# What do you do when your significant other disapproves of your hobby?



## Sorano (Oct 29, 2007)

Help..  Short version: I want to become a semi-pro, just bought my first digital SLR, my husband could care less about photography and despises the fact that I spend $550 (on ebay) for the canon digital rebel xti, which he views as frivolous and impulsive.  Yet money came from my parents.  Huge fight and bawling my eyes out, don't know where to go from here..  Skip the long version if you want, but please reply with suggestions...



Long version:
I've always admired photography, and have always loved taking pictures.  I've been wanting to upgrade to a digital SLR for more than a year, and for months I've been looking at options, price/quality comparisons, etc, everything you'd expect from a person wanting to pursue a new hobby who wants to make sure they get a good product at a good price.  

When my point-and-shoot was damaged recently early last month (lens broken during a playful fight with my husband teasing me about taking my camera everywhere), I thought it could be a good opportunity to switch to an entry-level SLR, instead of getting just another point-and-shoot that takes crappy pictures and well, since this is a photography forum I know you know what I'm talking about.  

When I first broached the subject with him it took forever to convince my husband to approve.. as much as I love photography and taking photos, my husband would never even take/look at a photo unless he had to.  Special occasions/ trips/ funny moments etc, he never feels the need to take photographs or having photographs around. 

After a long and stressful talk, he agreed to let me buy an SLR - silly thing is, I'm requesting it as a Christmas present from my parents, so it won't even come from *our* money.  Since then it's been a few weeks, in which I took the time to look at a bunch of SLRs, weighted in various options, practically went crazy over deciding what to get.  

I've been sort of partial to the Canon Digital Rebel XT (350d) for a while, but ultimately decided on the XTi (400d) for a variety of reasons, including the dust-reduction feature since I'm planning for a lot of outdoors shooting.  Anyway... I'll mention again that it's settled with my parents that they will reimburse me for this as a Christmas present (I'm still in my last year of grad school and not yet making money, sadly).  

For the last few weeks I've just been going crazy with indecisions, Canon vs Nikon, Digital Rebel vs d70 etc, all the stuff a noobie gets through.  Only thing that I obsessed way too much over everything, and even he, my husband, told me to just pick one and get it, rather than obsessing endlessly.   So when today I finally settled for the Digital Rebel XTi and got it brand new from ebay with a bunch of other accessories for around $550 (body + standard lens + memory card + batteries/charger + strap + cables), I was incredibly excited and couldn't wait to share it with my husband..   I call him, he's happy to hear that I've made a decision, but when he hears that I bought it already on ebay and that it cost $550 he just went crazy and wouldn't talk to me.. I ask you this, is $550 a lot for a digital SLR??  We all know it isn't, but yet he thought it would be somewhere around $350.. so he would keep hanging up on me and not answer me.. Finally he called me back after hearing my messages, and in the end he said he loves me and that's most important, even though he dislikes photography and everything that's related to it.  I'm of course happy that he's talking to me again, but at the same time also feel horrible and misunderstood, and also unsure about why we even had this fight, since the money for the camera would come from my parents.  

It's just so hard with him disapproving so much of photography.  What if I will want to get a new lens in the future?  What if I will want different accessories?  I wanted to be honest with him rather than just buy the thing and tell him it was $300, even though it wasn't his/our money but a present from my parents.  But with such a strong reaction it really makes me want to be less open in the future.  You would think that since you are doing the right thing by telling the truth, everything should be fine?  

Help.. huge cultural/personality clash..  You really feel invalidated as a person when your loved one could care less about your hobby..

Did you ever have/do you currently have a significant other that disapproves so much of your hobby?   And how do you go about it?  Any suggestions are most welcome..

At any rate thanks for reading this, it really helps pouring yourself out..


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## JDS (Oct 29, 2007)

Before I voice my opinion..3 questions:

Does he have any expensive hobbies?
Do you ever plan to try to make money from your hobby?
Does he ever plan to?


Fighting is never a good thing between spouses..the last thing I would advise would be anything that would put any stress on the relationship - that comes first in my book.

Fortunately for me, my wife has been very supportive of my hobbies.  None of them are really cheap, and any advancement in them is slow because of that.  However, with photography, I'm starting to make a little bit of money off of it, so that helps matters a little bit in that I'm getting a return on investment.

Maybe she's so supportive because in turn she makes me be supportive of her expensive hobbies...


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## abraxas (Oct 29, 2007)

I got a dog like that.  Wants all my attention all the time.  I love the beast, yet I do as I please.  If it gets real bad, don't feed him for a day or two- the mutt will get over it.  If it gets worse, move without him.  Life's too short. R-U hot?


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## cpd23 (Oct 29, 2007)

I hope I am wrong but it sounds like there may be more problems than just the hobby and camera.  Take a long hard look at what is happening around you and seek some outside help if you find its needed.


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## jols (Oct 29, 2007)

firstly not all point and shoots takes 'crappy' pictures photographers do!!!!

i cant see what your husband has to moan about except why couldnt you wait til you had the money from your parents until you bought it?

thirdly when you need to buy a new lens ect get yourself a job and buy it out of your money.

my husband supports my trying to make money out of photography but i also have a part time job and im a mum and he really likes it when i do a wedding and then we all go on holiday on the profits ha ha


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## THORHAMMER (Oct 29, 2007)

its your money, have fun with it. get good with it and make some money from it. then buy the other stuff you need. 

How about his hobbies, car etc... ? 

sounds like you are married to a control freak, but I dont know the 
circumstances. 

for a hobbyist 2-3K can last a few years of fun learnign and joy. 

Ill bet he spent that much on his computer/wheels/car engine/stereo etc...


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## (Ghastly) Krueger (Oct 29, 2007)

Sorry to hear about your situation, sounds quite... stressful.

From what you said, your husband is being quite unfair and part of me would say "tell him to chill, it's not affecting him." Or is it? Why do you think he reacts so strongly? What's going on in his mind about this topic? Is it just that he dislikes photography? Is something else going on?

Talk to him and try to find out what's up. Tell him why the hobby is important to you. Assess the situation and maybe you'll have to make a decision and keep one, like Abraxas said.

I've had some problems with my wife... so I started taking pics she likes... our son, the pets, herself... made a couple of enlargements of the best shots (which would've been hard to get by somebody else in the family and / or with a p&s) and now she complains a bit less...

Like others said, what are his interests? This can work in two ways, if he spends money, you can call the "fairness" card on him... otherwise, maybe you can get some pics for him of what he likes.

Good luck


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## Alpha (Oct 29, 2007)

If photography is a true passion, and your husband won't support you in it, then you probably have more significant issues than just money.

I've seen these things go either way, though usually over wives being jealous of their photographer husbands shooting models. Find a way to compromise or give up the hobby, if it's just a hobby to you. If you can't live without it, then you may have a more difficult decision at hand.


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## Iron Flatline (Oct 29, 2007)

This is not unheard of. You're shifting attention to something that is "just yours" and you'll have to figure out a way to include him, or to make him comfortable with it. 

How old are you guys? I don't mean that in a condescending way, I'm just interested - I assume you're both on the younger side. There are obviously growing pains in the relationship, see if you can work them out. It's perfectly healthy to have interests that are exclusively your own, the problem is that both sides need to understand that. 

My wife is quite happy to have me in front of the computer working on images...


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## (Ghastly) Krueger (Oct 29, 2007)

Iron Flatline said:


> My wife is quite happy to have me in front of the computer working on images...


 
Instead of at the bar working on some cold ones...


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## LaFoto (Oct 29, 2007)

Heya Sorano, and welcome to ThePhotoForum 
We won't really be able to help the two of you, since this seems to be something a bit fundamental (you say "cultural/personality clash"), we can at least share. And while I can't say my husband is as clearly against photography being my big hobby, I do know where you come from when you say you feel awfully misunderstood. You have a passion that he feels unable to share, and you feel he does not even begin to understand how much of a passion it is to you to express yourself in photos. And here I am, still wondering if my husband really knows how much it means to me. My photography hobby has only become "interesting" to him when (and all this only happened throughout this year) I began to make some money with it, so that I could go and buy myself the lens I had coveted for so long, and later the external flash that I so wanted, from the money I made out of my hobby. 

Maybe, if you two stick this momentary friction out over your getting the camera when the chance to get it had come, even if that was 2 months before Christmas, and you really begin to become as "semi pro" as you would want to be, and you then begin to make some money with it, he'll come round? Maybe when he hears others say that your photos are good he will begin to look at you with surprise at first (happend to my husband when he first heard others speak about my photos), later with pride, and a new recognition? 

You will have to work a bit ... on your new hobby AND on your relationship. But I believe it can well be worth it, and even the most picture-blind husbands CAN come round!


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## sabbath999 (Oct 29, 2007)

Me? I flog her around the fleet with a cat-o-nine-tails, and if that don't suit I keelhaul her. Generally that at least makes her reluctant to give me any lip about my new camera equipment.


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## Greatwhite (Oct 29, 2007)

Hi,  And welcome to the forum....

WOW....you have an interesting situation.....

I understand someone not 'into' photography, but to "dislikes photography and everything that's related to it" is a bit....weird to me...

Your first question, only you can answer is why is it so threatening to him?

Also, I find it perhaps a clue, that your P&S camera was broken during a 'playful' fight with him.....about you carrying the camera.....maybe a coincidence, but maybe not.

And he hangs up on your and won't talk to you?  WOW, hopefully he will grow out of that when he gets out of grade school and gets into high school....man.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is my thoughts....I could be totally wrong, but reading between the lines, I am seeing clues.

GOOD LUCK, and I mean that sincerly...for both of you!


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## hamster (Oct 29, 2007)

cpd23 said:


> I hope I am wrong but it sounds like there may be more problems than just the hobby and camera.  Take a long hard look at what is happening around you and seek some outside help if you find its needed.



I agree. He's got some sort of problem, and the camera probably doesn't have much to do with it. Sorry, but he sounds like a total a-hole. Then again there are two sides to every story.


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## JIP (Oct 29, 2007)

Well I imagine there are alot worse hobbies you could have.  I don't want to sound like a jerk here but WHAT A JERK!!!!!.  How can photography be something tha gets in his way what is it about photography that he finds so offensive.  Honestly that kind of reaction sounds a little weird to me.


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## Deimodius (Oct 30, 2007)

Two words: Couples. Therapy.


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## lordson (Oct 30, 2007)

i was in your situation not long ago.

when i first introduced the idea of spending $600 on a camera to my gf, she flipped out too.

but i got it anyway, and when i took it round to her place and showed it to her and starting taking some pictures and told her about some of the functions like shutter, apeture, lighting conditions, exposure. she wanted to play around with the camera and she couldn't really put it down and now loves that big black brick

i guess i lucked out, but perhaps you could show your husband the camera, do some research first, and tell him some interesting things about it, take a few snaps and show him how cool it is, maybe he'll come round.

he should love you and be supportive of what makes you happy and have an open mind about things. what does he have against photography anyway? talk about un-based prejudices


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## Rock (Oct 30, 2007)

I had a similar situation with a different hobby (motorsports related) that cost me thousands of dollars with my FIRST wife........

I know now that the hobby wasn't the issue. It was the time I spent doing something important to me WITHOUT her.......Take a long hard look at the reasons he doesn't like it, the relationship and be honest with yourself about it.

I personally would not give up something that I was passionate about for anyone but the first time around that contributed (partially) to the demise of the relationship.

Do what makes you happy, life is way too short to be unhappy or controlled by someone in the name of love.....


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## davidfromoz (Oct 31, 2007)

I'm probably just repeating what others have said, but this doesn't sound like a photography problem to me.  And there are probably only two people who can solve this problem.  I'd take any advice I get on the matter here with a grain or two of salt since we can't possibly understand your problem in a few short lines.

Now, that we've got that out of the way let me wade in and give some advice.

If I were you I wouldn't try to justify the purchase with its investment return value.  I am no expert in this area, but I'd say that buying your first DSLR and making plans to go semi pro is a bit premature.  And not only that, but if it doesn't happen then it might be the cause of future arguments.

Secondly, if money is a problem, and your husband didn't know how much you plan to spend then you certainly failed to communicate.  We don't know your situation, but if your parents' gift could have perhaps been spent on something else then you really should have discussed it in detail before spending it.

Finally, and importantly, it sounds like the both of you really need to communicate better.  Then you can make important decisions together and agree before you act on them.

Best of luck.  And I hope after the smoke has cleared you enjoy you camera ;-)

cheers,
David


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## jedithebomber (Oct 31, 2007)

If your SO has a problem with  $550 then your journey toward semi-proism is going to be a rough one. 

Other than that, what the others have said...


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## Sw1tchFX (Nov 1, 2007)

If my significant other disapproved, i'd *get a new one*. 

I couldn't be with someone who didn't _at least_ be ok with the fact that I do this for a supplemental income, let alone a hobby. 

If your husband isn't supporting you in this endeavor, what else might *he won't support you* on?


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## Mesoam (Nov 1, 2007)

well unfortunately you seem to be deeper than most...

I just don't date girls who don't support things I enjoy. I am completely open to sharing my hobbies but if they don't get them, or aren't into them or have negative input towards them, LATER!


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## Rick Waldroup (Nov 1, 2007)

It is odd that your husband so strongly disapproves of photography in general.

The deeper you get into this, the more money you are going to spend.  If he thinks it is bad now, wait until you start to buy more equipment...

"I have no fear of photography as long as it cannot be used in heaven and in hell."
Edvard Munch


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## xfloggingkylex (Nov 1, 2007)

you need to ask him why he has such a problem with you getting into photography.

if it is because it takes time away from him, tell him you'd like him to come along when you go out taking pictures (not just the bag carrier).

if its money, consider getting a part time job.


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## Sarah Elizabeth (Nov 1, 2007)

I would take snaps of him packing his stuff and the door hitting him on the way out.  But that is just me... I'm a 25 yr old woman ...hear me RAWR!


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## elsaspet (Nov 1, 2007)

Bless your heart.  I hate fighting with my hubby.
Unless it's draining your account, which it isn't, or taking time from your family, which it shouldn't, then you should be able to do as you please.  After all, you ARE an adult.  
Has he given you any specific info about what's got his nads in a bind?


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## JerryPH (Nov 1, 2007)

Lots of good advice, but I seem to see a little bit of an issue concerning a lack of basic respect on the part of your hubby.

It could be jealousy that you have a hobby that you enjoy, it could be jealousy that it takes you away from him.  It could be something entirely different and your hobby just triggers on this by coincidence.

In any case, he is the one that needs to learn to respect your desires and wishes.  Something as basic as a hobby should not be the source of stress in a family unless that hobby takes priority over more important things such as working on the relationship.  Obviously, a nice long serious conversation is due.

I'd also like to suggest that there are times that you take walks and purposefully leave the camera at home and other times that you take your camera with you.  In either case, talk it out and let him know that as long as he respects your desires to continue in this hobby, you are willing to go 50-50 with him on this.

Initially this may cut into your camera time, but its a small price to pay for peace between both of you... and in time, if he is mature enough to see it as a form of pleasure for you, he will  relax his reservations on this and let you get more serious about it. 

Once he sees that you can bring in a little fun money with your hobby, be mindful.  If he is the kind easily threatened, it could raise another stink... but let's hope that it has the opposite effect.  The argument that the money this job brought in could be used for a private weekend get-away for the both of you just may entice him enough to send you out to get more jobs... lol.

Good luck in your endeavors.


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## xfloggingkylex (Nov 1, 2007)

I finally had the time to read the long version, and I have to say, this is very odd.

It is very strange to have such an aversion to something like photography.  Also, the fact that he hangs up on you is just plain childish.  If he has a problem he needs to say something about it, and not just that he has a problem.  Ask him to explain why he is so anti photography.  maybe he had an embarrassing picture taken of him in high school or something??  something that changed his life negatively?

Either way, it's time for him to grow up, it's not like your hobby is exotic dancing for other men.


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## LaFoto (Nov 2, 2007)

I wonder how much of all this our new member Sorano actually reads, she's been active once, i.e. when she posted, and her last activity on the forums reads as 29 October (the day she posted). Loads of good advice to ... no one?


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## Iron Flatline (Nov 2, 2007)

LOL, when I saw that this thread was still alive I went to see if the OP had any additional posts since her first one... Maybe she got better emotional support on DP Review...


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## rmh159 (Nov 2, 2007)

I don't know that it matters if she ever comes back (maybe she just needed to vent / have a good cry) but I'm sure there are enough other people out there with this same issue to warrant some discussion



abraxas said:


> I got a dog like that. Wants all my attention all the time. I love the beast, yet I do as I please. If it gets real bad, don't feed him for a day or two- the mutt will get over it. If it gets worse, move without him. Life's too short. R-U hot?


 
What with this? Creeeeepy.


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## Sarah Elizabeth (Nov 2, 2007)

That is funny. ABRAXAS you seem knarley  ps. I am not hot


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## skieur (Nov 17, 2007)

You just need to point out to your significant other that there are a lot of "hobbies" that are considerably more "disturbing", "dangerous" and "costly" than photography.

skieur


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## JerryPH (Nov 18, 2007)

skieur said:


> You just need to point out to your significant other that there are a lot of "hobbies" that are considerably more "disturbing", "dangerous" and "costly" than photography.


 
Yeah, like cow tipping or something.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

wow, this is a long thread with many serious responses.

I only got one question, why does he have to "agree to let you buy" something you like from *your *Christmas money?

The "agree to let you buy" is very shocking to me. 
Is he your master or your husband?

I do understand that discussions arise if your financial situation is very tight or desperate. But those would be discussions, not what you describe.


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## Iron Flatline (Nov 18, 2007)

Well, that's not entirely right either, Alex_B. In most long-term relationships the partners discuss and agree on major purchases. Very few families in the world have abundant or limitless resources, so buying a major electronic device is something that might set back other goals, such as building up a college fund for the kids, paying off the house, or saving up for a family vacation. 

Anyway, the OP never posted again. Who knows how this resolved itself....


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

Iron Flatline said:


> Well, that's not entirely right either, Alex_B. In most long-term relationships the partners discuss



True! And sensible! But the way it was described here this was no discussion, but a veto at first. It was the phrase "let me buy" which sounds not like democracy.



> Anyway, the OP never posted again. Who knows how this resolved itself....




true again, and we do not really know the whole situation, so it is hard to judge.


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## patrickt (Nov 18, 2007)

In my humble opinion, it frequently has less to do with the hobby than it does with controlling a person and how they spend their time. I think I was on my third interest when I realized my wife didn't want me to have any interest beyond her.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

patrickt said:


> In my humble opinion, it frequently has less to do with the hobby than it does with controlling a person and _how they spend their time_. I think I was on my third interest when I realized my wife didn't want me to have any interest beyond her.



Yes, some people cannot get over the fact that their partner does have his own interests and spare time activities.

In particular photography is very suspicious since it does not necessarily involve the partner.


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## forceofnature (Nov 18, 2007)

Your husband will come around.  I am sure he has his own hobbies too.  My wife cant stand me riding a motorcycle, and I cant wait to add the turbo to it! 

All hobbies are expensive. But 550 for a camera is not bad at all he should be glad you didn't buy the 5D.


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## Skyhawk (Nov 18, 2007)

MaxBloom said:


> If photography is a true passion, and your husband won't support you in it, then you probably have more significant issues than just money.


Boy, isn't this the truth.

I always figured MY job as a husband was to support my wife's interests and do whatever it takes to help ensure her happiness and self-fulfilment. She has started several "hobbies" and never seen them through. Some were quite expensive--as in four-figure sewing machines, saddles/tack, blah blah. 

Bottom line is that I can't--and refuse--to put a price tag on my marriage and relationship. Seeing a spouse smile like it's Christmas morning is, as the credit card people put it, priceless.

Being a husband or wife is not a hobby, nor is being a mother or father. We all need something outside our daily grind to fulfill our mind's quests and our yearn to explore what else there is in the world.



Iron Flatline said:


> This is not unheard of. You're shifting attention to something that is "just yours" and you'll have to figure out a way to include him, or to make him comfortable with it.



Dead on, one hundred percent on the mark.

My wife has gotten involved in several of my hobbies shortly after I began including her in them. A couple of the "hobbies" turned into very beneficial activities for the both of us that quicly allowed us to expand our world. At first, she had no interest in flying, but I was a pilot when we met. Now she is my "first officer" and loves the idea that we can cut our travel time by better than two thirds because of "my hobby."

I taught her how to handle our boat. Again, she quickly fell in love with the idea of taking one of the dogs out with us and "exploring" various shorelines--and I get to take a camera along.

A good relationship entails that you and your spouse are best friends. And friends support each other's interests and endeavors. Friendships should not be over selfish issues, and for certain, marriages should not be.

I hope things work out for the two of you.

Jeff


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## RKW3 (Nov 18, 2007)

I'm lucky my dad and family are fine with my photography. One day I was just like, "dad, I want a camera. I have 50 dollars." Unfortunately 50 bucks wasn't even near enough but my dad paid for the rest. Haha.

Now my dad sees my pictures now and he's amazed so he wants to buy me a DSLR.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

so far my close ones sometimes swallowed hard or gasped, but in the end always said that it was my decision.

.. talking of photographic gear, cars and furniture here


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## Sideburns (Nov 18, 2007)

My girlfriend is an aspiring model.  The fact that her boyfriend wants to become a professional photographer does not "**** in her cereal" at all...
She loves it.
She made a mention about "Will you ever do naked photos?" and I said "semi nude for good money, maybe..."...she seemed happy with that answer.

Anyways...you need to look deeper than just photography...there's something wrong in your relationship and you guys should work on it.


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## Sideburns (Nov 18, 2007)

ahah I just realized she's probably gone..
Hopefully he didn't axe her when the camera came in the mail...


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## JIP (Nov 18, 2007)

I say we let this one die till the OP expresses some interest in seeing all the resposes.  In case anyone has not noticed the OP has 1 post and has disapeared since.


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## Alex_B (Nov 18, 2007)

but it seems to be an interesting thread for those posting.


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## Bevel Heaven (Nov 26, 2007)

here are some photos of myself doing what I used to do [it was more than a hobby <I was sponsored etc> but I think applies here...]















OK to keep things in perspective, I quit racing after 10 years of chasing championships etc, 7 years ago. I typically spent in 1 weekend what my 70-200 f2.8 VR cost......... assuming I didn;t crash or blow up an engine.

Now I just photograph other racers.... I am still in the motorcycle racing world, but there isn;t any risk on the backside of my camera. So my wife is kewl with me still going to the racetrack....

Everything is relative. I spent more than $30K preparing my GSX-R to race.... I spent maybe $5K on all my camera gear [I don;t even pay attention so I may be WAY under estimating]. My wife 'approves'.

I do find myself obsessing on all things photo [gear wise + how to improve my photography etc] and that is what I have to get a handle on. I have recently bought then sold 4 different lens and 2 different bodies... I have a hit-list of lens that I want still and constantly read reviews etc... THis is the stuff that bugs my wife. It takes away from "OUR TIME" and also takes away from time with my little girl. 

My advise is simple. For all things there must be a balance...... find it, step up to it gradually, and let those around you get their arms around it in their own due time... Let them see the benefits to it [a happier YOU, nice photos on the wall, etc etc]. Then there is a chance that everyone can be happy. We all need something that makes us happy, something seperate from our spouse/SO. The tricky thing is sometimes convincing them that our time doing that thing is a benefit to them too....


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## gmarquez (Dec 4, 2007)

Sorano said:


> playful fight with my husband teasing me about taking my camera everywhere...husband would never even take/look at a photo unless he had to...and even he, my husband, told me to just pick one and get it, rather than obsessing endlessly...it cost $550 he just went crazy and wouldn't talk to me...keep hanging up on me and not answer me...he dislikes photography and everything that's related to it...You really feel invalidated as a person when your loved one could care less about your hobby.



*Sigh*  It sounds to me that he actually HATES photography.  Have you talked to him about this?  I suspect that he feels that it is a silly and expensive hobby, and may be thinking to himself, "why would any rational person spend so much money on a useless toy?".  There may also be issues about the "types of people" he thinks become photographers (ie he might have very negative stereotypes about photographers, and those that enjoy photography).

In any case, it sounds like he may have an intense dislike for photography, and anything related to it.  This may sound a little harsh, but he may have wanted you to hurry up and get on with your purchase because the very act of sharing your decision making process was giving him pain, as in "I love my wife and want to support her, but I wish she'd stop talking about that silly photography stuff!"

As for the price (even though it was not his money), he may have been thinking "I can't believe she would spend $550 on such a silly hunk of junk!"  It may have been similar to how you might feel if he bought a wadded up piece of newspaper for $550.

This is all conjecture on my part, and I can't give you any solid advice, other than maybe find out why he may dislike photography so much.  Then go from there.  It may come down to you not sharing your excitement of photography with him, if it drives him crazy.  In that case, make up a budget that you both can live with, and try to share your love of photography with family and friends.  Eventually you may be able to get him to have a grudging admiration for your hobby, but maybe not.

Anyways, what do I know, I'm just going off of your post, so please take everything I've written with a big grain of salt.


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## YoungRebel (Dec 4, 2007)

Sorano said:


> What if I will want to get a new lens in the future?  What if I will want different accessories?  I wanted to be honest with him rather than just buy the thing and tell him it was $300, even though it wasn't his/our money but a present from my parents.  But with such a strong reaction it really makes me want to be less open in the future.  You would think that since you are doing the right thing by telling the truth, everything should be fine?



Just tell him the "truth" next time....

BUT keep this in mind:

_There is truth in every lie _


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## JerryPH (Dec 4, 2007)

Considering the fact that the OP never posted more than once on this board, I think we can assume that her husband disapproved of one more thing in her... posting on the net.

How sad that some people have to be control freaks to the detriment of the quality of life of another human being.


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## JayJay65 (Dec 5, 2007)

Stay true to how you feel.. Dont let him change it because of how he feels.. Im 17, I get extremely good grades in school, i nearly am good at everything i do, but i cant stick with it.. Photography, ahh.. so much room to improve, and im not perfect at it, its something that takes me through my life.. Its like my way of being life successful and still the same enjoyment as that of video games.. Its a life long happyness.. If you feel the same way, dont let him change that.. Stay true to what you love.. Plus, who said you need his permission to like photography?


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## JIP (Dec 5, 2007)

God please can we just let this one die???? The OP posted this in October and has not had one post since.  She was obviously a troll or did not care so just let it go please!!!.


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## snra786 (Dec 5, 2007)

I told my significant other, that my website and photography are my "little babies", she seemed to understand a little better once I put it like that. It's hard when other people don't realize the passion that photographers have for their "hobby".


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## usayit (Dec 6, 2007)

After reading through this thread... I feel so freakin lucky that my wife has rarely prevented me from enjoying things that I enjoy....  I have dozens of interests/hobbies that I juggle and most cost $.  

Hell..  she's been extremely understanding with my rather large spending habits in photography...  She always said that she doesn't mind as long as the bills are paid and food is on the table (and I work extra to keep up).


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## JIP (Dec 6, 2007)

PLeeeeeeezze let it go!!!!!!!
 Can't some admin lock it????


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## BAB (Dec 6, 2007)

Seems like there are more issues here than photography.  A relationship should not be about control and there should be mutual respect, not just for each other as people, but for each others needs and passions.  Your passion for photogrpahy should not be a problem in the relationship, assuming it is not a financial drain on the family budget or is in someway insensitive or inappropriate to the relationship.  The fact that your husband dislikes photography is irrelevant, that is his choice and he has that right, as you have the right to a hobby or potential career path.  It can be good for a relationship to not only have common or shared interests, but different ones as well.


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## den9 (Dec 9, 2007)

its a sad world, i feel bad for someone like that


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## Lorielle99 (Dec 10, 2007)

kick em to the curb! if he loved you he would support you no matter what your hobby is


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## Mike_E (Dec 10, 2007)

If you want to talk about this subject, please start a new thread.

The OP only posted ONCE and doesn't appear to be coming back.  She is not listening (reading).


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