# you know what Off Topic is missing?



## lostprophet

A good old fashioned 'flirty thread' 

So...... what are you lovely ladies doing tonight?


----------



## Arch

thinking of you


----------



## nabero




----------



## lostprophet




----------



## Antarctican




----------



## zendianah

:lmao:


----------



## blackdoglab

:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :hug:: :hug:: Hey gals, you give me a mile of smiles. (insert wolf whistle here)    :mrgreen: :hugs: :blushing:  :lmao: :hail:  :hug::


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## ashfordphoto

I can only hope that this gets amazingly creepy.


----------



## blackdoglab

> I can only hope that this gets amazingly creepy.


 
Yer wantin' creepy are ya?


----------



## GoM

ashfordphoto said:


> I can only hope that this gets amazingly creepy.



Your only hope's waiting in the closet with a video recorder


----------



## ashfordphoto

ldman:


----------



## nabero

^^ nice tush

:lmao:


----------



## EBphotography

So ladies....are you a parking ticket?






























Because damn, y'all have fine written all over ya.


----------



## ashfordphoto

nabero said:


> ^^ nice tush
> 
> :lmao:


 

:heart: :blushing:


----------



## nabero




----------



## CMan

_*How you doin'? :mrgreen: *_


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## Corry

YOU STARTED A FLIRT THREAD WITHOUT ME!!!????

But...but...THAT WAS MEAN!! How could you leave me out!? 

*sniff sniff*


----------



## GoM

CMan said:


> _*How you doin'? :mrgreen: *_



mamma's chicken salad, thank yoouuuu very much


----------



## ferny

Archangel said:


> thinking of you



You're a bird? Wahey!


----------



## Arch

ferny said:


> You're a bird? Wahey!



not quite.... but i could dress like one if its better for you...




...... btw the costume shop only has penguins so that will have to do


----------



## Antarctican

OMG, was about to ask for pics of you dressed as a bird.....then saw the punchline!! Coffee is now alllllllll over the monitor. Didn't see that one coming at all.


----------



## Arch

of course i wasnt going to say any other species while your around


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## Antarctican

Can't decide which is a more interesting pic ....Arch as a 'bird' in high heels and a dress, or Arch as a penguin.


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## Rayna'

Antarctican said:


> Can't decide which is a more interesting pic ....Arch as a 'bird' in high heels and a dress, or Arch as a penguin.


 

either one would work for me.


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## Corry

Antarctican said:


> Can't decide which is a more interesting pic ....Arch as a 'bird' in high heels and a dress, or Arch as a penguin.



  I'm sorry...I know this isn't what you were going for....

...but I just visualized Arch as BIG BIRD in high heels and a dress!


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## lostprophet

you lot are all sick in the head!


----------



## Tangerini

seriously who is gonna come clean my monitor?  I think this thread should come with a warning *Do not read while drinking any beverages*


----------



## morydd

Yeah, but I haven't been drinking beverages and I need someone to "clean my monitor"


----------



## nabero




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## Rayna'

y'all are so bad!


----------



## nabero

...says the woman with the whip


----------



## zendianah

tee hee?  handcuffs anyone?


----------



## zendianah

oh wait.. thats the fireman/police officer thread..


----------



## nabero

you crack me up, zen   :lmao:


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## Corry

Y'all have dirty minds! 

He just meant that his monitor needs cleaned now because his cat already did it's version of monitor cleaning: 

http://60gp.ovh.net/~cleanyou/


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## zendianah

:lmao: 
Is that coming from "the seductive spamstress" ? 

hmmmm....


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## Corry

zendianah said:


> :lmao:
> Is that coming from "the seductive spamstress" ?
> 
> hmmmm....



I have a perfectly clean and uncorrupted mind.  Just ask any of my chat buddies.  :bigangel:


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## zendianah

Nice!!!  and really (hint of sarcasm) I'll believe them!!  

Its fun to be bad sometimes.


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## Hertz van Rental

I was flirty once - then I hit florty and headed towards flifty.


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## Antarctican

ldman: It's okay, you've still got it (and the neighbours have asked that you quit flaunting it)


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## Rayna'

if you got it, flaunt it!


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## Hertz van Rental

Antarctican said:


> It's okay, you've still got it



Not any more. The judge made me give it back.


----------



## lostprophet

Corry said:


> I have a perfectly clean and uncorrupted mind.  Just ask any of my chat buddies.  :bigangel:



*still sat shivering in the corner rocking gently back and forth*


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## blackdoglab

Ohhhh, I feel like I've been naughty today.  I need a spanking. (just kidding):hail: :hail: :hail:


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## Chris of Arabia

I feel that this is probably just the sort of place you'd find it too, but perhaps not from me _(if you find someone, just PM me will you  )_

>;o))


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## nabero




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## Chris of Arabia

Voyerism too, this place gets better 

>;o))


----------



## zendianah




----------



## nabero

:bigangel:


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## zendianah

I wish my devil had a tutu..


----------



## nabero

....she's only got a blue dress


----------



## zendianah

devil with the blue dress blue dress... damn u nabero.. now im going to sing that song and drive the kids and husband crazy..


----------



## nabero

mwhahaha...


----------



## morydd

We all remember who else had a blue dress.


----------



## nabero

she needed a better dry cleaner...


----------



## doenoe

or find a guy who got a better aim


----------



## Corry

doenoe said:


> or find a guy who got a better aim



Now this is what this thread was missing....DAAN!


----------



## lostprophet

Daan or Daan's fat boy? ;-)


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> Ohhhh, I feel like I've been naughty today.  I need a spanking. (just kidding):hail: :hail: :hail:


 
Now why does that make me wonder where Cindy is?


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## doenoe

There is no fatboy without a Daan, now is there


----------



## lostprophet

doenoe said:


> There is no fatboy without a Daan, now is there


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## The_Traveler

I am very disappointed that no one has made an outright proposition to me. Something in the lines of ."I'll take you where you've never been before, Big Boy. I'll wring you dry. I'll use you until you're a husk of a man, fit for no other woman. Grab ahold of your shoes, we won't be down this road again."

Now that's flirting.


----------



## Corry

doenoe said:


> There is no fatboy without a Daan, now is there



Daan....why don't you come on over....I've got room for your fatboy....


----------



## Rayna'

Corry said:


> Daan....why don't you come on over....I've got room for your fatboy....


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## nabero

:stun::lmao:


oh dear...


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## lostprophet

Corry buy your own bloody fat boy!!!!


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## Corry

lostprophet said:


> Corry buy your own bloody fat boy!!!!



BUY!?  Why...I never!  I have morals!


----------



## lostprophet

Corry said:


> BUY!?  Why...I never!  I have morals!



thats a shame ;-)


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## Corry

lostprophet said:


> thats a shame ;-)



*note: I didn't say I have GOOD morals.


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## nabero

Corry said:


> BUY!?  Why...I never!  I have morals!




pfft...morals are overrated


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## Chris of Arabia

Know what you mean, prefer ****ake myself...

>;o))

Edit: I know that was a really bad joke, but can I not even mention name a type of Japanese mushroom without getting censored?


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## Antarctican

(^^^ Psst, it's spelled 'shiitake'. And I thought it was pretty funny.  Rimshot, please:  




)


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## Chris of Arabia

Yeah, worked that out slightly too late to make it worth the effort correcting. Oh well...


----------



## nabero




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## (Ghastly) Krueger

That's a cute bunny you got there, nabero...


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## nabero

it's an even cuter kitty...


----------



## (Ghastly) Krueger

Oh, right... I just saw something fuzzy... and cute.


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## nabero

you're fuzzy and cute


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## EBphotography

*wears a bunny suit*

Edit: *and a cat suit, just on top*


----------



## lostprophet

for a moment there I thought the conversation had turned to Otters


----------



## Rayna'

nabero said:


> you're fuzzy and cute


 

I prefer cute with no fuzzy.


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## nabero

ok...so EB is a cabbit...who wants to get dolled up for lp?

http://www.facemakersincorporated.com/images/o/otters.jpg


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## (Ghastly) Krueger

nabero said:


> you're fuzzy and cute


 
Well, fuzzy yes, cute... not so but thanks 



Rayna' said:


> I prefer cute with no fuzzy.


 
Some do, but I understand it itches after a while...


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## Rayna'

(Ghastly) Krueger said:


> Well, fuzzy yes, cute... not so but thanks
> 
> 
> 
> Some do, but I understand it itches after a while...


 
:greendev:


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## nabero

so...rayna's going to wear an otter suit?


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## EBphotography

I'm already wearing 2 suits, why not make it three?


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## Rayna'

maybe.....lp, would you like me to wear an otter suit?


----------



## lostprophet

Well at least the Otters are getting flirty


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## Antarctican

AwwwwWWWwww!!! (nuzzle nuzzle)


----------



## nabero

awwww cute and fuzzies


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## mortallis288

The_Traveler said:


> I am very disappointed that no one has made an outright proposition to me. Something in the lines of ."I'll take you where you've never been before, Big Boy. I'll wring you dry. I'll use you until you're a husk of a man, fit for no other woman. Grab ahold of your shoes, we won't be down this road again."
> 
> Now that's flirting.



that gave me the uh-oh feeling


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## doenoe

i just had an uh-oh moment, but that had nothing to do with feelings. Well the other people in this room didnt felt to good afterwards though.


----------



## blackdoglab

Hey gals, I'll be your Irving Klaw if you'll be my Bettie Page......  (actually I feel a bit dirty posting on this thread.  Perhaps I should take a shower)


----------



## Alex_B

I am too shy to flirt


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## nabero

Alex_B said:


> I am too shy to flirt



same here...


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## blackdoglab

> Quote:
> Originally Posted by *Alex_B*
> 
> 
> _I am too shy to flirt _
> 
> same here...
> __________________


 
awww...  How about a line like this.  "Let's play darkroom.  Turn out the lights and see what develops."


----------



## nabero

blackdoglab said:


> awww...  How about a line like this.  "Let's play darkroom.  Turn out the lights and see what develops."


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## ashfordphoto

blackdoglab said:


> "Let's play darkroom. Turn out the lights and see what develops."


 

Do share the photos so we can...."critique" them.


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## mortallis288

no making purple in the dark room


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## ashfordphoto

:bouncy:


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## mortallis288




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## nabero

flirting seems a little...violent... these days:shock:


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## ashfordphoto

dang - that's a lotta spankin goin on.


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## ashfordphoto

nabero said:


> flirting seems a little...violent... these days:shock:


 

not violent, rough.


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## nabero

tomato....tom_a_to


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## ashfordphoto

yes, that's what happen's after a spankin like mortallis'.  tomato butt.


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## Puscas

mortallis288 said:


>



well, the smiley getting spanked seems to be smiling...or is that just me...:raisedbrow:







pascal


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## nabero

ashfordphoto said:


> yes, that's what happen's after a spankin like mortallis'.  tomato butt.



tomato butt?  think there's an ointment for that?...


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## ashfordphoto

<- that's the best I've got.


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## nabero




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## Tangerini

Alex_B said:


> I am too shy to flirt



 You lie!


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## nabero

I think alex is busted :lmao:


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## ashfordphoto

nabero said:


>


 

:badangel:  <- that's more like it, nabero.


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## nabero

c'mon there's nothing wrong with a little danger, right ashfordphoto?


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## ashfordphoto

you wanna see danger???


ldman:


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## nabero

shake what your mama gave you....

...so danger is a wiggly butt?   Surprisingly, it's not a tomato butt


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## ashfordphoto

old man wiggly butt is the gatekeeper for the darkroom where the real danger lies. :stun:


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## Alex_B

Tangerini said:


> You lie!



:stun: <- can these eyes lie? 

:albino:


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## lostprophet




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## mortallis288

:thumbup: just checking the oil.....


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## Hertz van Rental

I must say, this is all very disappointing. I thought this thread was going to provide us with party hats and balloons... (Well, that's what I think is missing from the forum. We used to have them... in the good old days... the girls would bake cookies and Chase would provide the ginger beer... we even had a dungeon...)


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## blackdoglab

o.k. o.k.......  Just imagine me  (shortish, husky guy) dancing on a table in a pair of briefs.  Is that the party we're goin' for here?


----------



## nabero

hold on...i think i have some singles in my purse....


----------



## ashfordphoto

why are the guys on the tables?

Shouldn't the ladies be on the tables while the guys eat cookies?


----------



## Hertz van Rental

ashfordphoto said:


> why are the guys on the tables?



Bad sense of direction?


----------



## blackdoglab

Ya gotta have table dancing at a party.  Granted that I'm not a party person, but I can imagine it.


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## Hertz van Rental

I seem to remember that in my drinking days the tables used to dance a lot...


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## nabero




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## ashfordphoto

there she goes!    

...now where's my cash....:scratch:


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## nabero

C'mon...do I really have to dance alone?


----------



## Alex_B

Hertz van Rental said:


> I seem to remember that in my drinking days the tables used to dance a lot...



in my drinking times I learned that tables have a downside


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## lostprophet

I'd just like to point out that I have never touched a drop of alcohol


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## nabero

I'd just like to point out....BS


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## lostprophet

why does everyone keep picking on me?
I'm off to hide in landscape & nature


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## nabero

lostprophet said:


> why does everyone keep picking on me?
> I'm off to hide in landscape & nature




Awwww....:hugs:


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## Alex_B

let us pick on nabero now ...


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## nabero

B-b-b-but why? :stun:


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## Alex_B

nabero said:


> B-b-b-but why? :stun:



since andy has left, you are the only one i could pcik on now 
:hug::


----------



## nabero

well that's cracked logic if i ever heard any


----------



## Alex_B

nabero said:


> well that's cracked logic if i ever had any



aha.. well..


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## Antarctican

Did someone say 'table dancing'?
http://www.sherv.net/adult/adult-msn-smileys.gif


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## Alex_B

Antarctican said:


> Did someone say 'table dancing'?



is that you?


----------



## Antarctican

With sufficient Photoshop skills, it could be


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## nabero

Oh, Antarctican, what a shiny dress you have


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## Alex_B

Antarctican said:


> With sufficient Photoshop skills, it could be



referring to hair colour I suppose


----------



## blackdoglab

Ohh shiny hair.


----------



## ashfordphoto

the last time i saw antartican dance like that was with a penguin.  who's got their tux on tonight?


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## Alex_B

ashfordphoto said:


> who's got their tux on tonight?



me of course ...  So you think I'd have a chance?


----------



## ashfordphoto

alex, you _do_ have the biggest camera.


----------



## nabero

who's got on their dancin' shoes?


----------



## blackdoglab

sure, but I've got two left feet.  Anyone for some Bollywood?


----------



## Antarctican

Don those tuxes, guys.  Sweep me off my feet.


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## Puscas

Antarctican said:


> Don those tuxes, guys.  Sweep me off my feet.






















how about those moves....



pascal


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## lostprophet

I'm dancing if your asking


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## Antarctican

Oooooo yeah baby, work it, _work it_!!!


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## Hertz van Rental

lostprophet said:


> I'd just like to point out that I have never touched a drop of alcohol



Ah, well I used to have a drink problem... I could never get the corks out of the bottles fast enough.


----------



## Antarctican

Hey, this is a flirt thread! If you're no longer drinking, we haven't seen ya showing off any dance moves, what else have ya got to bring to the table?


----------



## blackdoglab

Hey, let's get some suits and have a groovy dance. Who's on the guest list? Just you, me, and these folks [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHA_S48KRrI[/ame]


----------



## Antarctican

^^^ OMG, Bollywood dancing from the 60s!  Pretty freaky to watch! [Bet they're glad now they were wearing masks.]  "Groovy baby. Scha-wing"


----------



## blackdoglab

Hey, what about these folks for a party?  [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5ky5ClIjL8[/ame]  I have to admit, I like this version better than the original.


----------



## nabero




----------



## Antarctican




----------



## nabero

Yay! Antarctican is partying with me!


----------



## ashfordphoto

:cheers:


----------



## Antarctican

<==== sad depiction of Antarctican trying to keep up with the younguns on the forum


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## nabero

Oh we don't drink *that* much...


----------



## Puscas

nabero said:


> Oh we don't drink *that* much...



we'll stop when we're seeing double...











oops.....






pascal


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## blackdoglab

I guess i'll have to be the designated driver.  Make sure you wear your seatbelts and don't moon any pedestrians.


----------



## nabero

wait...what?


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I did lose my car once and found it later parked on someone else's lawn - they kindly 'phoned me up to tell me where it was...
I never did find out who put it there *whistles nonchalantly*


----------



## zendianah

Always blame it on a pimp.. when all else fails..


----------



## Antarctican

Hertz van Rental said:


> I did lose my car once and found it later parked on someone else's lawn - they kindly 'phoned me up to tell me where it was...
> I never did find out who put it there *whistles nonchalantly*


I have heard that vandalism runs rampant in the UK.  How awful that you were the victim.....


----------



## Chris of Arabia

I keep coming into this thread in the hope that I can flirt just a little, but I'm rapidly drawing to the conclusion that I'm just no damned good at it. You may continue to practice on me though - chances are that it will be as realistic as one of those dummies they use for bayonet practice.

>;o))


----------



## zendianah

Since this is a flirt thread .. what about the cheesiest pickup lines.. anyone have any?

Heres mine : 
Excuse me.. can I have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine...


----------



## nabero

I lost my teddy bear....Can I sleep with you tonight? :blushing:


----------



## Alex_B

nabero said:


> I lost my teddy bear....Can I sleep with you tonight? :blushing:



I have some spare teddy bears, so I could borrow you one


----------



## lostprophet

Alex_B said:


> I have some spare teddy bears, so I could borrow you one



but I bet they are not Canon teddy bears


----------



## ashfordphoto

looks like nabero likes the chubby, hairy types...

here's mine:
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.


----------



## nabero

ashfordphoto said:


> here's mine:
> You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.





I've used that one....


....works


----------



## Alex_B

lostprophet said:


> but I bet they are not Canon teddy bears



no


----------



## Alex_B

ashfordphoto said:


> looks like nabero likes the chubby, hairy types...
> 
> here's mine:
> You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.



plastic and underwear don't go together in style ...


----------



## ashfordphoto

nabero said:


> I've used that one....
> 
> 
> ....works


----------



## nabero

I'm a fermata.....Hold me.


----------



## HASHASHIN

you tired? ....
cause youve been running through my mind ALL DAY!


----------



## Chris of Arabia

Hi, I'm new in town, could you show me how to get to your place?

>;o))


----------



## ashfordphoto

Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.


----------



## HASHASHIN

(grab the tag on the shirt the person is wearing)

just as i thought.....made in heaven


----------



## nabero

Nice shoes.


----------



## ashfordphoto

I got a new job at UPS and I'm here to deliver a package.


----------



## nabero

We should go for breakfast tomorrow....should i call you or nudge you?


----------



## HASHASHIN

youre a creepster.....


----------



## Antarctican

Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?


----------



## nabero

HASHASHIN said:


> youre a creepster.....




yeh ashfordphoto...you're such a creepster


----------



## HASHASHIN

youre a little miss creepster though...4 real


----------



## ashfordphoto

it's always the creepy ones that get the chicks.


----------



## Antarctican

(Ahem, back to the cheesy lines!)


(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?


----------



## HASHASHIN

those jeans would look great in a pile on my bedroom floor


----------



## nabero

and i'm the creepster? :lmao:

I'm just a love pirate looking for some booty.


----------



## HASHASHIN

wow....that one is soooooo good
ace, creepster, and now this...i feel like im this close to being hip { } <- that close


----------



## Antarctican

Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?


----------



## zendianah

Screw me if Im wrong, but is your name Vincent


----------



## HASHASHIN

wow....thats so good...LOVES IT


----------



## Puscas

zendianah said:


> Screw me if Im wrong, but is your name Vincent




. that's great. Too bad my name is not Vincent. 


No wait....






pascal


----------



## zendianah

I love that one 2..


----------



## Tatiana

Can I take a closer look at your tattoo?  

I've only used it once but boy did it work!


----------



## Chris of Arabia

zendianah said:


> Screw me if Im wrong, but is your name Vincent


 
Somehow, I can imagine you struck gold with that one.  

>;o))


----------



## zendianah

I'll never tell.


----------



## Chris of Arabia

If you're quick, it'll only be me that knows and no one else will be any the wiser...

>;o))


----------



## blackdoglab

I recall a conversation at a camera shop...
What lens mount does that use?
Pentax screwmount.
Oh (longish pause)
Yep.
Why not a bayonet mount.  Changing lenses goes faster.
Sure, but what's wrong with screwing?

So folks, get out yer spotmatics and zenits and let's start..........(insert your preferred word and/or concept here)


----------



## lostprophet

no no no the best one is when a woman comes in to the shop and asks for a Leica, you very quickly say "Leica screw?"


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I was taught for a while by an American photographer whose chat-up line was:
'As long as I got a face, honey, you got somewhere to sit.'
For reasons I never understood it seemed to work - but I suspect they only did it to shut him up...


----------



## zendianah

Hertz van Rental said:


> I was taught for a while by an American photographer whose chat-up line was:
> 'As long as I got a face, honey, you got somewhere to sit.'
> For reasons I never understood it seemed to work - but I suspect they only did it to shut him up...


 
Thats a GREAT one.



lostprophet said:


> no no no the best one is when a woman comes in to the shop and asks for a Leica, you very quickly say "Leica screw?"


 
VERY funny



blackdoglab said:


> I recall a conversation at a camera shop...
> What lens mount does that use?
> Pentax screwmount.
> Oh (longish pause)
> Yep.
> Why not a bayonet mount. Changing lenses goes faster.
> Sure, but what's wrong with screwing?
> 
> nothing wrong with screwing... :mrgreen: ...
> lens mounts I mean.. dirty minds... GEEESEEE


----------



## blackdoglab

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.


----------



## zendianah

thank god I'm not wasting mine...


----------



## blackdoglab

In such romantic situations one must consider... WWBPD(what would Bettie Page do?)  I guess it depends if your date is a Bunny Yaeger or an Irving Klaw.


----------



## Chris of Arabia

In such romantic situations, I'd have to consider "Who the hell is Betty Page?"

>;o))


----------



## blackdoglab

Ah what a pity Chris.  Bettie was the top pin up model in the fifties.  She was one hot number.


----------



## Alex_B

i know a real life betti, that is her real name.... well. she is blonde, but there is some resemblance to the original Bettie


----------



## Alex_B

blackdoglab said:


> A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.



I do not waste mine ... I keep it and use it wisely !


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Alex_B said:


> I do not waste mine ... *I keep it* and use it wisely !



Not in a glass by the bed I hope


----------



## Antarctican

So, it's Friday. Who's got fun and flirty plans for the evening/weekend?


----------



## lostprophet

Antarctican said:


> So, it's Friday. Who's got fun and flirty plans for the evening/weekend?



yes


----------



## Antarctican

Yes, what? "Yes" you wanna know too, or "yes" you have fun flirty plans for the evening/weekend?   [And don't start to bragging over how you have next week off.]


----------



## lostprophet

Yes!


----------



## Rayna'

zendianah said:


> Screw me if Im wrong, but is your name Vincent


 

LOVE THAT!


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## (Ghastly) Krueger

Antarctican said:


> So, it's Friday. Who's got fun and flirty plans for the evening/weekend?


 
Me me me!

The baby is staying with my in laws for the night, so my wife and I will be able to do it all night long. Sleep! Yes! Finally a whole night!


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## Tatiana

Antarctican said:


> So, it's Friday. Who's got fun and flirty plans for the evening/weekend?



Not exactly what you're asking but worth sharing (I think):


I went on a "date" last night with this guy I met online. He'd told me he was a writer. We met for drinks and we got to talking about work and after I told him about mine I asked about his, you know, what kind of stuff does he write etc. After some hesitation he finally confessed that he writes "porn" novels for a living...


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## Antarctican

lostprophet said:


> Yes!


 






Now I'm starting to think you're just easy, what with always answering 'yes'!


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## Antarctican

(Ghastly) Krueger said:


> Me me me!
> 
> The baby is staying with my in laws for the night, so my wife and I will be able to do it all night long. Sleep! Yes! Finally a whole night!


 
:lmao:   heehee, didn't see that ending coming!!! Enjoy!


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## Antarctican

Tatiana said:


> Not exactly what you're asking but worth sharing (I think):
> 
> 
> I went on a "date" last night with this guy I met online. He'd told me he was a writer. We met for drinks and we got to talking about work and after I told him about mine I asked about his, you know, what kind of stuff does he write etc. After some hesitation he finally confessed that he writes "porn" novels for a living...


What a hoot!!!!!


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## Chris of Arabia

Antarctican said:


> Yes, what? "Yes" you wanna know too, or "yes" you have fun flirty plans for the evening/weekend? [And don't start to bragging over how you have next week off.]


 
Yes definitely. Me and 20,000 others are off to the footy tomorrow afternoon and we're all going to flirt with the idea that our team is good enough to get into the play-off positions and make it to the Premiership for the first time ever. The end result however is likely to be more akin to kipping on a borrowed damp patch... :er: 

>;o))


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## Alex_B

Tatiana said:


> he finally confessed that he writes "porn" novels for a living...




:lmao:


if it is really enough for a living.. then he must be good at it! .. certainly an interesting person in a way ... different.


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## lostprophet

Hey ladies, I'm not really this tall...I'm standing on my wallet


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## Antarctican

^^^


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## blackdoglab

I found the perfect love song.....  (and it's by Oingo Boingo too!)  http://www.boingo.org/raresongs/ViolentLoveEP.mp3


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## lostprophet

blackdoglab said:


> I found the perfect love song.....  (and it's by Oingo Boingo too!)  http://www.boingo.org/raresongs/ViolentLoveEP.mp3



Well that really dampened the passion of this thread


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## Chase

Are you THAT bored?


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## lostprophet

yes!


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## Corry

Pfffft, you're not even on MSN! You can't be THAT bored!


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## Hertz van Rental

I'm over flirty so this thread is of no use or interest to me :mrgreen:


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## blackdoglab

Unfortnately Hertz, you don't have Corry's flirty eyes.


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## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> Unfortnately Hertz, you don't have Corry's flirty eyes.



That would be messy, sticky and rather unpleasant...


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## blackdoglab

I'm in agreement, my door just doesn't swing your way hertz


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## Hertz van Rental

It's OK. I've brought my own axe. :crazy:


----------



## Corry

Wait, are you saying my eyes are messy, sticky, and rather unpleasant?


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## blackdoglab

Hertz, this is your call.  I'll stay out of this if ya don't mind


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## Hertz van Rental

Meh!

Corry, if I had your eyes the process whereby I had obtained them would be messy, sticky and unpleasant.
And I don't think you would be too keen on it, either.


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## blackdoglab

plastic surgery just wouldn't look good on you, especially when you've got that whole clokwork orange like stare goin' on.

Back to the flirting...

if any of you gals have one of these, call me 






(or even a cat)

just as long as ya don't mind making some space for it on the bed.


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## Hertz van Rental

You're into animals?


----------



## blackdoglab

nope, but sometimes it's easier to talk to a dog rather than a woman.


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## Hertz van Rental

There's a difference?

*Goes into hiding for rest of life*


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## blackdoglab

in my experience, the dog just listens without butting in or criticizing.  Even if the dogs owner dumps you, the dog will still be your pal...

...retreats into a dark corner...


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## Corry

I hope you have both contacted the witness protection program.


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## Hertz van Rental

Such nice eyes. It would be a shame if anything... were to happen to them.
Eyes... catch fire quite easily you know. So be a good girl and keep schtum.


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## blackdoglab

O.K Hertz, it's time fer yer strait jacket.  The padded cell is waiting for you, and there's a warm tranquilizer on the pillow.


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## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> there's a warm tranquilizer on the pillow.



By that do you mean a puppy?


----------



## blackdoglab

as charles schultz said... happiness is a warm puppy.


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## Hertz van Rental

To misquote Marx:
Pets are the opiate of the masses.
So that should read: Happiness is a warm poppy...


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## blackdoglab

i thought happiness was a warm gun.  at least the beatles thought so.


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## Corry

Great.  Just great.  I had that song (happiness is a warm gun) stuck in my head since you said that happiness is a warm puppy.  I JUST got it out of my head, and here ya go, puttin it right back in.  Thanks a lot.


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## blackdoglab

just ask Darich... i have a way of getting a song into your head.


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## Corry

So does Sky.  (Unimaxium).  It's a sport to him.  Bastard.


----------



## Corry

Oh wait, we're supposed to be flirting, aren't we? 



*Edit: HOLY CRAP!  My avatar and my smiley were blinking in unison!


----------



## blackdoglab

well corry, we've got all the vernor's you could want in wisconsin.  Maybe we should have a midwestern tpf gathering.


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## Hertz van Rental

Corry said:


> Oh wait, we're supposed to be flirting, aren't we?



Some men are attracted to the dominatrix.


----------



## blackdoglab

this is quickly becoming the worship corry society...


----------



## blackdoglab

and on that lovely topic, I found a link!!! [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsgTLpyiXKc[/ame]


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## Corry

Hertz van Rental said:


> Some men are attracted to the dominatrix.



I was a dominatrix for Halloween once.  I still have the whip and the glow in the dark handcuffs somewhere.....


----------



## Corry

blackdoglab said:


> this is quickly becoming the worship corry society...



I'm ok with that. :mrgreen:


----------



## Corry

blackdoglab said:


> and on that lovely topic, I found a link!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsgTLpyiXKc


----------



## blackdoglab

need i say more?


----------



## Corry

Hahaha! How weird!


----------



## blackdoglab

well, i'm gonna get some shuteye...

goodnight...


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Ah, Tom Lehrer. I have a double album of one of his live concerts somewhere. Each song is a gem.


----------



## blackdoglab

Well then Hertz, shall we take the little lady out and poison some pigeons in the park?


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I'm partial to this one


And all of his lyrics are HERE


----------



## blackdoglab

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWReXPcuFg0&mode=related&search[/ame]=

just to remind us that it's a flirty thread


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## Hertz van Rental

I thought the flirty thread had gone somewhere else to get some food.


----------



## blackdoglab

happiness is a full stomach

and as far as I'm concerned, any gal who can make a killer dessert can flirt with me.


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## Hertz van Rental

You mean you only want your lust desserts?



OK. I'll go quietly...


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## blackdoglab

i'm not all that of a lusty guy myself...

never looked at a dirty magazine,
always believed in treating women with respect and dignity,


nope, not a sex beast, just lookin' fer a gal that can complete me,

and,

who can take a mean picture, likes old movies,
and wouldn't mind a kid or two


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> just lookin' fer a gal that can complete me



So you are Sudoku? Always thought it was a person and not just a game. :lmao:


----------



## photogoddess

Hertz van Rental said:


> Some men are attracted to the dominatrix.



You called?


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Woot! Does that mean your dungeon is once more open for business?
I've got an old bear suit hanging around here somewhere...


----------



## photogoddess

Absolutely!!! Better get out the tu-tu as well. You're going to need it.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I'll be with you just as soon as I've taken out some life insurance....

...and had the bear suit dry cleaned. Who used this last?


----------



## blackdoglab

and if you brake the rack, you've bought it buddy


----------



## duncanp

zomg this thread is new

*reads a bit*



*runs*


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> and if you brake the rack, you've bought it buddy



Don't worry. She has spares - and I'm pretty good at woodwork.


----------



## blackdoglab

Look what ya did now Hertz. Ya scared another Brit.  PhotoGoddess will probably have to give you a spankin'.


----------



## duncanp

*creeps back round the corner*

*notes the weird man from Rutland is still here =|"



*runs*


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Avert your gaze, my lad. You're too young to see this.


----------



## blackdoglab

time for a bondage pun...

love hurtz


----------



## Tangerini

blackdoglab said:


> time for a bondage pun...
> 
> love hurtz



Of all the bad puns I've seen, this is on the list.


----------



## photogoddess

Hertz van Rental said:


> I'll be with you just as soon as I've taken out some life insurance....
> 
> ...and had the bear suit dry cleaned. Who used this last?



I'm pretty sure MD did. Considering that, I'd wash it twice. :er:

Be ready for the rack! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 It's ready for you!


----------



## Hertz van Rental

I thought the stains looked familiar. I think I shall boil it.

Tell everyone else on the Forum I'll be gone for a stretch....



(I believe 'love Hertz' was used as a bad pun back in '05 during the Gold Rush)


----------



## photogoddess

Hertz van Rental said:


> Tell everyone else on the Forum I'll be gone for a stretch....



A VERY LONG stretch!


----------



## duncanp

Hertz van Rental said:


> Avert your gaze, my lad. You're too young to see this.




:stun:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

photogoddess said:


> A VERY LONG stretch!



Isn't it long enough for you already? :mrgreen:


----------



## blackdoglab

but what's the appeal of having a big nose?


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> but what's the appeal of having a big nose?



I wouldn't know. It's your fetish. My sights are set lower.


----------



## blackdoglab

so Hertz, you've got a foot fetish then


----------



## Antarctican

(Oh BDL, do _not_ feed him straight lines like that!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





)


----------



## blackdoglab

So Anty, you can be Nell and I'll be Dudley Do-Right.


----------



## Antarctican

Heehee, you'll recall that Nell was more interested in "Horse" than in Dudley. You're not gonna tie me to the railroad tracks, are you?? 











....................


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Antarctican said:


> Heehee, you'll recall that Nell was more interested in "Horse" than in Dudley.



So she had a 'foot' fetish too, then?


----------



## blackdoglab

> You're not gonna tie me to the railroad tracks, are you??


 
only Snydly would do such a thing...  or possibly Hertz


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> only Snydly would do such a thing...  or possibly Hertz



I would never do such a thing. Rope costs too much.
Teaching people to swim when you've filled their water-wings with concrete is much more my style.


----------



## blackdoglab

and I thought you ran over little old ladies for sport


----------



## Hertz van Rental

There is that too. But not just little old ladies. Children, the disabled, anyone. They all score points.

And what do points mean?


----------



## blackdoglab

you left out small furry animals. 





and Anty...  I'll be Boris if you'll be Natasha


----------



## Antarctican

"Moose and squirr-el" 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





Take me to your 'Fearless Leader'


----------



## blackdoglab

Let's build our own Pottsylvania together


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> you left out small furry animals.



Because they don't score any points. And it's jolly unsporting to run down poor defenceless animals in a Range Rover.


----------



## blackdoglab

Did ya hear that gals, Hertz does have a heart


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> Hertz does have a heart



I have several. None of them mine :crazy:


----------



## photogoddess

You're ill Hertz. Now go down into my dungeon for some 'therapy' for what ails ya.


----------



## Hertz van Rental

photogoddess said:


> You're ill Hertz. Now go down into my dungeon for some 'therapy' for what ails ya.



You just want me to whip it out?


----------



## Tangerini

Now now, there's no need to scare the little ones...:er:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Tangerini said:


> Now now, there's no need to scare the little ones...:er:



It's past their bedtime - besides, a little childhood trauma never hurt anyone... :crazy:


----------



## Alex_B

Tangerini said:


> Now now, there's no need to scare the little ones...:er:



There is always need to scare them!


----------



## Tangerini

ha, it wasn't children I was referring to...


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Dwarves?


----------



## Tangerini

in a matter of speaking


----------



## Hertz van Rental

Oh my God! You're Snow White!!
Can I have your autograph? Huh? Can I?


----------



## photogoddess

Hertz van Rental said:


> You just want me to whip it out?



Ummmm Hertzy dear... You know that 'whipping' is my job.   Now be a good little bear, put your tu-tu on and get down into the dungeon.


----------



## blackdoglab

> Oh my God! You're Snow White!!
> Can I have your autograph? Huh? Can I?


 
I thought Anty was Snow White?  Just imagine the only woman in a house with seven small men deprived of a female for a few years...


----------



## Hertz van Rental

blackdoglab said:


> Just imagine the only woman in a house with seven small men deprived of a female for a few years...



And I thought there was another reason why they all felt Happy...


----------



## photogoddess

Hertz van Rental said:


> And I thought there was another reason why they all felt Happy...



They all felt up Happy??? :shock:

Gross!!! uke:


----------



## Hertz van Rental

photogoddess said:


> Gross!!! uke:



I agree.
It Disney bear thinking about...


----------

