# The INNUENDO thread!  :)



## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

Since we all seem to be so good at it here...I figured we should have a thread where the rules are....each post has to be innocent looking, yet laced with innuendos!  Stupid Idea?  Let me know...I think it may turn out quite interesting! 

So...who wants to start?  (now that I started the thread, I'm blanking! Ha ha...)


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## ferny (Dec 3, 2004)

core_17 said:
			
		

> I'm blanking!


You dirty little minx.   


I'm starving right now. I'm gonna have some left overs from last night in a second. I'll come back later after I've stuffed myself so much I can't walk properly.


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## MDowdey (Dec 3, 2004)

i onced choked a cyclops just to have him spit in my eye.


(runs from the rest of the admins)



md


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## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

MDowdey said:
			
		

> i onced choked a cyclops just to have him spit in my eye.
> 
> 
> (runs from the rest of the admins)
> ...



 :LOL: :lmao:  BUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  I'll make another post as soon as I can stop laughing long enough to breathe!  :LOL:


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## Artemis (Dec 3, 2004)

I think I need a bannana guard, cause girls are always trying to grab my bannana!


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> I think I need a bannana guard, cause girls are always trying to grab my bannana!



It's because they find you so appealing. But it's fun to get a girl to count when she is peeling the skin off a banana - one skin....two skin....three skin....


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## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

One thing I've learned from working in the office of a machine shop...you have to handle tools carefully and delicately, or someone could get hurt.


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

core_17 said:
			
		

> One thing I've learned from working in the office of a machine shop...you have to handle tools carefully and delicately, or someone could get hurt.



I take it that you are good at handling men in awkward situations - and you've seen every kind and size of tool there is.


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## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

I'm not THAT experienced with different tools!!!  Though the safety rules have been drilled into my brain.  I'm not too sure I WANT to learn every kind and size!  Makes life a bit too complicated.


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

Is it okay to spank a monkey at the zoo? I mean if he's bad and all shouldn't it get punished. :shock:


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

mygrain said:
			
		

> Is it okay to spank a monkey at the zoo? I mean if he's bad and all shouldn't it get punished. :shock:



Just tread on his banana!


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## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

mygrain said:
			
		

> Is it okay to spank a monkey at the zoo? I mean if he's bad and all shouldn't it get punished. :shock:



I don't see why not...as long as you don't let the general public see.  I mean, what would a kid think if he/she saw you spanking the monkey?  They might think it's ok to beat things whenever they want to.


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

core_17 said:
			
		

> I'm not THAT experienced with different tools!!!  Though the safety rules have been drilled into my brain.  I'm not too sure I WANT to learn every kind and size!  Makes life a bit too complicated.



Do you ever get to do any screwing in the machine shop? Or do you prefer a good crank?


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## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

I think I'd be scared to in the shop...you know..people all around and all...they might make fun of me cuz they don't think I know what I'm doing...I do have my own toolbox at home though...I think I use my drill the most.  It's quite useful.


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

core_17 said:
			
		

> mygrain said:
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It's only a short step from spanking the monkey to bashing the Bishop. And that could lead to all sorts of sticky situations.


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

core_17 said:
			
		

> I think I'd be scared to in the shop...you know..people all around and all...I do have my own toolbox at home though...I think I use my drill the most.  It's quite useful.



And of course you would know all about choosing and using the right lubricant,


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

I heard a squirrel dribbling his nuts in my attic last night while I was trying to sleep. It sucked hard!!!


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## Artemis (Dec 3, 2004)

My bannana guard is great, a bit to tight though, keeps crushing the bannana!


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> My bannana guard is great, a bit to tight though, keeps crushing the bannana!



How about using some coconut oil. It might atleast help ya slip it in there a little better. Just be sure to wipe it off before ya decide to offer it to someone else :lmao: ( oh man this thread is gonna get us in soooooooo much trouble) :shock:


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## Corry (Dec 3, 2004)

Do you KNOW the importance of showing your patriotism and keeping your flagpole polished?  You should.


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## ferny (Dec 3, 2004)

Sure do Core. I fire off a ten gun salute before I go to bed. Sometimes I even have enough ammunition left over for a couple of shots in the morning when I wake up.
I've been told not to play with my gun though. The doctor said I could do myself some damge one day. :?


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## Artemis (Dec 3, 2004)

Ive given up with cocunut oil, now im just forcing it in as much as possible...If I keep pushing and try different ways, it must be able to slip in!


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

ferny said:
			
		

> Sure do Core. I fire off a ten gun salute before I go to bed. Sometimes I even have enough ammunition left over for a couple of shots in the morning when I wake up.
> I've been told not to play with my gun though. The doctor said I could do myself some damge one day. :?



Then a banana guard is definately in order...just be sure to use the coconut oil i sent to arty. A well lubed gun is a happy gun!


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## ferny (Dec 3, 2004)

The gun is cleaned and polished regularly (at least once a week). That reminds me though, there is a little bit of dust that I can't reach. I'll switch on the air-compressor tomorrow and give my gun a good blow.


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

wow you can blow yer own gun...that's amazing! :lmao:


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## jadin (Dec 3, 2004)

Note: perhaps title should have a warning of some sort. That said, on with the innuendos!


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

Artemis said:
			
		

> Ive given up with cocunut oil, now im just forcing it in as much as possible...If I keep pushing and try different ways, it must be able to slip in!



motor oil then? :shock:


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## ferny (Dec 3, 2004)

I thought The INNUENDO thread!  was a self explanatory title. Are you sure your eyesight is ok jadin? You haven't abused it too much over the years have you?


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## mygrain (Dec 3, 2004)

ferny said:
			
		

> I thought The INNUENDO thread!  was a self explanatory title. Are you sure your eyesight is ok jadin? You haven't abused it too much over the years have you?


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## ferny (Dec 3, 2004)

Has anyone else found the word innuendo (in you end dough (go)) kinda... funny?


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## ferny (Dec 3, 2004)

No posts? I thought this was going along quite well. I feel like I'm playing with myself now. 


Anyhoo, I'm orf to bed. Nighty night.


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## Hertz van Rental (Dec 3, 2004)

ferny said:
			
		

> No posts? I thought this was going along quite well. I feel like I'm playing with myself now.
> 
> 
> Anyhoo, I'm orf to bed. Nighty night.



There's only one thing worse than playing with yourself and that's.... it's.... erm..... Oh, forget it!


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## Artemis (Dec 31, 2004)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> ferny said:
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Theres nothing wrong with playing with yourself...although, I personally would like to play with someone else, or even a group play!

(sorry, but this thread needs reserecting!)


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## ferny (Dec 31, 2004)

You've helped this thread rise admirably tonight Artemis. Although some don't like bumping like this.



And before it went through word 

You've helped this threas irse admirably toinight Artemise. Although some don't like bumping like this.


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## Artemis (Dec 31, 2004)

ferny said:
			
		

> You've helped this thread rise admirably tonight Artemis. Although some don't like bumping like this.
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Dont be silly, everyone likes bumping!


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## ferny (Dec 31, 2004)

There are certain types of bumping people just flat out refuse to great with delight. They get quiet angry at the mere suggestion sometimes.


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## NakedAnt (Dec 31, 2004)

Tonight I'm going to help someone give their pussy a flea dip...but first some cocktails.


Been watching too much "Are You Being Served"


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## MDowdey (Dec 31, 2004)

NakedAnt said:
			
		

> Tonight I'm going to help someone give their pussy a flea dip...but first some cocktails.



if you have to give the pussy a fleadip.....just run the other way bro...just run  


md


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## NakedAnt (Dec 31, 2004)

MDowdey said:
			
		

> NakedAnt said:
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That's nothing, one time, last winter it spent all night spread out in front of the fireplace and burned off all it's hair :shock:


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## NakedAnt (Dec 31, 2004)

Probably souldn't ought to have aroused this beast.


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## MDowdey (Dec 31, 2004)

sometimes a hairless kitty is a good thing....




 

md


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## NakedAnt (Dec 31, 2004)

MDowdey said:
			
		

> sometimes a hairless kitty is a good thing....
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I find they don't scratch quite as much.


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## jadin (Jan 1, 2005)

I reallly want a kitty! But my landlord won't let me. I don't know why he should have any say over the matter, but that's life. :?

Maybe I'll just sneak some in every so often..


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 1, 2005)

I have cats but I hate it when it rains. The number of times I have been woken up in the morning by a wet pussy sitting on my face demanding some attention. But a bit of stroking and petting usually makes them happy enough and then I can go back to sleep....


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## Luminosity (Jan 1, 2005)

I love your sig Hertz :thumbsup:

There *are* some stimulating places on Earth tho .... 
At least , I know theres always thought-provoking fun to be had DownUnder


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 1, 2005)

Luminosity said:
			
		

> I love your sig Hertz :thumbsup:
> 
> There *are* some stimulating places on Earth tho ....
> At least , I know theres always thought-provoking fun to be had DownUnder



It's nice to see you being so open with me, Lumi, but I shall try not to let things get out of hand   :mrgreen:


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## Luminosity (Jan 1, 2005)

Oh I imagine you would be in control of your hand at all times Hertz , no worries  

Submissive hands unite !


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 2, 2005)

Luminosity said:
			
		

> Oh I imagine you would be in control of your hand at all times Hertz , no worries
> 
> Submissive hands unite !



All hands to the pumps, surely?


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## ferny (Jan 2, 2005)

Luminosity said:
			
		

> Oh I imagine you would be in control of your hand at all times Hertz , no worries


And a good job that is to!


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## triggerhappy (Jan 2, 2005)

There's nothing like a good job to send me off to sleep.


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 2, 2005)

ferny said:
			
		

> Luminosity said:
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Not always in control of my mouth though - and my tongue is always getting me into a hole. Have to try and lick this problem but I can't do it on my own....


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## ferny (Jan 2, 2005)

I'm not helping you. I did that once and got myself into a sticky situation.


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## jadin (Jan 2, 2005)

You'll finger it out sooner or later.


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## Hertz van Rental (Jan 2, 2005)

Probably - but one slip and I'm in the s***!


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## Artemis (Nov 27, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Probably - but one slip and I'm in the s***!



Filthy....Filthy...


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 27, 2005)

What on earth made you dig this thread out, Arty? It hasn't taken you this long to think of a reply, surely


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## Artemis (Nov 27, 2005)

I wanted to think of the best reply...thats all...


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## ferny (Nov 27, 2005)

Well, took you a while but you came good.


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 27, 2005)

I thought he was just telling us about the state of his mind....

Or possibly his bed.


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## Artemis (Nov 27, 2005)

I always come out well


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## jadin (Nov 27, 2005)

This thread is so spent...


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## SlySniper (Nov 27, 2005)

I was making a sandwich the other day, when I was out of mayonnaise, so, I just jerked some up.


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## Artemis (Nov 28, 2005)

Is it hard to do SlySniper?


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## jadin (Nov 28, 2005)

Not really. You just have to get him drunk...


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## SlySniper (Nov 28, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

> Is it hard to do SlySniper?


 
Not really.  You just have to get me drunk...



			
				jadin said:
			
		

> Not really. You just have to get him drunk...


 
HEY!  I'm only 15! :x


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## Artemis (Nov 28, 2005)

Your only 15? lol...YOUNGEN!


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 28, 2005)

I thought this thread had a 16 certificate?


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## Artemis (Nov 28, 2005)

I get in with a year to pass w00t!


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## jadin (Nov 28, 2005)

If you're going to play the "age card" what are you doing in a sexual innuendo thread?!? :mrgreen:

Damn kids going to get me arrested...


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 28, 2005)

jadin said:
			
		

> Damn kids going to get me arrested...


 
Again?  

Just kidding before anybody sues me! :shock:


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## Artemis (Nov 28, 2005)

I got handcuffed once...


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 28, 2005)

Artemis said:
			
		

> I got handcuffed once...


 
I've been handcuffed more than once.........................:thumbup:


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## Artemis (Nov 28, 2005)

Aye, its all fun and games till someone gets hurt...


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 28, 2005)

Or you loose the key...............


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## SlySniper (Nov 28, 2005)

Sometimes I get so worked up, I just can't grip the key.


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 28, 2005)

That'll be the lubricant!


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## jadin (Nov 28, 2005)

Slick...


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 28, 2005)

Only if it's on the woman! :shock:


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