 babies.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> One 8lb baby should yield 2 fl.oz. of oil (you have to use a food processor and distill the resultant slurry - if you use a press to extract you get a lot of other fluids as well as the oil and distilling this mixture always gives a lower yield).
> Fat babies are to be preferred, naturally.
> So to answer your question - approximately 6 babies.


 
Cool, I'm about 2 dead babies short.  Got 'em in the deep freeze.  I'll score a couple more. 

  Still have to get to the zoo and cap a few penguins.  Don't know how much oil they will render.  Will try to get a viscosity of about 40 to 60W for engines, 90 for Tranny's.

Any advice on how to do this would be greatly appreciated.  Any experiences with penguin oil in Harley's would be cool too....

J.:thumbup:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> penguin oil in Harley's



Not advisable. You'd smell like a mobile chip shop.


----------



## Antarctican

Do you mean, like, a cod piece?


----------



## Overread

Chiller said:


> T-town photographer said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Overread said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm really really scared now!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I have images of needles - Chiller - and -- - well..... yah scary!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Makes on kind of wonder does it not??
> 
> LOL
> 
> Michael
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> There is ab - so - lutely nothing wrong with stitching up the lips of somebody who talks to much.
Click to expand...


As one of those people sometimes.... labled as a talkative talker I would like to argue that there is a problem with this approach!


----------



## Antarctican

:taped sh:


----------



## usayit

Soap..


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Bit of a slippery customer there...


----------



## jbylake

T-town photographer said:


> Lets try a hundred uses for penguin other than meat.
> 
> #1: Fuel oil from the fat
> 
> Michael


 
Well, I'm still trying to formulate something that would be both a renewable resource, and a "green" product. Unfortunately my background is in BSME, not a chemist. I think a quart of Harley oil, made from penguin's, would be a huge seller among the Harley crowd, and it would be bio-degradable. Heck, you could just pull over in anyone's yard, drain your oil, toss the filter on their roof (not bio-degradable), so might want to hide it there, until we can build a filter out of the left over components of the penguin. (I'm thinking the hide with the skeletal remains still intact, could be devised into a filter, but I still have to work that one out).

But, I don't think we have to totally discard the food aspect. Has anyone considered the wings? Might not have much meat on them, but Buffalo Penguin wings would go great with a nice cold beer, don't you think? "Bartender, give me a Sam Adams Lager and two dozen extra hot penquin wings". 

So, we've humanely and responsibly solved the whole penguin delimma. Meat, soap's, renewable replacement oil(s), oil filters, and great snacks for marathon beer drinking sessions. I'll buy the first round, let's all meet for a few cold ones.

J.


----------



## Chiller

jbylake said:


> . I'll buy the first round, let's all meet for a few cold ones.
> 
> J.


 :cheers:


----------



## T-town photographer

I am always up for someone buying the first round

Michael


----------



## jbylake

T-town photographer said:


> I am always up for someone buying the first round
> 
> Michael


 
So...who's buying the wings?

J.:er:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I think you mean flippers.
Penguins can't fly without help.


----------



## Antarctican

Several posters appear to be due a good flippering.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> I think you mean flippers.
> Penguins can't fly without help.


 
O.K., I stand corrected.  Buffalo Flippers sound more apetizing to me, anyway.  Probably have more meat on them also.  Good catch HVR.:thumbup:

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## jbylake

Antarctican said:


> Several posters appear to be due a good flippering.


 
And who's going to be doing the flipper flogging?

First of all, penguins are evil. How do I know this, the voices in my head have been telling me this. Eating the evil flesh, and burning their oil, in a Harley Davidson, will appease the ice god's, and squash their little evil plans to take over other ice laden regions of the world, on track with their plans to form a one world government, in which all creatures will be enslaved to their evil plans of domination.

Secondly, through their own ignorance, they will soon die off, if we don't find secondary purposes for them, such as food supplements and a renewable source of energy (bio-degradable at that). This is because they live on the bottom of the earth and all of their blood will soon seep to their heads, causing them to become disoriented, and fall off.

Wouldn't it be much better to consume them in a responsible manner, such as grilled penguin steaks, to compliment a nice warm bowl of soylent green?

I don't think you are being rational at all, ant...you're thinking is being controlled (yes, penguins are quite capable of mind control), with a penguins vision of society, which is obscuring your own clarity of thought.

There are devices, available for a nominal fee, which you can fit to your head, that will block out penguin thought control waves, but you can just as easily build one yourself, using only aluminum foil, and coat hangers. I'm wearing mine, just this minute, therefore the unclouded clarity of rational reasoning.

There are also "clinic's" designed for the deprogramming of those obsessed with penguin induced mind control.

Careful, and be grateful that I have forwarned you of the terror that these vile, evil, maniacal creatures have in store for you. And remember, that the duckbill platypus is on your side. 

Just trying to save one more person,
Respectfully,

J.


----------



## Antarctican

<----jbylake wearing his hat


----------



## Pugs

Antarctican said:


> <----jbylake wearing his hat


Uh, Anty...


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I think she'll tell you in very graphic detail.


----------



## usayit

Hertz van Rental said:


> Penguins can't fly without help.



Yup.. a bat does help.

Batter up!


----------



## T-town photographer

jbylake said:


> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> Several posters appear to be due a good flippering.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And who's going to be doing the flipper flogging?
> 
> First of all, penguins are evil. How do I know this, the voices in my head have been telling me this. Eating the evil flesh, and burning their oil, in a Harley Davidson, will appease the ice god's, and squash their little evil plans to take over other ice laden regions of the world, on track with their plans to form a one world government, in which all creatures will be enslaved to their evil plans of domination.
> 
> Secondly, through their own ignorance, they will soon die off, if we don't find secondary purposes for them, such as food supplements and a renewable source of energy (bio-degradable at that). This is because they live on the bottom of the earth and all of their blood will soon seep to their heads, causing them to become disoriented, and fall off.
> 
> Wouldn't it be much better to consume them in a responsible manner, such as grilled penguin steaks, to compliment a nice warm bowl of soylent green?
> 
> I don't think you are being rational at all, ant...you're thinking is being controlled (yes, penguins are quite capable of mind control), with a penguins vision of society, which is obscuring your own clarity of thought.
> 
> There are devices, available for a nominal fee, which you can fit to your head, that will block out penguin thought control waves, but you can just as easily build one yourself, using only aluminum foil, and coat hangers. I'm wearing mine, just this minute, therefore the unclouded clarity of rational reasoning.
> 
> There are also "clinic's" designed for the deprogramming of those obsessed with penguin induced mind control.
> 
> Careful, and be grateful that I have forwarned you of the terror that these vile, evil, maniacal creatures have in store for you. And remember, that the duckbill platypus is on your side.
> 
> Just trying to save one more person,
> Respectfully,
> 
> J.
Click to expand...

 
+1

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Michael


----------



## usayit

Bloody Penguin Baseball

Penguin Baseball Game - How far can you hit the penguin in this game.


----------



## T-town photographer

peekay said:


> ^^ I wish I could unread what I just read...


 

Just jump in and hang on.

Michael


----------



## usayit

You have to admit... It took some creativity to write that post...  lol


----------



## T-town photographer

usayit said:


> You have to admit... It took some creativity to write that post... lol


 
Very much so.

Michael


----------



## Chiller

Thanks for the Christmas Evil laugh y'all.   holy moly....this thread is officially out of control.   Rock the freek on....:lmao:


----------



## jbylake

Chiller said:


> Thanks for the Christmas Evil laugh y'all. holy moly....this thread is officially out of control. Rock the freek on....:lmao:


I have a question: How off-topic can a post in the "off-topic thread", be off-topic, before it's considered off-topic in the off topic thread, or is this question in the off-topic thread, off-topic?.......ahhhhhh, as he exhales smoke....
BTW, I once heard that grinding the beaks and feet of a penguin, and smoked in a pipe will get you high?  Anyone ever smoked penguin beaks?  Is it a big high, or just a buzz, or myth.  Are those outdoor penguins, or hydroponically grown penguins?  Buzz and munchies in one package?

WARNING: Smoking penguins may be illegal in some states and countries, but I believe you can smoke them legally in Amsterdam.  Maybe we can raise some cash, meet in Amsterdam, drink some beer, and smoke a couple of bowls of penguin....

J.


----------



## kundalini

usayit said:


> Bloody Penguin Baseball


 It's been a while since I've played that game, but 958.9 on the third go and 1011.1 as a best tonight.  Even so, there's something fascinating about the 27-29 (FT/M(?)) distance.  They smash to pieces immediately.   buwahahahahaha


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> I have a question: How off-topic can a post in the "off-topic thread", be off-topic, before it's considered off-topic in the off topic thread, or is this question in the off-topic thread, off-topic?.......ahhhhhh, as he exhales smoke....



To be off-topic a thread has to be so far off-topic that it is clearly off-topic. But this does not include normal off-topic threads as they are only off-topic and not as off-topic as the threads that are considered to be off-topic.
This thread itself is off-topic as it has gone off-topic. But even if it was on topic it would still be off-topic because it is off-topic.

(Uses fire extinguisher on quoted poster who has clearly overheated)


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> BTW, I once heard that grinding the beaks and feet of a penguin, and smoked in a pipe will get you high?  Anyone ever smoked penguin beaks?  Is it a big high, or just a buzz, or myth.



Smoking penguins is a bit hit and myth.
You get a 'high' but it is in fact your brain-cells dying. Penguin smoke is highly toxic because penguins are toxic.
So toxic, in fact, that even just talking about them turns people into vegetables.
I myself am a potato.


Some tribesmen in remote parts of East London soak dead penguins in aftershave for several weeks claiming this leaches out the toxins - and removes the smell. They then smoke the penguins in large ovens to produce something not unlike a kipper (in looks but certainly not in taste).
I'll post some Lynx later.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> I have a question: How off-topic can a post in the "off-topic thread", be off-topic, before it's considered off-topic in the off topic thread, or is this question in the off-topic thread, off-topic?.......ahhhhhh, as he exhales smoke....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> To be off-topic a thread has to be so far off-topic that it is clearly off-topic. But this does not include normal off-topic threads as they are only off-topic and not as off-topic as the threads that are considered to be off-topic.
> This thread itself is off-topic as it has gone off-topic. But even if it was on topic it would still be off-topic because it is off-topic.
> 
> (Uses fire extinguisher on quoted poster who has clearly overheated)
Click to expand...

 
Dear Sir: I must take umbrage to your post in the off-topic section.
I feel that it was totally off-topic, insinuating my off-topic post in the off-topic thread was.....off-topic. Please stay on topic, when pointing out an off-topic post in the off-topic thread.

Thank you for your continued support, and that old mop that you keep in the basement.

J.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> BTW, I once heard that grinding the beaks and feet of a penguin, and smoked in a pipe will get you high? Anyone ever smoked penguin beaks? Is it a big high, or just a buzz, or myth.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Smoking penguins is a bit hit and myth.
> You get a 'high' but it is in fact your brain-cells dying. Penguin smoke is highly toxic because penguins are toxic.
> So toxic, in fact, that even just talking about them turns people into vegetables.
> I myself am a potato.
> 
> 
> Some tribesmen in remote parts of East London soak dead penguins in aftershave for several weeks claiming this leaches out the toxins - and removes the smell. They then smoke the penguins in large ovens to produce something not unlike a kipper (in looks but certainly not in taste).
> I'll post some Lynx later.
Click to expand...

 
Yes..yes, I've heard of this ritual, however the way *I heard it*, was that it was West London tribesmen, *posing* as remote East London tribesman, and that the pengi (plural for penguin) were soaked in basalmic vinegar, not after shave. Then the kipper appearing strips were smoked, to produce hallucinagenic religious experiences in their rituals.

However, in the version that I heard, the kipper appearance analogy was the same.

The reason I brought this up at all, is, as you know, medical marijuana is now being dispensed in some places in the U.S., and that although still against federal law, state laws are allowing it, and local law enforcement is not interfering.

Glaucoma patients, people who suffer from chronic pain from a myriad of ailments, and folks with in-grown toenails and occasional toe jam, are mercifully supplied. I was considering penguin, as an alternative, so that after grinding and smoking the beaks and feet, there would be an abundance of jerked penguin to abate the inevitable munchies.

Therefore my interest in funding a penguin/alternative clinic. Now we have another legitimate use for penguin, and an honorable one at that. Food, renewable lubricants, and an anesthetic like high, for medical purposes.

Now, I must go, It's Christmas, and I'm going to have one heck of a time trying to find a doctor, to vouch that I have glaucoma, to obtain my penguin smoking permit.

Please nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize, humanitarian category. I could use the million dollars.

Thank you for your valuable time,

J.
c


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Just because you 'feel' something is off-topic does not, I'm afraid, make it off-topic.
And I don't insinuate anything. I merely explained the difference between off-topic and off-topic off-topic. Once you have managed to grasp the principal then you will know whether something is actually off-topic or if it is merely off-topic without having to ask an adult 
Apology accepted but don't do it again.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> The reason I brought this up ...



Serves you right for eating it. I told you it was toxic.

By the way, your version is the myth.
There are no West London tribesmen.
I lived in the East End of London for many years and was once able to observe the ritual preparation of penguin - although at great peril to my life.
I can assure you that they do indeed use aftershave. Their ritual actually coined the name 'aftershave' as it is used after they shave the penguins (shaving is used as East London tribesmen are not particularly nice pluckers but they are good at close shaves).
And the treated and smoked penguin meat is used as the main ingredient of doner kebabs.
The actual process originated with the Utopi indians, a group of whom were shipwrecked on Canvey Island in the Winter of 1978. The inhospitable landscape forced them into cannibalism, the last two survivors opening a kebab shop in Dagenham.
Originally the Utopi applied the process to mushrooms for use in their shamanistic rituals*, but mushrooms and fungus in the East End generally serve a structural function in Council housing so the last two Utopi adapted it to penguins - a plentiful commodity in that part of the world.
No Nobel prize for you this year. I suggest you stick to something simpler like uses for glue.



*This is where the urban myth you repeated has it's origins, the Utopi originally coming from the Western Isles.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> The reason I brought this up ...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Serves you right for eating it. I told you it was toxic.
> 
> By the way, your version is the myth.
> There are no West London tribesmen.
> I lived in the East End of London for many years and was once able to observe the ritual preparation of penguin - although at great peril to my life.
> I can assure you that they do indeed use aftershave. Their ritual actually coined the name 'aftershave' as it is used after they shave the penguins (shaving is used as East London tribesmen are not particularly nice pluckers but they are good at close shaves).
> And the treated and smoked penguin meat is used as the main ingredient of doner kebabs.
> The actual process originated with the Utopi indians, a group of whom were shipwrecked on Canvey Island in the Winter of 1978. The inhospitable landscape forced them into cannibalism, the last two survivors opening a kebab shop in Dagenham.
> Originally the Utopi applied the process to mushrooms for use in their shamanistic rituals*, but mushrooms and fungus in the East End generally serve a structural function in Council housing so the last two Utopi adapted it to penguins - a plentiful commodity in that part of the world.
> No Nobel prize for you this year. I suggest you stick to something simpler like uses for glue.
> 
> 
> 
> *This is where the urban myth you repeated has it's origins, the Utopi originally coming from the Western Isles.
Click to expand...

Well, glue this....
Even as you were typing your whimsical nonsense,I was completing an online college and due to my altered state, under the influence of beak and feet, I was able to earn my Phd in Penguin Science.  Having typed a 300 page thesis, which will soon be published, I was able to uncover empirical evedince, to totally refute your entire diatribe as to the Utopi/Penguin connection.

As a Professor in Penguinology, I was able to determine, that I was correct in the concoction for penguin elixer, used in holistic rituals.  Also, according to Dr. Boya D. Umas, PhdP, No penguins ever arrived in London, they were shipwrecked in a fjord in Norway, and died as a result of fatal injuries received.  The year was 1977, not 1978 as you stated, although penguin use a calender based on the traditional antartica calender.

However the roots to your mythical revisionist history of a penguin "invasion" in England, go to a much more sinister cause.  *Penguin Satan Worship.*  Without a full blown discourse on the subject, it is well established that Alister Crowley, himself, had once tried to capture the power of penguin mind control, and win over to himself, an army of penguins, pooling their mind control powers into one formidable force.  His plan failed.

However penguins then had two powerful attributes, their thought control ability, with a combined dose of power from the prince of darkness.  

Lastly, non-hallucinogenic penguins are not toxic, their meat, as mentioned much earlier, is quite edible, and even considered a delicacy in Outer Mongolia.  Jerked, grilled, fried, boiled, baked or otherwise, it's quite edible.  However, it is advised, that you wear your thought control helmet (construction instructions can be found in an earlier post) while killing the Penguin for preperation.  Also, due to their well known involvement with Satan Worship, each penguin should be doused in Holy water, and be blessed by a priest.  This is best done with large groups of penguins, and unused meat, immediately frozen.

In future installments, I will instruct you in the proper methods of torture, and killing of penguins.

J. B.S.M.E., Phd. PS.


----------



## manaheim

This thread is so deeply out of control it's hysterical.

btw, Merry Christmas everyone!


----------



## usayit

Evil Penguins


----------



## Josh66

What more did you expect from a forum?


----------



## jbylake

usayit said:


> Evil Penguins


Yep, and that's only the beginning.  I tried to warn you all, all I say.
This is just a front for the more devious Satanic Worship that these vile little creatures participate in.

Now, let's see who's can come up with the most creative style for desecrating one of these icebound rat's with flippers.

Great work, usayit, you might have just saved a small child from penguin mind control techniques, and a satanic human sacrifice ritual!

Thank you for your humanitarian effort to expose the truth!

J.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

It's just as I predicted. He's gone completely ga-ga from the toxic effect of talking about penguins.

(And between you and me I think he is now living in a fantasy world. Only 300 pages in a PhD submission? It should be 500 minimum)


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> . Only 300 pages in a PhD submission? It should be 500 minimum)


 Jokes on you HZ, I type really small!

J.


----------



## kundalini

I just hope that the West London tribesmen don't get their aftershave from what waffs through the air on the southern end of Edgware Road.  Talk aout toxic.......


----------



## T-town photographer

Man I go on a holiday bender and I can not not even keep up anymore. Even though it is cold enough here now I think I had a drink with a penquin last night.

Michael


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> . Only 300 pages in a PhD submission? It should be 500 minimum)
> 
> 
> 
> Jokes on you HZ, I type really small!
> 
> J.
Click to expand...


Sadly not. If you had read the prospectus you would have seen that I was one of the lecturers marking your submission. I automatically fail anyone who's submission is less than 500 pages whatever size the type. But don't be too upset. It's doing sterling work in the staff toilet. Thank you for using such soft, absorbent paper (it actually should have been printed on penguin hide to have been taken seriously but again you failed to read the prospectus).
PS: You haven't paid your fees  for the last three years so you owe the University £29,000. Pay up or we'll send the bailiffs around.


----------



## Antarctican

usayit said:


> Evil Penguins


Aaahhh, thanks for the new avatar!


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Is it holding a torch or something? Or maybe it's coffee erupting out of a cup...


----------



## usayit

Antarctican said:


> usayit said:
> 
> 
> 
> Evil Penguins
> 
> 
> 
> Aaahhh, thanks for the new avatar!
Click to expand...



LOL... awesome..  very fitting..


----------



## Antarctican

Hertz van Rental said:


> Is it holding a torch or something? Or maybe it's coffee erupting out of a cup...


OMG, it _does_ look like coffee spewing forth!  But I'd never waste good coffee like that. Unless I was throwing it on someone who was insulting me....



usayit said:


> LOL... awesome..  very fitting..


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Antarctican said:


> I'd never waste good coffee like that. Unless I was throwing it on someone who was insulting me....



Your coffee cup must runneth dry :greenpbl:


----------



## Antarctican

Like we have runneth away with this thread??!


----------



## Josh66

...The thread just goes where it wants to go.  It has become self-aware, lol.


----------



## kundalini

Antarctican said:


>


[video=youtube;aQxgv4QtKM8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQxgv4QtKM8"]* COFFEE!!!*[/video]







Ummm, this is Dennis Leary..... so it goes without saying, but the language may offend sensitive ears.


----------



## Antarctican

Ooo, he does work himself into a state, doesn't he? It's as funny to watch him as hear him.


----------



## Pugs

I can't count how many times I've seen that clip and it NEVER decreases in HIGH-larity!


----------



## duncanp

@ OP im certainly one of those drive by posters but i keep coming back and go to the occasional meet


----------



## T-town photographer

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  I really don't care how much wood the wood chuck could chuck if the wood chuck could chuck wood.  What I care about is how much wood does it take to smoke a wood chuck that could chuck wood.  Would it be less or more for a wood chuck that couldn't chuck wood or more for a wood chuck that could chuck wood.  If the wood chuck chucked the wood would we use that wood to smoke said wood chuck??

Michael


----------



## jbylake

kundalini said:


> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> [video=youtube;aQxgv4QtKM8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQxgv4QtKM8"]*COFFEE!!!*[/video]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ummm, this is Dennis Leary..... so it goes without saying, but the language may offend sensitive ears.
Click to expand...

 *FINALLY!  *I think I can die a happy man, now.  This guy has put into words, everything I feel, every day, all my aggression, and all the right points!  Yep, he pretty much summed up my exact attitude, before I have a chance to get my........coffee.
Beautiful.

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## T-town photographer

T-town photographer said:


> How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? I really don't care how much wood the wood chuck could chuck if the wood chuck could chuck wood. What I care about is how much wood does it take to smoke a wood chuck that could chuck wood. Would it be less or more for a wood chuck that couldn't chuck wood or more for a wood chuck that could chuck wood. If the wood chuck chucked the wood would we use that wood to smoke said wood chuck??
> 
> Michael


 
Well how much???

Michael


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Not as much as you'd think but more than you'd expect.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> Not as much as you'd think but more than you'd expect.


I once chucked a wood chuck, several yards.
I think I mave have up-chucked a wood chuck once, also.

J.:mrgreen:


----------



## T-town photographer

jbylake said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> Not as much as you'd think but more than you'd expect.
> 
> 
> 
> I once chucked a wood chuck, several yards.
> I think I mave have up-chucked a wood chuck once, also.
> 
> J.:mrgreen:
Click to expand...

 

How appropriate with New Years eve tomoorw 



Michael


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> Not as much as you'd think but more than you'd expect.
> 
> 
> 
> I once chucked a wood chuck, several yards.
> I think I mave have up-chucked a wood chuck once, also.
> 
> J.:mrgreen:
Click to expand...


But did it make you get wood?


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> Not as much as you'd think but more than you'd expect.
> 
> 
> 
> I once chucked a wood chuck, several yards.
> I think I mave have up-chucked a wood chuck once, also.
> 
> J.:mrgreen:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> But did it make you get wood?
Click to expand...

Not that I recall, but had up-chucked a wood chuck and got wood (chuck) all over my shoes. Does that count? I think the chuck that I up-upchucked, name was chuck, if that matters. BBQ chuck is good, as long as you don't chuck it back up and out of what ever orifice you chucked it into. So up-chucking wood chuck isn't so chucking fun.

J.uke:


----------



## Chiller

one time....I ate a whole bag of black licorice, and drank a lot of rum.   Well...those two dont mix really well, and when I upchucked that, it was mess. :lmao:


----------



## kundalini

Hertz van Rental said:


> But did it make you get wood?


Cheers for diverting the subject line.... I kept getting flashbacks. :lmao:

At +50, I still get the morning wood thumbup. I could care less what a wood chuck would do with it, but it'd be nice to share the bounty with someone else (that would be exclusively a female of the opposite kind as I have a No Entry sign posted on the door).


----------



## Chiller

kundalini said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> But did it make you get wood?
> 
> 
> 
> Cheers for diverting the subject line.... I kept getting flashbacks. :lmao:
> 
> At +50, I still get the morning wood thumbup. I could care less what a wood chuck would do with it, but it'd be nice to share the bounty with someone else (that would be exclusively a female of the opposite kind as I have a No Entry sign posted on the door).
Click to expand...

 
hmm, trying finding a female that will not take your credit cards first. :lmao: 
Thats why I like female manniquins(or is that a femaleaquin, to be politically correct..oh wait, I cant say politically here), little stiff, but get the job done.....hang on...one is calling me right now.


----------



## Pugs

Wrong... SO wrong... and funny!  But... wrong...


----------



## kundalini

I've got a killer credit line and I pay off the balance every month....... c'mon, give it up, what's the number?


----------



## Chiller

There is a line they say at the chapel....dont y'all find it ironic you get married in the same place your body is put to rest.  
 But...that line in the marriage speech..."tilll debt do you part".   I like to say...."Till Death do you apart", cause that is much easier then to have to pay for the rest of your life.


----------



## kundalini

Tell me sumptin' brother.... I've got two ex's.


----------



## Chiller

kundalini said:


> Tell me sumptin' brother.... I've got two ex's.


I used to have one. :mrgreen:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

That's nothing. I can actually write and sign my own name 'n everything :mrgreen:


Or are we talking about those strange, deformed, misshapen bloodsuckers... What are they called again?


Oh, right. Accountants.


----------



## usayit

Chiller said:


> kundalini said:
> 
> 
> 
> Tell me sumptin' brother.... I've got two ex's.
> 
> 
> 
> I used to have one. :mrgreen:
Click to expand...


Whatcha do?  Slice em and have dinner?  Does your bookshelf have "My Recipes" by Hannibal Lecter

Kinda makes me wonder where you get the inspiration for your photos...


----------



## Chiller

usayit said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kundalini said:
> 
> 
> 
> Tell me sumptin' brother.... I've got two ex's.
> 
> 
> 
> I used to have one. :mrgreen:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Whatcha do? Slice em and have dinner? Does your bookshelf have "My Recipes" by Hannibal Lecter
> 
> Kinda makes me wonder where you get the inspiration for your photos...
Click to expand...

 
Row 66, Plot 13

I just got some killer plans to build a coffin bookshelf.  Then I will have a place for ..."things" 

My inspiration is from my mind.


----------



## kundalini

Chiller said:


> Row 66, Plot 13


 Just remember...... when you get to row 69, you have to turn around.


----------



## Chiller

kundalini said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Row 66, Plot 13
> 
> 
> 
> Just remember...... when you get to row 69, you have to turn around.
Click to expand...


----------



## kundalini

I'm off dudes & dudettes.  Just got word that a sibling of a good friend has passed today.  $h1t happens, have a grand and Happy New Year.


----------



## Chiller

Im off to make myself usefull in my crawlspace.  I think Im going to go shoot something. eacesign:


----------



## T-town photographer

kundalini said:


> I'm off dudes & dudettes. Just got word that a sibling of a good friend has passed today. $h1t happens, have a grand and Happy New Year.


 



My thoughts are with you.

Michael


----------



## jbylake

kundalini said:


> I'm off dudes & dudettes. Just got word that a sibling of a good friend has passed today. $h1t happens, have a grand and Happy New Year.


Sorry to hear that, lost one of my best friends about 4 months ago, so I guess I know how you feel.

J


----------



## Chiller

Sorry to hear about your loss K.   Take care my friend.


----------



## T-town photographer

Where would one find papers large enough for either penquin or woodchuck??

Michael


----------



## kundalini

T-town photographer said:


> Where would one find papers large enough for either penquin or woodchuck??
> 
> Michael


* Big Bambú*


----------



## jbylake

kundalini said:


> T-town photographer said:
> 
> 
> 
> Where would one find papers large enough for either penquin or woodchuck??
> 
> Michael
> 
> 
> 
> *Big Bambú*
Click to expand...

Don't need 'em, you can't smoke a whole one at once anyway.  Just break 'em up into bud sized chunks.....

J.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> you can't smoke a whole one at once



You can if you're macho!







...or suicidal.


----------



## kundalini

Hertz van Rental said:


> You can if you're macho!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...or suicidal.


 Some of us are just "seasoned" athletes.....................


----------



## jbylake

kundalini said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> You can if you're macho!
> 
> 
> ...or suicidal.
> 
> 
> 
> Some of us are just "seasoned" athletes.....................
Click to expand...

 
Macho?  If it's B.C. Hydro-Penguin, just a small bowl of beak should do it..

J.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

You can actually use a solvent to extract the active ingredient THP*



*tetrahydropenguinanol


----------



## T-town photographer

Glad to see everyone is back

Michael


----------



## Chiller

kundalini said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> You can if you're macho!
> ...or suicidal.
> 
> 
> 
> Some of us are just *"seasoned" athletes*.....................
Click to expand...

 
Speaking of seasoned athletes....is it me, or is this Nintendo Generation getting lazy.  I have noticed a serious increase in the skateboarders carrying their boards around instead of riding.  I thought they were seasoned enough to ride anywhere.:lmao::lmao:


----------



## Mulewings~

Chiller said:


> Im off to make myself usefull in my crawlspace.  I think Im going to go shoot something. eacesign:





That is what I say to the husband as I walk out the door...with my cameras and rifle....
*I'm off to go shoot something*

He never knows what I'll come back with.
Varmints or photos.


----------



## Chiller

Mulewings~ said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> Im off to make myself usefull in my crawlspace. I think Im going to go shoot something. eacesign:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That is what I say to the husband as I walk out the door...with my cameras and rifle....
> *I'm off to go shoot something*
> 
> He never knows what I'll come back with.
> Varmints or photos.
Click to expand...

 

Y'all aint never seen my crawlspace.  :lmao:

But...you take your rifle shooting with ya?


----------



## Mulewings~

Yes, the coyotes express a great interest in having jack russell terrier for a snack.  I sometimes take a pistol because it is easier to hike with.

...and yes, I live and hike in about 1,000 acres of forest.


----------



## Chiller

Mulewings~ said:


> Yes, the coyotes express a great interest in having jack russell terrier for a snack. I sometimes take a pistol because it is easier to hike with.
> 
> ...and yes, I live and hike in about 1,000 acres of forest.


 
yeyikes... Im glad we dont have to worry about that in the big schmoke of the city.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> You can actually use a solvent to extract the active ingredient THP*
> 
> 
> 
> *tetrahydropenguinanol


Do you mean, sort of like free basing penguin beak?  With ether?  Like Richard Pryor?  Catch yourself on fire?  Are you crazy, man?
Hydroponically Grown Penguin, especially beak and feet, is as good as it gets.  Needs nothing.

J.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Do you know nothing?
THP is oil based so ether isn't a good solvent. Naphthalene is the preferred choice and it is far less flammable.
As for hydroponics. It looks good in theory but you can't beat free-range penguin.
Well, you can beat it if you use a big stick or something*...
Talking of penguins on water. I wonder how far the penguin queen has got up the creek without a paddle?



*Pool cue, length of pipe, lead filled snow shoe, etc.


----------



## kundalini

Hertz van Rental said:


> ......, lead filled snow shoe, etc.


:lmao::lmao::lmao:


Hope you don't mind HvR, but for those unaware.......

http://www.videosift.com/video/Don-t-Eat-the-Yellow-Snow-Frank-Zappa​


----------



## jbylake

kundalini said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> ......, lead filled snow shoe, etc.
> 
> 
> 
> :lmao::lmao::lmao:
Click to expand...

Zappa's preferred method for whapping a favorite baby seal...right up side the head...
Got the entire Apostrophe album a: on CD, b: in my ipod and c: in itunes on my laptop, among others, including Joe's Garage parts 1 and 2, Have to check my CD collection to see how many... but, borrowing from the late Mr. Z, I would like to refine his methodology to include crushing baby seals with a lead filled penguin instead, of course having eaten and smoked all edible and smokable portions..look up Nanook, he's and expert in sensless but amusing baby seal slaughtering..

J.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I think I just about have all of Zappa - including some rarities and bootlegs.
I have _Apostrophe_ on vinyl. Bought it the week it came out. Way back in '74.
Saw him live too... :mrgreen:

For those unacquainted with the blessed St Alphonso - or for those hooked already - try:
Zappa.com > Frank Zappa



Just checked my iTunes and I even have _Bongo Fury_!

And trivia of the week: Last track of Beefheart's _Trout Mask Replica_ has Frank playing drums (reputedly) - it's _Veterans Day Poppy_.


----------



## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> I think I just about have all of Zappa - including some rarities and bootlegs.
> I have _Apostrophe_ on vinyl. Bought it the week it came out. Way back in '74.
> Saw him live too... :mrgreen:
> 
> For those unacquainted with the blessed St Alphonso - or for those hooked already - try:
> Zappa.com > Frank Zappa
> 
> 
> 
> Just checked my iTunes and I even have _Bongo Fury_!
> 
> And trivia of the week: Last track of Beefheart's _Trout Mask Replica_ has Frank playing drums (reputedly) - it's _Veterans Day Poppy_.


I used to have a great deal, but not all of his work, including a live bootleg, on vinyl, but my bitchofa ex-wife put my entire album collection in the basement of her house, and guess what, the freaking basement flooded.  I lost many out of print and one off's along with a treasure of music from the late 60's until about the late 80's when I started buying CD's.  If I would have killed her.....I would be out of prison by now. (enjoying my album collection), and a little bowl of beak.


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## jbylake

Hertz van Rental said:


> Do you know nothing?
> THP is oil based so ether isn't a good solvent. Naphthalene is the preferred choice and it is far less flammable.
> As for hydroponics. It looks good in theory but you can't beat free-range penguin.
> Well, you can beat it if you use a big stick or something*...
> Talking of penguins on water. I wonder how far the penguin queen has got up the creek without a paddle?


 
You're stark raving mad if you think I'm going to poison perfectly good beak oil with naptha, or any other chemical solvent. Secondly, if you kill them properly, free ranging penguins are o.k. but hydroponically cultivated penguin is down to a science now, with each cloned generation, generally containing more potent THP than the previous.

If I want THP oil, I'll squeeze my penguins myself, either in a press, or in the bench vise out in the garage, clean, no solvents. I prefer to use this method if they are alive. I prefer my beak and feet, freshly ground. Naptha in THP oil, you've certainly been hitting the old beak bong way to often....

J.

Oh, BTW, I've found another very useful way to utilise penguin hide. I used some spare, left over from lining my baby seal duster's with, for polishing the chrome on my bike(s). Also good for getting road grime and tar off of the frame and fenders. Thought someone might find this useful.
Just toss 'em when they won't absorb any more.


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## Hertz van Rental

Have you tried jerking penguins?
It's illegal here but we know what you Colonials are like.


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## kundalini

Hertz van Rental said:


> And trivia of the week: Last track of Beefheart's _Trout Mask Replica_ has Frank playing drums (reputedly) - it's _Veterans Day Poppy_.


 I bought Trout Mask Replica on CD, trying to replace my lost vinyl collection.  I musta been doing some really good sheet back in the 70's.

Two words......  Muffin Man.


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## kundalini

Hertz van Rental said:


> Have you tried jerking penguins?
> It's illegal here but we know what you Colonials are like.


It's only allowed while in a circular formation.


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## jbylake

kundalini said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> Have you tried jerking penguins?
> It's illegal here but we know what you Colonials are like.
> 
> 
> 
> It's only allowed while in a circular formation.
Click to expand...

And only while Evelyn a modified dog, having undergone further modifications.....

Yes, there are numerous recipies for all types of jerked penguin in previous posts, from peppery hot, to teryiak and BBQ....

BTW, the crust of the biscuit is the apostrophe....Now take of those damned python boots, they're too tight, and get your head out of the beak pipe...before you start hallucinating ti**ies and beer.

J.


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## kundalini

jbylake said:


> BTW, the crust of the biscuit is the apostrophe....J.


 But what my ears hear (without being too pedantic) is Fido sez...... it's the *crux* of the biscuit. (This is the dog talking now)


It doesn't
And you can't
I won't
And it don't
It hasn't
It isn't
It even ain't
And it shouldn't
It couldn't
He told me no, no, no
I told him yes, yes, yes
I say, I do it all the time
Ain't this boogie a mess


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## bace

I think the commuity died a long time ago when forum moderators were pandering the needs of whiney forum members.

Too many rules. To many people with real talent getting fed up with completely talentless 'technical' photographers.

Meh. lots of reasons really.

Fact is, it's completely new owners now, and the real cool people don't post anymore.

Place is just a money maker now i feel. too much advertising.


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## Josh66

bace said:


> 'technical' photographers



This is what annoys me the most...


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## Antarctican

Jbylake, quit jerking the penguin. They don't like that. And besides, it's illegal in most of the Southern states.

[Yes, I made it out of the wilds of Belize _with_ a paddle. Thankyouverymuch for asking. "Fly" home tomorrow. Yes, some penguins do fly. And not just in THP induced hallucinations]


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## jbylake

Antarctican said:


> Jbylake, quit jerking the penguin. They don't like that. And besides, it's illegal in most of the Southern states.
> 
> [Yes, I made it out of the wilds of Belize _with_ a paddle. Thankyouverymuch for asking. "Fly" home tomorrow. Yes, some penguins do fly. And not just in THP induced hallucinations]



Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll jerk all the penguins I want to jerk.  Happy flying....
Ever see the Godfather?  How about waking up with a dead Penguin head in your bed?.....I'm freezing my A$$ off here, in one of the "southern" states, breaking every record for cold since 1977 and you're paddling around and playing in creeks in Belize.....Sheesh, the nerve of you penguin lovin' Canadian's...

J.


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## jbylake

kundalini said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> BTW, the crust of the biscuit is the apostrophe....J.
> 
> 
> 
> But what my ears hear (without being too pedantic) is Fido sez...... it's the *crux* of the biscuit. (This is the dog talking now)
> 
> 
> It doesn't
> And you can't
> I won't
> And it don't
> It hasn't
> It isn't
> It even ain't
> And it shouldn't
> It couldn't
> He told me no, no, no
> I told him yes, yes, yes
> I say, I do it all the time
> Ain't this boogie a mess
Click to expand...

 
I knew that...maybe need to lay off the beak bowl myself.

Now, someone help me out.  I used to love one of his albums, listened to it a zillion times in the 70's, had a line in it that went _something_ like "bobby you got a head like a potato".  Thought it might be the song San Brdeno, but I can't remember.  I'd like to find that album.

Now quit jerkin your penguin, and find me that song!

J.


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## kundalini

jbylake said:


> .....that went _something_ like "bobby you got a head like a potato". Thought it might be the song San Brdeno, but I can't remember. I'd like to find that album.


You are correct sir.

San Ber'dino lyrics by Frank Zappa


Off the "One Size Fits All" albumn.
(my favorites are Can't Afford No Shoes, Po-jama People, Andy..... and of course..... Evelyn, A Modified Dog)


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## jbylake

kundalini said:


> jbylake said:
> 
> 
> 
> .....that went _something_ like "bobby you got a head like a potato". Thought it might be the song San Brdeno, but I can't remember. I'd like to find that album.
> 
> 
> 
> You are correct sir.
> 
> San Ber'dino lyrics by Frank Zappa
> 
> 
> Off the "One Size Fits All" albumn.
> (my favorites are Can't Afford No Shoes, Po-jama People, Andy..... and of course..... Evelyn, A Modified Dog)
Click to expand...

 
Yep, I loved that album, I believe Inca Roads was on there too...but my favorite on the whole disc was Evelyn, a modified dog..Ahh to be young again.  Lot's of friends of mine used to think I was a little eccentric..they viewed Zappa as something you only listened to while stoned, while I would listen to it anytime...and really enjoyed it.


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## Hertz van Rental

I used to listen to Zappa a lot (started around '68) and played him to anyone I could get to sit still long enough, trying to convert them.
Beefheart too. Saw him live three times.
Zappa has finally been accepted for the genius I always knew he was. _Yellow Shark_ was played at the Proms year before last :mrgreen:
If certain people would like to drop me a PM I may be able to help them out.


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## KingShag

Hertz van Rental said:


> Is it holding a torch or something? Or maybe it's coffee erupting out of a cup...



I believe it is a chainsaw the penguin is holding.     The complete image from the website http://www.evil-penguins.com is:







I got the book for Xmas, and it's hilarious!


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## jbylake

Bring that chainsaw on...damned canadian penguin transplants....I got something for you penguin...

Canada better do something about their penguin immigration laws, or we're goning to have to come up north and take care of it ourselves...

J.

Little satanic worshiping, mind controlling, one world government conspiracy, suckers..


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## Chiller

jbylake said:


> Bring that chainsaw on...damned canadian penguin transplants....I got something for you penguin...
> 
> Canada better do something about their penguin immigration laws, or we're goning to have to come up north and take care of it ourselves...
> 
> J.
> 
> Little satanic worshiping, mind controlling, one world government conspiracy, suckers..


   This is not a political forum,  Please keep your Satan stuff to yourself.  :lmao::lmao:


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## Hertz van Rental

If I have to explain the difference between _worshipping_ Satan and _voting_ for Satan to you once more you'll go to bed without supper.


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## Chiller

Hertz van Rental said:


> If I have to explain the difference between _worshipping_ Satan and _voting_ for Satan to you once more you'll go to bed without supper.


  What if I am Satan...then you all go to bed without anything. :lmao:


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## jbylake

Chiller said:


> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> If I have to explain the difference between _worshipping_ Satan and _voting_ for Satan to you once more you'll go to bed without supper.
> 
> 
> 
> What if I am Satan...then you all go to bed without anything. :lmao:
Click to expand...

 
Then, if you're Satan, take your Satan Worshiping, Mind Control, Canadian migrating immagrite penguins and go home.  I command thee...

J.:greendev:


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## manaheim

ohmygod this thread is still going?


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## stephenrapoport

Well, as someone about to type their 3rd post I'm hardly in a position to comment, but here's my 2 cents!

Many forums don't allow users to post links/html/add their own website until they have made a certain number of posts (10 seems common). I think that's a great idea as, if SPAM is the objective, the people will soon realise it's quicker to go elsewhere to post their links.


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## Hertz van Rental

jbylake said:


> Chiller said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hertz van Rental said:
> 
> 
> 
> If I have to explain the difference between _worshipping_ Satan and _voting_ for Satan to you once more you'll go to bed without supper.
> 
> 
> 
> What if I am Satan...then you all go to bed without anything. :lmao:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Then, if you're Satan, take your Satan Worshiping, Mind Control, Canadian migrating immagrite penguins and go home.  I command thee...
> 
> J.:greendev:
Click to expand...


I'll vote for that!


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## Antarctican

:raisedbrow:  

Why do I have to keep telling you:  it's _Penguin_ Worshipping you should all be practicing.


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## Hertz van Rental

Would that be the waterproof, battery operated penguin?
You may worship it but we have our minds set on something higher than self-gratification.


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## Chiller

Is a pencilguin any relation to a penguin? :er:


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## Antarctican

Hertz van Rental said:


> Would that be the waterproof, battery operated penguin?
> You may worship it but we have our minds set on something higher than self-gratification.


I find it extremely funny that your link leads one to an ad for a discounted inflatable sheep with a cute red bow on its head (and not to the ad you no doubt intended :raisedbrow. Given that you live in the country. And that rumours of sheep bothering abound in such places. 


			
				Chiller said:
			
		

> Is a pencilguin any relation to a penguin?


 No, as penguins are well-rounded and do _not_ have sharp pointy ends


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## Hertz van Rental

Antarctican said:


> penguins ... do _not_ have sharp pointy ends



They do however have sharp pointy tongues.


And of course I knew where that link led. :er:


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## Antarctican

Hertz van Rental said:


> Antarctican said:
> 
> 
> 
> penguins ... do _not_ have sharp pointy ends
> 
> 
> 
> 
> They do however have sharp pointy tongues.
Click to expand...

 [FONT=&quot]
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





  Why, so they do!  [/FONT] [FONT=&quot]
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




[/FONT]


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## manaheim

Pengalasaurus Rex


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## jbylake

stephenrapoport said:


> Well, as someone about to type their 3rd post I'm hardly in a position to comment, but here's my 2 cents!
> 
> Many forums don't allow users to post links/html/add their own website until they have made a certain number of posts (10 seems common). I think that's a great idea as, if SPAM is the objective, the people will soon realise it's quicker to go elsewhere to post their links.


Hertz has a lead filled snow shoe, I hope he hit's you on the nose , and hits you on the fin.......great googly moogly........
go like the mud shark in your mythology, in a circular mothion.......to another thread...with you 3rd post....peek abooooo...oooo.ooooh..


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## T-town photographer

I just heard that Chiller left the forum can anyone fill me in????

Michael


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## Josh66

T-town photographer said:


> I just heard that Chiller left the forum can anyone fill me in????
> 
> Michael



http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/dark-side-gallery/189485-farewell.html


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