# Your Daily Advice



## Kazooie

If you get a PM, letter, email, IM, or picture from someone named 'Moe Lester', it's best no to open, view, or gaze at it.


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## MLeeK

OK. 
Care to share the dirt? Why?


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## Overread

If a user is abusing the PM system on the forums you can report PMs just like posts in the forum for the mods to deal with. If you don't report the PMs we won't see them and won't be able to act.


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## Derrel

MLeeK said:


> OK.
> Care to share the dirt? Why?



Not sure if you "get it" or not..."moe lester"...ya know????


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## Parker219

If you are 99% sure it is a fart....better think about IF it is that 1%, and how that might effect your day...


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## Kazooie

Get a joke!


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## Kazooie

If you see a penny on the ground, don't pick it up. It could be a trap!


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## Kazooie

Don't pretend to be someone else: chances are the person you're pretending to be is uglier than the real you.


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## Kazooie

Be grateful when someone critiques you. When you screw up and people see but don't comment, it means they gave up.


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## Kazooie

Gluing CD's onto your naked body will not make your 70's themed party any more authentic. It might get you arrested, actually.


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## JoshuaSimPhotography

Kazooie said:
			
		

> Don't pretend to be someone else: chances are the person you're pretending to be is uglier than the real you.



Exactly! Be proud of who you are! But that's kinda contradictory, considering you wanna lose so much weight


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## Kazooie

Others opinions are valuable, but staying true to what you believe in is even better.


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## unpopular

UPS deliveries will come when you step away from home, no matter how brief.


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## Kazooie

A day forgotten is a day wasted.


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## unpopular

a day wasted is a day forgotten.


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## Kazooie

The true bottom of the cliff sits in a crevice that you can never hit.


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## Kazooie

Avoid any situation involving two people that like you, but not each other. At all cost.


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## Kazooie

Waste not, want not. Therefore you should waste a lot so you will always want something!


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## Kazooie

Debt is never a good thing, especially if the Repo Man is involved.


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## Kazooie

Even if you cover yourself with pudding, you will never reach your dream of being a dessert.


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## unpopular

advice is best sought alone.


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## Kazooie

Even if you have no friends, are you truly foreveralone.jpeg?


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## rexbobcat

Facebook is for funny pictures, not pseudo-philosophy.


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## unpopular

there is nothing anyone can do that is honest.


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## Kazooie

Even if you forget yesterday, there is still today and tomarrow.


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## unpopular

There is still today and tomorrow, unless you're already dead.


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## Kazooie

Something dirty is just hiding it's cleanliness from you.


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## Kazooie

Take initiative at least once a day and you will go leaps and bounds.


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## Derrel

Do not eat yellow snow.


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## Steve5D

Never eat anything bigger than your head...


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## semicolon

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.


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## Kazooie

Love your family, they might be take a bunch of pills and end in a mental hospital for the next four weeks because of it.


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## molested_cow

.


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## Kazooie

Being a man is a matter of age, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.


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## Kazooie

No one can claim your butt. It is yours and yours alone. But you *can* rent it out to people who have no butts.


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## Kazooie

And also, everyone needs some fun every now and then:
http://www.google.no/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&ved=0CDUQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthekickback.com%2Frickroll%2Frickroll.php&ei=RAGBUOTVFuL-4QTl2YHADw&usg=AFQjCNFp3FUv-hA1_0TNtKo1vwlbiDCgqg&sig2=nDjuzV2Egae0Nhr5glKsoQ


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## Kazooie

Don't associate Australians with New Zealands.


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## Kazooie

It really does take a monkey to do a monkey's job.


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## kundalini




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## kundalini

Derrel said:


> Do not eat yellow snow.



FZ


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## Kazooie

Electricity can and will hurt you.


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## Tuffythepug

If you see a table set up in front of the grocery store with cute little  girls selling Girl Scout Cookies don't ask them if they are made out of real girl scouts:   They may be cute but they do not have a sense of humor


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## Kazooie

Forgetting your underwear can open doors to worlds you didn't even know existed before.


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## Kazooie

Go out and make friends. Having the right connections can help tremendously.


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## swiftparkour94

Kazooie said:
			
		

> Go out and make friends. Having the right connections can help tremendously.



+1

Shoot all day at a popular tourists place with a ton of your gear (and actually use it, don't just show off) for 12 straight hours and hope people come up to you and offer you a job (I found this out myself unexpectedly). Happened to me 3 times one day in Oceanside CA, and one of them was the owner of the beach condos wanting some interior room shots. Too bad I was just on vacation, cannot wait to move there


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## Kazooie

Names don't make you. Otherwise Karen Horney...


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## 2WheelPhoto

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have         never loved at all."
_-St. Augustine_


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## Kazooie

Heavy metals in your paint doesn't mean you'll sink faster. Just means you'll die faster.


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## Kazooie

When you come to a fork in the road, and neither looks very promising. Backlog and take that side path that you did consider before.


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## Kazooie

Parties are fun, and sex can be fun. Not everything should be combined because it might be better.


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## Kazooie

A lite candle can do wonders for nerves.


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## Kazooie

You can adjust your fingering when playing a out-of-tune string, just like how you can adjust your actions when living a out-of-tune life.


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## Kazooie

It is all about glitter. If you need to fill space on a poster, glitter. If you need to accent a lamp, glitter. If you need to fend of a vicious old lady, glitter.


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## Tuffythepug

"Ignorance is Bliss"   from a Thomas Gray poem;     seems somewhat appropriate in this instance


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## sm4him

Tuffythepug said:


> "Ignorance is Bliss"   from a Thomas Gray poem;     seems somewhat appropriate in this instance



My best daily advice in this instance:

"How can I help you if you won't even help yourselves?" --Mork, from the Mork & Mindy show
Okay, he was talking to the eggs, but still...


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## unpopular

^^^ It sure would be nice to use that excuse with my toddler. But unfortunately compassion and love never come with conditions.


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## sm4him

unpopular said:


> ^^^ It sure would be nice to use that excuse with my toddler. But unfortunately *compassion and love never come with conditions*.



:scratch: True enough. But "help" does. I can be unconditionally compassionate and loving and still utterly unable to HELP someone who won't accept help.


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## SCraig

Kazooie said:


> You can adjust your fingering when playing a out-of-tune string, just like how you can adjust your actions when living a out-of-tune life.



Some people should occasionally read their own posts.
 -Me


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## Tuffythepug

SCraig said:


> Kazooie said:
> 
> 
> 
> You can adjust your fingering when playing a out-of-tune string, just like how you can adjust your actions when living a out-of-tune life.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Some people should occasionally read their own posts.
> -Me
Click to expand...



Touche'.      may be time for a whole new set of strings


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## unpopular

sm4him said:


> unpopular said:
> 
> 
> 
> ^^^ It sure would be nice to use that excuse with my toddler. But unfortunately *compassion and love never come with conditions*.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :scratch: True enough. But "help" does. I can be unconditionally compassionate and loving and still utterly unable to HELP someone who won't accept help.
Click to expand...


You can accept help without being able to help yourself, and you can help others who are unable to help themselves. My kid is a perfect example. Because he has some developmental and cognitive disabilities, it's pretty impossible for him to follow directions. He can't "help me help him" in any way to get ready for the day, even though he might want to go to the park, to school, or whatever. Yeah. It's frustrating, but I still am *able* to help him get dressed and stay focused, even if he is unable to really "do his part".

We all have our shortcomings, and just because we assume someone is capable of doing something doesn't mean that they are. I hear this "I can't help you unless you help yourself" often by organizations which genuinely want to help the homeless. They use this to place the blame of their limited resources onto the people they are trying to help, as a means to justify not being able to help everyone - and often times they truly can't. But if resources were infinite, wouldn't these organizations not to house and feed everyone no matter how futile the effort of rehabilitating a good portion into so-called 'productive' members of society? I'd like to hope so.

Of course sometimes help does more harm than good, but I think that's a different issue than not being able to help someone - in fact, I'd say such approaches are not "helping" at all. 

But so long as you love someone, you can always help them - even if their is no chance that that person will ever be able to help themselves.


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## Kazooie

It takes a man to acknowledge his faults, but a bigger one to remedy them.


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## sm4him

unpopular said:


> sm4him said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> unpopular said:
> 
> 
> 
> ^^^ It sure would be nice to use that excuse with my toddler. But unfortunately *compassion and love never come with conditions*.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :scratch: True enough. But "help" does. I can be unconditionally compassionate and loving and still utterly unable to HELP someone who won't accept help.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> You can accept help without being able to help yourself, and you can help others who are unable to help themselves. My kid is a perfect example. Because he has some developmental and cognitive disabilities, it's pretty impossible for him to follow directions. He can't "help me help him" in any way to get ready for the day, even though he might want to go to the park, to school, or whatever. Yeah. It's frustrating, but I still am *able* to help him get dressed and stay focused, even if he is unable to really "do his part".
> 
> We all have our shortcomings, and just because we assume someone is capable of doing something doesn't mean that they are. I hear this "I can't help you unless you help yourself" often by organizations which genuinely want to help the homeless. They use this to place the blame of their limited resources onto the people they are trying to help, as a means to justify not being able to help everyone - and often times they truly can't. But if resources were infinite, wouldn't these organizations not to house and feed everyone no matter how futile the effort of rehabilitating a good portion into so-called 'productive' members of society? I'd like to hope so.
> 
> Of course sometimes help does more harm than good, but I think that's a different issue than not being able to help someone - in fact, I'd say such approaches are not "helping" at all.
> 
> But so long as you love someone, you can always help them - even if their is no chance that that person will ever be able to help themselves.
Click to expand...


First, let's be clear:

The Mork quote I used was, as I stated originally, specifically appropriate *in this instance* and was not meant as my broad statement of how "help" can, or should, work. Not to mention it was just a lighthearted attempt to humorously remind the OP that my opinions still stand.

I'm not sure I can respond adequately to the rest of your thoughts without writing a treatise, and I don't intend to do that here, but I will make a few comments about it:
1. I think we probably largely agree about the "ideal" way to "help" those who need it.

2. Problem is, resources are NOT infinite, and they never will be. Right, wrong or indifferent, it just is what it is, and organizations MUST work within some parameters that are almost ALWAYS far more limited than they'd like.  I've worked with trouble/"problem" teens from time to time (though not in any "official" capacity), and I also work with a local organization that tries to help women in some desperate circumstances get the help they truly need--not just a hand out.  It is incredibly frustrating to not have the resources--financial, manpower, expertise, etc--to truly HELP everyone who needs it. But it's a fact of life.  

3. I think that SOMETIMES "I can't help you if you won't help yourself" IS appropriate. You're right, there are many, MANY instances where it is APPLIED but NOT appropriate--mental illness, developmental issues, SOME (probably many) of the homeless.  But you know, I've seen people who COULD help themselves refuse to do it. Heck, I've BEEN one of those people--I suffered most of my adult life with bouts of severe clinical depression; others would try to urge me to get counseling, to seek help, to get on medication. But none of that had any effect until *I* decided to seek the help I needed.
I've worked with some women, who NEED the help, and are offered the help--help to truly get their life to a better place--but they REFUSE it. There are a myriad of perfectly *valid* (to them, where they are at the time) reasons to refuse the help--usually, they believe there are going to be "strings" attached, or they simply no longer have even an ounce of hope that they can change, so they aren't willing to work at change. It's sad--devastating--and it breaks my heart--but no, *I* cannot HELP that person, except to let them REFUSE the help and hope and pray that they are still alive when they come to the point where they ARE willing to accept the help.

I could go on more about that, but I'm trying to draw this to a conclusion and put this thread back on its track.

The point is, I guess, that I was referring to only THIS specific instance here--although granted, even here I don't really KNOW how "able" the individual in question is to "help" themselves by getting help. I can guarantee you that if it were MY kid, they would GET the help they need.  

But it's NOT my kid, and honestly, I'm NOT perfect (big shock!!) and my love and concern falls FAR short of unconditional. For my kids, yeah, it's unconditional. For my youth kids at church, and my ladies in the Hand Up program, it's unconditional.
But for perfect strangers I come across on the internet--I gotta admit, I fall short.

And so, perhaps instead of "I can't help you if you won't help yourself" my response would more precisely be that SOMETIMES I *won't* help you if you won't help yourself--if I believe that you DO have the ability to help yourself.  It's MY help, and I DO have very limited resources (time AND money) so I guess I get to be the judge of who gets it.


So I guess I wrote a treatise anyway. A very short one.


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## Kazooie

You can write a book, but you can't always get someone to read it.


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## Kazooie

One is not late, but just behind on the times.


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## Tuffythepug

2WheelPhoto said:


> "Better to have loved and lost, than to have         never loved at all."
> _-St. Augustine_



My old granddad had a twist on this one.   he used to say "It's better to have loved a short girl than never to have loved a tall"


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## unpopular

^^ i've always had a midget fascination. there's a really sexy one working at McDonalds....


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## Kazooie

Some people just have weird fetishes, and you will never be able to fix them. Donkeys included.


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## pixmedic

Kazooie said:


> Some people just have weird fetishes, and you will never be able to fix them. Donkeys included.



pot...kettle...anyone?  :mrgreen:

s'cool man, ive seen it all. done most of it. some of it twice.


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## unpopular

^^ cake farts?


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## pixmedic

unpopular said:


> ^^ cake farts?



i said I tried "most"....not "all"


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## unpopular

lmao.


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## rexbobcat

B*****s ain't s**t but hoes and tricks.

Real talk.


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## rexbobcat

You don't choose the thug life. The thug life chooses you.


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## rexbobcat

If you can't twerk it, you can't work it.


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## o hey tyler

To the window, to the wall. Until the sweat drips down my balls. - the twins of yin and yang

Fo' fo's I'm tippin', wood grain I'm grippin'. - Michael Jones

Hey hey, hey hey. Smoke weed every day. - Tyrone 

There's a lot to learn from modern rap music.


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## rexbobcat

o hey tyler said:
			
		

> To the window, to the wall. Until the sweat drips down my balls. - the twins of yin and yang
> 
> Fo' fo's I'm tippin', wood grain I'm grippin'. - Michael Jones
> 
> Hey hey, hey hey. Smoke weed every day. - Tyrone
> 
> There's a lot to learn from modern rap music.



I&rsquo;ve been hustling like eryday doin time on my grind tryin make a pay


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## o hey tyler

rexbobcat said:
			
		

> I&rsquo;ve been hustling like eryday doin time on my grind tryin make a pay



Once upon a time there was a crazy mother****er named ice cube, in a gang or collective known as "angry black folk." He has since them changed careers and become a successful actor. You can do anything you put your mind to.


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## rexbobcat

o hey tyler said:
			
		

> Once upon a time there was a crazy mother****er named ice cube, in a gang or collective known as "angry black folk." He has since them changed careers and become a successful actor. You can do anything you put your mind to.



And it was a good day.


On second thought...


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## o hey tyler

I didn't have to use my AK.


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## rexbobcat

o hey tyler said:
			
		

> I didn't have to use my AK.



Tell shawty come here, she got plenty a**.

Yeah, I love them strippers.


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## Kazooie

Some stuff will never make sense, and you shouldn't even bother trying to read it.


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## unpopular

the stuff that never makes sense is the stuff you should be reading.


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## Kazooie

A test a day will keep the mind at bay!


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## Kazooie

You can wear a bald cap _and_ a wig if you really want to.


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## Kazooie

Some people think they know best, and some people are clearly idiotic. You choose who is who.


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## Kazooie

Life is but a big impromptu musical without all the music and great plots.


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## Kazooie

A face of plaster means a face of stone.


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## Kazooie

Headaches are just natures way of telling you to go to bed.


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## Kazooie

Don't take zydrate, an addiction would suck!


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## Kazooie

You don't have to settle for one big serving of something. How about go for two smaller servings?


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## Kazooie

A good troll is better than no troll.


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## unpopular

If trying to convince a toddler to take a bath, don't remove his clothing, then put on a funk album. The bath won't happen. But there will be dancing.


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## pixmedic




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## Kazooie

I'm not 3 days late, I'm just a time traveler and you should never expect things on time.


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## Kazooie

Sleep is great and makes you feel good.


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## runnah

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on...unless that is your thing, but hey I don't judge.


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## rexbobcat

runnah said:
			
		

> It's better to be pissed off than pissed on...unless that is your thing, but hey I don't judge.



Like R. Kelly's dream date.


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## Kazooie

Uric acid, commonly extracted from cow urine, is often found in shampoos. So to get clean, one must lather up with some cow piss.


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## Kazooie

Somewhere, over a rainbow, blue birds really do fly. Because birds fly in the sky and chances are that somewhere in the world there are blue birds and rainbows in the same sky.


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## Kazooie

Poke a man in the eye and he'll be blind for a day. Cut off his head and he won't ever bother you again.


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## Kazooie

Even the greatest singers can accidentally look like they are taking a dump if they don't raise their eyebrows.


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## Kazooie

Everybody loves kung-foo fi-

No. Not everyone loves kung-foo fighting.


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## Kazooie

Don't lock your children in cages, they will grow up to hate you!


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## unpopular

^^^ huh.


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## Kazooie

Misunderstood advice is misplaced advice.


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## unpopular

never mistake the sentimental for the wise.


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## pixmedic

never give the prostitute the money first.


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## rexbobcat

pixmedic said:


> never give the prostitute the money first.



Also think twice before giving that transvestite a ride....Eddie Murphy...


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## Kazooie

Eating a rare filet mignon does not make you a vampire. Just a manly man.


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## Kazooie

Look hard enough and eventually you can find someone who loves even the worst things about you.


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## Kazooie

Free stuff found illegally is both illegal and not free.


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## Kazooie

Censorship ain't cool no matter who does it.


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## Kazooie

Be wary, for in every package lies socks.


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## Kazooie

Rejoice, for even with thousands of miles between us, we can talk.


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## Kazooie

Letting a dog relieve it's bladder on your feet does not do wonders for anything. Except to keep people away, then it does.


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## unpopular

always take advice from a fifteen year old with a grain of salt, chances are the advice given if for the benefit of the youth who is giving it.


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## Rob99

When you're laughing about something you saw and your girlfriend asks "what's so funny?" and you tell her, then she says "that's not that funny."............I can now assure you, "that's because you're stupid." is not the proper response.


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## Kazooie

Picking your nose in public is a safe alternative to blowing it in public.


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## unpopular

^^whoa.


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## Kazooie

"Freedom of speech is the ability to yell 'Theater' in a crowded fire." -Anonymous Yippie


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## Kazooie

One mans gold is another mans metal.


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## Kazooie

A conductor is but a man waving his hands at you hoping you'll play as he sees correctly.


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## Kazooie

Making fun of peoples ideologies can and will make them not like you.


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## runnah

Kazooie said:


> Making fun of peoples ideologies can and will make them not like you.



It's such good fun...


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## Kazooie

What is enjoyment but a state of mind? Change your mind and you will change your life.


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## Kazooie

Baking 20 dozen cookies is tiring. Even if it is for a good cause.


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## Kazooie

A song a day keeps the mind at bay.


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## AgentDrex

Keep your chin up.

*my grandma's (RIP 2009) very valuable words that lead me through my long period of homelessness and carries me through to this very day and beyond.


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## AgentDrex

Drex's Golden Rule: Do on to others as they would have done on to themselves.

*it's as not self-centric as the normal "Golden Rule" which makes you think what you would want instead of what they would want.


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## AgentDrex

Kill your enemies with true kindness...


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## AgentDrex

Be your own tree.  A tree that leans on another tree will also fall when the other tree falls but a tree that stands strong on its own will weather longer the strongest of winds.  However, do not be a strong tree all alone, surround yourself with other strong trees and all will persevere.


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## AgentDrex

Help your neighbors to the left and to the right, whether rich or poor and without expectation of a reward.


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## gsgary

Now it is getting snowy, dont eat yellow snow


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## AgentDrex

Listen to Frank Zappa at least once a week:


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## Kazooie

Give a man some wood and he'll be warm for a day-teach a man to chop wood and you can open up a tree farm with indentured labor.


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## Tuffythepug

Quit while you're ahead.    (hint, hint)


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## Kazooie

What is success without some unavoidable failures on the way?


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## Kazooie

Thou not have knowledge of untruthful Ye Olde English to comprihendo what I am saying. Yo.


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## Kazooie

Walk a day in a mans shoes to understand his life-conduct with his baton for an hour to understand how hard it is to conduct a orchestra.


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## unpopular

if a focal length has no purpose, then you don't know how to use it.


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## Bitter Jeweler

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a night.
Set a man on fire he'll be warm for the rest of his life.


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## Kazooie

Teach a man to swim and he'll go to the Olympics,
throw him in the water and then no creeps can set him on fire!


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## Kazooie

Be a poor man indeed who doesn't have gloves to warm his hands. Don't hire him to rub your back, his hands are still cold.


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## Kazooie

Take a cookie, give a cookie, stay healthy.

Diabetis.


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## Tuffythepug

I keep clicking on "last page" only to find out, sadly, that it never is.


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## camz

Confucius say "Man who sleep with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger"


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## Kazooie

Take every advice and saying with a grain of salt and a stinky finger.


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## Kazooie

Tired of all these 'end of the world' jokes? Don't worry, it'll all end soo


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## Kazooie

Sing out-there will always be worse people and you may surprise yourself.


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## Animonster

MLeeK said:


> OK.
> Care to share the dirt? Why?



I laughed pretty hard at this and then questioned whether or not the whole thread was a joke for a few minutes...

Hilarious


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## Kazooie

Office supplies and furniture never make good gifts for your kids.


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## Kazooie

Live in an elephant, forget the world.


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## Kazooie

Grandstands are for standing grandly; subtleseats are for subtly sitting down.


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## Kazooie

Hand underneath the night sky, for it has seen the world.


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## Kazooie

Repetitions are the key to keeping a rut.


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## Kazooie

Sparkling cider and fireworks do not mean a ticket to getting laid.


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## Compaq

- Can a man be brave when he's afraid?
- That is the only time a man can be brave.


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## Kazooie

You can always trust ads on the internet. ALWAYS. That beautiful Zimbabwean princess who wants you to marry her is definitely trust-able.


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## o hey tyler

Kazooie said:
			
		

> You can always trust ads on the internet. ALWAYS. That beautiful Zimbabwean princess who wants you to marry her is definitely trust-able.



Trustworthy? Isn't that what you mean?

Brb palming my face.


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## Kazooie

One mans mistake is another person's humor.


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## Kazooie

Gyms are for gyming, theaters are for thaatering.


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## unpopular

^^ When my dad first met my mom, who is blind - dog and all - he had a bad habit of telling helen keller jokes. She recalled writing in her journal "this guy is kind of a jerk!"


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## unpopular

queen_gee said:


> Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.



LOL - what happened to the blind date thing??


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## unpopular

lol. I think your blind date advise was the least offensive!


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## Kazooie

Forgotten advice is not known advice.


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## unpopular

And the first mouse as well.


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## Kazooie

Size is but a way for women to choose who they want, and men to choose who they don't.


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## Kazooie

Oil is the heavenly invention destined to be rubbed all over the back of a big hairy man on a beech in your imagination.


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## ratssass

..give a man a fish,he will eat for a day.Teach a man to fish,and you'll be able to sell him bait.


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## Kazooie

Sleep is ambrosial to the sleepless.


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## Kazooie

Skip the date and go in with the rufies.


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## EIngerson

If you're just going to make excuses, don't post your photos for C$C.


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## Kazooie

Sleep is magic and will make you feel good.


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## unpopular

That's almost as bad the my wife's coworker who she blew the whistle on. When asked to attend a thursday meeting on tuesday to discuss the accusations, she couldn't because "her cat died".


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## Kazooie

Idle chatter is the gateway to being violated.


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## Kazooie

Humor is key to sweetening a sour fist.


----------



## Kazooie

Accidentals can change the tone of a chord entirely, for the better or for the worst.


----------



## Kazooie

A lost mind is a gained friendship.


----------



## Kazooie

A puddle of warm human feces is better than any alarm clock in the world at waking you up.


----------



## Kazooie

Live life today, for tomarrow is exactly that: tomarrow.


----------



## pixmedic

Kazooie said:


> Live life today, for tomarrow is exactly that: tomarrow.



Actually.... "tomarrow"  is "tomorrow" 

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## .SimO.

Daily advice of life lessons and words to live by on the TPF are a crock of ****.   -George Washington


----------



## Kazooie

Words were invented by one, and will die by another.


----------



## Kazooie

Why do tomarrow what can be done yesterday, and what will change everything.


----------



## o hey tyler

Kazooie said:
			
		

> Why do tomarrow what can be done yesterday, and what will change everything.



Again... Tomorrow. Not tomarrow.

Here's daily advice: There's no [bone] marrow, tomorrow. 

Morrow =/= marrow


----------



## .SimO.

"Piercing ones skin from boredom, shall be judged." - 2Pac


----------



## Kazooie

Youth will overtake the elderly, for that is the way of life?


----------



## Kazooie

The difference between an A and an Ab is frequency and color, like the difference between a C# and a Db. Or not.


----------



## Kazooie

When put to it, one can do amazing things.


----------



## Kazooie

One can not expect pupils to learn if the instructor has not taught. Maybe.


----------



## Kazooie

Waiting leads to boredom and cysts.


----------



## oldhippy

Don,t smoke horny goat weed. It does neither


----------



## Kazooie

To be vague, say you live not in a specific town, but on the planet earth.


----------



## Kazooie

Programs are slow to install, but fast to use.


----------



## Kazooie

Rap is the crap of a marathons lap.


----------



## Kazooie

People are annoying and need to die.


----------



## jamievelandra

Hummmm...


----------



## Kazooie

Yellow and orange birds float in the same boat.


----------



## Kazooie

Even those of the thug-life can mistakenly skip school.


----------



## Kazooie

Sleep is needed and wanted by the masses.


----------



## Kazooie

Turtle hermits are always perverts, not matter what you think.


----------



## Kazooie

The conductor is missing and no one can replace.


----------



## Kazooie

Reproductions are the basis of history.


----------



## oldhippy

The biological urge supersedes the intellectual capability to provide sustenance. Melthus


----------



## Kazooie

Losing glasses means losing all hope for life.


----------



## Kazooie

Post-dessert jitters are the worst.


----------



## Kazooie

To build a wall, first you must make a plan.


----------



## Kazooie

Sanitation is the first line of defense against worms.


----------



## EIngerson

No matter where you go, there you are.


----------



## Kazooie

Desperation, indeed, leads to perspiration on seed.


----------



## Kazooie

Grease is the epicenter of the thigh.


----------



## Kazooie

Gargling the *cream* is good for the *teeth*.


----------



## oldhippy

Birds of a feather, flock each other


----------



## pixmedic

its hip to be square


----------



## Kazooie

Ubernisms can be used as excuses.


----------



## Kazooie

Sleep is the cure for nothing but tiredness.


----------



## sunglassguy

I have a sony alpha a330  and im taking pictures of sunglasses.  I need some advice from an expert please.  I need to know what kind of lighting and box to get.  I was looking and Im trying to get my images to look like the styles on olympiceyewear  website.  Its tricky cause usually there is a mirror on the lens but I will have them at a slight angle.   I need advice on how and what to buy to get the VERY best look..   Also with my camera whats the best setting, does anyone know??  Please PM me with any advice that would be AMAZING.  Thanks everyone, love the forum!


----------



## oldhippy

Where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise


----------



## Kazooie

Failure to comply means failure to survi(ve).


----------



## Kazooie

A conducting baton can do more than conduct.


----------



## Kazooie

To churn butter takes more time than previously thought.


----------



## Pukka312

"no dog ever peed on a moving car" -Dr Phil


----------



## Kazooie

"no car peed on a moving dog" -no one ever


----------



## Kazooie

At least someone mourns someone unpleasant.


----------



## Kazooie

The chunks in yogurt just means you got a fresh one.


----------



## pixmedic

Or it's curdled


----------



## Kazooie

Said yogurt belongs in r/popping


----------



## Kazooie

Enriched brine is probably not enriched for you.


----------



## Dominantly

&#8220;Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.&#8221;

Suess


----------



## Kazooie

Tea is the lifeblood of health.


----------



## Pukka312

If you want to freak out your neighbors, name your wifi "FBI surveillance van"


----------



## Kazooie

The proof is in the liar.


----------



## Kazooie

Pigs are men, therfor pig is disgusting.


----------



## CoBilly

Don't forget to put pants on in the morning


----------



## Kazooie

Disappointment is the path of life.


----------



## Photographiend

If  you let the 5 year old help with packing lunches, you had better double  check the contents or you might just end up with a beer as your  beverage.


----------



## Photographiend

Lifting furniture + a pet cat = Disaster


----------



## Photographiend

"The Burning Ring of Fire", the aftermath of a spicy indulgence.


----------



## Photographiend

Sometimes humbling ones self is realizing that when it comes to some things Monkies are still smarter.


----------



## Photographiend

Something I learned from my 5 year old : A cat's tail can not be used as a stylus.


----------



## Photographiend

When you see your wife struggling with a lid, I do not advise responding with "Would you like some help wimp lady?"at the off change you may find yourself later trying to saw the lid off that very container.


----------



## techniker

Photographiend said:


> If  you let the 5 year old help with packing lunches, you had better double  check the contents or you might just end up with a beer as your  beverage.



Sounds like they are learning right.


----------



## Kazooie

1 in 10 people don't believe you.


----------



## Kazooie

A cup of tea makes some pea!


----------



## Kazooie

A change in attire should not be attributed to social expectations.


----------



## Photographiend

Kazooie said:


> 1 in 10 people don't believe you.



Me thinks your ratio is a little off.


----------



## Photographiend

When you realize your bar soap is slipperier than usual, trying to tighten your grip will only result in launching it across the shower where it may just bounce off the far wall, out through a gap in the curtain and onto the bathroom floor. 

Ninja Soap : 1 ,  Photographiend : 0


----------



## Kazooie

Don't drop the soap.


----------



## Kazooie

Chai with whipped cream is a moral crime, and splatters everywhere.


----------



## TATTRAT

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.


----------



## Kazooie

Water stops puffiness of the face.


----------



## Photographiend

If your wife is enjoying an egg salad sandwich and comes across something hard, don't suggest it is a beak...


----------



## Kazooie

Bowties and white shirts will not make you able to pass off as a Churchie.


----------



## Kazooie

To put off on work is to put off on fun. 


Right?


----------



## Photographiend

"Never have more children than you have arms to grab them with." A previous co-worker


----------



## Kazooie

"Never have more arms then your children grab?"-Photagropheind


----------



## Photographiend

Sometimes all you can do is *smile and nod*.


----------



## Kazooie

Time is but a creation of mankind to waste away the hours of day.


----------



## Kazooie

Glass means they can see you too.


----------



## Kazooie

Milk frothers do not work with tea.


----------



## Kazooie

Censorship means jokes are misunderstood!


----------



## Kazooie

Bombs make the world go 'round.


----------



## Compaq

"Every family is a dictatorship, ruled by its sickest member."


----------



## Kazooie

Creepy sounding men on the internet can give great advice!


----------



## Kazooie

Charlies brother is Chuck, and they both deal in Asian food.


----------



## Kazooie

Dilemmas mean choosing!


----------



## Kazooie

What you want is not always what you get.


----------



## o hey tyler

Kazooie said:


> What you want is not always what you get.



It's interesting you say that. Last night I was not expecting to get what I wanted, but I did.


----------



## Corir

No need to listen to anyone.... until and unless you aren't sure about your decision.....!!!!


----------



## Kazooie

Even unsure decisions can be better then others suggestions!


----------



## Kazooie

A day spent with jazz, death, and life is a day not wasted!

4, on the other hand...


----------



## Kazooie

Rhythms are just as hard as you think they'll be.


----------



## Tiller

Kazooie said:


> Rhythms are just as hard as you think they'll be.



Rhythm is easy. Lead is hard.


----------



## gateeway

Aging may cause backache.To avoid  backache specially when you are getting older use better quality foam mattress instead of any other low quality mattress.As health is wealth.


----------



## gateeway

Health is wealth.


----------



## Kazooie

The moment you need a good WiFi connection, it won't be there.


----------



## Kazooie

People unknown are not freinds.


----------



## Kazooie

And time well spent is time not wasted.


----------



## Kazooie

Suede shoes are both cool and a pain.


----------



## Kazooie

Likewise, red pants wont fit.


----------



## Kazooie

Some people will buy anything.


----------



## Kazooie

And some people will go anywhere?


----------



## Brayanad

Dear MUSIC , thanks for being there when no one seems to care


----------



## EIngerson

If you go to bed with an itchy bum, you'll wake up with a stinky finger.


----------



## Kazooie

A cold the day before a concert means anger?


----------



## Kazooie

Wash your hands!


----------



## Kazooie

An amazing concert is better then any drug.


----------



## Kazooie

Chips will oil it all out?


----------



## EIngerson

No matter where you go, there you are.


----------



## Kazooie

Trans-physical experiences break all the rules.


----------



## Kazooie

Daily can always become less.


----------



## Kazooie

Trigonometry is not fun.


----------



## Kazooie

Likewise, history can be.


----------



## Kazooie

And music is always.


----------



## MartinCrabtree

Never eat anything larger than your head.


----------



## Kazooie

Coffee concentrate is best with milk and sugar?


----------



## Kazooie

Subtle hints are best forgotten.


----------



## Kazooie

Killer grannies are great for karma.


----------



## Photographiend

According to my 5 year old: "Mosquitoes can give you a confection."


----------



## Kazooie

Sugary bugs will rot your teeth!


----------



## Kazooie

And puppies from out of state are cool.


----------



## Kazooie

Trips away mean that you are going to be gone?


----------



## Kazooie

Caramel glazed corn puffs are both fattening and delicious.


----------



## Kazooie

As is pizza with cream cheese on it.


----------



## Kazooie

It's not your mic, it's you. You really do suck.


----------



## Kazooie

Tea will wash away the violations from a strip-tease?


----------



## esselle

There are no rewind buttons in life.


----------



## IByte

All truth can be found through physics.


----------



## IByte

Sometimes people like their cucumbers pickled.


----------



## IByte

...ice cream is good ANYTIME.


----------



## esselle

only if it's haagen dazs


----------



## cgipson1

He who takes advice from a fool, is a bigger fool!


----------



## Kazooie

Size can make all the difference?


----------



## esselle

I'm thinking purgatory will be a calendar of only Mondays. :/


----------



## Kazooie

Some places are just so-so.


----------



## Kazooie

When people say the same thing over and over, it means they don't read.


----------



## esselle

Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet, is fighting some kind of battle.


----------



## Kazooie

Destroying is all the battle.


----------



## Kazooie

As is losing, if you want too.


----------



## Kazooie

Always look on the less worse side of life?


----------



## Kazooie

The mosquitos will eat you alive if you go out alone.


----------



## Kazooie

Taffy is good for the soul!


----------



## pic_chick

happiness is the side effect of self love


----------



## esselle

True dat^^

And without self love, you won't be able to love another.


----------



## Kazooie

The sun is painful and warm.


----------



## Kazooie

If you wait it out, the other guy will eventually die?


----------



## Kazooie

And you can get lessons on everything. Even on the female reproduction system from an elderly lady on a chatroom.


----------



## Kazooie

Some people can't be trusted to warn you about the scary parts in a movie.


----------



## Kazooie

Fried rice isn't the kind of fried you really want.


----------



## esselle

Love your neighbor as yourself. 'Winning' an argument, but hurting another in the process...is not worth it, in the end.

Just sharing; thought this was good...

*The power of kindness

*_It&#8217;s easy, and very powerful, to be kind and courteous to those who are kind and courteous to you. Yet to experience the full power of your sincere courtesy and kindness, offer them to people who are careless and rude to you. 

Rudeness is nearly impossible to maintain when it is met with courtesy. Carelessness and negativity will wither in the bright light of kindness and true forgiveness. 

Sure, it is difficult to bring yourself to forgive those who are hurtful to you. But the thing is, forgiveness gives you the upper hand. 

The way to stop the hurt is by refusing to participate in it. To effectively help yourself, offer genuine kindness to others. 

By no means should you tolerate continued abuse. Yet there is no good reason to perpetuate that abuse. 

Be the one who is strong, who stops the negativity. Put the power of kindness, courtesy and forgiveness to work for you and your world.

&#8212; Ralph Marston_


----------



## Kazooie

No one is as good as you are?


----------



## Kazooie

Being right on time is best?


----------



## Kazooie

Woe to those who have no AC in the outhouse.


----------



## Kazooie

Hair is itchy and gross?


----------



## Kazooie

Pizzicato means sores.


----------



## Kazooie

Eel soup should never be eaten. EVER


----------



## Kazooie

Also, don't forget your meds or you'll start seeing things!


----------



## Kazooie

The shaggin' waggin' does not have just one designated parking spot.


----------



## esselle

You get what you give.
And, always have an umbrella in your car. :/


----------



## ShooterJ

Thought some might enjoy this..


 "Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

Just a minute, answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80&#8242;s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

Would you carry my bag out to the car? she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

Its nothing, I told her. I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.

Oh, youre such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, Could you drive through downtown?

Its not the shortest way, I answered quickly.

Oh, I dont mind, she said. Im in no hurry. Im on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

I dont have any family left, she continued. The doctor says I dont have very long.

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. What route would you like me to take? I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes shed ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, Im tired. Lets go now.

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.

It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

How much do I owe you? she asked, reaching into her purse.

Nothing, I said.

You have to make a living, she answered.

There are other passengers.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

You gave an old woman a little moment of joy, she said. Thank you.

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didnt pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I dont think that I have done anything more important in my life. Were conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware  beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one."

 - A true story by Kent Nerburn


----------



## Kazooie

Exemplary sizes means they just don't fit.


----------



## ShooterJ

The next time a cop pulls you over for speeding, just remember.. if he caught you, so was he.


----------



## Kazooie

There comes a time in every persons life where they just need to be exempted from the rules.


----------



## ShooterJ

Don't let the fear of death keep you from living.


----------



## esselle

Treat others as u wish to be treated.


----------



## Kazooie

Those with a low self-esteem are a poop judge of character.


----------



## ShooterJ

The next time you look at a star, remind yourself that it likely died long ago and it's light is just now reaching you... our own light travels on in much the same way, long after we're gone.


----------



## Azexa

ShooterJ said:


> The next time a cop pulls you over for speeding, just remember.. if he caught you, so was he.



Can I use this as a defence when I go to court for my speeding ticket next month? I wonder if it would work.


----------



## MsEve

Okay..I will be careful about this. Thanks for this information. May I know the reason tat why???


----------



## MsEve

where is mu post?


----------



## o hey tyler

MsEve said:


> where is mu post?



Above this one.


----------



## ShooterJ

Azexa said:


> ShooterJ said:
> 
> 
> 
> The next time a cop pulls you over for speeding, just remember.. if he caught you, so was he.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Can I use this as a defence when I go to court for my speeding ticket next month? I wonder if it would work.
Click to expand...


Worth a try I guess. Lol


----------



## Kazooie

The situation will grow more ironic as others join in.


----------



## Kazooie

As you grow older, mommy must stop loving you a little bit each day.


----------



## Kazooie

You need to ease into changes?


----------



## Cheta

Never go into a bathroom without the proper tools.


----------



## ShooterJ

It's the things that you least expect that hit you the hardest.


----------



## ShooterJ

If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you.


----------



## ShooterJ

Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.


----------



## Boris5

Okay, It would be batter if you you tell us reasons.


----------



## ShooterJ

Boris5 said:


> Okay, It would be batter if you you tell us reasons.



There are many reasons for many things, some reasonable and some unreasonable... depends upon your reasoning.  What would you like to know? :lmao:


----------



## ShooterJ

"Creativity is intelligence having fun." - Albert Einstein


----------



## Kazooie

Concerts are amazing!


----------



## ShooterJ

"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest.  All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do." - Anonymous


----------



## ShooterJ

There are old people, and there are bold people.  But there are no old, bold people.


----------



## Kazooie

Some people can really step up and take charge when asked!


----------



## Kazooie

A new location makes a ton of difference.


----------



## Kazooie

And putting stuff off doesn't mean I hate you.


----------



## Kazooie

Needles to the mouth hurt. A lot.


----------



## Kazooie

Weirder things have happened then what is about to.


----------



## Kazooie

People will surprise you, even after years of knowing them.


----------



## Kazooie

Sometimes, if everything happens perfectly, music can make you forget everything bad.


----------



## Kazooie

Repetition is key to success.


----------



## Kazooie

There is a reason that not a bunch of bassoon solos have been written since a long time ago.


----------



## Kazooie

Free programs can be really good.


----------



## Kazooie

Open your eyes, you'd be surprised what you see.


----------



## Kazooie

Curvy pride is the best kind.


----------



## Kazooie

Unwanted heroin can be almost forced onto you.


----------



## Kazooie

There is nothing like a good friendzoning.


----------



## Kazooie

Likewise, there is nothing better then fattening yourself up after bad news.


----------



## Dinardy

Always fart in an elevator while at full capacity. It will be a forever joyous moment

Sent from my iPhone


----------



## Kazooie

Smartphones are a marvel of today.


----------



## Kazooie

Exercise means you can eat more... right?


----------



## Kazooie

Some people just give off that vibe.


----------



## Overread

When 5 feet isn't enough its time for 6 feet and a 1 foot underground fence


----------



## Kazooie

Labradoodles will do anything to escape.


----------



## ffarl

You can't really say "happiness" without saying "penis".     Too much?


----------



## Kazooie

The best coffee is the homemade kind!


----------



## Kazooie

Likewise, the best happiness is the one that happens outside the home.


----------



## Kazooie

Copy and paste. Copy and paste.


----------



## Kazooie

To keep yourself busy, do it all, and then some.


----------



## Kazooie

Go to sleep, you're being stupid.


----------



## Kazooie

The person you like probably likes someone else.


----------



## Kazooie

The internet has lots of secrets.


----------



## Johnofalltrades

Do not try to stand on the road while taking a picture.


----------



## Kazooie

Being almost done means you can skip time.


----------



## Kazooie

Every new opportunity is a chance for failure.


----------



## Kazooie

Oh look, a whole year has gone by already.


----------



## Photographiend

[h=5]Lesson  of the day: There are a lot of words you can stretch out for emphasis  but when that word is Move... you just sound like you are Mooing...[/h]


----------



## robbins.photo

Moe Lester... hmm.. moe lester.. umm.. wait, molester!  Eww.. ok, ya, not opening that PM.. rotfl.


----------

