# no, i will NOT take a photo with your camera!!!!!



## photowoman (Sep 27, 2009)

I am a petite, 30 year old woman who looks like she still belongs in high school...
... and I am having a problem with guests taking me seriously!
Recently, I was shooting a photo of the bride and her parents at the reception.
The mother walks over to me, tries to hand me her camera, and says "can you take one with mine?"
NO I WILL NOT TAKE ONE WITH YOURS!!!!!!!!!!
I am not some KID! I am the person your daughter HIRED to take her WEDDING PICTURES!!! 
I was very graceful and courteous, telling her that the bride would have a copy of photo I took, and she was welcome to order her own.
AND SHE WAS MAD!!!!!!
SO:
1) how can i handle this in the future? better yet,
HOW CAN I STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO ME????


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## Big (Sep 27, 2009)

"No habla English?" And then take a picture with _your_ camera...


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## photowoman (Sep 27, 2009)

Big said:


> "No habla English?" And then take a picture with _your_ camera...


 

While that would be creative, the woman heard me talking to the wedding party all day....   i don't think that would fly... haha.. made me laugh, though.  thanks.


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## Big (Sep 27, 2009)

Haha I know, I was in the joking mood. lol


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## photo28 (Sep 27, 2009)

ME NO HABLA INGLES BITCHES! TU HABLA ESPANOL O POLSKE? AQUI? HASTA LUEGO 

Really though, just say your daughter hired me to take pictures of her with my high end camera and experience and I'd like to take as many pictures of her and make her as happy as possible.


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## smn_xps (Sep 27, 2009)

How about this:

Sure, I'd be glad to! But I've haven't used a camera like this before... then cut off the top of her head just a bit. 

BTW this has nothing to do with taking you seriously, it has to do with not wanting to buy another copy for herself. 

good luck
jerry


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## icassell (Sep 27, 2009)

Wear an ID badge around  your neck that says PHOTOGRAPHER????


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## c.cloudwalker (Sep 27, 2009)

Wow! That's a new one on me. But I'm not sure it has much to do with what you look like. Not in this particular case anyway.

How about: "I'd be happy to when I'm finished with my work." and if she tries to hand you her camera, just add: "hold on to it please, it's going to be a while." with a smile of course.


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## Big (Sep 27, 2009)

photo28 said:


> ME NO HABLA INGLES BITCHES! TU HABLA ESPANOL O POLSKE? AQUI? HASTA LUEGO
> 
> Really though, just say your daughter hired me to take pictures of her with my high end camera and experience and I'd like to take as many pictures of her and make her as happy as possible.


I knew someone would correct me on my Spanish!


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## photo28 (Sep 27, 2009)

Big said:


> photo28 said:
> 
> 
> > ME NO HABLA INGLES BITCHES! TU HABLA ESPANOL O POLSKE? AQUI? HASTA LUEGO
> ...



 Well I am around a bunch of people who speak it and take classes so I guess I don't count  I'm not sure why I added asking if they speak polish too though


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## Big (Sep 27, 2009)

photo28 said:


> Big said:
> 
> 
> > photo28 said:
> ...


You'd think I'd know how to speak it better since the Walmart near me seems like a different country... Anyway back to helping Photowoman!


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## beni_hung (Sep 27, 2009)

smn_xps said:


> How about this:
> 
> *Sure, I'd be glad to! But I've haven't used a camera like this before... then cut off the top of her head just a bit.*
> 
> ...




 This is what I would do. I'm keeping this in mind :greenpbl:


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## CSR Studio (Sep 27, 2009)

c.cloudwalker said:


> Wow! That's a new one on me. But I'm not sure it has much to do with what you look like. Not in this particular case anyway.
> 
> How about: "I'd be happy to when I'm finished with my work." and if she tries to hand you her camera, just add: "hold on to it please, it's going to be a while." with a smile of course.


 
I would go with what cloudwalker said, then just smile and walk away.


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## NateWagner (Sep 27, 2009)

I don't get it? it will take you 2 seconds to take a picture... why not just do it? I mean, it's at the reception, so there's probably some time, and this is the MOTHER who usually helps pay for everything I mean, she's pretty important in the whole wedding thing, if at all possible I would suggest trying to stay on her good side even if that means using her camera and taking a picture. 

It's important for them to understand that you're a professional, but they probably think, well, he/she's really good at taking pictures and that's why they want you to take them. I wouldn't take it as an insult, just take it as a compliment.


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## PhotoXopher (Sep 27, 2009)

> The *mother* walks over to me, tries to hand me her camera, and says "can you take one with mine?"



Answer:

I'd be delighted.

If it were some random guest that may be different - but the mother of either side, I'd try and keep them happy.


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## DennyCrane (Sep 27, 2009)

You could always wear one of these:


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## UUilliam (Sep 27, 2009)

The point of the matter is, Photowoman is selling her photos to the wedding party, If she takes a picture on the P&S then that is a picture no-one will have to pay for
Also if the P&S ends up being rubbish, the image comes out rubbish (grain/noise and all) then it is photowoman who gets called a bad photog, modern day, a good photo (by unknowledgable people) is a photo with no noise that is super sharp


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## Josh66 (Sep 27, 2009)

photowoman said:


> 1) how can i handle this in the future? better yet,
> HOW CAN I STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO ME????



Tell her that you'd be happy to do it once you're off the clock?

If they don't get the hint, be less subtle.


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## photo28 (Sep 27, 2009)

Big said:


> photo28 said:
> 
> 
> > Big said:
> ...



:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Same thing here... same with the burger king and everyone around it in that area.


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## KmH (Sep 27, 2009)

Big said:


> You'd think I'd know how to speak it better since the Walmart near me seems like a different country...


What a thoughtless and offensive statement.

Edit: and the replies in a similar vein.


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## photo28 (Sep 27, 2009)

KmH said:


> Big said:
> 
> 
> > You'd think I'd know how to speak it better since the Walmart near me seems like a different country...
> ...



Nothing offensive was intended, I don't see whats wrong with saying that one part of a neighborhood is entirely a different "click", whether it be chinese, spanish, polish, german, italian, or jewish.


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## photo28 (Sep 27, 2009)

It may be hard for you to understand since you don't live here - people say much worse about that part of town, trust me. 

If I were to be offensive I'd say that's where all the poor... going around stealing things. i think that is wrong. Not what I nor what Big said. But also, the offensive thing that I said that people say, may be the truth, thus a harsh statement of reality.


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## NateWagner (Sep 27, 2009)

Again, if it's the *Mother* then do whatever you can, and if that includes taking a picture of her and her daughter with her camera then go for it. 

If pissing off the mother means you lose referrals that is a heck of a lot more lost money wise than a print or two. 

Also, I *Highly* doubt that the mother will say, well, the photographer took this one with my camera and it turned out poorly, he/she must be terrible. Especially when you have all of the great images to show them that you did.


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## Derrel (Sep 27, 2009)

I agree with the poster who wrote, "Sure, I'd be glad to! But I've haven't used a camera like this before... then cut off the top of her head just a bit. ":thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:


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## craig (Sep 28, 2009)

I fully agree with Nate and Noyze. I say do not bite the hand that feeds.

Love & Bass


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## boogschd (Sep 28, 2009)

NateWagner said:


> I don't get it? it will take you 2 seconds to take a picture... why not just do it? I mean, it's at the reception, so there's probably some time, and this is the MOTHER who usually helps pay for everything I mean, she's pretty important in the whole wedding thing, if at all possible I would suggest trying to stay on her good side even if that means using her camera and taking a picture.
> 
> It's important for them to understand that you're a professional, but they probably think, well, he/she's really good at taking pictures and that's why they want you to take them. I wouldn't take it as an insult, just take it as a compliment.




^that ... 
idk get why its offensive :/
(sorry i dont do photography professionally so i wouldnt really know  )


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## MBasile (Sep 28, 2009)

NateWagner said:


> I don't get it? it will take you 2 seconds to take a picture... why not just do it? I mean, it's at the reception, so there's probably some time, and this is the MOTHER who usually helps pay for everything I mean, she's pretty important in the whole wedding thing, if at all possible I would suggest trying to stay on her good side even if that means using her camera and taking a picture.
> 
> It's important for them to understand that you're a professional, but they probably think, well, he/she's really good at taking pictures and that's why they want you to take them. I wouldn't take it as an insult, just take it as a compliment.



It seems to me that the mother trying to get a picture with her camera is a attempt (conscious or subconscious) to undercut the printing costs of the professional photos.


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## jbylake (Sep 28, 2009)

I think I would have grabbed the closest long neck beer bottle and split her head wide open.  A pair of brass knucks would do nicely for her dental work, or re-work.  When she goes down, kick her continuously in the gut until she is permanetly fixed in the fetal position.

Then send her a get well card to the intensive care unit, and offer to get her a discount on colostomy bags.

I hang around too many biker bars.

Just kiddin,

J.:mrgreen:


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## Lyncca (Sep 28, 2009)

NateWagner said:


> Again, if it's the *Mother* then do whatever you can, and if that includes taking a picture of her and her daughter with her camera then go for it.
> 
> If pissing off the mother means you lose referrals that is a heck of a lot more lost money wise than a print or two.
> 
> Also, I *Highly* doubt that the mother will say, well, the photographer took this one with my camera and it turned out poorly, he/she must be terrible. Especially when you have all of the great images to show them that you did.


 
See, I am going to agree with Nate here. I have had this happen and if we have time, we will take the freaking picture. It usually happens during the family formals, so you aren't missing a cake cutting or something. 

In our case, the couple receives a disk of the photos as part of the service (no not shoot and burn), fully edited pictures, so we aren't losing a sell from taking some crappy P&S picture.

Now, I did have at a wedding a lady in a scooter say, "EXCUSE ME!" while I was taking some photos of the couple and she said, "YOU ARE IN THE WAY OF MY PICTURE!" I said, "oh, pardon me!" and started laughing. It was so rediculous I couldn't even bother getting mad. LOL

By the way, at one particular wedding we were approached more than once and thanked for being so nice about others taking pictures around us and that we would be recommended to their friends because of our friendly and professional attitude.


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## Flash Harry (Sep 28, 2009)

I tell them I have enough to think about with my own equipment without starting on theirs. Whether its the brides mother or not, weddings are too busy to fanny with anyone elses stuff, if they can't do it they should leave the camera at home and buy the pro's work. H


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## Plato (Sep 28, 2009)

photowoman said:


> I am a petite, 30 year old woman who looks like she still belongs in high school...
> ... and I am having a problem with guests taking me seriously!
> Recently, I was shooting a photo of the bride and her parents at the reception.
> The mother walks over to me, tries to hand me her camera, and says "can you take one with mine?"
> ...



Elevator shoes?

Or...
"I'm really sorry but I really need to get the official pictures done and I don't have time to spare."


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## icassell (Sep 28, 2009)

Flash your flash right in her eyes -- "oops sorry" -- blind her -- and she'll leave you alone ...


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## Battou (Sep 28, 2009)

DennyCrane said:


> You could always wear one of these:




Actually I was thinking something similar but a little more practcal. Like a simple laminated badge dealie with the photographers name and place of business.


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## Enough Already (Sep 28, 2009)

MBasile said:


> It seems to me that the mother trying to get a picture with her camera is a attempt (conscious or subconscious) to undercut the printing costs of the professional photos.


 
Exactly. There is always so much objection to people doing stuff for next to nothing and for nothing yet its ok to take a photo with someones camera so they can get a $2 8x10 from Walmart. "Im sure you would be much happier with a photo of you and your daughter taken with my equipment". You cant stop people asking though, thats the hard part.


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## BKMOOD (Sep 29, 2009)

My response would have been: "Aw, sorry. Union rules say I can only shoot with union approved cameras."


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## MikeBookPro (Sep 29, 2009)

Some of the responses in this thread have left me absolutely dumb-struck!  It's the MOTHER of the BRIDE.  I vote for "Of course!", grab the camera, take a photo, and get back to work.  I think anything else is a HUGE mistake.


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## UUilliam (Sep 29, 2009)

Exactly it is the *mother* of the bride

Women are con artists, they will rob you from under your nose because *you should always respect women*.

you could always say "sorry, I'm not insured for your equipment if I damage it, I dont want to take that risk."

or "You can take just as good a picture as me with that camera, just point and click"

Why do people think that photographers have magic powers to make things work better than they are?!?!

I remember taking a picture of my mum
and she was like "Your rubbish, I look fat in that pciture"
my responce...
"you are fat though, The camera records what it sees..."

that shut her up.


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## thriveCanada (Sep 29, 2009)

For diplomacy sake, I would take the picture. This is the mother after all, and not a guest on a back table of the dining room.  Having said that, I would grab-snap-give back and be back to my work.


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## NateWagner (Sep 29, 2009)

Battou said:


> Actually I was thinking something similar but a little more practcal. Like a simple laminated badge dealie with the photographers name and place of business.



you could do this, but I don't think it would serve the purpose. 

Because it is the mother, I am sure that by the time the reception comes around she already knows that you are the photographer. It is not a case of mistaken identity, instead it is a case of the person not realizing that you are busy. Again, take the picture, it takes two seconds and you're done.

As far as undercutting the cost, come on. Assuming that you do processing to the images afterwards, and that you do a better job handling the light than her P&S then your shot should end up much better than the shot with her camera. She will probably still buy your image. 

Besides if you don't take the picture what is she going to do? Most likely she is going to go to a friend and have them take the same picture. I mean, this picture was of the bride, and her parents, and one of the parents wanted a copy on her own camera. My hunch is that it's probably something she wanted to have right away and not have to wait, and something that she could show people at the office the next day.


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## jbylake (Sep 29, 2009)

MikeBookPro said:


> Some of the responses in this thread have left me absolutely dumb-struck! It's the MOTHER of the BRIDE. I vote for "Of course!", grab the camera, take a photo, and get back to work. I think anything else is a HUGE mistake.


 
So, I guess the long neck beer bottle scenario is out of the question then?

J.:mrgreen:


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## zoogirlbc (Sep 29, 2009)

As a hobby photographer and a recent bride, I have to chime in on this one. Mothers (ok women in general) who are perfectly normal otherwise seem to get crazy during weddings. I know, my best friend and sister did. I would say go on the side of making everyone happy. Customer service is part of your job even as an artist. We were so lucky with our photographer - we had 3 of our own Nikon DSLR's going. We took over 4000 of our own pics and still paid him for his services/pictures (we bought a package that included a disk of all our edited prints). He did a fantastic job. I doubt that would be a regular request at all weddings anyways.


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## misol (Sep 30, 2009)

Actually you could say something about how you are only allowed to use camera's you brought...like it isnt your call.

But I get it.  I am a girl too and look younger then I am.  People try to step all over me and when I refused to allow it, they act like I am a raging *****.  If I was a guy, first they wouldnt try it.  Second if I said no, they would be cool with it.  Its a rough situation.

I would have been bothered but have taken on just to keep the peace.  If she or anyone asked again, I would have explained that it was going to really cut into my ability to make money off this shoot.  They may be trying to rip you off (they were) but I doubt they would keep asking if you pointed it out


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## NateWagner (Sep 30, 2009)

I have seen what you are talking about with regards to how if a woman acts strongly or stands up for herself she is considered a bit*h. 
However, I have also encountered similar situations and I assure you that they would still think a guy was a jerk if he did not take the picture with their camera. 

Also, with regards to explaining it would cut into your ability to make money off the shoot, I *NEVER* want to talk about money in any way at a wedding or event. The day is about the bride, it is her day and that's where the focus should be. You don't want to give the impression that you are pinching them for every penny you can get from them when they have already paid you a substantial sum (in their eyes) for you to be there at all. 

If you're able to do the conversation in private, maybe you could get away with it (though I wouldn't recommend it). But what happens if the mother causes a scene, the bride will probably be pissed, because the day is about her, and any referrals you would have gotten are long gone. 

Take the picture, and move on.


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## zerofourtwo (Sep 30, 2009)

I would explain to the mother that the bride and groom spent good money for your time and services and that your time is very limited, also that you would like be able to stand up to the original agreement with the bride and groom to deliver high quality photos that only high end equipment can produce.

By the way, situations like this are always gonna happen from time to time at weddings, and some times no matter how you respond your gonna upset someone, you just have to stay polite and blow it off. Your at their wedding to work, not make friends.


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## Christie Photo (Sep 30, 2009)

NateWagner said:


> I don't get it? it will take you 2 seconds to take a picture... why not just do it?



What a great perspective.

I routinely do it.  I've helped others who are shooting over my shoulder if they wait until I've finished mine.  AND, on occasion, I've made the offer first saying, "Let me make one with yours."

Good goin', Nate.  You're a good man.

-Pete


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## msf (Oct 1, 2009)

I do like the idea of saying you cant because of insurrance reasons, which will be the truth.  I also like the idea of cutting off the head or something "by accident" after saying yoru not familiar with the camera.  Perhaps mess with the exposure or settings before hand to. 

Hehe, or perhaps say sure, but the cost of the prints will go up 20% to make up for the possible loss.  Jk about that one.


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## Renol (Oct 2, 2009)

I'll throw my 2 cents in here. 

If it were me, I would decide based on how I was asked. If she was rude and demanding and interrupting shots then I wouldn't help her. If she asked nicely inbetween shots when the camera is away from my face, then I would consider doing it for her after my shots were done. 

Still, the point about being paid for a certain level of quality is certainly very important. At the same time, the whole future referrals and possibility of causing a scene certainly do come into play. So I guess the reality is that its a can of worms. Granted the potential for bad things happening is less when you take the one picture than if you refuse.


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