# The Only World for Me  (Poem)



## AltLars (Jun 26, 2006)

The Only World for Me​ 
  I stand at the back porch, my eyes searching the stars
  My breath is seen in the cold air, allowing me to see
  I am still alive, still able to be

  I stand at the back porch, letting the chill slip through me
  My arms are crossed, holding me as a child
  Feeling my heartbeat throughout my being

  The world is an overwhelming place
A place I do not want to be
  As I walk back into the warmth
Back into your arms
  I look into you eyes and I find the only world for me

Forever your,
BuddyLars

Larry Braun
AltLars

September 1997 at the age of 40, I was diagnoised with Multiple Myeloma Stage III after 2 years of bone pain.  
Feb 1998 I had an Autologus Stem Cell Transplant, went back to work April 1998...I just could not take anymore Oprah/Jerry Springer.
At the time of my diagnoises, average survival rate was 3 to 5 years.  
Myeloma is not the skin cancer melanoma but a cancer that affects the blood and bone marrow.
I am still able to work, but just recently quit my job of 7 years and I am taking 2 to 3 months off.  Living off of my 401k money.  My two kids are home on leave, both are in the Air Force and both have two children each.  I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.  Sofie is stationed in Belgium and Jason is stationed in Colorado.  
My wife, Inger, is who I wrote about in the above poem.  The world could crash on us, but as long as we have one another we will be okay.  
Do not feel "sorry" for me as I am still healthy and still like to drink a few Old Styles and will knock you on your hind end if you deserve it.  

When I daydream its not about a cure for me...it is about getting a great picture.  A picture that will tell someone that I was here, that I gave a $h!t.  I look forward to everything on the photo forum as I know I will learn and grow.  

A webpage I have started on my own experiences is in its early stage and it is on a free web hosting so there will be a few ads but if you want to jump to it and see what little I have done the link is 
http://myelomacrapola.bravehost.com/
For over a year I sent out a monthly newsletter called "Multiple Myeloma Crapola"  I sold Myeloma Crapola t-shirts to pay for postage and supplies.  The 350+ newsletters were sent free, all over the world.  I did not realize at the time, but I was slowly going into a depression, mostly because I was a suvivor.  That is probably the dumbest thing you have ever read or heard.
Anyway this short poem had opened me up too much and I thought of deleting everything but have decided to send.  
Best to all,
AltLars


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## Antarctican (Jun 26, 2006)

A very moving poem and story. I truly hope you get that great picture that you daydream about.  And I am happy to hear of the strong love and bond you have with your family, for that will get you through the battles you face. Peace be with you.  And thanks for sharing.


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