# you can thank me later



## lostprophet (Dec 24, 2007)

to all the people I sent those wonderful txt jokes to late last night, you can thank me later for brightening up your lives


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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)




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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)

Actually, on further reflection, that must be a gag post. LP never has _wonderful_ jokes, now does he?  :greenpbl:


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## Alex_B (Dec 24, 2007)

didn't get one ...


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## ferny (Dec 24, 2007)

I thought I was special. 


I could have done without knowing your sexual desires with you ex though.


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## jstuedle (Dec 24, 2007)

Me neither! I know I'm special, my mommy told me so! I wear the funny little pointy hat and everything.


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## Garbz (Dec 24, 2007)

This thread just generates fear uncertainty and doubt. Who in their right mind would give their contact details to LP!


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## Alex_B (Dec 24, 2007)

this thread is evil!!


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## jstuedle (Dec 24, 2007)

Garbz said:


> This thread just generates fear uncertainty and doubt. Who in their right mind would give their contact details to LP!



You obviously assume that those who have posted here are of sound mind. An obvious error compounded by multiple posts.


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## dpolston (Dec 24, 2007)

well... I'm feeling hurt and dejected.


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## Becky (Dec 24, 2007)

You expect me to say thank you for that utter filth!? :lmao:


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## Alex_B (Dec 24, 2007)

Becky, you must be very special, because you got what many of us didn't!


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## Becky (Dec 24, 2007)

Traumatised?

And yes I'm special!


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## Alex_B (Dec 24, 2007)

Becky said:


> Traumatised?



Sod off!

Errm, I mean, 'Sort of' 



> And yes I'm special!



Because you kick him?


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## Becky (Dec 24, 2007)

Precisely.


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## Alex_B (Dec 24, 2007)

maybe I will try it myself! :mrgreen:


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## Becky (Dec 24, 2007)

You see Andy, I'm building a small arsekicking army right under your nose. I warned you...


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## ferny (Dec 24, 2007)

If his nose is in proportion to his hands, it'll be a big army before he notices.




And Becky... See, I told you.


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## lostprophet (Dec 24, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Actually, on further reflection, that must be a gag post. LP never has _wonderful_ jokes, now does he?  :greenpbl:



that just hurts



Alex_B said:


> didn't get one ...



count yourself lucky




Garbz said:


> This thread just generates fear uncertainty and doubt. Who in their right mind would give their contact details to LP!



People with disturbed minds



Alex_B said:


> this thread is evil!!



no its not



dpolston said:


> well... I'm feeling hurt and dejected.



and just what does hurt and dejected have to say about that or do they enjoy it?



Becky said:


> You expect me to say thank you for that utter filth!? :lmao:



filth?? what filth? they were good clean jokes




Becky said:


> You see Andy, I'm building a small arsekicking army right under your nose. I warned you...



build away, your going to need more than an army for I have a legion of Otters


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## Alex_B (Dec 24, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> build away, your going to need more than an army for I have a legion of Otters




But one pot bellied pig counts for many an otter.

However, I can still be bribed ...


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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)

Hey, LP, _you_ haven't thanked _me_ for that raft of sidesplitting humour I texted you, to help get you through the last shopping day before Christmas.


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## lostprophet (Dec 24, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Hey, LP, _you_ haven't thanked _me_ for that raft of sidesplitting humour I texted you, to help get you through the last shopping day before Christmas.




not had any txts from you, probably because my phone isn't setup for international calls


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## Becky (Dec 24, 2007)

What'd you tell me Ferny?

Andy I have no otter fear!


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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> not had any txts from you, probably because my phone isn't setup for international calls


Ahhhh, your loss!


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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)

Okay, here they are....

 What                    does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a                    chimney?                  
Santa Claustrophobia !                                                   

What                    do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail !                                 

Who                    delivers cat's Christmas presents?                   
Santa Paws !                                

Why                    does Father Christmas go down the chimney?                   
Because it soots him !                                

Who                    delievers elephants's Christmas presents?                   
Elephanta Claus !                                

How                    many chimney does Father Christmas go down?                   
Stacks !


(I'll get my coat.....)


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## lostprophet (Dec 24, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Okay, here they are....
> 
> What                    does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a                    chimney?
> Santa Claustrophobia !
> ...




I'm rather glad I didn't receive those excuses for jokes, think they'd of made me slash my wrists


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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)

Hmmmpf, and there i thought they fit the Brit sense of humour to a 't'. My sources must be wrong.  

Ingrate.


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## lostprophet (Dec 24, 2007)

*cough cough* clears throat

I was chopping carrots with The Grim Reaper yesterday.....









.... You could say I was dicing with death


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## Antarctican (Dec 24, 2007)

Wow, I'm glad I don't have a knife in my hand at this moment.... :roll:


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## lostprophet (Dec 24, 2007)

I went for a job interview yesterday at the RSPCA, god their office was small, you couldn't even swing a cat in there


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## dpolston (Dec 24, 2007)

"bada-bing"


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## ferny (Dec 25, 2007)

To those I just spammed, I appologise. But I could have sent far worse! :mrgreen:


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## lostprophet (Dec 25, 2007)

you have worse?? send them, send them now!


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## Alex_B (Dec 25, 2007)

please spare us .. i did not even get the first load


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## lostprophet (Dec 25, 2007)

oh your get them and more at the meetup


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## Alex_B (Dec 25, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> oh your get them and more at the meetup



urgh .. i better take precautions and put on my German anti-homour armour!


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## Alex_B (Dec 25, 2007)

ouch, this laptop is freaking hot, and it is burning me legs!


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## lostprophet (Dec 25, 2007)

pour some water on it, that should cool it down


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## Alex_B (Dec 25, 2007)

it is the laptop with the drain holes anyway... it actually would surive it! but my bed would look like i peed , which is just too embarrassing. so i prefer to burn my legs.


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## lostprophet (Dec 25, 2007)




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## Alex_B (Dec 25, 2007)

you are laughing ... but it is really painful today.. i wonder why! maybe I blocked the heat exhausts and it is overheating.... hmmm


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## ferny (Dec 26, 2007)

Alex you know using a laptop on your laps burns your nuts and kills your sperm, don't you?

If you decide which mobile number to give me (choice of 12 isn't it? :mrgreen then you'd get the crap jokes.


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## Alex_B (Dec 26, 2007)

ferny said:


> Alex you know using a laptop on your laps burns your nuts and kills your sperm, don't you?
> 
> If you decide which mobile number to give me (choice of 12 isn't it? :mrgreen then you'd get the crap jokes.



My shanks are long you know, and my laptop is tiny, so having it on my lap does not necessarily mean it is on my genitals 

it is just 3 numbers ... but i should not give you the number I use for my job to get strange texts


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## lostprophet (Dec 26, 2007)

Alex_B said:


> My shanks are long you know, and my laptop is tiny, so having it on my lap does not necessarily mean it is on my genitals
> 
> * it is just 3 numbers* ... but i should not give you the number I use for my job to get strange texts



your phone has only 3 numbers?? you must live in a really unpopulated area.

"hello it that 123?"

"no this is 132 you must have the wrong number"


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## Alex_B (Dec 26, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> your phone has only 3 numbers?? you must live in a really unpopulated area.
> 
> "hello it that 123?"
> 
> "no this is 132 you must have the wrong number"



not talking of digits here! 

All my three numbers have 10 digits each


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## Alex_B (Dec 26, 2007)

the good thing is , when I am bored, I can send myself dirty jokes or even phone myself and leave a message.


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## lostprophet (Dec 26, 2007)

A man goes to the Doctors with a bit of lettuce sticking out of his bum

"Doctor is it serious?"

"serious!" the Doctor replies "it's just the tip of the iceberg"


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## lostprophet (Dec 26, 2007)

and that people, is what you are missing out on


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## Antarctican (Dec 26, 2007)

Becky, you seem to be the expert...give LP a kick in the butt for that one, okay?


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## Becky (Dec 26, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> Becky, you seem to be the expert...give LP a kick in the butt for that one, okay?



You hear that Andy!? Listen to the lady!


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## lostprophet (Dec 26, 2007)

Becky said:


> You hear that Andy!? Listen to the lady!



oh please! Looks like you two are in cahoots


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## Antarctican (Dec 26, 2007)

No, I'm in Toronto.  :greenpbl:


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## lostprophet (Dec 26, 2007)

Antarctican said:


> No, I'm in Toronto.  :greenpbl:



*funnah *


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## elsaspet (Dec 26, 2007)

lostprophet said:


> A man goes to the Doctors with a bit of lettuce sticking out of his bum
> 
> "Doctor is it serious?"
> 
> "serious!" the Doctor replies "it's just the tip of the iceberg"


 
I thought my life was sheer perfection, but it seems you've been holding out on me LP.  How will life ever be the same again, knowing that I'm living just half a life????????
Damn you LP.  Damn you!:greenpbl:


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## Alex_B (Dec 28, 2007)

elsaspet said:


> I thought my life was sheer perfection, but it seems you've been holding out on me LP.  How will life ever be the same again, knowing that I'm living just half a life????????
> Damn you LP.  Damn you!:greenpbl:


you can get a virtual other half of your life on here!


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## Alex_B (Dec 28, 2007)

looks like i got my personal load of crap text jokes now


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## Antarctican (Dec 28, 2007)

From ferny?


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## Alex_B (Dec 28, 2007)

:shock:


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## Antarctican (Dec 28, 2007)




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## Alex_B (Dec 28, 2007)




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## ferny (Dec 29, 2007)

I take it you weren't in the UK as each of my "free" txts cost me 20p. The same rate Euston charge. 

So with each txt I send you I could be taking the piss.

*boom boom tsssssssssssh*


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## ScottS (Dec 29, 2007)

How about i just thank you now?


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## Alex_B (Dec 29, 2007)

ferny said:


> I take it you weren't in the UK as each of my "free" txts cost me 20p. The same rate Euston charge.
> 
> So with each txt I send you I could be taking the piss.
> 
> *boom boom tsssssssssssh*



no, I was not in the UK .. but I guess even if I was, you would have to pay that extra since it was a German mobile number! But I think your phone company sort of rips you off here as text messages normally do not cost much more when going abroad.

So I owe you a drink now, is that what you mean?


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## ferny (Dec 29, 2007)

That's not what I was saying. But if you wnana buy me three or four I'd not say now. :mrgreen:

The number I got from you was +44. I probably got charged by each company it passed through to get to you.


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## Alex_B (Dec 29, 2007)

ferny said:


> That's not what I was saying. But if you wnana buy me three or four I'd not say now. :mrgreen:



umph  .. guess there is no way out for me now ...



> The number I got from you was +44. I probably got charged by each company it passed through to get to you.



no, it was +49, i am pretty sure.


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## ferny (Dec 29, 2007)

No, you're right. It's +49.


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## Alex_B (Dec 29, 2007)

+49 is a disease which infects your phone, you know that? It is transmitted via texting


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## ferny (Dec 29, 2007)

It's ok, I believe in protected txt.


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## Antarctican (Dec 29, 2007)

ferny said:


> ...each of my "free" txts cost me 20p. The same rate Euston charge.


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## lostprophet (Dec 29, 2007)

What do you give a sick budgie?











































































































































































































 Tweetment.


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## Alex_B (Dec 29, 2007)

And I did think / hope this thread was dead


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