# Being asked to shoot a wedding when you aren't a wedding photographer



## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

I'm not a wedding photographer. I'm not even a professional photographer.
I'm a hobbyist/student with a website and not even very good to begin with. 


Here's the story. A sister of my wife's boss is getting married and she found out (I
would assume she was told by her sister) that I am a photo student. My wife asked me about a 
week ago if I would shoot her this woman's wedding. Before really giving it thought my knee jerk
reaction was "No, I'm not a wedding photographer" and that was that. Or so I thought. 


Fast forward to today, I call my wife at work and her boss picks up the phone. Once she finds out that it's me,
she immediately questions my decision of turning down the job (in a respectful way, she was pleasant about it. )
She goes on to tell me how great her sister and herself think my photos are, and they would love to have me do it.
I tried to explain to her that the difference between the photography that I do (studio, little kid stuff etc) is that it's usually in a controlled environment and that there are second chances where there isn't in wedding photography(as far as I know). I also explained to her that I've never shot a wedding before, and the closest thing to it was a child's birthday party. She asked me to reconsider. She also tried to soft sell the wedding. She explained it was a second marriage and a small reception. I told her I would give it a second thought. Also, I'm well aware that they are looking for a deal, and think that photography is photography, which is why they aren't looking for an established pro, but a friend of a friend, but that doesn't really concern me. 


There's a lot of homework ahead of me if I accept, so I guess I want to do my research and know what I am getting into, before I give her an answer.


I would imagine the given things I must do is:


- Scout out the venue, look at my options with light and angles. 
- Rent better equipment, and use mine as a backup. 
- Set up some a contract.
- Get ideas from other weddings. 
- Maybe hire an assistant


But what am I missing? Where do I go from here? If I do this, I want to be as prepared as can besides lack experience.


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## runnah (Feb 23, 2013)

I didn't read past "I am not a wedding photographer".

Just say no. 

Help them find a good replacement.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

runnah said:


> I didn't read past "I am not a wedding photographer".
> 
> Just say no.
> 
> Help them find a good replacement.



I didn't read past just...


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## tirediron (Feb 23, 2013)

My suggestion would be to politely refuse, however if you do accept, then the FIRST thing you need to do is get insurance, liability at a minimum (many venues won't even let you shoot unless they're named as an 'also insured' on your policy) and preferably E&) as well.  Regardless of how much they soft-sell the wedding, that won't do you a ****ing bit of good if some half-drunk friend stumbles over your lightstand and twists an ankle.  Then write out a contract and payment schedule, being sure to include rights usage, deliverables, etc.

Now sit down with the couple, go over the day in detail.  Know exactly what and where each portion of the day will occur, when you need to be there and for how long.  FInd out exactly what they want (shot list) and discuss formals, locations, and if there are any special relatives.   Consider parking, travel time, time of day, traffic, etc.  Visit each venue and talk with someone and ensure that there are no problems with photography, and ask for any pointers; they work there, they know the building, and have probably seen many weddings and photographers.  As you said, check for lighting (go at the same time of day as you will be there), positions, etc.  

If not well before hand, early on the day of, seek out the Maid/Matron of Honour and introduce yourself.  Ask if she will be able to help you with "herding the cats" and figuring out who's who, getting people into position, etc.  Have at least twice the number of batteries and memory cards you anticipate needing, and then add a few more.  Rent/borrow fast glass (2.8 minimum) from about 15 to 200 and practice with it before hand (ensure the couple knows this is an added expense and NOT included in your fee).  Ensure you have at least two speedlights and can get them off camera; practice bouncing and flagging and learn what distances work with what focal lenghts and apertures.

Good luck.

Don't do it.


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## Parker219 (Feb 23, 2013)

^ Click, highlight, right click, copy, open a blank email, paste, address email to the lady, send.  End it with the fact that since you do have some basic knowledge of photography, that you would be happy to help look for the right guy.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

That post was appreciated tire and I will make note of all of that, but I am interested in why your main suggestion is to refuse?


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

Parker219 said:


> ^ Click, highlight, right click, copy, open a blank email, paste, address email to the lady, send.  End it with the fact that since you do have some basic knowledge of photography, that you would be happy to help look for the right guy.



I'm not asking if I should or shouldn't do it. That decision is mine to make.


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## rexbobcat (Feb 23, 2013)

There are too many variable on your end that we don't know about so I can't tell you to just say no.

If the wedding is like tomorrow or something I say do it. It's their fault for waiting so long to find someone but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have pictures.

That's just my opinion.

Get a list of all the group shots too if you decide. You need to be as efficient as possible


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## runnah (Feb 23, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> That post was appreciated tire and I will make note of all of that, but I am interested in why your main suggestion is to refuse?



Because you don't want to learn on someone else's important life moment. You also don't want people paying for you to learn either.

When people hire wedding photographer they expect professional service and results.

It is not something to take lightly.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

runnah said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > That post was appreciated tire and I will make note of all of that, but I am interested in why your main suggestion is to refuse?
> ...



I agree. However, if you read the entire post instead of stopping at the first line, you would have read that I made it a point to explain to her
that I do not have experience in wedding photography. I made it a point to go in depth about things that could go wrong, like missing an important shot
and not getting a second chance. All of these things seemed to be OK to her because it's "Not really that big of a deal, it's just a small reception".


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

rexbobcat said:


> There are too many variable on your end that we don't know about so I can't tell you to just say no.
> 
> If the wedding is like tomorrow or something I say do it. It's their fault for waiting so long to find someone but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have pictures.
> 
> ...



All I know so far is that it's a small reception in May with a bridal party consisting of Bride and groom, MoH and Best Man and 1 bridesmaid and 1 groomsman.
I need to find out where it is, how many people are attending, what her expectations are, her budget etc.

Can't say yes without knowing all of these things.


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## Parker219 (Feb 23, 2013)

^ Since you are not listening to us, and you are the one that asked "what am I missing", then go ahead and do the wedding and regret it later.

Come back and "like" this post when you regret it, just so I know.


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## Josh66 (Feb 23, 2013)

You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...

There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it.  This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.

Yes, it could end badly - that's the chance you have to take.  I think you'll do at least "OK" though.

It sounds like the perfect chance to get your feet wet - no real expectations that you can't deliver, and it's something new and challenging.  A challenge is always good every now and then.


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## runnah (Feb 23, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...
> 
> There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it.  This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.
> 
> ...



That is all well and good when it is not at the expense of others.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

Parker219 said:


> ^ Since you are not listening to us, and you are the one that asked "what am I missing", then go ahead and do the wedding and regret it later.
> 
> Come back and "like" this post when you regret it, just so I know.



Couple of things I need to clarify, because there's some sort of disconnect. 

I never asked anybody if I should or shouldn't shoot this wedding, nor will I ask anyone if I should or shouldn't shoot it.
When I have all of the information, and have done my research I'll be able to make that decision. 

When I do things, I don't just wing it. I make sure I am very prepared for the task. There would have to be
something catastrophic to take place in order for me to regret shooting this woman's wedding.  
After all, I established and made very clear that I am not experienced in wedding photography.  

I don't know if you are purposely taking "What am I missing" out of context, but if you finish that line, it's clearly about preparation for shooting a wedding.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

runnah said:


> O|||||||O said:
> 
> 
> > You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...
> ...



You are aware that these people approached me right?


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## tirediron (Feb 23, 2013)

runnah said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > That post was appreciated tire and I will make note of all of that, but I am interested in why your main suggestion is to refuse?
> ...


This.  Exactly!  It's one thing to shoot a wedding for a couple who absolutely cannot afford anything more, but I get the impression "they like my work" really means that they're hoping to save a buck on the photography, and if your results aren't up to their (read: "her") expectations, it could get VERY uncomfortable, especially given the relationship here.


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## Parker219 (Feb 23, 2013)

So, you want to gather as much info before making a decision, yet you should also let them know either way so they will know if you are doing it or not right?

So my question is, what percent chance are you going to do the wedding at this point?


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## tirediron (Feb 23, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> runnah said:
> 
> 
> > O|||||||O said:
> ...


Understood....  but remember, you're dealing with a bride.  Brides (and mothers of brides) are not always rational and what they thought they [she] thought they wanted often turns out a lot less than they expect.


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## Josh66 (Feb 23, 2013)

runnah said:


> O|||||||O said:
> 
> 
> > You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...
> ...



So you're basically saying that you should not shoot weddings unless you've shot _X_ weddings before?  How exactly does one break into the 'wedding photographer' market?

Second shoot for a while, I suppose.  That would be the 'right' way to do it.  You have to have your 'first time' eventually - if he does this shoot, his first time won't be exactly optimal - but I've seen his work, and I think he'll do a better job than a lot of the people we see posting questions here nearly on a daily basis asking question about their first shoot.

I mean, Ballistics may not have shot a wedding before, but he isn't exactly a noob.  I'm confident that he can do at least passable work on this...  It probably won't be magazine worthy, but unless I've read too much into it, it will certainly be better than the alternative.

They know this will all be new for him, I'm sure they aren't expecting magazine quality photos from his first time out.  You have to get your feet wet eventually though, right?

This seems like a chance to do that without a huge burden on him.

If you crash & burn - lesson learned, hopefully.  Make changes, or don't do it again.  At the very least, this will let you know if weddings are even something you want to pursue further.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

tirediron said:


> runnah said:
> 
> 
> > Ballistics said:
> ...



I said that in the OP - 



> Also, I'm well aware that they are looking for a deal, and think that photography is photography, which is why they aren't looking for an established pro, but a friend of a friend, but that doesn't really concern me.



I'll give them another shot to truly understand the nature of hiring someone that has 0 experience in wedding photography and see if they make the decision for them to find someone else before I do.
I plan on finding out what her expectations are specifically and letting her know if I can meet them or not.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

Parker219 said:


> So, you want to gather as much info before making a decision, yet you should also let them know either way so they will know if you are doing it or not right?
> 
> So my question is, what percent chance are you going to do the wedding at this point?



Yeah, unless you want me to blindlessly make my decision and just say yes 

As for the percentage. I have 2 options: To shoot or not to shoot. I'll let you work that math out.


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## Josh66 (Feb 23, 2013)

I would maybe do a portrait shoot of the couple now, and see how they react to those photos before making a final decision.  Just a thought...


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## manaheim (Feb 23, 2013)

I totally understand what you're saying... you've decided to do it, and you're looking for information/advice on how to do it... not asking for whether or not you should.  I get it, but folks here are telling you to not do it for a reason, and I think you should take it seriously.

You said many key things...

1. You're a student.  To me this says you're somewhat new to photography at a professional level.
2. You're not used to that kind of environment- more working in a studio.  To me this says that you're going to be unprepared.
3. Your wife's bosses sister.  This means if you mess this up, not only will you have ruined someone's memories but you will be putting your wife's employment in an awkward situation.

Look... I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't try new things, and yes... EVERY wedding photographer has to start somewhere.  Yes, some wedding photographers just grab a camera and get to it, and yes some of them become very successful or do very well with it.  Are you going to be one of those?  Maybe!  But is it likely?  No, not really.

I've been pretty much obsessing about photography for somewhere close to 10 years now.  I'm very comfortable with it, have some very good gear, and have been to many weddings as a guest and even attended my own.   I went as a SECOND shooter for my first wedding a year and a half ago and BOY was I shocked to find out how woefully unprepared I was to handle it.

Now, some 15 weddings later... I can say that I only feel SORTA unprepared when shooting them.   Weddings are seriously complicated.

- The lighting tends to be pretty rough.
- The specific requirements of any given venue can be pretty complicated.
- You need to be coordinated with all the local staff and you need to know what you're doing or they'll get very irked with you.
- You need to make sure you're at the right places at the right times or you'll miss key shots.
- You have to understand all the "core shots" and be sure to get them, but also be sure to get some artistic shots that really make the day.
- You have heavy dependencies on reliable gear and need to have backup gear in case anything goes wrong.
- You have to be pretty damned fit... you'll be on your feet 10-14 hours easy, with very few breaks.
- You have to be really good at working with lots of different people.
- You have to be able to deal with bridezillas and momzillas if it comes up.

Oh and you have to slip all your standard photography skills in there, and have to be 100% on your game and able to switch things around in a SECOND because things move SUPER fast at weddings, and you have ZERO time to be going "gee, what f-stop should I be using here?"

I normally don't jump in on these threads and pig-pile onto the "no don't do it" crowd, but seriously... dude... your wife's bosses sister.  

NOT A GOOD IDEA.  NOT AT ALL.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> runnah said:
> 
> 
> > O|||||||O said:
> ...




Oh... you.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

It's almost like my conscience has made a bunch of screen names and are now talking out the pros and cons of shooting the wedding right here on TPF!


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## manaheim (Feb 23, 2013)

hahah... that's an amusing way of thinking about it.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

manaheim said:


> I totally understand what you're saying... you've decided to do it, and you're looking for information/advice on how to do it... not asking for whether or not you should.  I get it, but folks here are telling you to not do it for a reason, and I think you should take it seriously.



I haven't decided to do it. I've decided to consider and in give it serious thought and look into what goes into it before I decide to or not to do it. 



> You said many key things...
> 
> 1. You're a student.  To me this says you're somewhat new to photography at a professional level.
> 2. You're not used to that kind of environment- more working in a studio.  To me this says that you're going to be unprepared.
> 3. Your wife's bosses sister.  This means if you mess this up, not only will you have ruined someone's memories but you will be putting your wife's employment in an awkward situation.



#3 doesn't bother me at all. It sounds like a crappy thing to say, but without going into details of my wife's employment or her relationship with her boss, I'm confident that even if
I really bombed the hell out of this wedding that not much will change for my wife and her job. Sounds like a perfect world scenario, but everyone is just going to have to take my word on that. 



> Look... I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't try new things, and yes... EVERY wedding photographer has to start somewhere.  Yes, some wedding photographers just grab a camera and get to it, and yes some of them become very successful or do very well with it.  Are you going to be one of those?  Maybe!  But is it likely?  No, not really.



You're probably right. And I honestly believe that, which is why I said no in the first place. 



> I've been pretty much obsessing about photography for somewhere close to 10 years now.  I'm very comfortable with it, have some very good gear, and have been to many weddings as a guest and even attended my own.   I went as a SECOND shooter for my first wedding a year and a half ago and BOY was I shocked to find out how woefully unprepared I was to handle it.
> 
> Now, some 15 weddings later... I can say that I only feel SORTA unprepared when shooting them.   Weddings are seriously complicated.
> 
> ...


All noted, and I'll be sure to refer back to this post in the near future (seriously)



> I normally don't jump in on these threads and pig-pile onto the "no don't do it" crowd, but seriously... dude... your wife's bosses sister.
> 
> NOT A GOOD IDEA.  NOT AT ALL.



Is the boss thing the only reason why you think it's a bad idea?


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

Let me also mention that this isn't the first wedding that I've turned down (if I turn it down). This will be the 3rd wedding that I turn down, so I've given this thought in the past but
just said no and left it at that. But given the nature of this one, and the persistence of the person, I am considering it.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> I would maybe do a portrait shoot of the couple now, and see how they react to those photos before making a final decision.  Just a thought...



This is something that I honestly considered. Truthfully.


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## manaheim (Feb 23, 2013)

No the boss thing isn't the only one.  It's just the one that stood out for me above and beyond the usual list of reasons why people shouldn't just run out and do weddings.  (and all those reasons are still very good ones to avoid weddings if you're inexperienced).

If you're asked this often to do them it might be a good idea to make a point to go out and get some work as a second shooter.  It's interesting at the very least and will give you some experience as well.


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

So what are the "core" shots?


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## Ballistics (Feb 23, 2013)

So about the preparation of shooting a wedding?


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## Josh66 (Feb 24, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> O|||||||O said:
> 
> 
> > I would maybe do a portrait shoot of the couple now, and see how they react to those photos before making a final decision.  Just a thought...
> ...



I would do it, as soon as possible.  Hopefully they are honest when they tell you want they think, but in my experience, most people will tend to not want to 'hurt your feelings', so you may have to read between the lines to know what they really think.

Try to get a feel for how they feel about your work - if they don't seem to really like it (I doubt that will happen, lol), go no further.

Worst case scenario, consider it covering your bases.  "Look, I told you I haven't done this before - and you said that you loved my portraits."

If they hate your portraits, it would obviously be a bad idea to shoot a wedding for them...  I fully realize that portraits and a wedding are not the same thing, but I think if you can do one well, you have a chance at succeeding at the other.

It will be rough, no doubt - but sometimes you do your best work under pressure.  Worst case scenario, you might do a mediocre job on the wedding.  I doubt you'll butcher it.  IMO, mediocre is OK for your first time out.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like there is no alternate photographer lined up.  Mediocre is better than nothing...  I'm not saying that you're just mediocre, but lets be realistic - this will be your first time, you will make mistakes.  It think you'll be OK though.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > O|||||||O said:
> ...



I agree with all of your points. Every one. I plan on being very mediocre at best and I've relayed this to the party involved. I'll mention a portrait shoot with them on the cheap and see how it goes.


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## Awiserbud (Feb 24, 2013)

I say go for it, from all the info you've given about the situation it sounds like your very tempted, and if your ever going to break into wedding photography then this sounds like it could be the perfect scenario for you. just make sure your covered just in case.
I've only shot 3 weddings before, all low key affairs, none of them the fairytale wedding that young girls dream of, not that it makes them any less important, but certainly less pressure.
Obviously the best wedding photographers will have lots of experience behind them, that counts for a lot, but i also think it takes a certain type of person to be able to pull it off successfully, good organisational skills are always handy, heaps of confidence and people skills are also very important, and if your one of those types of people then all you need to concentrate on is getting the shots.


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## manaheim (Feb 24, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> So about the preparation of shooting a wedding?



IMO no one replied further probably on purpose. One, they probably don't want to give you any support to go off and do something they think you shouldn't do, and two... There's just way too much.  Waaaaay too much.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

manaheim said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > So about the preparation of shooting a wedding?
> ...



The other one I could understand, but why this? Really, with all the information given, what difference does it make to anyone that I shoot the wedding?


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

Awiserbud said:


> I say go for it, from all the info you've given about the situation it sounds like your very tempted, and if your ever going to break into wedding photography then this sounds like it could be the perfect scenario for you. just make sure your covered just in case.
> I've only shot 3 weddings before, all low key affairs, none of them the fairytale wedding that young girls dream of, not that it makes them any less important, but certainly less pressure.
> Obviously the best wedding photographers will have lots of experience behind them, that counts for a lot, but i also think it takes a certain type of person to be able to pull it off successfully, good organisational skills are always handy, heaps of confidence and people skills are also very important, and if your one of those types of people then all you need to concentrate on is getting the shots.



I'm more tempted to shoot the wedding now more than ever since I've been met with such anguish haha. 
In all seriousness, I made this thread not because I've already decided to shoot it, but to see what goes into it.
The only reason I even remotely consider it, is because of the soft sell of the wedding. The "It's not really a big deal, we just
need pictures for the event. It's just a second wedding" So with all of that, I'm thinking if it's just something that I could
swing basic photojournalism, I can't see how things could go so horribly wrong without there being some sort of freak accident out of
my control.


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## manaheim (Feb 24, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> The other one I could understand, but why this? Really, with all the information given, what difference does it make to anyone that I shoot the wedding?



-shrug- human nature.  No one wants to feel responsible for someone else doing something they think is wrong or likely to cause problems.

 (Mind you I'm speculating... I can't speak for others)


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## Rob99 (Feb 24, 2013)

Go search youtube for "that nikon guy wedding" and watch Matt Grangers series on shooting a wedding, it's some really good info and will give you a better idea if you and your gear are ready.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

manaheim said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > The other one I could understand, but why this? Really, with all the information given, what difference does it make to anyone that I shoot the wedding?
> ...



I just think people (not you) are just bitter and like to hop on band wagons and could honestly care less what happens either way. Hell some of the people screaming don't do it probably have never shot a wedding before.


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## weepete (Feb 24, 2013)

Well mate, since you don't seem to be getting the advice you asked for I'll chime in and say if it were me considering this for the first time I'd go with what a couple of the lads alluded to and do my best to find a way to be second shooter at another wedding with an experienced pro. Hopefully that'd be enough to get the answers to your questions and it may give you the experience to decide whither it's for you or not while having the saftey net there.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

Rob99 said:


> Go search youtube for "that nikon guy wedding" and watch Matt Grangers series on shooting a wedding, it's some really good info and will give you a better idea if you and your gear are ready.



Thanks for the resource. Appreciated!


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## Josh66 (Feb 24, 2013)

You obviously know what is at stake.  If you fall on your ass, I won't feel responsible in any way.  Yes, I am pushing you to do it, but I think you have an above average chance of doing at least "OK", and I think "OK" is not bad for your first time.
I think you're smart enough to make your own decision after considering everything that has been said in this thread.

You could do much worse than just 'OK'.  After this, you may decide that you never want to shoot another wedding again.  You may also decide that it is definitely what you want to do.  There's only one way to find out...

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

I think you might be giving me a little too much credit lol.


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## manaheim (Feb 24, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> You obviously know what is at stake.  If you fall on your ass, I won't feel responsible in any way.  Yes, I am pushing you to do it, but I think you have an above average chance of doing at least "OK", and I think "OK" is not bad for your first time.
> I think you're smart enough to make your own decision after considering everything that has been said in this thread.
> 
> You could do much worse than just 'OK'.  After this, you may decide that you never want to shoot another wedding again.  You may also decide that it is definitely what you want to do.  There's only one way to find out...
> ...



Yes, certainly all the best luck to you.


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## brian_f2.8 (Feb 24, 2013)

Several ways you could go about this

1 - say no thank you, i appreciate the offer

2 - shoot a wedding before hand if you can with someone who is established and learn how to do this

3 - say yes - its the only way you will grow and learn. who knows what comes out of it. let them know what you can and can't do. let them
     know this is your first. WHAT ARE THEIR EXPECTATIONS?


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## Josh66 (Feb 24, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> I think you might be giving me a little too much credit lol.



And I think you may be selling yourself short.

If you do this, I don't see you falling on your ass.  I'm sure some things will not go the way you'd like them to - but that is sort of to be expected on your first time.  There will be a learning curve, there's no doubt about that.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right choice for you at this time.  I can see good arguments for both sides.  Sure, it's new and scary - but you have to do new and scary things sometimes in order to grow.  The fact that you're questioning it means that you know the risks - it's not something to take lightly.  If you do it, I think you'll come out on top though.

If you decline, nobody will blame you.  If you do it, give it everything you have.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

brian_f2.8 said:


> Several ways you could go about this
> 
> 1 - say no thank you, i appreciate the offer
> 
> ...



I plan on finding that this week.


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## Ballistics (Feb 24, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > I think you might be giving me a little too much credit lol.
> ...



You are my voice of reason, Josh.


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## 12sndsgood (Feb 25, 2013)

To many question marks to really say wether you should do it or not.  If it were me the whole wifes boss would likley cause me to walk away. just on that fact alone.   i'd ask them there budget and who have they looked at so far, see where the wedding is at and the basic information. how much time is there until the wedding? if you have a month, walk away. if you have 4-5 months, that is a lot of time to plan for the day, if its something you'r just going to wing it, walk away. If you know it's a one shot deal and everything is on your shoulders and you can still feel confident then that say's something about yourself.  Make sure you go in planning.   Reason why i'm not just telling you to go and run away is because I was in your shoes last december when friends of mine asked me the same thing and I ended up taking the job, shooting the wedding an have walked the same path. I was problaby the most serious person at there wedding, because i knew i wasn't going to let myself screwup there day, and because I took charge of things and planned things out so the chances of me failing were as little as possible.   if you want to know the planning involved just head down to yoru local libary or book store, I have seen several books that lay out step by step the planning, processing and what's needed step by step. that was my first step the day after telling them I would do it. shooting a wedding isn't something you can just show up and expect things to go your way. you need to plan them out well ahead of time. and plan in contingincis when things go wrong (and they will).

If your a planner who has the dedication to take the time and run the wedding from start to finish and can take good photos under pressure take a chance. if you have no idea how you will reacct under pressure and don't feel like taking the time to plan in advance turn them down.

And if you are really considering wether to shoot there wedding or not. stop telling them your mediocre or not good.  put an idea in someones head your photos are **** and they will eventually believe that. and that might be stuck in there head when there looking over your photos. Don't lie about your experience. but I wouldn't talk bad about your photos.


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## Tee (Feb 25, 2013)

Just shoot the wedding. You've around long enough to know when these types of threads pop up the original poster is secretly hoping they'll get all kinds of "you can do it" replies. If you didn't think you could do it then you wouldn't have started the thread. Shoot the wedding, have a contract and post the results.


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## WickedWitch (Feb 25, 2013)

I'm new here but I just had to respond to this. I used to work at a florist where my manager kept mistaking my event coordinator certificate for my photography interests and would tell people I was a wedding photographer lol. As a coordinator I understand the question you're asking and I have to say step one would be what someone else said early on. Is it a venue? If it's not someones back yard you will very likely HAVE to have insurance. I would find that out initially and then how much. This answer alone may make you decide it's not worth it. I'm in no way saying you shouldn't but it may just make it clear that it's not worth it this time. If it's not much, sometimes it's not, then you can move on to worrying about other things. Also some venues won't allow outside photographers. In my city the botanical garden requires certain photographers to pay yearly dues to be their 'select' photographers. If you aren't the select few there is a hefty fee to shoot there. Crappy? Yes, but that's just how it is. The business aspect always seems to get in the way of creativity. When getting your info from the family, find out who the other vendors are. Introduce yourself beforehand if you can. I doubt they will have a planner but if they have someone coordinating by all means make them you best friend! Try to get an extremely detailed itinerary. They may try to be laid back with you since you already said they are making out like it's not a big deal but on that day emotions will be high and you won't get any questions answered then. So be heavy handed with them to make sure you know how the entire day will play out beforehand. And by all means, get some sort of contract, casual or not! Have you watched Judge Judy??? I know its more from the planner side but I hope this helps a little at least.


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## Kerbouchard (Feb 25, 2013)

A couple of things to consider...

First, the biggest red flag I saw in your original post was that you felt you needed to scout the venue.  I understand why you wrote that.  Heck, I've probably given that same advice on this forum...but that is usually to somebody who just got their camera and thinks their new DSLR with kit lens is going to cut it.  They scout it, figure out they can't take a picture in those conditions, and we never hear from them again.

I won't say that scouting a venue is a complete waste of time, but the thing about photographing weddings is they are all hard.  Either you have the skills and equipment to do it or you don't.  As far as scouting, you won't know what the light setup is going to be until you get there.  The DJ is probably going to bring lights, the venue might set them up, but rarely are the lights going to be the same from one day to the next.  You have to walk into the room, figure out where the shots will work from and where they won't.  You also need to figure out where all the 'core' shots are going to be...cake cutting, toasts, etc.  And you have to know where you need to be to get those shots and make sure you get there before it's announced and a guest has taken your spot.  Now, most of that is for the reception.

For the actual wedding, I shoot with two other photographers so that we don't have to move around and can still capture any angles we need.  You probably won't have that luxary, so you will already be limited.  As far as knowing what the rules are, well, you won't know that until the day of when you meet with the officiant and he tells you where you can be, when you can use your flash, and how he feels about you moving around.

What makes wedding photography difficult is that it is not easy to prepare for.  None of us can tell you what it's going to be like when you show up, where to stand, what the rules are going to be, what equipment you need, etc.  *You* have to be able to walk in and know it...You also need to have the gear and backups to do it.  It's not something that can be explained on an online forum.  It's something that comes with experience from shooting in a lot of really crappy situtations.

All that being said, it doesn't sound like you have talked money with them, yet.  My guess, you are over-thinking this and when you find out they want to pay you about $200 and it's going to be about 40 hours of work, you'll decide it's not worth it.

Either way, good luck to you.  I won't be one of the ones that says you shouldn't do it...sounds like you are putting a lot of thought into and asking good questions.  The one thing I would caution you on, though, is that when a 'client' doesn't want to spend a lot on photography, doesn't care about the person's experience, and just wants 'some photos', it makes it a lot more difficult for you as the photographer.  You have to realize that how much they value photography leading up to the wedding will directly correlate to how much they value the photos when they are at the wedding, and trust me, the clients cooperation and enthusiasm for what you are doing makes a huge difference in what you will be able to produce.


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## Ballistics (Feb 25, 2013)

Tee said:


> Just shoot the wedding. You've around long enough to know when these types of threads pop up the original poster is secretly hoping they'll get all kinds of "you can do it" replies. If you didn't think you could do it then you wouldn't have started the thread. Shoot the wedding, have a contract and post the results.



I gotta say, I've truly never stepped foot in the wedding forum ever. But, like I said before - validation is not the intent of the thread. I can get plenty of that from my wife lol (maybe not lol).
I don't know if I can or can't do it, but since this woman has persisted that I consider doing it, I'm considering it.


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## amolitor (Feb 25, 2013)

I am a bit baffled as to why nobody's willing to whip down a quick list of the core shots for you (for example), but they'll write 100s of words on why you shouldn't do it.

I don't know what they are either, I suggest you get googlin' though,


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## Ballistics (Feb 25, 2013)

12sndsgood said:


> To many question marks to really say wether you should do it or not.  If it were me the whole wifes boss would likley cause me to walk away. just on that fact alone.   i'd ask them there budget and who have they looked at so far, see where the wedding is at and the basic information. how much time is there until the wedding? if you have a month, walk away.


3 months exactly from today. 50 people attending. Bridal party consists of 3 people. I know the venue (married at the same place). The whole wife's boss thing is a non-factor.    

if





> you have 4-5 months, that is a lot of time to plan for the day, if its something you'r just going to wing it, walk away. If you know it's a one shot deal and everything is on your shoulders and you can still feel confident then that say's something about yourself.  Make sure you go in planning.   Reason why i'm not just telling you to go and run away is because I was in your shoes last december when friends of mine asked me the same thing and I ended up taking the job, shooting the wedding an have walked the same path. I was problaby the most serious person at there wedding, because i knew i wasn't going to let myself screwup there day, and because I took charge of things and planned things out so the chances of me failing were as little as possible.   if you want to know the planning involved just head down to yoru local libary or book store, I have seen several books that lay out step by step the planning, processing and what's needed step by step. that was my first step the day after telling them I would do it. shooting a wedding isn't something you can just show up and expect things to go your way. you need to plan them out well ahead of time. and plan in contingincis when things go wrong (and they will).



No winging it for me. This week I'm taking my time to research the intricacies of what's needed and expenses before I even give her a response. 



> If your a planner who has the dedication to take the time and run the wedding from start to finish and can take good photos under pressure take a chance. if you have no idea how you will reacct under pressure and don't feel like taking the time to plan in advance turn them down.


Roger. 



> And if you are really considering wether to shoot there wedding or not. stop telling them your mediocre or not good.  put an idea in someones head your photos are **** and they will eventually believe that. and that might be stuck in there head when there looking over your photos. Don't lie about your experience. but I wouldn't talk bad about your photos.


I didn't tell them that my photos were mediocre or not good. I told you guys that lol. They told me they like my photos.


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## Kerbouchard (Feb 25, 2013)

amolitor said:


> I am a bit baffled as to why nobody's willing to whip down a quick list of the core shots for you (for example), but they'll write 100s of words on why you shouldn't do it.
> 
> I don't know what they are either, I suggest you get googlin' though,



Because there is no such thing as a 'core list'.  It varies by the couple.  Some want a table shot of everybody there.  Some want formals.  Some want candids.  Some want a mixture.

As far as what most everybody wants, I'll give it a shot...

Getting ready:
Makeup
Shoes
Dress
Jewelery
Bouteneirs
Pinning
Adjusting the tie
General getting ready stuff

Formals:
Bride
Groom
Bride and Groom
Bride and Bridesmaids
Bride and Matron of Honor
Bride and Groomsmen
Groom and Bridesmaids
Groom and Groomsmen
Groom and Best Man
Bride and Mother
Bride and Mother/Father
Bride and Mother/Father/Siblings
Bride and Grandparents
Groom and Mother
Groom and Mother/Father
Groom and Mother/Father/Siblings
Groom and Grandparents
Complete wedding party
Bride/Groom w/ Grandparents
Bride/Groom w/ Parents
*Any other ones they specifically request...long lost cousin, whatever, and any of the above either split out or combined.

Ceremony:
Approach
First look
Nuptuals
Speeches/songs
Ring Exchange
Unity candle/sand
Close up shot
Pull back shot
Announcement
Recessional

Reception:
Arrival
Entrance
Toasts
First dance
Father/Daughter Dance
Mother/Son Dance
Cake cutting
Boquet toss
Garter toss
Dancing
Candids
Possibly table shots
Exit

Details:
Rings
Bouquet
Table settings
Food
Flowers
Decorations

Pull Back shots:
Overall church; outside and inside
Overall venue, preferably empty and set up
Overall venue with dancing

That list should cover most clients, but as always, it needs to be discussed with the client to make sure any special shots are considered and that you aren't wasting time on shots they don't want.


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## Ballistics (Feb 25, 2013)

Kerbouchard said:


> A couple of things to consider...
> 
> First, the biggest red flag I saw in your original post was that you felt you needed to scout the venue.  I understand why you wrote that.  Heck, I've probably given that same advice on this forum...but that is usually to somebody who just got their camera and thinks their new DSLR with kit lens is going to cut it.  They scout it, figure out they can't take a picture in those conditions, and we never hear from them again.



Well, I figured since I plan on getting back up gear, if it was a dark environment I would pick up a FF camera. If it were extremely well lit, I'd just stick with a second D7000 since I know it.
But now I know where it is, and it's in the morning in May and in a very well lit environment.   



> I won't say that scouting a venue is a complete waste of time, but the thing about photographing weddings is they are all hard.  Either you have the skills and equipment to do it or you don't.  As far as scouting, you won't know what the light setup is going to be until you get there.  The DJ is probably going to bring lights, the venue might set them up, but rarely are the lights going to be the same from one day to the next.  You have to walk into the room, figure out where the shots will work from and where they won't.  You also need to figure out where all the 'core' shots are going to be...cake cutting, toasts, etc.  And you have to know where you need to be to get those shots and make sure you get there before it's announced and a guest has taken your spot.  Now, most of that is for the reception.


Roger. 



> For the actual wedding, I shoot with two other photographers so that we don't have to move around and can still capture any angles we need.  You probably won't have that luxary, so you will already be limited.  As far as knowing what the rules are, well, you won't know that until the day of when you meet with the officiant and he tells you where you can be, when you can use your flash, and how he feels about you moving around.


The wedding is at the reception luckily, so I'll be able to coordinate everything at once with the staff. 



> What makes wedding photography difficult is that it is not easy to prepare for.  None of us can tell you what it's going to be like when you show up, where to stand, what the rules are going to be, what equipment you need, etc.  *You* have to be able to walk in and know it...You also need to have the gear and backups to do it.  It's not something that can be explained on an online forum.  It's something that comes with experience from shooting in a lot of really crappy situtations.


I'll keep this in mind and bring this up to the bride. 



> All that being said, it doesn't sound like you have talked money with them, yet.  My guess, you are over-thinking this and when you find out they want to pay you about $200 and it's going to be about 40 hours of work, you'll decide it's not worth it.



Haha bingo. I'm going to find out tomorrow hopefully what their budget is. 



> Either way, good luck to you.  I won't be one of the ones that says you shouldn't do it...sounds like you are putting a lot of thought into and asking good questions.  The one thing I would caution you on, though, is that when a 'client' doesn't want to spend a lot on photography, doesn't care about the person's experience, and just wants 'some photos', it makes it a lot more difficult for you as the photographer.  You have to realize that how much they value photography leading up to the wedding will directly correlate to how much they value the photos when they are at the wedding, and trust me, the clients cooperation and enthusiasm for what you are doing makes a huge difference in what you will be able to produce.


This is a very good point, and I would have to communicate this with the bride if in fact I do shoot it. 

Thanks, Kerbouchard. I appreciate the help.


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## Kerbouchard (Feb 25, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> Thanks, Kerbouchard. I appreciate the help.



No problem...

But then again, nobody is responding to my 2012 thread, so maybe all my pictures suck and you should just do the opposite of what I do.


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## Ballistics (Feb 25, 2013)

WickedWitch said:


> I'm new here but I just had to respond to this. I used to work at a florist where my manager kept mistaking my event coordinator certificate for my photography interests and would tell people I was a wedding photographer lol. As a coordinator I understand the question you're asking and I have to say step one would be what someone else said early on. Is it a venue? If it's not someones back yard you will very likely HAVE to have insurance. I would find that out initially and then how much. This answer alone may make you decide it's not worth it. I'm in no way saying you shouldn't but it may just make it clear that it's not worth it this time. If it's not much, sometimes it's not, then you can move on to worrying about other things. Also some venues won't allow outside photographers. In my city the botanical garden requires certain photographers to pay yearly dues to be their 'select' photographers. If you aren't the select few there is a hefty fee to shoot there. Crappy? Yes, but that's just how it is. The business aspect always seems to get in the way of creativity. When getting your info from the family, find out who the other vendors are. Introduce yourself beforehand if you can. I doubt they will have a planner but if they have someone coordinating by all means make them you best friend! Try to get an extremely detailed itinerary. They may try to be laid back with you since you already said they are making out like it's not a big deal but on that day emotions will be high and you won't get any questions answered then. So be heavy handed with them to make sure you know how the entire day will play out beforehand. And by all means, get some sort of contract, casual or not! Have you watched Judge Judy??? I know its more from the planner side but I hope this helps a little at least.



All expenses will be covered. I'm not paying anything out of pocket. Contract is definitely a priority.  

Thanks for your insight


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## 12sndsgood (Feb 26, 2013)

I'll disagree with kevin a little bit.   preparing for my first wedding was a lot of what made me able to do the job on the day and not worry so much. I got to the church ahead of time, and i planned my visit around the same time as when the wedding would be. so that I new my light would be similar. ( as much as could be) I had the wedding couple talk to the officiant, and I got in writing well in advance that I had free reign during the wedding, we were even allowed flash (wish we didn't use so as not to be a distraction) so we new ahead of time where we could be, where we couldn't be. how the lighting was going to be, how the ceremony was going to go down. by talking with the couple well in advance and finding out what they really wanted picture wise I was able to setup a shot list that I went over with the bride before the wedding to make sure that I was getting what they wanted. This went a long with with allowing me to help in planning there day and more importantly planning the timeline of the day so that I had the time nessicary to get the shots.


They are hard though as said, and things change on the fly. for my wedding we planned outdoor morning shots. it rained. so we had to switch gears on the fly and shoot indoors. luckily I had allready scouted out a sanctuary we were allowed to use and with some quick furniture moving, we were off and shooting. You have to plan for the worst and hope for the best and be able to change on the go. 

Another thing you might think about is finding a buddy to go along with you and second shoot for you. Something I chose to do as well. only takes one mistake to miss a batch of important photos and having another person there to back you up so to speak can be very valuble. Maybe find someone in the area that is halfway competant willing to shoot for experience.


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## pixmedic (Feb 26, 2013)

Pics of the wedding or it didn't happen!


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## tirediron (Feb 26, 2013)

Kerbouchard said:


> ...First, the biggest red flag I saw in your original post was that you felt you needed to scout the venue. I understand why you wrote that. Heck, I've probably given that same advice on this forum...but that is usually to somebody who just got their camera and thinks their new DSLR with kit lens is going to cut it. They scout it, figure out they can't take a picture in those conditions, and we never hear from them again.
> I won't say that scouting a venue is a complete waste of time, but the thing about photographing weddings is they are all hard. Either you have the skills and equipment to do it or you don't. As far as scouting, you won't know what the light setup is going to be until you get there. The DJ is probably going to bring lights, the venue might set them up, but rarely are the lights going to be the same from one day to the next. You have to walk into the room, figure out where the shots will work from and where they won't. You also need to figure out where all the 'core' shots are going to be...cake cutting, toasts, etc. And you have to know where you need to be to get those shots and make sure you get there before it's announced and a guest has taken your spot. Now, most of that is for the reception...



Ummm... What?  I'm sorry Kerby, I normally agree with your thoughts, but in this case, I'm going to have strongly disagree.  While weddings are NOT by any means my primary interest, I would never take on one without scouting the venues first.  As the saying goes, 'time spent on recce is NEVER wasted!".  Yes, weddings are all hard, some are harder than others, but I couldn't imagine showing up at the church on the day of and asking, "Anyone know where they're going to stand for the ceremony?"  I've received some excellent advice and suggestions from the various Rectors and Deacons; they've seen hundreds of weddings, and can make suggestions such as, "One photographer went over there and did this... the couple told me he got some great shots."  You're absolutely right that conditions on the day of will never be exactly the same as the day of the recce, but you can often get some good ideas.  IMO, a venue recce is as essential a part of the photographic process as a pre-event consulation.


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## kathyt (Feb 26, 2013)

tirediron said:


> Kerbouchard said:
> 
> 
> > ...First, the biggest red flag I saw in your original post was that you felt you needed to scout the venue. I understand why you wrote that. Heck, I've probably given that same advice on this forum...but that is usually to somebody who just got their camera and thinks their new DSLR with kit lens is going to cut it. They scout it, figure out they can't take a picture in those conditions, and we never hear from them again.
> ...



I don't scout reception venues anymore for the reasons Kerby mentioned above, but I always scout the ceremony venue if I have never shot there before. When I first started out, I did scout both though.


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## Kerbouchard (Feb 26, 2013)

tirediron said:


> Ummm... What? I'm sorry Kerby, I normally agree with your thoughts, but in this case, I'm going to have strongly disagree. While weddings are NOT by any means my primary interest, I would never take on one without scouting the venues first. As the saying goes, 'time spent on recce is NEVER wasted!". Yes, weddings are all hard, some are harder than others, but I couldn't imagine showing up at the church on the day of and asking, "Anyone know where they're going to stand for the ceremony?" I've received some excellent advice and suggestions from the various Rectors and Deacons; they've seen hundreds of weddings, and can make suggestions such as, "One photographer went over there and did this... the couple told me he got some great shots." You're absolutely right that conditions on the day of will never be exactly the same as the day of the recce, but you can often get some good ideas. IMO, a venue recce is as essential a part of the photographic process as a pre-event consulation.



Well, as I said, I've given the same advice dozens of times and I don't think it's a complete waste of time, but I personally don't visit the site before hand. Occasionally, I will get on their website and look at their 'weddings' page and most of the time, they have stuff that's been shot there before so that can give you an idea.

For me, personally, I just don't do it anymore. For one, we shoot at a lot of the same places so not much point in making a special trip just to look at it. Plus, it's not that hard to adjust to whatever the situation happens to be.

In any case, I will concede that my way isn't exactly helpful or recommended for somebody doing their first wedding. But then again, personally, I figure somebody shooting their first wedding should have the experience to shoot in whatever situation is required...but I do realize that's becoming less and less common.(Not a stab at the OP...just kind of in general)


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## Mike_E (Feb 28, 2013)

Has the decision been made?

If not consider that your _Wife's BOSS _is after you to do this.

Quote her a price of $1200 and tell her that there will be a second shooter.

If she accepts then go out and hire a Pro and pay him/her with the understanding that you will be shooting second and what the general deal is.  Get a contract and if anybody comes to you with grief then you go to him/her.





*TL;DR*:  Contract it out.


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## Ballistics (Feb 28, 2013)

Mike_E said:


> Has the decision been made?


Not yet.



> If not consider that your _Wife's BOSS _is after you to do this.



It's been mentioned, and considered multiple times throughout the thread. 


			
				Ballistics said:
			
		

> The whole wife's boss thing is a non-factor.





> Quote her a price of $1200 and tell her that there will be a second shooter.
> 
> If she accepts then go out and hire a pro and pay him/her with the understanding that you will be shooting second and what the general deal is.  Get a contract and if anybody comes to you with grief then you go to him/her.



A pro wedding photographer with a second shooter for $1200? Sounds... fair.


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## Josh66 (Feb 28, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> Mike_E said:
> 
> 
> > Has the decision been made?
> ...



Kind of deceptive (well, not really - it _is_ deceptive, lol), but I guess it would work.

Price seems low if Ballistics is going to get a cut though.


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## Steve5D (Mar 2, 2013)

Gotta' love the naysayers.

I've shot one wedding. _One_. It was the wedding of two dear friends. When they asked, I politely declined. They then told me that at least they would have the photos from the disposable cameras they would put on the tables at the reception. They were on a shoestring budget, had no prayer of affording a wedding photographer, so I agreed to do it. It was with the full understanding that I was NOT a wedding photographer, so I wasn't guaranteeing the results. When they asked what I charged, I simply said "I have no idea, I'm not a wedding photographer. Pay me what you're comfortable with". Honestly, I didn't care what they paid me. If they'd slipped a $20.00 in my pocket, that seriously would've been fine with me. 

They paid me $600.00, and were absolutely ecstatic with the results. A photo I took of the two of them, printed on canvas (a gift from me), hangs in their home, so I guess they really liked the results.

The fact that I'm an experienced photographer made the difference and, if the OP is one as well, I see no reason not to do it, considering the caveats he's already provided.


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## manaheim (Mar 2, 2013)

The naysayers are, in this and in most cases around here, mainly words of caution and wisdom.

Us patting him on the back and saying "Yeah! Get out there!!!!!" and little else would be both stupid and horribly irresponsible.

Your anecdote is just that... an anecdote.  It neither proves you can do it without experience prior, nor does it prove you cannot.  It is a single story in a field of thousands of both good and bad experiences, and for every good one there is a bad one to cancel it out.

There are plenty of folks on here with far MORE than one wedding under their belts... myself included... that have shared warnings about some of the potential pitfalls involved here, and I would comfortably pit any of those people's positions up against yours any day of the week.

I think the OP is going into this with his eyes wide open, and from what I hear he's not a clueless noob.  Given that, if he chooses to go for it, I imagine he'll be fine, but anyone who dismisses articulate and experienced words of caution as "naysaying" is really missing the boat.


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## Ballistics (Mar 2, 2013)

manaheim said:


> The naysayers are, in this and in most cases around here, mainly words of caution and wisdom.
> 
> Us patting him on the back and saying "Yeah! Get out there!!!!!" and little else would be both stupid and horribly irresponsible.
> 
> ...



In Steve5D's defense, I think he was comparing his situation specifically to mine, making mention of "the caveats provided".
I don't think he would recommend just anyone to shoot a wedding because he succeeded. I think because of the details given, he posted that.
That is after all, just a guess.


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## Steve5D (Mar 2, 2013)

manaheim said:


> The naysayers are, in this and in most cases around here, mainly words of caution and wisdom.
> 
> Us patting him on the back and saying "Yeah! Get out there!!!!!" and little else would be both stupid and horribly irresponsible.
> 
> ...



Yeah, I especially enjoyed the advice that said he should be deceptive in the hiring of a pro as a second shooter; that was special.

More than anything, it seems like people are trying to talk him out of it; that's the vibe I get reading this thread. I don't think that's the way to go. 

But, yeah, you're right. After all, what photographer _wouldn't _want to build a reputation for being dishonest?

I dismissed the naysaying _because _the OP is going into this reasonably and intelligently...


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## Steve5D (Mar 2, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> manaheim said:
> 
> 
> > The naysayers are, in this and in most cases around here, mainly words of caution and wisdom.
> ...



And a more accurate guess you could not have made...


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## manaheim (Mar 2, 2013)

The hiring the pro thing was a little peculiar.  I don't think it's exactly black and white write or wrong, though.  It's a bit ... on the edge.

Regardless, I wasn't speaking for every poster, but the OP got a lot of solid advice that, yes, tried to convince him to not do this.  I'm telling you that that is good advice, and very common when coming from more experienced folks.  Is _every_ wedding an impossible disaster doomed to blow up in _every_ new photographer's face?  No.  But on average, they're very challenging and _many_ of them can lead to very significant problems very quickly and the _average_ person with a camera is getting in way over their heads in trying it.  Given we're all dealing with broad strokes of the brush and people we don't really know here, it makes a LOT of sense to provide cautious conservative advice, and where weddings are concerned that equates very clearly to... "DON'T DO IT."


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## Steve5D (Mar 2, 2013)

manaheim said:


> The hiring the pro thing was a little peculiar.  I don't think it's exactly black and white write or wrong, though.  It's a bit ... on the edge.
> 
> Regardless, I wasn't speaking for every poster, but the OP got a lot of solid advice that, yes, tried to convince him to not do this.  I'm telling you that that is good advice, and very common when coming from more experienced folks.  Is _every_ wedding an impossible disaster doomed to blow up in _every_ new photographer's face?  No.  But on average, they're very challenging and _many_ of them can lead to very significant problems very quickly and the _average_ person with a camera is getting in way over their heads in trying it.  Given we're all dealing with broad strokes of the brush and people we don't really know here, it makes a LOT of sense to provide cautious conservative advice, and where weddings are concerned that equates very clearly to... "DON'T DO IT."



But the difference here is that it's being made clear from the very beginning that the OP is not a wedding photographer. That, in and of itself, helps to mitigate a lot of the challenges a "pro" might be expected to navigate.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got an album shoot to do. I'm only wishing I was inexperienced at this so I could wing it instead of actually knowing what I'm doing...


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## The_Traveler (Mar 2, 2013)

I'm not certain what the OP's purpose was in starting this thread.
Approximately the same question has been asked before multiple times and the same discussion happened.
He could have done a web search for 'must have wedding shots' and gotten the same list that someone her provided.

Maybe he wants to do and wants enough bum-pats to make him feel good about his decision?
But its surely a waste of time to give him input he doesn't want.


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## jaomul (Mar 2, 2013)

Reading title only I'd say do it if you want and refuse if you don't. Simple as that, as long as you explain your ability prior if you accept.


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## manaheim (Mar 2, 2013)

Steve5D said:


> manaheim said:
> 
> 
> > The hiring the pro thing was a little peculiar.  I don't think it's exactly black and white write or wrong, though.  It's a bit ... on the edge.
> ...



I'm sorry, _what?_  So his not being a pro somehow uniquely qualifies him to handle the wedding?  I'm totally confused.


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## Ballistics (Mar 2, 2013)

The_Traveler said:


> I'm not certain what the OP's purpose was in starting this thread.
> Approximately the same question has been asked before multiple times and the same discussion happened.
> He could have done a web search for 'must have wedding shots' and gotten the same list that someone her provided.
> 
> ...



You didn't read the OP, nor the exchange throughout the thread if this is what you have come up with.


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## Steve5D (Mar 2, 2013)

manaheim said:


> I'm sorry, _what?_  So his not being a pro somehow uniquely qualifies him to handle the wedding?*  I'm totally confused*.



Clearly.

I don't know where the Hell you came up with that little nugget, but it's not something I ever suggested...


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## The_Traveler (Mar 2, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> The_Traveler said:
> 
> 
> > I'm not certain what the OP's purpose was in starting this thread.
> ...



Really?

You said this...



Ballistics said:


> I'm not a wedding photographer. I'm not even a professional photographer.
> There's a lot of homework ahead of me if I accept, so I guess I want to do my research and know what I am getting into, before I give her an answer.
> I would imagine the given things I must do is:
> 
> ...



What is original about that question that hasn't been asked and answered a hundred times already on this site?
Why is it that you 'like' every encouraging comment and ignore the cautioning ones?

You want assurance that you can and should do it.
Well go ahead.
I for one, don't give a crap.


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## Ballistics (Mar 2, 2013)

The_Traveler said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > The_Traveler said:
> ...



You copied and pasted the OP - Now read it, and the rest of the read. And you will see where your assumptions fall flat on their face.


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## Ballistics (Mar 2, 2013)

The_Traveler said:


> Ballistics said:
> 
> 
> > The_Traveler said:
> ...



You copied and pasted a portion of the OP - Now go back and read all of it, and the rest of the thread. And you will see where your assumptions fall flat on their face.


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## The_Traveler (Mar 2, 2013)

Nope.
You're a student and therefore are much too subtle and deep for me.
I'm going to eat lunch.


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## Ballistics (Mar 2, 2013)

The_Traveler said:


> Nope.
> You're a student and therefore are much too subtle and deep for me.
> I'm going to eat lunch.



More bad assumptions. Nice. 



			
				Ballistics said:
			
		

> *OP: *...so I guess I want to do my research and know what I am getting into, before I give her an answer.
> 
> I'm not asking if I should or shouldn't do it. That decision is mine to make.
> 
> ...



If you read the thread, you would have read all of these lines that negate your pat on the bottom remark. 
At almost 30 yrs old, I can honestly say that affirmation from anyone is the least of my worries. 

I'm not basing my decision off of the positive and negative replies in this thread. The informative posts
are duly noted with out a doubt (both for and against me shooting this wedding), and I've even brought up points by some people in this thread in real life.

Manaheim and tirediron are some of the few that believe I shouldn't do it, but their inputs gave me perspective and food for thought. And I found them incredibly reasonable and informative. 

If you think this thread was a waste of time for me, you either did not read the thread, or you came up with that conclusion before you even clicked to enter.


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## manaheim (Mar 2, 2013)

Thanks, Ballistics.  Glad it was helpful.


Steve... So explain if you wouldn't mind.  My question was genuine.  I didn't follow your remarks and that was the best I got.


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## techniker (Mar 2, 2013)

O|||||||O said:


> You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...
> 
> There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it.  This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.
> 
> ...




I like to jump right in and learn while I do, which has taught me quite a bit about being resourceful and clever, but it has gotten me in over my head more times than I can count.

I am a mechanic and have completely rebuilt my Jeep Wrangler from the ground up including gears, rebuilding transmission/transfer case, suspension and advanced frame fabrication and welding. If a friend of a friend asked me to rebuild the motor in his car, I would have to decline because it's simply not in my skill set and I don't have the resources to resolve a major issue without going to a specialist. I would love to learn how but when my mistakes are going to affect other people I cannot accept an offer like that because the customer is expecting a service I cannot guarantee.

It's important to venture outside your comfort zone but you need to be reasonably prepared. Most people will consider photo hobbyists' work very good relative to shots they are used to seeing (facebook, for example), so there is a good chance that, as a non wedding specialist, you will please the customer. However it's ignorant to run head on into a situation you cannot repeat and expect to fully amount to the customer's expectations. 

You have informed the customer very explicitly that you are not a professional and have no experience shooting weddings. If you choose to shoot it, best of luck and I hope it helps your career out. You never know, if it turns out well it could open up a lot of opportunities.


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## Greiver (Apr 10, 2013)

Ballistics said:


> The_Traveler said:
> 
> 
> > Nope.
> ...


Seems like he's just talking **** while not providing any useful info, best to just ignore him.


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## Steve5D (Apr 10, 2013)

manaheim said:


> Steve... So explain if you wouldn't mind.  My question was genuine.  I didn't follow your remarks and that was the best I got.



You know that old saying that says "There's no such thing as a stupid question?"

Well, that saying's not true.

You said this: 



> So his not being a pro somehow uniquely qualifies him to handle the wedding?



I never said anything remotely like that. It's simply not possible to try to explain the intent of something I never even came close to saying...


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## manaheim (Apr 10, 2013)

Steve5D said:


> You know that old saying that says "There's no such thing as a stupid question?"
> 
> Well, that saying's not true.
> 
> ...



So we've revived this old obnoxious thread and Steve gets to put on his nasty hat again.


I'm going to suggest everyone just let this thread die.


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## tirediron (Apr 10, 2013)

_<Fin>_


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