# Vent-Shooting for the Ultra Wealthy



## bennielou (Mar 1, 2010)

Man, we all want that right?  Boy, did I get a wake up call...

So I get booked online.  All the goodies and pretty much everything I had to offer on top of that.

I never met the B&G.  They were out of state.  In fact everything was booked from out of state.  But the venue is here in town.  Everything looks cool.  I book a lot of jobs via the internet.

So I go to the venue.  The very best hotel in town.  I already knew that, but these people had 3 floors blocked off.  One floor just for the reception.  700 guests.  I didn't know that before hand.  So we split up the three man team to cover everything going on a once.

The wedding party is the who's who of the planet.  I didn't know that either.  The guest list is celebrities, major business people, newcasters, powerplayers and actual royalty.  

The wedding itself was in the $800,000 range

I was stoked.   Who wouldn't be?   At first......

The bride looks like Grace Kelly.  The groom is totally sweet and super handsome.

Most of the guests were total dolls.  Some were not.  They thought it was fun to mess with us...to try to block our shots....on purpose.

Some would not let us take shots of them at all.

Others were flat out rude.

The wedding party, was reclusive in taking photos.  So were some of the guests.  I have never heard, "No photos" as much in my life.

I've never been viewed as an employee, and on this wedding I wasn't viewed that way by everyone, but about 90 percent viewed me that way.  People snapped at me with their fingers, and called me, "Girl".    I was blown away.

So I finally made it to the bigtime wedding.  After many years of hard work.  It's definately the most beautiful, crazy, star studded wedding I've ever worked, but at the end of the day, I was dissolusioned.  I was a bit angry.  And I discovered that I'd rather work for the groups I am most used to. 

Most couples I work with think of me as a friend, not an employee. 

Being an employee sucks.

Anyway, I just needed to vent.  I can't exactly go to the families with my feelings of frustration.

After uploading the RAWS, I know this is going to be a fantastic wedding.  How can it not be?  But I'm not sure that I ever want to repeat this experience.  Ever.  It was truly the hardest thing I've ever encountered.

Again, just venting.  Thanks for listening.  I needed to "spill" to other people who would understand.


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## guitarkid (Mar 2, 2010)

i'm sorry that happened to you!  i really am!  i have been in that situation.  not with famous people, but wealthier.  it's one of the reasons i'm glad i'm not pursuing weddings like i was.  i stopped all advertising and marketing and just rely on the site.  in any case, i know what you mean about seen as an employee.  most people could never even think of doing what we do!  i also get sick of going up to people for photos and hearing...get me later...or, i don't think so.  there was this one time where this older guy was out on the dance floor with a younger girl so i approached them during a slow song, as i do with everyone else.  he was really rude and attempted to hide from where i was taking photos.  my gut told me he was cheating on someone with this girl.  i could be wrong, but based on how he acted, that's what i thought.  so of course i shot a few nice shots which wound up in the gallery.  this other time, this young couple told me how poor they were and they really needed someone good, etc etc etc.  we gave them a good break and i wanted the gig.  we pull up and there are ferraris and porche's at the hall..even a lamborhini!  from that point on, i don't cater to anyone with a sob story.  i would rather stay home than to get paid less and deal with snobs!  i'm not a peasant.  there's my rant.  so right now, i still do weddings but don't pursue them and i'm really happy.  i'm going back to what i love...shooting bands and anything else that comes around.  this includes HD video production.  i'm also getting back into guitar again and starting to record heavily for a new CD.  i did the wedding photo thing hard core since 2002.  these last 2 years really tapered off with the economy and i too felt more like an employee / peasant.  i have a tough skin but got tired of feeling like that.  no one in this life is better than anyone else and i can't stand anyone who thinks otherwise.


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## Some Idiot (Mar 2, 2010)

CHARGE EXTRA, that will make the pain go away


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## bigtwinky (Mar 2, 2010)

Ack, to be treated that way really sucks.  I have fortunately not been in that situation, but I could only imagine what you were / are feeling over all of it.

I guess the grass isn't always greener.  Just because they have the cash, doesn't mean its actually a step up in terms of your photography business.  Sure, you probably gain a bigger reputation when you can attach bigger names to your client list, but do you really want more of the same?

I assume the reasons you do what you is because you dont want to be an employee, you want to run your own business and be your own boss.  So for people to look down on your because you are working at their event must suck.  I'm sure these narcistic elitists also look down on anyone else who is doing a service style job.

Chin up...back to what you know and you do well.  Lesson learned and all that jazz


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## Overread (Mar 2, 2010)

Generally speaking those at the top of the wealth/social ladder have little difference from those you find at the bottom 

Good on you for not losing your cool during the day, such a suddenly dismissive environment like that can throw some people. Also I bet most of those "No cameras/photos please" are so used to saying it infront of a  camera that its more automatic than anything else


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## Phranquey (Mar 2, 2010)

I'd say the vent is well justified, but the level of sympathy is tempered.  I have played second on a few weddings, and that kind of treatment is dished out no matter the aristocratic level, as you are not THE photographer......  you are merely the _helper_.  Even though I am running around with a camera as well, you were seen "gophering" during the formals.


guitarkid, are your shift keys broken ??  I think I actually made it about a third of the way through that before I decided to quit....


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## KmH (Mar 2, 2010)

Phranquey said:


> guitarkid, are your shift keys broken ?? I think I actually made it about a third of the way through that before I decided to quit....


 You did better than me.


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## bigtwinky (Mar 3, 2010)

KmH said:


> Phranquey said:
> 
> 
> > guitarkid, are your shift keys broken ?? I think I actually made it about a third of the way through that before I decided to quit....
> ...


 
I dont mind the shift keys, I'm curious to know whats up with the Enter key    :hug::


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## Renol (Mar 3, 2010)

I find it interesting to hear/read things of this nature. Being the still "up and coming" photographer that I am I keep wondering if I should make this a profession or keep it a hobby. This just adds more fuel to the burning fire of debate. But yea I would be sorely tempted to completely ruin the event because of the way I was treated if I were in your shoes. I tip my hat to you for keeping a lid on it and not blowing up at them. Above all I appreciate you sharing your experience.


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## bennielou (Mar 5, 2010)

Thanks all.  I knew you guys would understand the frustration.  It was really hard to keep my cool.  
I looked forward to this type of event for years, but discovered it's simply not my cup of tea.  
All my prior clients have been friends.  I do their baby photos, and their Christams photos, and they are like family.  That's the type of client I'd rather have.
I give props to photogs who handle these types of events on a normal basis.   But for me, I just don't need it.


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## NateWagner (Mar 5, 2010)

bigtwinky said:


> KmH said:
> 
> 
> > Phranquey said:
> ...



+1 

I actually just pretty much skipped gk's post cause of it.


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## DScience (Mar 5, 2010)

I'm sorry but it's hard for me to be sensitive to this subject. What did you expect, to walk into the wedding and be treated like a queen? I mean seriously, although you might WISH to be treated as a 'friend', in reality you are doing a job, and as such you are their employee. If you wanted to get pats on the back for every 'job' you do, stick with baby or child photography.


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## c.cloudwalker (Mar 5, 2010)

DScience said:


> I'm sorry but it's hard for me to be sensitive to this subject. What did you expect, to walk into the wedding and be treated like a queen? I mean seriously, although you might WISH to be treated as a 'friend', in reality you are doing a job, and as such you are their employee.



Have to say that I agree with this. It is part of the job. You should try shooting famous musicians sometimes :lmao:


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## Dominantly (Mar 5, 2010)

You did much better then I could have. I am the fiery type, especially with people who have a chip on their shoulder.

Can we see some examples?


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## craig (Mar 5, 2010)

Tough deal for sure. And as was mentioned you will get brutalized in photography. Be strong.

I am also familiar with the scenario that will follow this event. I bet you a dollar that those hoidy toidy's were really impressed with your images and your professionalism. You just stepped up one rung on the ladder. 

Keep in mind that some people have zero to no social skills. Mostly they live in a world that is very different then ours. Not like that is an excuse; just a different perspective. 

Love & Bass


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## c.cloudwalker (Mar 6, 2010)

craig said:


> Keep in mind that some people have zero to no social skills. Mostly they live in a world that is very different then ours. Not like that is an excuse; just a different perspective.



:thumbup:  Although I do think it is an excuse. Even if not the best one. For some of those people, that is all that they know. Sad but true.


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## Prometheus (Mar 6, 2010)

Overread said:


> Generally speaking those at the top of the wealth/social ladder have little difference from those you find at the bottom


I'm a bit offended at this considering most of my life I've been on the bottom end of the wealth ladder - I grew up in a very poor neighborhood inside Atlanta next to an area of mixed income ranging from middle-class to the nouveau riche. I went to both a rich high school and a poor high school. A private university and a community college. My experiences have shown me those at all positions of the "wealth/social ladder" have the same propensity to be as arrogant and xenophobic as anybody else ... Everyone's isolated to their own social circle to some extent no matter your income and it's a little unfair to vindicate the just-as-guilty middle class of the same crimes you accuse the upper and lower classes of committing ...

In short, everybody sucks no matter where you go.


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## matfoster (Mar 6, 2010)

i used to do deliveries to people's houses. groceries ordered over the internet. from the single mums and old folks in grim housing estates, i'd get generous tips. from the rich people living behind electronic gates i'd get complaints they'd been short-changed by $2 on a $200 itemised bill or a single bottle of water from 2 or 3 crates or something.

rich doesn't equal 'class'. plenty of plebs have lots of money. and more than a few classy people can be found living on the breadline also.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

DScience said:


> I'm sorry but it's hard for me to be sensitive to this subject. What did you expect, to walk into the wedding and be treated like a queen? I mean seriously, although you might WISH to be treated as a 'friend', in reality you are doing a job, and as such you are their employee. If you wanted to get pats on the back for every 'job' you do, stick with baby or child photography.


 

Oh Lordy.  Where did that come from?

No, I don't expect to be treated like a queen, and I am fully aware that I am an employee.  Unlike some photographers, I do see myself not as an "art-teest" but an employee.  There to do the best job I can.  Just like the cake lady.  Just like the guys that do amazing flowers.

But it makes my job SUPER hard when I have people resistant to taking photographs.  And I'm not just talking about the people at the wedding.  I'm also referring to the Bride and Groom.

So guess what they are going to say when they get their proofs, and there isn't a single posed photograph?  (Because they couldn't be bothered).

And what will they say when they see that half of their wealthy/famous friends photos are missing.  Not because we didn't try to take them mind you, but because we were forbidden to do so.  What do you think they will say?

What I am saying, is that this group made my job really hard/nearly impossible.

And what the F is the deal with putting Job in parenthasis?  Like what I do isn't a job.  Listen up....this is what I do for a living.  I don't live with Mommy, and I've graduated college long ago.  I don't have a second job.  This is what I do.

I've shot my fair share of famous people back when I was in photojournalism.  To say that I can't deal with it is unfair.  They can't deal with it.

What I was voicing, was my frustration at not being able to do my job to my best ability.  Not because I wasn't trying.  Because I was hampered from doing so.

What I was saying, is that sooooo many wedding photogs dream of this big day when they shoot an $800,000 wedding.  I know I did.  But then I found that I was so hindered that I couldn't do my best work.  And it made me frustrated.  Because I want to do the very best work I can for my clients.

So anyway, when you get to that point in your career, you can let me know how you feel then.  Maybe you will rock it, and just bow your head and say, "Yes Man"/"Yes Sir" with no regard to the final product.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Cloudwalker,
Is your port online?  I didn't see a link.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Prometheus said:


> Overread said:
> 
> 
> > Generally speaking those at the top of the wealth/social ladder have little difference from those you find at the bottom
> ...


 
Hi,
I hope you didn't take my post wrong. They didn't suck. They were just...elusive. It was like they thought I would send the photos to People Magazine or something. (I would never do that). They were all pretty much nice, but it was the constant "no photos" that got to me. How in the hell do I shoot a wedding when half the people in the wedding party forbid me to take a photo of them? How do I show what guests were there, dancing and having a good time, when I'm not allowed to take a photo? I mean some of these folks had actual bodygaurds with them. Do I just say "screw you" and take the photo anyways and then run for the door?

No, of course I can't. But then I have to answer to the contracting parties too. They invited all these folks and you better believe they are expecting photos of all these peeps who attended their beautiful daughter's wedding. What am I going to say when they aren't there?

So that is why I give totally props to the photogs who shoot these weddings on a regular basis. I honestly don't know how they handle it. They have to have way better people skills than I do.

And it's still my opinion, that I don't want to do weddings like this one anymore. I can't do the job I was paid to do. I don't want to do things half assed, and that is what I had to resort to.


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## Big Mike (Mar 10, 2010)

I think a big part of the issue is the way you were booked.


> I never met the B&G.
> The wedding party is the who's who of the planet. I didn't know that either.


I don't know if you mentioned it, but were you actually picked/booked by the B&G or by some assistant or wedding planner?  

My point is that they didn't seem to be emotionally invested in their wedding photos.  When a typical B&G spend time choosing a photographer and meeting with them, there is usually some sort of emotional investment.  They are paying you good money and they want good photos....so they will likely do what they can to make that happen.  
In this case, even though it was a lot of money, it was probably chump change to them.  There was little investment in you, and you were just another vendor to them.

If you could have set a meeting and talked to them, you surely would have been able to let them know how you work and what kind of cooperation you want/expect.  If they has said that some guests won't want their picture taken, then at least you would have known that going in.  Or if they said that they did want photos, you could have told them that it's their responsibility to ask their guests for permission etc.

Also, was there a wedding planner that you could have asked about this?  I've worked a few weddings with pro wedding planners and they would be the go-to person for an issue like this.  They may not be able to help, but they are probably in a better position to do something about it.


Not really a solution, but I keep thinking that if you charged them $200,000 and walked into that place like you were Annie Leibovitz, it might command enough respect that they would have little choice but to submit to being photographed.  But you might actually have to be Annie Leibovitz to pull that off.  :er:


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Big Mike said:


> I think a big part of the issue is the way you were booked.
> 
> 
> > I never met the B&G.
> ...


 

I WISH I was Annie Leibovitz, (without the money problems of course).

Here is how it went down. The wedding coordinator origally found us. The bride contacted me via e-mail and said she loved the website. I thanked her and asked her if I could answer any questions for her. She replied that, no, she was fine and wanted to book.
I asked her if she wanted to meet with me in person, but she replied that no, she was from out of town. So I sent her a contract which she and her mother filled out and sent me back online.
I had never seen the bride until the wedding day.

Even though they booked everything I had to offer, and I made a good deal on the contract, you are right that they weren't invested in the photography. It was the largest photography budget I've had to date, but when you look at the budget for the flowers, the seated dinner, the cakes and all the rest, I was probably the least in the overall budget. It was more about the show.

I mean I got to the venue, and just dropped my jaw. I had no idea. No idea at all that is was this massive. But I picked up my marbles and carried on. And then I hit this thunderstorm of "no photos", which really messed up my work.


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## c.cloudwalker (Mar 10, 2010)

bennielou said:


> I WISH I was Annie Leibovitz, (without the money problems of course).



Don't we all?

PM coming.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Hi Cloud,
Got it.    Thanks for writing.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Big Mike said:


> I think a big part of the issue is the way you were booked.
> 
> 
> > I never met the B&G.
> ...


 
Hi again Mike,
I missed one part of your post.  My contract basically states that I can't be held liable for people or situations that don't comply.  So I'm good there.  (Not that they still can't throw a fit.)
 The main thing for me was that it was so damn hard to do my job.  And if I am hindered from doing my job, they aren't going to get the same type of work they see on my website or my blog.
Even though I made a lot of money on this deal, it wasn't nearly enough for the hassles I put up with, or will face when they get the photos, I suspect.
I was also frustrated that I obviously don't know how to command these types to do my bidding....even if my bidding is only in their best interest.
(Ok, I can already hear the guy with the Queen crap again.


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## DScience (Mar 10, 2010)

bennielou said:


> Hi again Mike,
> I missed one part of your post.  My contract basically states that I can't be held liable for people or situations that don't comply.  So I'm good there.  (Not that they still can't throw a fit.)
> The main thing for me was that it was so damn hard to do my job.  And if I am hindered from doing my job, they aren't going to get the same type of work they see on my website or my blog.
> Even though I made a lot of money on this deal, it wasn't nearly enough for the hassles I put up with, or will face when they get the photos, I suspect.
> ...





Again I am failing to feel any sympathy for you. Here's what it sounds like to me:


You made "a lot" of money. Your job was hard because all you had to do was take candid shots of just a small percentage of the guests. Even though your contract guarantees you the money no matter what the results are, you are still pee-pee hurt because they aren't going to be happy with the results. You know what, it's their fault. So now you come here to 'vent' about how....you couldn't do your job well? Geez, if I didn't know any better I would have guessed from your explanation that they simply made your job REALLY EASY!


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Ok, DScience.  First time ever that I have had to "hide" someone.  You get the honors.

I came here to vent, because I have other area to vent to that would understand.



Like I said, when you do this type of job, then you can tell me all about how you did it better.  Until then......

And dude, who says "Pee Pee"?  Really.

Anyhow, I'm not going to argue with someone who puts Pee Pee in a post.  We are obviously very different people, and that's cool, but I'm not likey to take advice from you.  Now or in the future.
I hope your future is great.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Opps!  Now that I said all that....how do I ignore someone?  Mike?


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## DScience (Mar 10, 2010)

bennielou said:


> Ok, DScience.  First time ever that I have had to "hide" someone.  You get the honors.
> 
> I came here to vent, because I have other area to vent to that would understand.
> 
> ...





bennielou said:


> Opps!  Now that I said all that....how do I ignore someone?  Mike?




I think you are really upset because you know I am right.  Now you can 'block me', not 'hide'.


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## bennielou (Mar 10, 2010)

Never mind.   I figured it out.


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## keith foster (Mar 10, 2010)

Sorry your vent got interrupted.

I read your post right after it went up and didn't reply but felt compelled to tonight.  I have never personally experienced what you did and so I can only imagine the frustration you felt.

I hope you made a LOT of money from them and they end up ordering even more prints so you can make a bigger bundle from them.  There has to be something good coming from this for you.


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## Prometheus (Mar 10, 2010)

bennielou said:


> Prometheus said:
> 
> 
> > Overread said:
> ...



My post was mostly directed at what Overread said and was kind of off-topic; Sorry about that.


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## bennielou (Mar 11, 2010)

Hi Guys.  Thanks for the support.  I know I sounded like a total winer.  I was just so very frustrated.  Sorry for the vent, but I wanted to get it off my chest with my brothers and sisters who knows how it can go sometimes.  I think we all probably experience this type of thing at one type or another, be it at weddings, or commercial work, or whatever.
Thanks again.


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## c.cloudwalker (Mar 11, 2010)

Yes you did but that's alright. We all need to vent once in a while. Sometimes more often than that.

Except, of course, for the non-working photographers who don't don't much about real life photography. Unfortunately, we have more non-working photogs here than working ones. And they ***** at you according to their limited knowledge of real life photography. How nice to do a 365 when it means nothing in terms of paying the bills because it is just a hobby...

Hopefully, these people will never have to find out what real life is


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## usayit (Mar 11, 2010)

Grew up in a typical middle class neighborhood which over time got surrounded by extremely wealthy areas.   I hated dealing with it in school and the parents of the original middle class neighborhood lost a voice in local gov't.  The experience a left a bad taste and I got out of there quickly after high school (and on to college).  Till this day I avoid those areas as much as I avoid high crime areas.  If you looked up the city, it would be ranked at one of the so called "Best Places to Live in the U.S."  What a F&^#$ load of crap!  The people that established and built the place to what it became got shoved out.  

Many will say there are no "classes" in America... because they still live in a fantasy that here in the U.S. people are all born equal and live equally.  What a load of B.S!!!   

The OP got a taste of it... Unfortunately, you have to figure a way to deal with it.  I would also charge more if that were the clientele... essentially get paid to "deal".


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## c.cloudwalker (Mar 11, 2010)

usayit said:


> Many will say there are no "classes" in America... because they still live in a fantasy that here in the U.S. people are all born equal and live equally.  What a load of B.S!!!



Hell man, what's wrong with you? We do not have "classes" here.

I live in a mobile home park but I am totally equal to the man who lives in the macmansion of the hill. :lmao:


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