# Do What??



## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

as i was getting ready for work today, i was thinking of all the really weird saying we hear, and use...and was wondering where in the heck they come from.... so i thought, hey,  some are the same the world over, but some are different....and i thought , bet the ones i know, are not the ones that others know..and visa versa...

so, i thought, lets hear everyones ... and tell us if you know why we say it..

for instance..

i have heard my whole life about being "drunker than cooter brown...."  

now, for years i have heard this saying....and i cant find a single soul who knew ole cooter.... do ya'll??  and did the man never do anything but drink? i never hear, smart as cooter brown... or sneakier than cooter brown... or even pretty as cooter brown... did the guy only drink??  and was he just a hell of a drinker??  could it ultimately be a compliment to drink as much as cooter brown???  did ms cooter brown never do anything??? did his little cooters never rise above their daddy's fame??  these are things i ponder alone in my bathroom putting on make up at 5.30 in the morning.... 

so if you know cooter brown... tell me about him... and if you have sayings your not sure what they mean, lets  share....  
i have also heard things like dumb as a box of rocks... so ugly you had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dogs to play with you... you got the personality of a stump....your like a bull in a china closet....so ugly, you could sit on a stump and hatch a haint....sweating like a whore in church..smaller than a popcorn fart.....etc....

so... lets hear it, i know southerners use alot of descriptions for everything, but i bet every one else does too....i need new ones, and we all need a laugh today...


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## photogoddess (Nov 4, 2005)

Hotter than a $2 whore on dollar day....
She/He's about as sharp as a pound of wet leather....
I'm busier than a one armed man in a butt kicking contest....

I know I've got tons of them but it's just too early to think. I'll try to post more before we leave for the weekend.


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## JonMikal (Nov 4, 2005)

photogoddess said:
			
		

> Hotter than a $2 whore on dollar day....
> She/He's about as sharp as a pound of wet leather....
> I'm busier than a one armed man in a butt kicking contest....
> 
> I know I've got tons of them but it's just too early to think. I'll try to post more before we leave for the weekend.


 
how about busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest :lmao:


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 4, 2005)

"That girl's sweet!


She has a face like a chewed up toffee!"



(Dedicated to my sister! )


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## photogoddess (Nov 4, 2005)

JonMikal said:
			
		

> how about busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest :lmao:



Hey... I said I was tired.


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## JonMikal (Nov 4, 2005)

photogoddess said:
			
		

> Hey... I said I was tired.


 
:mrgreen:


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## Marctwo (Nov 4, 2005)

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp...
Built like a brick $hit-house...
Marks out of 2...
Handbags at dawn...


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> as i was getting ready for work today, i was thinking of all the really weird saying we hear, and use...
> 
> ....so ugly, you could sit on a stump and hatch a haint....


 
My monitor and keyboard are now ruined.  I sprayed sweet tea out my nose over this one ...

OMG ... stop it ... yesterday it was copulating amoeba thanks to terri ... today it's cooters and haints ... I just can't take it anymore!

I'm already crazier than a bessie bug ...


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## JonMikal (Nov 4, 2005)

i'm as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar......sorry, don't know the origin :lmao:


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

I got all cattywhompus over your original post, aprilraven, that I forgot to say:

That put a quiver in my live
wound up tighter than an eight day clock
rode hard and put up wet
full as a tick
he's just as happy as if he had good sense
scarce as hen's teeth

and my personal favorite:

busier than a flea at the pound on a saturday night ...


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

these are great!!  i love 'em...sorry pallie about your key board..my bad...

i remember bessie bug.... love that... never have heard of marks outta 2...or handbags at dawn... those are cool..

ya'll are great.... keep them coming....   i'm getting nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.....

busier than a one armed paper hanger.....         (wall paper...)

cute as a speckled pup.....
blacker than satans soul...( my personal favorite...!!)


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

anicole said:
			
		

> he's just as happy as if he had good sense
> scarce as hen's teeth
> 
> ...



how do you not love those????  scarce as hens teeth...i'm dying here..!! :lmao:    :heart:  :heart: 

how do you not love those??


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> blacker than satans soul


 
mean as satan's momma

preachin' to the choir

you ain't just a woofin' (meaning:  you aren't kidding)


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## M @ k o (Nov 4, 2005)

Well, right now I'm hungrier than a termite in a tin can.


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 4, 2005)

Happy as a pig in muck.


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 4, 2005)

Can you plait snot?


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## terri (Nov 4, 2005)

I'll be faster than a duck on a June bug.

I'll be on you like white on rice.

I'm as happy as a mule eatin' briars.

You look as dirty as a pig in slop. 

My mama gonna knock you into the middle of next week.


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## JonMikal (Nov 4, 2005)

M @ k o said:
			
		

> Well, right now I'm hungrier than a termite in a tin can.


 
:lmao:


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## terri (Nov 4, 2005)

I hear ya cluckin', big chicken.


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## photo gal (Nov 4, 2005)

Not the brightest bulb on the tree.

Colder than a witches *it

Older than dirt!


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## photo gal (Nov 4, 2005)

JonMikal said:
			
		

> i'm as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar......sorry, don't know the origin :lmao:




 :lmao:


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## terri (Nov 4, 2005)

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs...


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

just had a patient tell me a new one... common as pig tracks!!

i had to laugh...

be on you like stink on sh*t...


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

My stepdad says stuff like this all the friggen time, and we're in North Central Illinois.  Most of them I can't repeat here, but he does the 'busier than a one armed paper hanger' one, and 'slicker than snot on a doornob'.  Then there is one about a goat...and one about a burlap sack...but I can't repeat those (or completely remember them)...wait...I think the goat and the burlap sack are the same saying...I dunno...I think he makes a lot of them up.


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## terri (Nov 4, 2005)

About as bright as a box of rocks. 

Dumb as a post. 

Not playing with a full deck of cards.


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

slick as a mole's a$$

worthless as t**s on a boar hawg


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## photo gal (Nov 4, 2005)

~When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.


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## M @ k o (Nov 4, 2005)

Well, I just ate. 

Now I'm fuller thanna two headed bully goat.


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

M @ k o said:
			
		

> Well, I just ate.
> 
> Now I'm fuller thanna two headed bully goat.


 
there's another one about a billy goat that is just not suitable ... but funny nonetheless!


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## mygrain (Nov 4, 2005)

Queerer than a football bat. (queer in the literal sense..not that there's anything wrong with that).

Colder than a witch's titty.

I've heard of cooter brown before...I do know that "cooter" means turtle in southern lingo. maybe google can help...brb...

DRUNK AS COOTER BROWN - adj. phrase. Also "drunk as Cooter, ~ Cooty Brown. Chiefly South. Very intoxicated. "This is a Black expression very familiar to the informant, who is from New Jersey. She says it is current and, so far as she knows, it 'came up with the Blacks from the Carolinas.' She thinks it probably derives from some proverbial drunkard." From "Dictionary of American Regional English," Volume 1 by Frederic G. Cassidy (1985, Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Cambridge, Mass., and London, England). Page 769-770.


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

hey pallie, isnt that hotter than a two p*tterd billy goat???

and you gotta love  poor than job's turkey....
or poor as a church mouse....
blacker than the ace of spades...

when your doing real well... your sh*ttin' in high cotton... 
or if your really doing well... your eating high on the hawg...

snow is a**hole deep to a tall injun'......( we are indian, so please dont take offense.)
colder than a well diggers rear....

what about  well i'll be dad blamed.....( you think there is something there about fatherhood??)

bumfuzzeled??  ever hear that?    

my father used to say:
i've been to a state fair, a county fair, a howg calling, goat ropin', and a road paving, and never seen anything like that before........( always made me bust out laughing..)

oooh... and that poor guy's teeth were so bad, he could eat corn thru a pick-ed fence...


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## mygrain (Nov 4, 2005)

"He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground."
or a variation "he doesn't know his ass from his elbow".


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> hey pallie, isnt that hotter than a two p*tterd billy goat???
> 
> ..



That's it! That made me remember the dirty goat one my stepdad always says!


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

you know, some of these i say daily and dont think of them as things to jot down...

funny ole world, 'eh?

thanks for adding all of ya'lls ......its so great to read these...ya'll have cracked me up..

oh...and i forgot this one,

butter my butt and call me a biscuit......

"and what does that have to do with the price of eggs in china???"


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> butter my butt and call me a biscuit......


 
Please ... I'm begging ... don't make me go there ...  





			
				aprilraven said:
			
		

> "and what does that have to do with the price of eggs in china???"


 
It's tea, babe ... tea.     you should know since we pay the property taxes at Sonic!!


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## Verbal (Nov 4, 2005)

Hangin' in there like a hair on a biscuit.


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

anicole said:
			
		

> Please ... I'm begging ... don't make me go there ...
> 
> 
> 
> ...




amen, sister on the tea tax...but you live a little north of me, so i guess you may say tea...we all have said eggs in china... tea is just to....normal for me.
(leave it alone, pallie... i have you tomorrow all day..and i will be driving!!)


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## Chiller (Nov 4, 2005)

Smells like a hooker at a garden party
   Off like a brides garter belt. 
  More fun then a barrel of monkeys...(still dont get that one).


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## mygrain (Nov 4, 2005)

Chiller said:
			
		

> More fun then a barrel of monkeys...(still dont get that one).



 I don't think I could think of anything more fun than a barrel of monkeys...well maybe two barrels... :lmao:


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

Chiller said:
			
		

> Smells like a hooker at a garden party


 
oh hell ... just spit more tea through my nose!



quicker than a 16 year old's first time in the back seat


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## Verbal (Nov 4, 2005)

anicole said:
			
		

> quicker than a 16 year old's first time in the back seat



Rofl!  Now it's my turn, I got latte out my nose.  Bloody heck.

Here's my personal favorite... "sticks out like a wookie at an ewok family reunion"


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

Verbal said:
			
		

> Rofl!  Now it's my turn, I got latte out my nose.  Bloody heck.
> 
> Here's my personal favorite... "sticks out like a wookie at an ewok family reunion"



Uh oh! NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT! (don't worry, that just means you're like us)


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## Verbal (Nov 4, 2005)

core_17 said:
			
		

> Uh oh! NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT! (don't worry, that just means you're like us)



Oh my... You have NO idea.

What if I told you that when I wake up, I'm staring into the underbelly of the Mellinium Falcon?


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

Pics?


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

Verbal said:
			
		

> Oh my... You have NO idea.
> 
> What if I told you that when I wake up, I'm staring into the underbelly of the Mellinium Falcon?




i'd say, sounds like heaven..........

loved the wookie thing, never heard that.....cool!

oh..and tea or latte thru the nose...??? guess we are just having another day in paradise...

livin the dream.....


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## Verbal (Nov 4, 2005)

core_17 said:
			
		

> Pics?



You got it!

My bed is below the Falcon... I found this in my scraps folder, 'cause I'm too lazy to take a new one. 





And this is my replica...just for good measure.


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

Hehehe...awesome!


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## mentos_007 (Nov 4, 2005)

you guys are amazing!! thank you1!! do you know what I did?? I copied all those proverbs, if I can call them so, and printed.... now they are on my wall and I hope to learn them and use somewhen  
cheers


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## Verbal (Nov 4, 2005)

mentos_007 said:
			
		

> you guys are amazing!! thank you1!! do you know what I did?? I copied all those proverbs, if I can call them so, and printed.... now they are on my wall and I hope to learn them and use somewhen
> cheers



Haha, awesome!


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

mentos_007 said:
			
		

> you guys are amazing!! thank you1!! do you know what I did?? I copied all those proverbs, if I can call them so, and printed.... now they are on my wall and I hope to learn them and use somewhen
> cheers



BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We can call them the Ancient Proverbs of the American Hillbilly!


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## mentos_007 (Nov 4, 2005)

that's a great source of knowledge... both... about you language and culture as well  
that was great fun to read those proverbs especially that in my tongue they make completely no sense! or mean even rubbish 
buahahahahhahaha


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

They don't make all that much sense in OUR tounge!  So don't feel bad!


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

american hillbillie???  we are now educated... we are called hill-williams... thankyouverymuch....

there are so many great sayings, and i dont think we scratched the surface.....hopefull we will add more......!!


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## Marctwo (Nov 4, 2005)

core_17 said:
			
		

> We can call them the Ancient Proverbs of the American Hillbilly!


Hmmm... You've got to look *both* ways when you cross the road, luv!


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

Marctwo said:
			
		

> Hmmm... You've got to look *both* ways when you cross the road, luv!



Huh? Am I duller than cousin Ed's tooth, cuz I don't get it?


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## Marctwo (Nov 4, 2005)

Yes. :meh:


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## anicole (Nov 4, 2005)

core_17 said:
			
		

> Huh? Am I duller than cousin Ed's tooth, cuz I don't get it?


 
thinkin' I'm dumb as a bucket of wet hair ... I don't get it either ... but this has been killer.

I gotta tell ya'll, aprilraven is THE funniest person in the world.  I can only aspire to be worthy to be in her presence ... 

wonder what she'll come up with next?


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## aprilraven (Nov 4, 2005)

pahleese.... you put me and you together, and we are an overdose waiting to happen..
we have had people put in psych wards after having dinner with us....( member that time in tripoli???)

thanks pallie for compliment... i'm not funny..i just think all the serious people are funny..they crack me up....
but i will work on an idea on a new thread...this was fun...
you've been a great audience...
tip your waitress, i am here all week..in vegas on third and fourth..!!  GOOD NIGHT!


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 4, 2005)

Maybe I should have stayed away from this one but anyway here goes!


"He's about as much use as a Plastic Spanner!" :blushing:


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## Marctwo (Nov 4, 2005)

Ahhh... the penny drops.


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## Chiller (Nov 4, 2005)

.....its raining cats and dogs.




                                           ...I know, I just stepped in a poodle.


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## mentos_007 (Nov 4, 2005)

buahahahaha guys!!!!  
ok.. I'll translate something from Polish: "It's bented as if it was taken from the dogs mouth"


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## tmpadmin (Nov 4, 2005)

I heard it was - colder than a witch's T-t in Nebraska. 

Gotta head out like a fetus

Off like a prom dress

That will go over like a lead balloon

I do not know if this one counts but I always loved the expression "little man on the boat"

My mother always says "Well I'll be dipped in Sh!t" - Only recently have I decided to visualize that.



I have more but my son just told me I have to get off the computer. So I'll split like a banana, and be back after I kick the wife and kiss the dog.

Just thought of another - "she's been hit a few times with the ugly stick"


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 4, 2005)

He's so mean he wouldn't p*ss in your ear if your brains were on fire.

Never challenge a three legged man to an arse kicking contest.

She's got a belting pair of legs (because one leg belts hell out of the other when she walks).

A face like a sack of spanners.

I've flushed more intelligent things down the toilet.

I've seen more organised things lying around on the bottom of ponds.

And my all-time favourite question to ask pianists in cocktail bars (and it got me thrown out of every single one) - Do you do requests?


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## Corry (Nov 4, 2005)

Just heard this on the Simpsons when describing a bear: 

"he can tear through a tree like a jewish mother through self-esteem"


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## tmpadmin (Nov 5, 2005)

I remembered some more:

"Wish in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one gets filled the fastest." 
"so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her" 
"I had to go shake the dew off the lily" 
"I'd eat the peanuts out of her sh!t"
"built like a brick **** house" 
"time to get a little honey for my stinger"
"She's got some junk in the trunk"


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## hobbes28 (Nov 5, 2005)

"Looks like you were hit in the face with a bag of hot quarters"
"teeth look like you've been chewing on rocks"
"you smell worse than a bowl full of smashed ***holes."

That's about all I have for now.


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## LizM (Nov 5, 2005)

mygrain said:
			
		

> "He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground."
> or a variation "he doesn't know his ass from his elbow".


 
And "couldn't find his own ass with both hands and a compass"


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## 'Daniel' (Nov 5, 2005)

I actually know where "raining cats and dogs" comes from

It's from a time (medieval)  when people had fires and thattched roofs.  The roofs were warm so cats and dogs used to go up onto the roof because it was nice and warm.  But then when it started to rain they all ame running of the roof falling to the ground and then running inside and that's where it came from.


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## PlasticSpanner (Nov 5, 2005)

Daniel said:
			
		

> I actually know where "raining cats and dogs" comes from
> 
> It's from a time (medieval) when people had fires and thattched roofs. The roofs were warm so cats and dogs used to go up onto the roof because it was nice and warm. But then when it started to rain they all ame running of the roof falling to the ground and then running inside and that's where it came from.


 
At Last!:thumbup: 

Thanks for that! 

(I see you've moved to Manchester now! )


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 5, 2005)

Daniel said:
			
		

> I actually know where "raining cats and dogs" comes from
> 
> It's from a time (medieval)  when people had fires and thattched roofs.  The roofs were warm so cats and dogs used to go up onto the roof because it was nice and warm.  But then when it started to rain they all ame running of the roof falling to the ground and then running inside and that's where it came from.


Yes. I seem to remember that was a problem. My Uncle Ralph got concussed by a Dachsund...


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## aprilraven (Nov 5, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Yes. I seem to remember that was a problem. My Uncle Ralph got concussed by a Dachsund...




ok..that one had me busting out loud....( a dachsund!!) 

and chiller, stepped in a poodle hits a bit close to home...i have four real ones...

some of ya'll are killing me here.. i love these...gotta use a few for a change...mine are getting old...

i heard this big ole boy once say, " i sh*t things bigger than you..." (yeah, thats attractive.....there's a thought during dinner...)

please keep them coming... i have heard a ton of new ones since i started this, and i keep thinking, gotta put that on....


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## tmpadmin (Nov 6, 2005)

"You can tell him to go sh!t in his hat at that price"
"whoowe!  That's a stink that will drop the fur off a skunk in heat"


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## jstuedle (Nov 6, 2005)

Q) How are you today?
A) Better than I was when I was worse off.


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## mentos_007 (Nov 6, 2005)

omg... fantastic  I wonderf if I'm ever going to use them ... 3 pages of A4 paper printed and are on my wall... I've already rememberd 18 "sayings"... I just wonder what will my english teacher (he's english) say...


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## aprilraven (Nov 6, 2005)

my husband has added one for this, 
thats so bad, it will make a buzzard puke off a gut wagon..!!! ( yeah, he is a redneck..can ya tell???)

oh, and have you heard mind your p's and q's..? according to HIM (said husband who reads too much and obviously retains more than i do..)  said it came from england..
( the country, not england, arkansas.... just in case some may get confused..)  

 in english pubs...ale is served in pints and quarts....when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down... hense the shorter version to mind their p's and q's...... 

so... tad bit of trivia...

there is also:

 horse of a different color...
i feel like 'ned' in the first reader.... 
when its time to go, my spoue usually says, its time to call in the dogs and piss on the fire..( he's so fun at parties......aha..aha...ahumm.... bless his heart.....)

he's f***'d up worse than hogan's goat...(another husband tag along... means the dude is messed up bad.... dont know who hogan is, and why his goat is screwed...)
he's tighter than dick's hat band...( dick must have head wear issues...make up your own jokes....)

flatter than day old beer...( usually refering to a chicks anatomy...)
i've seen better head on lettuce.....

i know here in the south, when the weather is getting ugly, we all seem to say, there's a cloud acomin' up...

when you get a chill all of a sudden outta the blue, we say a 'possum musta walked over your grave....

oh.. oh.. and why when people have died, do family members tend to say," well, last week we lost uncle bill...."  doesnt it sound like you just misplaced him?? we lost him?? does that mean we might find him again ?? what is that deal...? 

ah..one of my personal favorites,

that went thru me like sauce thru a widder woman...( dont know why being a widder (widow) makes things go thru you faster, but ..go figure...)


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## Hertz van Rental (Nov 7, 2005)

aprilraven said:
			
		

> in english pubs...ale is served in pints *and quarts*....


Quarts? Not for more than 150 years it hasn't.


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## aprilraven (Nov 7, 2005)

Hertz van Rental said:
			
		

> Quarts? Not for more than 150 years it hasn't.



laugh at me, you onery sucker..... :mrgreen: 

actually, he showed me the article on this...but you know how media is...they did say pints and quarts, i thought that might be medium and large for us... but since i dont drink.. i have no idea..( and i have never been to england.....  )

did you know the saying?? is it english, or is that wrong too????  

(oh, and hi hertz......how are you??)


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## tmpadmin (Nov 7, 2005)

Aprilraven you reminded me of some:
"I've seen better eyes on potatos"
"slower than molases on a cold day"

"its time to call in the dogs and piss on the fire" 

Mentos, can you post your list? I'm too lazy to copy and paste myself.


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## aprilraven (Nov 7, 2005)

tmpadmin said:
			
		

> Mentos, can you post your list? I'm too lazy to copy and paste myself.



dont ya hate to copy and paste yourself?? its so messy......and hard to explain....

and what do you mean, I remind you of those....

have you ever seen my eyes???? 
they really dont look like potates...silly admin...  they tend to favor 
marty feldman eyes, thankyouverymuch....... (giggle giggle)

have you heard:

one brick shy of a load??? 

i think they are half a bubble off plumb...( carpentry term...)  

elevator doesnt go all the way to the top...
both oars aren't in the water...
their breads half baked...
thier egg is a little cracked...( or scrambled...)


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## tmpadmin (Nov 7, 2005)

tmpadmin said:
			
		

> Aprilraven you remind*ed* me of some:
> "I've seen better eyes on potatos"
> "slower than molases on a cold day"
> 
> ...


 
You didn't notice the ED in remindED.  Who's Ed now?

"One card short of a full deck"
"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose."


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